Alexios

  Malvatta is strangely quiet after midnight.

  There are no late-night carriages or even locals stumbling out of taverns. The silence leaves nowhere for my thoughts to hide. I move through the streets with the confidence of someone who’s walked through them before, with every step taking me closer to my mark.

  This is just another simple order. I remind myself that I’ve been incredibly loyal to her and that this is no different than previous contracts, but it feels like a lie.

  Keep him safe, I think to myself.

  Arun’s face flashes into my mind. I focus on the sound of his gasps in the library and the way he looked at me when I finally confessed my love, but I can still see the queen with her jeweled crown atop her dark hair while her eyes glowed like sunlight.

  I reach the target’s street, leaning against the archway as I watch the candlelight flicker through the window. I keep my hand on the dagger at my belt, knowing I should make this as clean as possible.

  Forcing the hesitation down, I straighten up and knock three times on the wooden door.

  The door opens shortly after and an older half-orc man answers. He’s barefoot while his silk robe hangs loosely enough to expose some of his chest. He tilts his head in confusion, but when I smile softly, the doubt is gone.

  “You’re late,” he says tiredly.

  “I’m worth the wait though,” I answer, stepping forward towards the entrance of his home.

  He accepts the invitation and steps aside, allowing me to walk further. The smell of spiced wine instantly seeps into my nose.

  The man leads me towards a study, talking about a shipment delay and even a neighbor’s complaint all while still letting his eyes move over my body. I let my dress robes hang open and when I touch his wrist as soon as he sits in an armchair, I can feel his pulse start to race.

  It’s almost too easy.

  As the light from the hearth falls over him, I lean down, lowering my voice to speak words in a tongue he could never understand.

  At first, he thinks it’s just some kind of act of seduction on my part, but then shadows begin twisting like smoke as they rise from the floorboards.

  They curl around the legs of the chair and up the man’s arms before he can even register what’s happening.

  “What in the hells…?” he starts, but the shadows grip him tighter, coiling around his chests as his eyes go wide.

  I reach for my dagger, looking down at the man being held down my magic. The shadows pulse twice in an attempt to steal more of the light from his eyes. Before they can do so, my blade runs cleanly across his neck.

  My mouth drops to his neck, drinking in the hot blood as it spills from the wound. Warm gurgles fall from his lips until eventually his body slackens and his head falls back against the chair.

  My shadows fall back into the floorboard and I step back, feeling my queen’s satisfaction in my mind, but then I hear the creak of the front door and two sets of boots.

  They’re moving closer, each footstep echoing loudly through the hallway. Immediately, I retreat to a shadowed corner of the room, but I know the hearth’s light is highlighting the body slumped in the chair.

  The first man steps into the doorway and his eyes are pulled to the corpse instantly. The second leans in, following his gaze.

  Leave none of them alive, Alexios. Kill. Now.

  I raise my hands and whisper the same spell before the shadows uncurl again, but the man in front flicks his wrist and my spell collapses inward.

  A counterspell.

  Sloppy. Fix it.

  My dagger is pulled back into my hand and I cross the space in a heartbeat, but my steel is met with spells. These men are trained and not just common street muscle. The second man lunges from the side and I’m forced back towards the center of the room, attempting to not get boxed in.

  Each spell strike comes quick as the first man tries driving me back while the second aims to flank me. I parry, slash and cast too, even catching one of them along the forearm.

  It’s only enough to draw a bit of blood, not slow him down.

  A blade narrowly misses my ribs, ripping the fabric of my robe. I crouch and drive forward, letting my shoulder lean as I slam into his chest, forcing him off balance just enough to take a breath, but the second man’s dagger is darting directly for my throat.

  I sidestep and drag the edge of my dagger in a clean cut across his stomach. Hot blood surges over my hand as his own dagger clatters to the floor. He collapses to his knees, hands clutching at the wound.

  The first man’s rage lends speed to his next strike, but I twist under his attach and drive my blade deep into his chest. He gasps harshly as I yank my dagger free. He staggers once before crumbling beside the other.

  Drink from them. Now.

  Both men are on the floor, barely breathing as their chests rise in shallow gasps of air. I kneel down beside the first man and place my mouth on his chest wound.

  The blood tastes absolutely foul, almost as if it’s gritty and spoiled.

  Messy. Absolutely messy. You have made a spectacle when you were not told to do so.

