Halcyon Days

  “What were you up to during the break?”

  “Studied. Helped Em out a bit, but yeah. Mostly just studied.”

  “That’s boring. What about—”

  “To be fair, Kor, I helped my father with his experiments and whatnot, too. Way better than attending ceremonies and social events.”

  “Don’t wanna defend the royal, but not sure what you’re doing if you’re not studying.”

  “Guh. Faris, you’re boring. Sel, what didja do?”

  “…You should know.”

  “Yeah, but like, for everyone else.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “’Kay, Elias, your turn. Don’t tell me…”

  “Ha. No. Not in a million years.”

  Ty looked up from her Tactician’s tome, having been focused on enchanting her targets. “Callie’s still not back from helping Alex unpack?”

  “Want me to go look?” Theo eyed her from the table, evidently in need of some distraction.

  After brief consideration, Ty bit her lip and shook her head. “No. I’m sure they’ll arrive when they do.”

  “So. No one’s going to ask me what I did over the break?” Kor crossed her legs and folded her hands together as Ty made her way back to the large class table at the front.

  Faris didn’t even bother to look up from one of Ty’s papers on the table. “Oh what will we do if we don’t know what you did over the summer?” he cooed sarcastically.

  “Well!” exclaimed Kor, completely blowing past his facetiousness. “Sel and I went around gathering herbs and plants to grow. We even passed by some Ancient communities!”

  Darius sat up straighter, turning to the petite Selene beside him. “You no worry about contesting? Is dangerous.”

  The botanist shrugged tepidly, the antithesis of Kor. “Doesn’t matter. Circle of Graces disbanded. Some deserted entirely, some headed to camps. Mom wanted to help, so I went around with Kor for a bit.”

  Ty, who sat down at her seat at the end of the table between Faris and Theo, froze. In fact, everyone at the table stopped exactly what they were doing, a single question on their minds.

  “They’re allowed to do that?” Ty sputtered first.

  Selene groaned, covering her head with her hood to complete her signature hermit look. “Ugh. I guess. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  Slightly deflated, Kor continued to try turning the news into something positive. “Oh, come on. It’s not as bad as it sounds. They’re just—”

  “They’re probably scared,” chuckled Faris under his breath, earning a kick from Ty and a murderous glare from the class botanist.

  Theo tried to choose his words carefully. “MATS has been very busy as of late, trying to tend to the remaining Ancient camps and see what to do with the Circle of Graces, who are intent on protecting the sanctuaries, too…it’s a bit of a messy situation. I can’t imagine how difficult the decision was to disband the Circle of Graces.” His eyes drifted to meet Ty’s. “They must have had good reason.”

  Though it felt wrong, Ty felt like nodding and ending the conversation there was the right thing to do. “Whatever’s past is past,” she tried to say with finality in her voice despite the uncertainty in her chest. “Let’s focus on what we need to do presently.”

  Right on time, the doors to the practice yard burst open, revealing a frizzy-haired Alex carrying a large book bag and a pink-faced Callie standing primly beside her.

  “Hi,” sighed Alex loudly before extending a stiff hand out for Callie to go ahead.

  “Ya finally made it,” Cyril greeted with a sweet smile on his face, watching Callie rush to her spot at the table beside Darius, followed by a clearly worn-out Alex.

  “Problem?” inquired Darius when Alex plopped herself down emphatically at the table.

  Before answering his question, Alex faced Ty and lowered her head. “I’m so sorry for being late. I…I lost track of time. Family issues and whatnot—anyway, so, so sorry.”

  Ty couldn’t help but smile at the endearing duelist. “Don’t worry about it. We weren’t doing much, anyway. Today’s class should be quick.” She craned her head to look at her page of notes that Faris had taken, straightening it when he turned it around to face her. “Aside from the preliminary reports notes and package posted to the bulletin board in the common room,” she read, “we’ve got the placement warm-up exam next week. Classes officially start the week after. Midterms are in the Month of the Tenth Grace, Exam Preparatory Period is the Eleventh, and then Final Exams are at the beginning of the Twelfth.”

