Amy and I headed over to my room for some privacy while the others were enjoying themselves and socializing. Having some level of privacy and one-on-one time was hard to come by, and there was a busy day ahead of us, so I wanted to take what little time I had remaining and make the most of it.

  We piled in, I clicked the door lock and flipped the lights on, then walked over and collapsed on my bed. The thing barely saw any use. I slept as Apex, and in the bay downstairs on my giant beanbag. Amy stepped over to the side of the bed and looked down at me. I rolled my eyes at her and patted the bed next to me.

  She sat down and then stretched out next to me, with her hands folded on her abdomen. I was half-sprawled on my back, one arm over my head, and the leg near the wall flopped to the side with my foot against my other calf. I was very comfortable, and still recovering from the dip in my energy from the ordeal of growing, or perhaps molting a suit of armor plates and fiber mesh for Taylor.

  Amy swallowed and asked me, “What was up with making the suit back there?”

  Running my tongue over my teeth, I thought a moment with my lips slightly parted and my eyes closed. “I honestly don’t know. It was a very strange experience, from start to finish. I get these oddly conflicting sensations and feelings sometimes when I transform, and that was a particularly difficult and intense change.

  Amy’s voice was barely above a murmur, like she was asking herself as much as me. “What sorts of conflicting sensations?”

  I let out a sigh. “It’s painful and unpleasant in all sorts of ways, especially if I’m trying to go fast. Burning, cramps, feeling things break and tear are all, you know, well in the bad territory. Then there’s the weird zone. That’s things like feeling sensations of things moving around that really shouldn’t be moving, or having feeling in places and parts of my body I don’t normally have feeling, or detailed sensations in. Like, you feel your guts bubble or cramp sometimes, but you don’t usually feel them touching themselves. That’s just… yeah. Weird.”

  Amy turned her head slightly to the side and watched me out of one eye, nodding slightly.

  She didn’t say anything, so I continued. “Then there are good sensations, things that feel good or pleasurable, but they’re also confusing, because if you think about it, it shouldn’t feel good. It’s pleasurable to emerge from or to grow into another form. Feeling myself expanding–like my capabilities–and my senses sharpening, strength, agility, everything else? It’s honestly hard to put into words. The best way I can describe it is to say that the process of ‘becoming more’ is deeply pleasurable. And sure, in a physical sensation way, but also in like, an emotional or spiritual way, if you want to call it that.”

  Amy nibbled on her lower lip, then admitted: “I wish I could feel that too.”

  I rolled onto my side to look at her properly. “Being myself–my true self–it’s something else entirely. It’s very hard to acclimate to, overwhelming, alien, and strange. But it’s also amazing, Amy. In some ways, it’s a bit of a disability. There are a lot of things I want to do that I can’t do, or can’t do in the ways I want to do them, like by being myself.”

  I brought my hands up to chest level between us, and she rolled over to face me and took them in her own. My heart was thumping and twisting in my chest as I tried to put my feelings into words. “I told Miss Militia and Armsmaster this in a private meeting in my home, when they first approached me about joining the Protectorate. I was really upset and saying things without a filter that I might not otherwise, but…”

  I took a breath, and Amy tugged my hands a bit closer to her. “Tell me, please. I want to know more about you, Morgan.”

  “It sounds bad to my own ears when I say it, but I don’t like being like this.”

  Amy blinked slowly, but didn’t look away from our locked eyes. “You mean that you don’t like being Morgan. ” It wasn’t a question.

  I nodded the tiniest bit.

  Her cheeks flushed into a light pink. Now I was the one wondering what was going through her mind. “I’m pretty sure I understand what you’re saying. You feel stronger and more capable as Apex than you do as Morgan.”

  “It’s–it’s more than just that, though. I feel like Morgan is an understanding of a past self that doesn’t exist anymore, and when I become her, I’m leaving myself to put on a costume. Sometimes it’s a convenience issue, because I literally can’t fit somewhere, like here, and other times it’s because I’m doing what I think other people want me to do, like my parents seeing me around, or whatever.”