  Panic grips my heart immediately.

  “Did I fail you?” I gasp out in panic. “Please… please tell me I didn’t fail you.”

  Not yet, but you are walking the line. Get rid of this immediately. Look to your left. There is oil on the table. Use it.

  My eyes immediately fall to the bottle of oil and I force myself to move quickly, grabbing it before pouring it on the floor. I find another bottle in the living room and pour it from the entrance of the house to the hallway.

  I drag both bodies towards the far side of the study where the shadows seeped through the most. My hands are steady, but my breathing is far too quick and my eyes dart to the doorway every few seconds.

  The scent of blood is thick in the air and I can feel it clinging to my skin, my clothes and the back of my throat. My heartbeat refuses to slow down and every shadow feels like a warning of another man stepping through the doorway to see everything before I can make my escape.

  “I’m fixing it,” I whisper, but I have no idea if I’m answering her or trying to convince myself.

  I shed the top layer of my robe and throw it next to the bodies, leaving me in nothing but pants and a ripped cream-colored tunic. As I make my way back to the entrance of the house, my hand rises as a blast of fire shoots out from my palm and into the spots of oil.

  My first instinct as I make it out of the now inflamed house is to run, but I know that would immediately pull suspicion, so I walk as calmly as I can, desperate to keep breathing slowly, but my pulse hasn’t slowed at all.

  The side streets are cold and abandoned, but I keep my head down anyway. By the time the inn comes into view, I finally have a hold on my heartbeat again. I tell myself I’ll slip in, wash, change, sleep and the face Arun with a smile on my face as always.

  I step into my room and shut the door quietly behind me, but then I realize…

  She’s here.

  I turn and see her not in flesh but in that shimmer of shadow that gathers itself into her shape. This time, she doesn’t wear her jeweled crown, but her skin still gleams like polished bronze as her hair, black as silk, spills loosely down her shoulders and full breasts.

  I’m on my knees before I know it, begging for forgiveness even though I’m not sure I deserve it after what I’ve done.

  “Please… please… don’t punish him. Punish me, my love. I’ve wronged you, not him.”

  I can hardly catch my breath as tears fall in streams down my face.

  The queen says nothing. She only looks down at me pleading before stepping closer.

  “I’ll do better,” I say quickly. “Whatever you want. I’ll do it. Anything you ask of me, I promise.”

  “You already do,” she purrs, but there is absolutely no warmth in her voice. “Yet you faltered tonight. You made me doubt you. Do you know how rare that is?”

  My throat tightens and I wipe my tears.

  “It won’t happen again,” I plead desperately.

  She glides even closer and even though her form is flickering slightly, the look in her glowing eyes is incredibly real.

  “You will have your next task soon,” she answers. “You will complete it without question and without a single flaw. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I breathe out. Her disappointment gnaws at me like a hungry dog to a bone. “Let me… make it up to you, my queen.”

  Her eyes narrow down at me.

  “I could pleasure you,” I offer, standing quickly and stepping close enough to feel the heat radiating from her astral form. “Right here. Right now. Any way you wish. I’ll do anything for you.”

  For a heartbeat, she doesn’t say anything and I can’t tell if she’s just amused or if she’s trying to determine how deep my desperation actually goes.

  “You truly think your mouth… your body… your hands… can erase my doubt? Perhaps next time I’ll allow you that privilege when you have truly earned it.”

  She glides back as the shimmer begins to fade. The outline of her body begins breaking apart before vanishing completely, but I can still smell the sharp scent of myrhh.

  I can do nothing but weep with my fists clenched before eventually forcing myself to the sink. I can never let Arun see or know about any of this.

  --

  Trancing is practically impossible now.

  The sheets are cold against my skin, but I can still feel the hot pulse of blood in my mouth and how my queen’s voice dripped with satisfaction… and then disappointment.

  The more I try and fail, the longer my eyes stay glued to the ceiling. Before long, I hear the rising sound of commotion outside.

  I can hear the terrified screams of the townspeople just outside. The fire I started to erase my mistakes has fully engulfed the house now.

  This was supposed to be a controlled killing, but I’ve created a disaster. If I’ve failed her as I expect I have, I won’t be the one paying for it.

  Arun will be.

  The idea alone is enough to make my heart pound wildly as dread turns into desperation.

