Chapter 298

  The After Action Report (AAR)

  Never count your chickens before they are battered, fried, and served with a side, as my dad used to say.

  Just thinking about that comment made me realize that I still need to find where spirits go when they pass on with their seventh and final life. I refuse to believe that the spirits just die permanently here.

  From what I’ve seen and felt, it seems nearly impossible to destroy a spirit. That is to fully rip apart all aspects of the spirit and have it dissolve into nothingness, for that spirit, it is energy. Even unwoven and left to burn out, there has to be something that can be done.

  Now, I’m not conceited enough to think that I can bring back such a spirit from what is essentially beyond the brink of death.

  But I do think that at this point, I have progressed my senses enough to at least be able to see or find traces of spirits that have begun the disintegration process. Again, not that I’d be able to touch or even interact with such a spirit, as I think even that part of a spirit is beyond me, for now.

  In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize that what we consider Spirit Magic isn’t. That is, it is the magic of the physical world that can reach out and directly affect a person’s physical world connection to their spirit, but I don’t think we do anything to the spirit itself. At least that is the theory that I am currently working with.

  Still more would have to be done to prove or disprove this, but I think my understanding has merit. Why am I thinking these odd thoughts about my parents, and about death?

  Well, I am now being forced to go through the casualty reports with Mallory.

  With one name you feel numb and hollow, knowing that a person was so injured that even a body, or parts of said body were unable to be found. By the tenth, you swear you will ingrain all the names to memory. Then by the twentieth you feel hollow. Then somewhere after that, when you try not to cry, you think of other things. Anything really.

  Kids.

  Those bastards shot at kids.

  Not directly, apparently part of the last hurrah of the Legrand forces was to fire salvo after salvo into shelters, schools, and other buildings. The idea to get casualties high enough that the war would seem mostly even on both sides. Thus the number of deaths, particularly while I was away helping the Teleiotís gain a new species to their mix.

  All because of me being away that I missed saving kids.

  Well that’s not true, my Simulacrums had been coordinating with each other to help with Resurrections, but still there were so many people lost and unaccounted for.

  Right now, there is hope that many are just lost or still hiding, but somehow I know better. I can almost feel those that are lost.

  It started with just a faint creaking in my bones. A creaking caused by a deep feeling of cold and dread.

  When a name was called out that didn’t produce such a response from me, I perked up.

  “Wait, that last name, can you repeat it?” I asked, suddenly coming to life for the first time in this AAR meeting and providing my first true form of feedback.

  “Yes, it is refugee: Uriah,” the secretary states, I believe she is the dispatcher that called me out to the front lines to help. Her voice and aura sound familiar, but right now my mind is so elsewhere that it is hard to fathom.

  Hearing the name, I take a sigh of relief as that odd strange cold burning sensation doesn’t seem to freeze my hollow bones further.

  “They are alive,” I answer.

  “What?” Everyone gathered asks mostly in unison.

  “They are alive,” I repeat myself.

  “Not saying you are wrong, but how do you know?” Mallory asked, more questioning than anything.

  “It doesn’t hurt,” I reply, trying to put into action what I am truly feeling at the moment.

  “I’m sorry, what?” Mallory presses.

  “The name, it doesn’t hurt when it is spoken, which makes me think they are still alive,” I manage to say somehow. With that admission I lower my head, not wanting to say more.

  Perhaps it is my body posture. Or maybe it is the way I seem so sullen about everything else until now, but fortunately I have Mallory on my side, as she doesn’t press.

  “Put out a search notice for Uriah, we think he might just be misplaced or hiding,” Mallory commanded, and like that people nodded, left the room and no doubt began making calls.

  “Do you think you can help us find more?” Mallory asks, her tone light, though it is clear that she is able to spot any moment of insight, any advantage presented and take it for all it is worth.

  I nod, not really feeling up to saying much more.

  But like that, I somehow found myself listening to name after painful name being spoken. At first, helping in this way, identifying those that didn’t hurt to be said was a blessing. I even felt a bit of hope in myself when we noted three names in a row.

  However, the names continued, and the extent of damages from a relatively small skirmish were truly felt. As name after name came down, each getting lost. At first my mind tried to record them all, memorize each one that I could have saved, that I need to save next time.

  This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

  But you can’t.

  That or my mind blissfully blacked out, going as numb as each name being spoken made me feel inside.

  Somewhere in this process, the reporter, that is the one who was dictating the names turned away from me.

  I don’t know what I did or how I presented myself at that time, but I know it wasn’t my best.