  “I don’t know if this is any consolation to you or not, but I like you both ways?” Amy speculated in the quiet space between us. She looked like she was trying to stare clear through me. And like she had other things on her mind.

  I closed my eyes for a moment and took a few breaths to ground myself. “Amy, I can tell there’s more to what you were saying, and I’d like to hear it, even if… it might be difficult.”

  “Are you sure?” She asked back, and I nodded.

  I heard her wet her lips. “You’re really my type, like you are currently.”

  Sure, makes sense to me. But…

  “I’m not sure how I feel about how you are as Apex? ” She hummed a note, the tone wavering as she thought. “I think you are amazing, inside and out, when you are yourself, and I love the aesthetic and style of Apex. I’ve been fretting some myself because I don’t really feel like… You know, physical attraction when you’re yourself.”

  My lips drew together, and I did everything I could to not let Mount Doubt erupt in my psyche.

  Amy cleared her throat. “But, I am still really into you–” I felt her fingertip lightly tapping on my forehead with the ‘you.’ “-regardless of what form you’re in. The thing that makes me drawn to you isn’t just how you look, but who you are. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m… super sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

  I opened my eyes to see her still staring at me as she had been, and I slid my head forward. Our lips met in the middle, and I took a few minutes to express my feelings to her non-verbally.

  Warmth and gratitude. Acceptance.

  When I came back up for air and clarity, Amy wasn’t the only one with heated cheeks. I grinned, and she followed suit. She rolled over and scooted back to be held, and I was happy to oblige.

  “Can we talk about this thing with Taylor?” I asked her.

  “Mhm, ‘course.”

  “I know you told me about all the times people in school asked you for stuff over the years. And how pushy people can get about even the medical stuff. How much of it bothered you at the time? I assume it still bothers you now? Feeling like you’re the solution to most everyday people’s problems?”

  “Mmm.” She hummed and rocked her head, sending frizzy, tickling hairs into my nose.

  “Ack, it’s like your hair was made for tickling people,” I joked, pulling my head back slightly so I didn’t wind up sneezing all over her.

  That got a small laugh out of her. “I don’t feel as anxious about it now. And healing people hasn’t been bothering me quite as much, either. I think… maybe it’s because I’m not Panacea anymore, and it’s not this endless mountain to climb, or something?” She paused, humming some more. “Come to think of it, despite everything else going on, I’ve actually been feeling… better. A lot better.”

  I squeezed her from behind like a frizzy teddy bear, and she eeped.

  “I’m really happy to hear that. Is that why you offered to help Taylor?”

  She went still for a moment, then asked: “Are you jealous that I did?”

  Can’t forget she’s still a basket of insecurities as well, especially when it concerns her power.

  I gave her another, softer hug. “No, I’m not, but I have been thinking about it.”

  “Mm, yeah? Concerned or…” She trailed off.

  “Oh, no. More like ideas. Ever since I’ve been more active and engaged with my own power and modifying myself, it’s something I think about from time to time. But no, not jealous. I know it wouldn’t work on me, anyway.”

  “What sorts of ideas?” Even facing away, I heard the sparking interest in her voice.

  “Well, you talked about Taylor putting on a little more mass, and the ways you could do it, but I was thinking more like…” I drummed my fingers on her abdomen. “Not like that eugenics shit, but… You know, like a broad-spectrum package?”

  “Go on?” She asked.

  “I know this probably sounds bad, but like, a human plus upgrade, or something. A software patch? A whole host of improvements that would be permanent for the person, but wouldn’t be… what’s that called… germ changes? You know, not inheritable, if they had kids. Because that’s a whole huge basket of worms.”

  “Oh, right, right. Sure, I can make changes like that, totally. You just talk, and I’ll listen. Promise you I won’t judge if you stick your foot in your mouth or say something that’s not doable.”

  I leaned forward and smelled her hair.

  “Blank check, huh?”

  “Mhm!”