  I’ve had enough.

  I get up, dress quickly and start packing. The rustle of clothes being packed into my case feels like too much in the dead of the night, but at least it’s something to focus on besides the darkness in my mind and the screams outside.

  If I stay here, I’ll only replay tonight over and over again. At least if I go back home, I can see him and remind myself why I continue to do this shit in the first place.

  The streets are damp with rain and I can see some of the townspeople running towards the flame engulfed house, but my attention stays on leaving. To my gratefulness, the driver is already in place, but half asleep in his seat. I push him a bit more aggressively than I had intended, easily startling him as he blinks sleepily.

  He glances at the horizon then shrugs, accepting my fare.

  As the horses’ hooves move along the cobblestones, the wheels begin to turn quickly. I lean back against the seat, keeping my eyes on the dark sky of the road ahead.

  By late afternoon, I should be on the last stretch of road towards Blackwood and if the timing works, I might be there before Arun and Je Suis arrive.

  I desperately need to see him step out of that carriage.

  I need to know more than anything that he’s safe.

  Hours pass and when the driver turns onto the last bend towards the plantation, the tension in my shoulders returns heavier than ever.

  Finally, the gates of Blackwood Plantation are in view. As we arrive at the courtyard, I make a promise to myself to wait right here in this spot when they arrive. I don’t want to be sitting at my desk and pretending this trip was nothing.

  I want to see him right when he comes home to me.

  The driver offers to take my bag and case inside, but I gesture for him to leave immediately. I am in no mood to deal with anyone else besides my beloved Arun.

  Time goes by slowly and every breeze that whistles through the gate’s ironwork pulls my attention to it. Each sound of hoofbeats in the distance pulls me from my thoughts, but it’s usually only a field worker or one of the servants returning from the market in town.

  The faint sound of steady hoofbeats makes me look up again and this time, they’re coming from our road, rather than the trail to the market. I quickly push myself off the post, waiting for the first glimpse of the horses. Finally, I see them and then the dark wood of the carriage comes into view.

  As it comes closer, I can see Je Suis’s profile and Arun beside her. Even from all the way over here, I can see he’s beyond exhausted. Je Suis is talking with him as he’s slumped over onto her shoulder.

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  The carriage slows to a stop just in front of the courtyard. The driver hops down, opening the door with a creak.

  Arun steps out first and freezes as soon as his eyes spot me.

  He just… stares at me like I might not be real, but then his lips part and the tears come so quickly that they’re already spilling down his cheeks.

  “Arun?”

  I hear a sound that’s part gasp and part sob leave him and his face crumbles completely now. Je Suis’s is out in instant with one foot hitting ground sharply as she gathers her skirt in her fist. Her eyes dart wildly between Arun to me and back.

  Arun stumbles forward, his hands trembling at his sides as he tries to figure out whether to run directly to me or hold himself together.

  I’m running before I even realize it.

  “Arun…”

  What the fuck did you do to him?! What have you done?

  When he reaches me, he slams hard against my chest and I wrap my arms around him so tightly that I’m practically lifting him off his feet. Tears soak through my shirt as his petite body shakes.

  Tell me what you did to him now!

  “Arun, look at me.” I try to ease him back carefully and when I look down at him, his eyes are wet and raw from sobbing. “What did she do?!”

  Arun blinks up at me through his tears, confused.

  “Who… Je Suis…? Je Suis didn’t do anything.”

  He buries his head back into my chest and my stomach drops again. All I can do is bury him in kisses while keeping my grip tight around him, desperate to shield him from someone he doesn’t even know exists.

  Je Suis’s hand stays on Arun’s back, rubbing gently as her lips tighten in controlled fury.

  “Something happened, Alexios.”

  My jaw clenches as Arun’s tears keep soaking into my chest.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  She shakes her head slightly and I know it’s a silent warning for me not to ask here.

  If you touched him and this is because of you, I swear…

  But there’s no response from her. There’s no laughter.

  Nothing.

  I can only hear the sound of Arun’s gasps between ragged sobs. The driver shifts in his seat, keeping silent while Je Suis steps closer to me.

  “Let’s get him inside,” she whispers.

  I nod, still keeping Arun in my arms as Je Suis bows politely to the driver before gesturing for him to leave.