  Ty swallowed, memories from the previous year returning to her. “This year, second-year students will be assigned a field mission during the Exam Preparatory Period.”

  Despite hearing murmurs from her classmates, Ty forged on. “Details of the mission will be revealed at a later date, subject to the Headmistress’s discretion. This date will not be later than the first week of the Month of the Eleventh Grace. It is not optional.”

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  There were other points she had written on her sheet, like likely scenarios and cases, but seeing as they’d study them during class practice anyway, she looked up apprehensively to gauge her students’ reactions. “Any…any problems with this?”

  “It’s not a simple escort this time, is it?” Faris muttered, still looking down at the paper. “I see these cases. They expect us to fight.”

  Callie spoke for the first time since arriving. “Usually that’s a third-year thing, right?”

  Trying to get ahead of the chaos, Ty nodded decisively. “Yes, but as Theo mentioned…”

  “They need all the help they can get.” The expression on Kor’s face was serious as she twirled a pencil in her hand and laughed dryly, adapting Sel’s seriousness. “Give ‘em a few more months, and I doubt it’ll get any better.”

  Selene was silent beside her, eyes glued to the space on the table in front of her and occasionally bringing a hand up to her face.

  “Let’s do our best and help in any way we can, then,” Cyril said, his voice gentle and his eyes full of compassion.

  Theo narrowed his eyes at the healer, a faint smile on his face. “Uh-huh. Who was the one running around asking to heal people last year?”

  “Hey, that was before!” protested Cyril with a pout. “It’s been a whole year. I’ve grown.”

  “Do our best…” echoed Darius solemnly, with some hesitation. The look in his eyes was distant, as if looking through the tactician. “No choice.”

  The class was silent.

  Taking the opportunity to get back on track, Ty looked at another page she had left at her seat. “Next on the agenda is the usual equipment maintenance, repair, and acquisition requests that will go to Darius—if anyone hasn’t received their updated cloaks, combat outfits, or pins, please note that here so I can get that sorted.

  “And then…and then there are the targets.” The tactician looked to the side, at the center of the courtyard.

  She pictured herself standing at the back, worrying over an ill-enchanted dummy. Theo standing at the center of a grassy courtyard bathed in an ephemeral, magnificent sunset gold. Asking her to duel with him, boasting of his aptitude as a caster. Washing her blood, the stones…her voice empty and disjunct. Trying to remain calm and unfeeling.

  Was life back then really better?

  “The targets?” prodded Alex kindly from across the table.

  “They’ll be our warm-up for today,” Ty finished when she remembered where she was. “We’ll get into our regular formation, and the challenge today will be like one we did before the last exam. I’ll make each test scenario harder as we get closer to the placement exam, which will be in five days, leaving the weekend work-free. Sound good?”

  She turned back to her students, who collectively met her stoic gaze. It was hard not to love every single one of them; even with their quirks, she could not deny that every single one of them had played a role in her own growth, and so—so how hard was it, to choose to protect everyone? She should embrace it. She was protecting everyone. This was her path, and she was going to walk it. At least she could choose how her fate unfolded.

  Like sheep unaware of the slaughter, they nodded.

  * * *

  “How do you feel?” It hadn’t been ten minutes since they had left class practice, but she was still worried.

  “I should be asking you that.”

  “I’m not the one with—”

  Theo squeezed her hand. “It’s okay,” he whispered, letting their voices ring out in the hollow infirmary.

  “What if it’s not okay?” she whispered too, turning to meet his gaze.

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  Warm. It was so warm.

  I don’t want to let go.

  The sound of her weeping echoed in the old stone building with walls high enough to hold grand mosaics of all the remaining ten Graces, empty beds that contained no patients, no evidence of hurt on the only two standing at its center; any tears that were shed were soaked up by Theo’s white Academy-assigned shirt, and any words that were spoken were heard by him alone.