  I went to start, then paused. “Wait. I know we’re talking hypotheticals here, but shouldn’t we actually bring her in here? She’s really knowledgeable about some of these things, and it also might be worth having an echo board with a stake in things to say like, ‘no, that’s a bit too far,’ or something.”

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Amy made a soft whine, but she relented. “Yeah, you’re right, even if I want to hog your time all to myself.”

  “Bluh. I know. Having a little time off is… weird. But I won’t complain.”

  I climbed out of bed and walked to the door, and Amy sat up and straightened out her shirt. It wasn’t hard to locate Taylor; she was sitting on one of the sofas, chatting quietly with Lisa while Melody and Chris gamed on one of the smaller entertainment centers. I leaned over and gave my sister a kiss on the head in passing, and she didn’t even protest the momentary distraction from her match.

  Approaching the side of the sofa where the two girls sat, I winked at Lisa provocatively. Taylor was back in comfort wear.

  Lisa looked up at me and asked, “How much is it going to cost me to get something in purple and black made?”

  I could tell she was teasing me. “You don’t even want to know. More than you’re willing to pay.”

  The ever-present grin spread further on her lips. “I don’t know, I’m doing decently for myself. You know, crime paying, and all that.”

  I snorted. “Oh no, I would demand other compensation. And it would be extremely gay.”

  Lisa clapped her palms to her cheeks and made like she was simultaneously screaming and trying to keep her face from melting off.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time. Later than I’d have liked, but still early, all things considered. I looked around for anyone potentially snooping, but the coast was relatively clear at the moment. Still, I dropped my voice.

  “What are the chances I can get you to call a team meeting for that talk we’ve been meaning to have?”

  Lisa wrinkled her nose and huffed. “You mean about politics and allegiances, of course.”

  “Yes, that one,” I agreed.

  She took out her phone and looked through the menus. “I could probably get it done today, in a couple hours, since not everyone wakes up at a reasonable hour.” She locked her phone with a click and set it on her lap to look back up at me. “I can tell you right now that you’re facing a very hard sell, some more than others. But we have talked about it, and most of the team is at least willing to entertain a discussion.”

  I lifted an eyebrow.

  “Well, we’ve had some roster changes of late, and that talk preceded our newest member’s arrival. And to be honest, most, if not all of us, are opposed on some level or another,” Lisa said.

  I gave her a curt nod. “I understand. Sitting down to talk is a good starting place, even if that’s all that really comes of it. It’s still progress. See what time you can get people locked in for, and text me, so I can pass it along and we can have all relevant hands on deck to attend.”

  “Sure, works for me,” she replied and pulled her phone back out.

  “Will you be sticking around for a bit? I need to steal Taylor away for a few.”

  The two of them exchanged glances. “No, now’s as good a time as any to get motivated and take care of some of my own errands. I was going to be leaving shortly, either way.”

  I held out a hand to help her up, and she took it. I held onto her hand after I’d given her a lift, and held my other arm out. We made eye contact. “You’re welcome here anytime, Lisa. You and your friends, just so long as everyone’s on the same page. I’m sorry about last night, and the scare with everything after Rachel did her thing.”

  Lisa accepted a brief hug from me.

  When she stepped back and I’d let go of her hand, she straightened herself out with a light huff. “No, you don’t have to apologize; if anything, it should have been the other way around. She can have temper issues, and I suspected she might try and start an argument or something, but not like that.”

  I shook my head. “We talked, she and I. I’m… a bit fond of her, even though she really doesn’t give people much in the way of things to find endearing.”

  Lisa’s look shifted slightly towards the lecherous side of things, and I rolled my eyes. “Not like that. I want to help her, more than anything. It’s not hard to figure out that she’s been through some shit, and it’s still following her around.”

  Taylor stood up behind Lisa. The two shared a hug and a few whispers, then Lisa took off. I expected I’d hear from her fairly shortly.

  Taylor turned to me. “What’s up?”

  “Dirty, awful, and horrible secrets to discuss,” I glanced over at Melody and Chris, then back at Taylor. “My room?”