  I push the thought of the queen hurting him aside to focus only on getting him inside the house. As soon as we’re behind the closed doors of the manor, I will demand every detail Je Suis is holding back and when I have them…

  Someone will fucking pay.

  The moment the doors close behind us, Je Suis is guiding us towards my study. I keep Arun tucked against my body, but he keeps his head bowed. He hasn’t said a single word.

  Once we’re in the privacy of the study, I help him onto the couch in front of the hearth and he immediately curls into a ball, drawing his knees up as his hands twist into the fabric of his shirt.

  All I want to do right now is stay beside him and shield him from the rest of the world, but I look up at Je Suis.

  “Tell me… now.”

  She looks over sadly at Arun before answering.

  “I don’t know if we should talk about this in front of him,” she whispers as she begins to cry too.

  “I need to know,” I plead with her. “Now.”

  She shakes her head, swallowing hard.

  “After the meeting, he realized he left a folder in the conference room. I told him I’d wait outside, but after a while, I knew something was wrong. One of the council members was there… waiting for him.”

  I turn my eyes to Arun who stays curled up. His head dips further, but I crouch down again to see his face.

  “What happened, beloved?”

  His small hands twist up even further into his shirt and I start to think he won’t answer. When I look back up at Je Suis, I hear Arun breathe in sharply.

  “He… he wouldn’t let me leave. Said things about me… about you… about us.”

  “What kind of things?”

  Arun shakes his head quickly.

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters to me,” I tell him. “I’m here, my love.”

  His amber eyes are glassy with fresh tears as he finally looks at me.

  “They were filthy. No one should say what he said. He touched me, Alexios. He tried to…”

  Before he can finish the sentence, sobs wrack his body again and my hand moves to rest over his.

  “He will never touch you again, do you understand? I’ll see to it.”

  I brush my thumb over the back of his hand in slow strokes until his breathing evens out enough to where it doesn’t seem like he’s breaking apart in front of me.

  Then I look up at Je Suis, pure hatred in my eyes.

  “Do you know who it was?”

  She nods immediately.

  “Name,” I order out flatly.

  “Lord Brimsey,” she says quietly. “Senior member of Timbertown merchant guild. Clearly too confident that no one will ever call him out on his inappropriate behavior.”

  Arun flinches slightly so my hand tightens around his to let him know I’m not going anywhere.

  Je Suis folds her arms and I realize by the fiery look in her eyes tells me she already knows what I’m thinking… and she doesn’t intend to stop me.

  “He won’t try it again as long as I’m breathing, but I imagine you’ll want to take over here.”

  The anger burns hotter than the hells under my skin.

  “You’re safe here, Arun. We won’t let anyone hurt you, beloved.”

  My thoughts are already on the coward of a man called Brimsey. I don’t intend to wait long when it comes to punishment.

  I inhale slowly.

  “Je Suis,” I say, looking back over to her. “Will you stay the night? Stay here with us. He needs comfort tonight and I think it’s more than I can give him alone.”

  She nods without a single bit of hesitation.

  “Absolutely. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

  Arun’s eyes are still damp, keeping his shoulders tense so I shift onto the couch.

  “May I help you get cleaned up?” I ask quietly. “A bath, fresh clothes. You name it. Then we’ll take care of you for the rest of the day, if that’s alright with you.”

  His eyes drop down into his lap and he doesn’t answer, only nods slowly.

  I give his hand a final squeeze before rising from the couch and offer my hand back to him to help him up.

  “Come, my love. You’ve dealt with far too much. Let me take care of you now.”

  Je Suis gives a small bow, promising to be here when we come back. Then I lead him out of the study, whispering comforting words while thinking about the warm water. The rest of the day be damned.

  Nothing is more important right now than keeping him away from anything and anyone that might steal more from him.

  --

  As soon as the bathwater has been drawn by the servants, they are dismissed promptly. I don’t want anyone else in here that could disturb Arun’s peace.

  He stands just inside the door, keeping his eyes on the floor tiles instead of me. I move to the basin to test to water with my hand before adjusting the temperature slightly.

  When I turn back, he hasn’t moved.

  “Come to me,” I whisper, gesturing for him to take my hand so I can lead him to the warmth of the water. “You can sit. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  He nods and moves slowly. When he eventually sits, I kneel in front of him to help unfasten the buttons of his shirt. Even though my fingers work slowly, I can feel him tense up. My hands still instantly.