  In their little world, manifested by the lies, the ‘It’s alright’s and ‘I’m okay’s, no Graces existed. No Earth Mother existed. No judges oversaw the world’s infinite sins. There would be no need to return the sinned to the Earth, no need for her to—

  “Can you still hear their voices?” he spoke first.

  “Yes.”

  “How do you endure it?”

  “I remember my promise.”

  “Ty—”

  “No. It’s the only way.”

  “…There’s always another option.”

  “It was Faris.”

  “Worth more than your life, huh?”

  Ty looked up at Theo and stepped back. “It’s more than that.”

  “You really believe what Darius and the Headmistress tell you?”

  “I do.”

  Theo took a deep breath and passed his hands through his hair as he turned around, looking up at the remaining glass panels that let sunlight in. He was standing on the side closest to the courtyard, the side of the Forward facets of the Graces. There were four left. “So, what are you going to do? Destroy every one of them? Until nothing’s left?”

  Ty turned to the other side, where the opposite Backward facets were, all six stained-glass windows on her side intact. “Hope will be left. You’ll be left.”

  “What I still don’t understand is why it had to be here. In the infirmary.”

  No one spoke until his words finished ringing in the empty hall.

  “Once enough are gone, it’ll be so dark,” she began this time.

  “People can still be healed here, even long after the Graces are dead. Even when no light shines through the glass.”

  “Sunless, Callie called it.”

  Ty turned around and stood beside Theo, studying the four remaining Forward Graces. The two that were covered. “Hythe, Grace of the Wind.”

  “Severed,” confirmed Theo softly.

  “Caspos, Grace of the Water. Severed.”

  “Lycea, Grace of the Land.”

  “Sephec, Grace of the Fire.”

  “Eslah, Grace of the Light.”

  “Anasot, Grace of the Dark.”

  “He looks a bit like Moriya, doesn’t he?” offered Theo pensively.

  “Anasot?”

  “Like a thin, wiry cat with a cloak too big for him.”

  Ty chuckled, continuing to look at the portrait. “He’s got a neat scepter, too. I could imagine Nate with one.”

  “He’d probably find it unwieldy and ineffectual. And then maybe he’d try to make a dry joke out of it.”

  “No one would laugh except for you.”

  “Not even Moriya.” He hummed. “I guess his face is different from Anasot, too. Look, he’s smiling.”

  “Nate could smile like that.”

  “Pfft, no way.”

  Ty nudged Theo with her elbow. “Pfft, yes way. I’ve seen it.”

  He nudged her back with a laugh. “I won’t believe it ‘til I’ve seen it.”

  Watching the sunlight stream through clear, unmarred windows for far too long, the two stood in front of the Graces and laughed like nothing was ever wrong—to reclaim a past that could not be remembered, to salvage any happiness that could be found in the present, to act like the na?ve, innocent children they wished they could be.

  * * *

  “Hey, Ty.”

  “Hm?”

  “Do you…do you remember when we were happy?”

  “…I do.”

  “How long ago was it?”

  “First year, in the forest. When we spent the winter together.”

  “Do you think…we were truly happy? Back then?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He would not meet her eyes, still fixed on the image of Anasot. “I mean…unburdened. By everything. The war, the truth…death. Back when fate had no plans for us, back when we were unshackled and free, back when…back when we were happy. Wholly, undeniably, happy.”

  “…It must have been a long time ago, when we were truly happy.”

  “It must have, right?”

  “It’s been too long.”

  “Do you think it counts?”

  “If we don’t live it now?” she asked softly.

  “Yeah.”

  “We can’t go back.”

  “Do you think it counts, even if we don’t live it now?”

  Silence.

  “Have we really spent enough years for a lifetime together if we don’t live it now?” he repeated.

  “There’s no going back anymore.”

  “Can you really call it enough? Can you really call yourself happy?”

  “…I have to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the only other option is to repeat this suffering over and over again, knowing that whatever we do, we’ll never return to those halcyon days.”