  She shrugged, and we walked around the corner and down the hall. Amy was still on my bed, lying back with her phone out. I closed the door behind us. I gave Taylor the pick of her choice of the bed or the chair that’d been returned to my desk. She seemed indecisive.

  “Oh, just get on the bed, you silly-ass thing,” I told her, while shooing her over in the direction.

  She climbed on and sat at a right angle, back against the wall, and legs spread across the foot of the bed. I poked Amy, and she slid to the inside, and I took a seat with my legs up and back against the wall at the head of the bed.

  I cleared my throat and addressed Taylor. “So, Amy and I were discussing the thing she’d offered you. Have you made a decision?”

  Pursing her lips, she bobbed her head. “Yeah, I’m open to the idea. I wasn’t at first, but then I started thinking about how ego-driven the whole idea of rejecting help and ‘trying to make it all on my own’ was with that, but not with other things. Same… as I was reluctant to try and take your suggestions at first, Morgan.”

  I smiled at her, and she glanced away. I nudged Amy, and she put her phone away and voiced my sentiment. “That’s great, you’re trying to try new things. I am too. I have the same sorts of issues, feeling like I shouldn’t be doing something because I have this other idea in my head that it doesn’t match up to.”

  “Thanks…” Taylor muttered, but she seemed like she meant it.

  I spoke next. “I was talking to Amy about this idea I’ve been tossing around in my head, with my own power? You know, since changing myself is my deal, I started thinking more about what it might look like if I weren’t in the situation that I’m in, being a changer. How would I try and change myself in other ways? Amy and I were going to try and think of a plan, but I thought it might be better to include you, since you’re a bit of a master planner yourself, and it’s a subject that concerns you directly–being your own body.” I chuckled at the end.

  Taylor looked over at me, then glanced at Amy before returning her gaze to me. “I’m not sure I follow? Not exactly.”

  I looked down at Amy, and she poked my hip.

  All on me, huh?

  “Well, imagine you have a blank check, right? You can cash it out for basically whatever you can think of. Between the two of us, I think we could probably figure out a way to make it happen, make it work, and have it be safe.” Taylor’s facial expression transitioned into a look of focus, or maybe concentration. “I mean, it could be whatever you want, right? Naturally blue hair, or nails that never crack or chip. But we were thinking, if you’re going to try and do something to give yourself a little strength boost, why limit yourself?”

  “...I’m not sure I could pull off the four-armed look, Morgan,” Taylor said after a long pause.

  It was stupid, but I laughed regardless.

  Folding my hands together over my lap, I tapped one thumb against the other. “Want me to say what I was thinking, and then you tell me if it’s gross or stupid? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love it if you tried to keep an open mind, but ultimately, it is you we’re talking about.”

  Something flashed over Taylor’s face, and her expression softened. I was super curious what she’d thought of in that moment.

  “Yeah, we can do that. And I’ll try, it’s not like you haven’t been going out of your way to try and help in other ways.”

  I smiled at her. “And I’ll keep trying to help, Taylor. So! This might be a bit nerdy of me to phrase it like this, but what I’ve been thinking about is sort of like… a human software patch.” That got the attention of both of them. “Nothing really even visible, not growing a tail or something like that. Basically, taking the stuff we’ve got going on, smoothing out some rough edges, fixing some things that might not work so well, and making small improvements in a sort of across-the-board manner.”

  “Hm.” The gears were turning in Taylor’s head.

  “Any specific examples, Morgan? It’s… easy to say, but the details matter. I’m only really as good as the things I can think up most of the time,” Amy said from my side.

  “Well,” I started, “that’s one of the reasons I wanted Taylor here. She seems to know quite a bit about biology, and she’s always coming up with interesting ways of solving problems and using her bugs, you know? But I’ll try and start us off with the little bit of things I know about, that I feel confident enough to talk about.”

  “Wait, do you have a notepad?” Amy asked.

  Good point.

  I hopped up and grabbed a spiral-bound notepad and a pen from my desk, and handed them over to Amy, who sat up to write on her lap while I sat back down in my previous position.