  “I apologize,” I say, immediately realizing that this is probably scaring him. “I won’t undress you if you don’t want me to.”

  “I do,” he whispers so quietly, I barely miss it.

  “I should have been there. If I’d walked you back myself…”

  “It’s not your fault,” he interrupts softly.

  I wonder if he actually believes that because I don’t. With his permission, my hands move again to help him undress.

  “I sent you into that meeting, Arun. I should have known there would be men there who wouldn’t see you for what you’re worth. I told myself Je Suis would be enough and she was but… she shouldn’t have had to be.”

  I place his clothes aside and as my hands return to his warm skin, I can feel small tremors in his muscles.

  “Alexios,” he says bluntly. “You can’t protect me from everything.”

  “I know,” I admit. “But I’ll try my best to do so.”

  When he slowly steps into the water, I follow him to edge of the tub and roll my sleeves up. As I take a wet washcloth, I run it gently across his shoulder and then down his back before cleaning his arms. He leans forward and I can feel those bits of tension easing up.

  We don’t speak to each other for the rest of the time, but only because there’s nothing I can say that will undo what happened.

  I failed him.

  I should have been there. This is my fault.

  My fingers work through the curly strands of his hair as I massage the soap in and rinse it away. By the time I’m done, his eyes are half-closed, breathing steady.

  “There you go, my beloved. All clean. It’s just you and me now.”

  I see a quick glance of relief in his face. For now, that’s all I can hope for.

  When the water eventually cools down, I help him step out and wrap him in a warm towel. He’s much quieter now, but I know the memories of that day are still clinging to him. I understand more than I’d like to.

  As I ease him into our bedroom, I open one of the lower drawers of our shared wardrobe and pull a loose linen shirt out. It’s one of my own and I know it will hang far too loose on him, but maybe this is the kind of comfort he needs tonight.

  “Do you want to wear something of mine?” I ask gently.

  He nods, softly smiling.

  “I’d like that.”

  I hand the shirt to him, watching as he pulls it carefully over his shoulders. I step in to help when the collar gets caught on his horns. Just as I suspected, it’s a few sizes too large and the sleeves are a little long, but seeing him in my clothes is always such a comfort to me.

  “I don’t want you alone tonight,” I say. “Since Je Suis is here, why don’t you come downstairs? We can sit by the fire and just… talk.”

  He looks away for a moment, probably debating whether he wants to retreat or give in.

  Eventually, he nods and takes my hand.

  We leave the bedroom together and the hallway feels much more like home when he’s beside me. As we walk downstairs, I can still see the candlelight from the study, where I know Je Suis is waiting her turn to keep him safe tonight.

  She’s standing near the bookshelf, wine glass in hand, and when she sees Arun, she gestures to the couch.

  I guide him gently before sitting down and pulling him into me. His head moves to rest against my chest as Je Suis grabs the fur blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it over us.

  She takes a seat in the armchair in front of my desk, watching us without intruding.

  I can’t stop myself from leaving little kisses on his horns, his temple, his cheekbones. As I do, I feel his small hands twist into my shirt.

  “My beloved… you’re safe,” I whisper in between my kisses.

  Arun shifts closer into me and I hold him tighter, resting my chin against one of his horns. I keep my hands moving through his hair and down his back.

  “Alexios isn’t the only one here who thinks the world of you,” Je Suis says, leaning forward in her chair to rest her elbows on her knees.

  Arun lifts his head to peek at her.

  “I’m not him,” she continues. “I can’t hold you the way he can, but I’d go to any length to keep you just as safe. You’ve got both of us in your corner.”

  I kiss the tip of Arun’s horns.

  “See? You have an absolute wildfire on your side and that wildfire’s name… is Je Suis.”

  His eyes are glistening with tears again, but I see the smallest hint of a smile.

  I’ll take it.

  Je Suis laughs softly and sits back again while I hold Arun close. We want nothing more right now than for this world to feel a little smaller and much safer.

  Eventually, his breathing evens out, keeping his head rested against my chest and one hand is still wrapped in my shirt.

  Even in sleep, he refuses to let go.

  I tuck the blanket higher around his shoulders, trying my best to adjust my hold on him so that I don’t wake him.

  “This is my fault, isn’t it?” I asked, ashamed.

  “You didn’t know,” Je Suis cuts in. “There was no way you could have known what that bastard was going to do.”