  In a way the Indigenous people’s were the hardest to stomach, for they were just gone. The fellow regressors, many of which had extra chances. Chances that would be with any Flaws they purchased, and without any Merits, but I could hopefully fix that, if I met them.

  But the indigenous people, those were the ones that truly suffered from this, as they only had one chance to live and die. In a way there was a certain beauty to that, but in another it just meant they were bound to be brought up into our wars and politics.

  By the end, only Mallory would look at me, and watch for any signs that I noted a name as still living. Other than her, everyone else turned away. I can’t blame them.

  Even Umbra at one point woke up from my arms, gave me a quick lick on the face, and then ran over to Penelope. Using the out for what it was, Penelope gestured to the pup and then indicated that she would take it outside.

  Once outside, she could be seen thanks to my Angel’s Sight, rubbing at her eyes.

  It was clear that this was just as painful for her as it was for me. Though the idea of being able to save someone, anyone, despite the subsequent pain made this process somewhat bearable.

  In the end, I stopped listening to the names entirely.

  I just waited for the pain to stop, to melt slightly, and that’s when I would act. Raising my hand, which would be noticed by Mallory, who would then flag one of her secretaries who would then transmit the noted name to a new list of Missing.

  Not the best of names, but not the worst. Missing implied hope. It implied that those people could be found, and thus rescued and re-added back to our society. But they weren’t added yet, we still needed to find them, help them, and most importantly Heal them of any damages that prevented them from checking in already. This was where my dad’s comment about chickens came into play.

  Circling logical thought patterns, but they needed to help keep me sane. To help me from realizing that it had been a while since I was able to say anything helpful.

  Then finally the pain stopped.

  It took a moment, I wanted to raise my hand on reflex, to signify that no more pain was coming.

  But as I began to move, I realized that the dispatcher lady was done.

  As she stood there, she took one long deep breath and exhaled.

  With that one exhale the tension that had been building within the room suddenly dissipated, as everyone seemed to let out a collected breath of resolve, me included.

  “That is everyone that has been unaccounted for,” the secretary ended her report.

  Phew.

  And finally, hearing those words that I had longed for, I finally felt relieved.

  “Forty-seven casualties, and twenty-four still missing, but assumed to be alive,” Mallory noted.

  I nodded, those numbers sounded about right.

  I gave up on remembering those that were currently Missing. As their successes were far too infrequent. Also, the number of deaths showed that I didn’t do as much as I could, that more could have been done. Maybe if I hadn’t chided Kujo as much for sleeping with a Pomeranian he could have saved one or two more. Maybe I could train the litter of pups to help out. No wait, that would have to be Penelope’s job, I need to convince her to help me with this, but how?

  My mind is already on ways to improve, which is what these AAR events are for. This is why I am already thinking of ways to do things better, so I don’t have to be tortured in such a painful way in the future. By being forced to sit through a list of dead fellow Guild members and citizens.

  Then before my own thoughts can spiral out of control something happens.

  Warmth.

  The cold ache that I feel within my body suddenly begins to thaw, ever so slightly. This is done by the introduction of outside heat that begins to thaw my seemingly frozen insides.

  It takes me a moment to realize where the heat has come from.

  “Thank you, Cass,” Mallory notes, her face and mouth next to my pointy ears, which are able to catch even the warmth of her breath. Unlike most times when someone would speak this intimately to me, with their hot breath breathing down my spine, I just notice the heat, but not the intimacy.

  By her embrace, I feel some of the cold within my body shatter, as I am able to move slightly easier. Involuntary I feel my arms rising up and embracing her back in a reciprocated hug.

  Yes, she was hugging me, and it felt great. Well, it felt warm. Great was a concept that was still far away for me, but one that I could not give up at the moment.

  “Thank you,” I reply back, only now realizing how much I needed the hug after having gone through such an ordeal. The fact that Mallory was able to note that about me, and give me a hug so quickly spoke about how strong our bond was. More importantly, the act showed how good of a person Mallory truly was at heart, warts and all. Though I am not much better, which given that she can still stomach me only speaks higher to her character.

  Finally, after a long pause, the moment ends.

  As she pulls away from the hug, I feel a slight cold breeze overtake me, but that quickly gives way as the next person comes to hug me.

  This was the dispatcher, the one who was giving out the list.

  “Thank you, my daughter was one you noted was still alive,” the dispatcher whispered.

  I was about to protest, to say that I didn’t say she was alive, but then I felt her warmth and realized that right now she needed hope more than anything.

  “Would you like me to find her?” I ask, remembering my Family Tree Finder (Branches to Leaf Edition) spell.