  “So I know exercise, strength training stuff, body dynamics, stuff like that, right? So here’s just the things I’d think of off the top of my head. Should I just like… toss them out there?”

  Amy nodded.

  “Well, for strength in particular, you can always grow and develop more muscle, but there’s limits, right? Plus not everyone wants to look like they’re about to tear out of their shirt. So I know there are a few big bottlenecks and areas for improvement. Some people can recover faster from training. Connective tissues are a big one, people tear their ligaments all the time in sports, and it can range from bad to career-ending. I read a thing about people who do real heavy weight lifting, like world record stuff? Turns out that the reason some of them are so strong is simply because the places the muscles attach to the skeleton have a bigger area on the bone.”

  Amy was writing out notes at a rapid pace, and she had really lovely-looking handwriting.

  “What about bones?” Taylor asked. “It’s a small miracle I haven’t broken any, but could they be made stronger?”

  “Bones are super easy. There are a ton of ways to make them more durable without really even changing anything.”

  “Being granted immunity to most common diseases, parasites, and infectious stuff seems like a no-brainer, but how hard would it be?”

  “Not very. The immune system is really good at what it does, just need to tell it what to look for, like an immunization shot,” Amy replied.

  “Yeah, uh. That’d be nice. Not having to worry about getting HIV or something from having a fistfight with a merchant would be a huge relief,” Taylor said.

  We talked for nearly two hours. Both Amy and Taylor wound up moving to my desk and working over a pair of notebooks diligently, while I contributed in what ways I could. By the end of the session, Taylor had a nervous, animated energy about her. I imagined that I’d be the same if I were in her situation.

  My concept of a human software patch had been taken very liberally by the two, expanded into areas and systems I’d never even thought about. The principle remained the same: no dramatic rewrites, just making better use of what was already there, highlighting strengths while shoring up weak points.

  It grew from structural tweaks to a full-body overhaul. Tendon anchors and blood flow, mitochondria tuned, an immune system sharpened into a scalpel’s edge to lock out disease, poisons, and drugs. Neurons got the same treatment, balance and focus tightened, pain response recalibrated, and repair skewed toward actual healing instead of scar tissue. Not a different Taylor, just stripping away flaws and letting her body do the job it was meant to, only enhanced and less constrained by the bottlenecks imposed by natural selection.

  There was a single remaining elephant in the room to address. Amy cleared her throat and looked over at Taylor. “So, I know that this is a touchy subject for some people, because it plays a lot into style, but…”

  Taylor tilted her head and brushed some hair from in front of her glasses.

  “How do you feel about correcting your vision? I know a lot of people become attached to their glasses, but it can be a polarized subject. Some people hate them and want them gone.”

  Taylor fidgeted with her fingers on her lap and thought about it. “I like wearing glasses, but I don’t like the problems having really poor eyesight causes. There have been times when I’ve had my glasses knocked off and have essentially had to try and scrabble around and find them in not-ideal circumstances. One of the reasons why I built the lenses into my Skitter mask, they can’t fall off.”

  I clicked my tongue. “What about if we fixed your vision and simply replaced the lenses in your glasses with a non-prescription lens? You get to keep your style if you’d like, but it’s adding an option you didn’t have before.”

  Taylor furrowed her brow in thought. “It’s sort of hard to argue with that. Okay, yeah. Let’s do it, then.” She nodded once, firmly.

  “Can I take a peek to go over things? Just looking, not changing anything, but I want to do a deep-dive look to make sure that there aren’t any roadblocks or potential issues before we try and do any of this.” Amy asked Taylor, who nodded in agreement.

  Amy reached a hand over, and Taylor took it.

  Aw hell, I’m so sappy. Seeing them like this, bluh.

  Amy closed her eyes and was silent for a few minutes. “Huh,” she said at last.

  Taylor and I exchanged a look.

  “Is there a problem?” Taylor asked.

  “Well, no, not exactly, just noticed something I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t done a deep-dive.”

  Taylor swallowed.

  “I…” She cleared her throat. “I would like to know?”