  I sigh, brushing a thumb over Arun’s horn.

  “It’s my job to protect him. Brimsey shouldn’t have even gotten the chance. I failed Arun.”

  “You didn’t fail him. You gave him a chance to stand on his own. Brimsey crossed a line and I was there to stop it.”

  I scoff, not convinced at all by her words.

  “I should have been there,” I whisper, disappointed.

  “Alexios, you can’t keep him in some cage. You can only make sure that if something bad happens, he’s not alone. Tonight, he isn’t and that’s because of you.”

  “Because of us,” I correct her. “Thank you. I owe you my life.”

  Je Suis huffs.

  “Arun is your life, my dear.”

  “I just don’t want him to feel scared like this again,” I admit.

  Even asleep, Arun still looks timid. The thought I wasn’t there when he needed me most will stay with me forever.

  Arun stirs slightly in his sleep, thankfully not waking up.

  And that’s when I feel her.

  You are quite busy, hmm? Pouring all of your attention into your “beloved” and letting your little trip become far more interesting than you planned.

  My arms tighten frantically around Arun before I can even think.

  You did this, I whisper to the queen.

  Ah, you are giving me far too much credit here. You know men are capable of cruelty without my hand guiding them.

  You think I believe that?

  If I wanted him broken, poor Alexios, I would not need to send a disgustingly foul cretin to do it.

  Even though she’s denying it, every instinct in my body is telling me she’s lying or worse…

  She took some pleasure in what happened.

  If you ever touch him…

  You will what, Alexios? Now quiet down. Your place is to serve me, not threaten. Unless you have simply forgotten who gave you everything you have?

  I look down at my sweet Arun. Whether she did it or not, I promise myself that I’ll never let her near him. The fear I saw in Arun’s face when he stepped out of the carriage… it’s enough to make me snap.

  Fuck you. We’re done here. You will never touch him.

  Oh, you are too adorable when you think you can defy me.

  I refuse to give into her anymore tonight. If I keep talking to her, I won’t be able to stop. My arms stay firmly around Arun and I focus on the warmth of his body instead.

  He’s here in my arms… and he’s breathing.

  She can punish me all she wants. I’ll gladly take it.

  But she will never have him.

  --

  Sometime after the fire dies completely, I begin to trance. I know Arun is still in my arms, but when I open my eyes, I’m not in my study anymore.

  I’m laying in an endless stone hallway, lit by pale yellow torches.

  The queen steps out from the shadows and this time, she wears gold rings and chains draping across her. Her ancient eyes lock onto mine.

  “You are trancing so deeply tonight,” she purrs. “I though I would bring my message to you directly since you believe you can defy me.”

  I force myself to stand, refusing to let her see me flinch.

  “What do you want?” I ask sternly.

  Her smile is sharp like a poisoned blade at my neck.

  “A man in Iseris. You will lead him to his death. He has refused my influence for too long. Make an example out of him.”

  “I’m not doing this anymore.”

  My words are defiant and completely true.

  The glare in her eyes doesn’t change, but the fire from the torches burns even higher, turning into beating hot blue flames.

  “Yes… you will.”

  I shake my head.

  “Not like this. I can’t do this.”

  The queen steps closer.

  “You will do as I say. Prove to me where your loyalty lies.”

  I growl in frustration, my fingers digging tightly into my hair at the roots.

  “I fucking have! Time and time again, I have proved my loyalty to you!”

  Before I can yell at her again, the dark shadows behind her shift. It twists into an image so terrifying that it steals the breath from my lungs.

  It’s Arun.

  My beloved. My everything.

  He’s on the floor with his hands bound behind him, face streaked with bloody tears.

  His mouth is open in a silent scream, but I know it’s a sound that would leave his throat damaged.

  A strangled sound rips from my mouth as I step forward, but my feet won’t move past an invisible barrier.

  “STOP IT! STOP IT NOW, DAMN YOU!”

  Violent tears stream down my face, vocal cords burning, and the queen tilts her head, mocking me like she is even going to consider my screams.

  “This is not real… not yet. But it could be. I could make it so. One thought and your lovely tiefling would burn.”

  My heart hammers in my ears and I can’t drag my eyes away from the twisted image and how his body shakes desperately.

  “Please… please. You don’t need to do this.”