  “Yes, yes please?” She pleaded as she backed up and stared at me. This time, unlike Mallory, I still felt warmth radiating from her. This was the warmth of hope. I could see golden threads of Karma reaching out from me and embracing her, but that was an unnecessary incentive, I just wanted to help her.

  Suddenly her demeanor midway through made sense. First, she was stoic, reading off the name of her child, but then she felt hope, or maybe relief, upon my indication that she might be alive. After that, she had to turn away to keep from crying. Something that she was now doing on her own.

  Seeing her complete sense of hope, that complete faith in me as a savior, at least for this moment, I couldn’t help but cast the spell. Still holding onto her hand, I quickly cast the spell.

  Family Tree Finder (Branches to Leaf Edition)

  For a moment, I think about Teleporting there, but remember my last time through, about how I felt my soul being pulled up and away. I also realize that Umbra is not with me this time to save me from such an ordeal. This is why I just cast the spell, and then make a temporary permanent fix from the Dispatcher to the child end of the spell. This way once she contacts the child at the other end of the spell, the energy used will dissolve.

  Fwoom.

  “Whoa,” she cries out as she can all but see a line snaking out of the door and around. The spell gives her the fastest route, not a direct route, which is important, otherwise she would need to walk through walls to get to her child.

  “You can see it?” I have to ask, as sometimes getting spells to be made visible to others is tricky for you have to effectively cast an Illusionary spell over the actual spell to demonstrate the mirrored capabilities of the first spell.

  Nodding.

  The dispatcher can only nod her head, then she takes one step forward. Only to pause and catch herself, as she quickly turns to Mallory, “can I?” She asks, while pointing to the intangible line leading out the door.

  Mallory for her part just nods, “go with her Melkin, and report back once they are united.”

  “Roger,” Melkin exclaimed before leaving.

  Well, he almost left, but then also came over and gave me a great bear hug.

  “OOF,” I exclaim, but it is still much needed warmth that I steal from him, so I am okay.

  “Thank you,” Melkin whispers, his voice nearly breaking as he hugs me tightly.

  “Yeah,” I say, reaching my arm around to pat him on the back.

  For a moment, Melkin lets up, only to then give me one last power squeeze from his massive arms. With that he breaks off his embrace and turns to grab the Dispatcher’s hand.

  “Melkin, just report to one of the guards that you all are safe, then you are dismissed for the night,” Mallory instructed.

  “Roger that,” Melkin replied as a giant smile filled his face, one of the first of many smiles filling the room.

  “Now go,” Mallory stated with a shewing gesture.

  At that the two, parents(?), left hand in hand as they first left the room somewhat stoically. Then as soon as the door closed behind them, they began taking off at a dead sprint out the hallway, out the entrance and off to the nearby end of the spell. Well, where the spell ended relatively nearby.

  I was on standby to help heal the child if needed, but seeing the spell’s final location it felt like that would not be necessary.

  Seeing their happy faces, at least for a moment made this whole ordeal slightly worthwhile.

  Just as I was busy watching their retreat, I got blindsided.

  “OOOFFF,” this was getting to be a habit.

  “Thank you,” Vickard cried out, as apparently it was now his turn to be thankful.

  Again, more of the ice inside me melted. This time it felt like I would finally be able to recover on my own, as the icy dull ache was gone and most just seemed to be the final dethawing of my insides.

  “You’re welcome,” I reply, as I also pat the overly large guard on his shoulder.

  “That is my goddaughter, and I don’t know what I would have done without her little smiles to brighten my mornings,” Vickard stated.

  With that statement, I realized just how tightly knit the entire community here was, everyone cares about each other, and they all have a vested interest in the outcomes of others.

  From there, I had a parade of huggers, each of whom seemed to be just thankful that I was there.

  “You Resurrected my boyfriend.”

  “You Resurrected my girlfriend.”

  “…my wife.”

  “…you Resurrected me.”

  On the list went, and I felt tears forming in my eyes, as I realized it had been worth it. Not the war, not by a long shot, but my efforts were noticed.

  “Aww stop, you’re going to make her cry,” Gwen stated. As she came forward, she seemed to have the same expression as earlier, but it was clearly a mask, as she then broke down and began to cry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be mad at you.”

  And finally, that last bastion of coldness in my heart completely disappeared and I felt warm again.

  “Oh, it feels so good to hold you again,” I respond, speaking from the heart. Only after I speak do I realize just how much I sound like my grandparents did when they got to hug me, though, I can explain the difference, they were old.

  We stay like that, in our awkward embrace for what feels like an eternity and no time at all.

  Finally, Mallory breaks the moment just as it seems that Gwen is getting to be antsy from the hold.

  “Well, you know what this means…”