  Amy, eyes still closed, said: “It might be a little embarrassing. Do you want Morgan to step out?”

  Taylor shook her head, saying, “No… that’s okay.”

  “Well, I can see why you have the build that you do. It’s not anything you’ve done wrong, it’s a little variation in your genetics. Your body isn’t responding to your hormones quite the way it should be. It’s nothing dangerous, but it means that your body has been growing without some of the other cues being received.”

  Taylor’s jaw flexed. I had a feeling that this was a tough subject for her.

  “I can correct it, if you want. It wouldn’t be overnight changes, but it would probably trigger a late catch-up growth spurt over the next couple of years. You’ll still look like you, just a bit more in line with what your body was originally supposed to do if the signals had been clearer. Maybe a bit awkward to go through later, but the end result would be natural. Entirely you.”

  Taylor’s voice was tight when she asked: “Is that something I would have gotten from my mom or dad?”

  “Mhm, yeah, it’s inherited. It could be identified and fixed with the right blood test and visit to a doctor’s office, too, just one of those things you don’t typically look for. You’d just have to start hormone therapy, if you wanted, or I could do it for you without any medications.”

  “What about the other things we talked about?” Taylor asked. “Any issues, or was the rest of it good, or whatever?”

  Amy smiled. “Oh, nope, none at all! You’re all good to go!”

  Taylor looked torn, her eyes were darting around, and she kept nibbling on her lower lip. I didn’t want to sway her. All I could do is offer her my hand in support. She took it.

  I tried to smile encouragingly at her. She made eye contact briefly with me, then locked into place. Her hand firmed in my grip. She’d made a decision.

  “Do it,” she told Amy, a resolve settling into her voice.

  “Which par–” Amy asked.

  “All of it. The whole thing, even that genetic part. I want to turn over a new leaf, with everything else that’s happened in my life this past month. I don’t want to be weighed down by the memories of the people haunting me.” Her hand tightened around mine, and Amy’s too, I suspected. “ Fuck them. I’ll be a better person than they ever were. All of them combined.”

  My smile grew into a giant shit-eating grin.

  “God damn right, Taylor. Brockton Strong,” I told her. “Forwards, not backwards. Even if we slip and slide, we’re still pushing for a better tomorrow.”

  “All set!” Amy said, opening her eyes and letting go of Taylor’s hand.

  Taylor blinked her eyes rapidly and looked around. “...That’s it?”

  Amy smiled. “That’s it. Body’s already rewriting itself. Give it a few hours, you’ll notice.”

  “What’s the fine print disclaimer, Doc?” I asked Amy sarcastically.

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Big jump in appetite and sleepiness the next day or two. Everything will be done within a week.”

  Taylor was still wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights. I still grinned over the entire thing. She had no idea that signing up for her upgrade package was going to be so easy.

  Hell. If anyone deserved it, it’s her.

  I looked at Amy. “So, do you want to tell her about that other idea you mentioned, or should I?”

  Amy squeezed her lips together to try to wipe the smirk off her face. She held her chest and coughed. “Oh, no, you can, sure.”

  I stood up from my bed and stretched my arms over my head with a groan.

  Looking down at Taylor, I held her gaze and licked my lips. “So, miss up-and-coming exo-tinker over here remembered something this morning, from the time you two fought at the bank.”

  Taylor blushed and mumbled an apology. Amy swatted her in the arm, and Taylor protested and rubbed the spot she’d gotten smacked.

  “So you remember how she figured out a way to jam your bug-sense, or whatever, essentially?”

  Taylor nodded quickly. “Yeah, that was seriously awful.”

  “Weeell…” I dragged it out to tease the raven-haired teen. “She thinks she can do you one better than that, if you’re willing to put some time into experimenting, at the risk of giving yourself a hell migraine.”

  Taylor squinted at my mirthful expression.

  “No promises, of course, but how would something like a mobile power relay sound to you?”

  Taylor Hebert actually gasped out loud. She pulled her jaw up long enough to blurt out: “Get the fuck out of here!”