  “Oh, I believe I do. You think you are safe from me?”

  The shadows shift into an image of Arun’s screams turning into violent sobs. His head drops as if he’s given up and my nails bite so sharply into my palms that it draws blood.

  “Do as I say,” she commands, gold jewelry clanking sharply as she steps aside to reveal the full vision of Arun. “Refuse… and this will be your future.”

  I jolt awake with a sharp gasp, heart slamming against my ribs like it’s trying to escape me. To my gratefulness, reality rushes in, but a part of me can still see that vision of Arun in unbearable pain.

  The study is dark now, but a sliver of moonlight falls in through the window. Arun is still here and so is Je Suis, who’s fallen asleep in the armchair, another fur blanket wrapped around her.

  Arun is still wrapped up safely in my arms, deep in sleep.

  He’s safe.

  I press my hand to his cheeks just to feel the truth that he’s really here with me. I lower my head and kiss each horn twice.

  “I’ve got you,” I whisper softly. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Ever.”

  Even as I hold him though, her visions are a cruel reminder that my defiance has a price.

  I refuse to fall back into my trance, keeping watch until I see the slightest sliver of sun begin to seep into the room.

  --

  In the dining hall, the servants have already laid out a light breakfast of fresh sourdough bread, rich cheeses and a small bowl of berries. Arun sits beside me, still wrapped up in my shirt from last night, long sleeves almost falling into the food on his plate.

  I pour his tea for him before taking my own, keeping my other arm resting against the back of his chair so I can close the space in an instant if I need to.

  Je Suis sits across from us, eyes straying to Arun more often than not. She’s ready to cover any vulnerable points if needed too.

  Arun notices quickly.

  “What?” he asks her, shyly.

  She shakes her head, smiling politely.

  “Just making sure you’re still okay, honey.”

  He’s mostly relaxed this morning, but every now and then I see the way his fingers tighten around the handle of his teacup. I glance over at Je Suis and realize she’s also noticed.

  It appears she’s guarding him the same way I am. Both of us are watching for the smallest sign of danger or change. A part of me is grateful for it, but the other part begins to wonder what’s put her on alert this morning.

  It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m not letting him leave my side today.

  --

  By the afternoon, the sunlight is blazing through the windows of the manor. Je Suis’s carriage driver waits just outside, door open and waiting for her arrival.

  Although Je Suis’s deep green peacoat is buttoned and her leather gloves are on, she hasn’t moved towards the door just yet. Her eyes stay on Arun as he speaks quietly to one of the younger servants.

  When I step closer, she glances at me briefly, but her eyes move right back over to him.

  “I know, I know. I should be on the road by now.”

  “Are you still on edge about what happened to him…?” I ask, trying to keep my voice down so Arun doesn’t have to hear.

  She sighs softly and finally looks up at me.

  “There are times when trouble follows people home,” she says.

  The way she says that…

  Does she know something?

  If so...

  How much does she know and why is she holding it back?

  “You don’t have to leave yet,” I offer.

  She shakes her head no.

  “If I stay, I’ll keep hovering over him like some paranoid parent. I think he just wants to feel normal again.”

  “Normal,” I repeat her word back to her.

  Arun laughs quietly at something the servant says and although his smile is small, it’s there and real.

  “You’ll keep a close watch?”

  “Always.”

  Je Suis breathes in through her nose and out through her mouth before nodding quickly. As she turns to the front door, I can still feel her attention on Arun.

  --

  By nightfall, the halls of Blackwood Manor are quiet. I’ve asked the servants to retire earlier for the night. I don’t want them moving in and out of rooms while Arun rests.

  He’s stretched out beside me on our bed, clearly warm and comfortable, but his breathing is still a bit lighter than usual.

  I keep my voice low as I read from an old book that I pulled from my study. I haven’t touched this book of fables in years, but I knew he’d love it. Every so often, his amber eyes fall shut, but he blinks quickly to watch me again.

  When I pause to turn the page, he curls up closer to me. I look down and see a small smile on his full lips.

  “Are you relaxed, my love?” I ask quietly.

  “Mm-hmm,” he answers sleepily, keeping his eyes shut this time.

  I keep reading, my attention going back and forth between the words and the rhythm of his heartbeat. If this is what it takes to make him feel safe again, I’ll read every book in my study to him.

  I’ll read until my voice gives out.