I woke up feeling damp.
And sticky.
And deeply, spiritually, cosmically betrayed.
For several long seconds, I lay there in silence, staring up at a ceiling I couldn’t properly see. My vision was still running on what I could only describe as “budget settings,” but my other senses were fully operational.
Warmth beneath me.
Moisture.
A slow, creeping awareness that I had committed biological treason against myself.
…Yeah.
This was not a dream.
I had really reincarnated.
Somewhere in the heavens, a god was probably sipping celestial tea, watching my suffering unfold like premium entertainment.
You could have at least given me a tutorial skip option.
I remembered the offer clearly.
“Would you like to be reborn in another world?”
Magic.
Adventure.
Power.
A system.
I had accepted so fast that I probably didn’t even let the poor deity finish the sentence.
My previous life consisted of office deadlines, ergonomic chairs that weren’t actually ergonomic, and arguing with customer support bots that insisted I “restart the device.”
A second chance in a fantasy world?
Of course, I said yes.
What I did not realize—
What was suspiciously absent from the promotional brochure—
—were diapers.
No one mentioned diapers.
No one mentioned that I would start at Level 0: Helpless Potato Edition.
If reincarnation came with patch notes, they’d look like this:
Version 2.0 – New World Update
– Added Magic System
– Added Multiple Elemental Affinities
– Removed Bladder Control
– Reduced Dignity to 0
This feels like a scam.
I attempted to move my arm.
It lifted approximately half a centimeter before flopping back down like overcooked noodles.
Impressive.
Truly, I am a powerhouse.
Maybe… maybe I should have chosen the other option the god offered.
What was it again?
Reincarnate as a dragon?
Or was that just my imagination adding DLC content?
No.
No regrets.
I chose magic.
Magic is superior.
Right.
Focus.
The god mentioned there was a system in this world.
Time to confirm.
“Status!”
Ding!
A translucent panel appeared before my eyes, crisp and clear in a way the physical world refused to be.
Name: Sapphire Rosabelle Astley
Gender: Female
Age: 2 days
HP: 100%
Strength: 0.1
Intelligence: 25
Agility: 0.1
Mana: 1000
Affinity:
Light Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Dark Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Ice Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Lightning Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Fire Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Water Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Earth Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Wind Magic Lv.10 (MAX)
Void Law 1%
Skills: Perfect Language, Appraisal, Inventory, Void Cultivation
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…
…
…
Damn!!
I’m overpowered!
Every element?!
MAXED?!
Mana 1000 at TWO DAYS OLD?!
Some future villain just felt a chill and doesn’t know why.
This is absurd.
This is unfair.
This is exactly what I wanted.
I grinned internally—
Then my eyes drifted upward.
Gender: Female.
…
…
…
I blinked.
Still female.
I mentally refreshed the panel.
Still female.
I scrolled down.
Still female.
WHAT.
Excuse me? I want to file a complaint.
Was choosing gender even an option?!
Why was that not highlighted in bold?!
I very clearly remember saying I wanted to be handsome in my next life!
Tall. Cool. Slightly mysterious. The kind of guy who leans against a wall and somehow has wind blowing dramatically through his hair indoors.
That is not something you say when you intend to become a woman.
Other transmigrators get harems full of beautiful elves and cat girls.
Meanwhile, I—
Am I going to end up being pressed under some overly muscular knight with heroic cheekbones?!
The mental image attacked me viciously.
My tiny body reacted before my pride could recover.
“Gyaaa—Ogyaa! Aaaah!”
No no no don’t cry don’t cry—
“Oh my! What have we got here?”
A gentle, melodic voice drifted toward me.
Footsteps.
The rustle of expensive fabric.
Then warmth.
I was lifted.
Even with my blurry baby vision, I could see long golden hair cascading down like liquid sunlight and a beautiful face leaning over me with pure concern.
She checked my diaper.
Her expression softened into guilt.
“Oh dear, Saphy, mommy’s so sorry. I didn’t realize you were wet. You must’ve been so uncomfortable.”
Please stop calling yourself mommy like that. I used to pay taxes.
She lay me down gently and began changing me with the efficiency of someone who had mastered this routine.
Fresh diaper.
Soft cloth.
Soap scent.
Dignity? Gone.
I attempted to say thank you.
“Gu… bu…”
“Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart.”
…
How did she understand that?
Was that actual communication?
Or do all baby noises automatically translate to “I love you, mother”?
Mothers are overpowered. Nerf required.
She smiled at me.
And I froze.
Wait.
She’s… extremely pretty.
Is this my mother?
Am I nobility?
Sapphire Rosabelle Astley.
That is not a name you give someone who farms turnips.
Unless turnips are very prestigious here.
“Looks like it’s almost bath time.”
Bath time?
Before I could mentally object—
Clothes gone.
Again.
I used to have personal boundaries. Now I am a decorative dumpling.
She carried me to a small wooden tub. Steam curled gently upward. The water shimmered, lightly scented with flowers.
I was lowered slowly into the warmth.
And—
Oh.
Oh.
That feels illegal.
The warmth wrapped around me like the embrace of a benevolent goddess of comfort. My earlier outrage evaporated instantly.
Her hands moved gently, washing me with careful motions, as though I were fragile crystal instead of a former adult man experiencing existential confusion.
There was no impatience.
No irritation.
Just quiet affection.
For a brief moment, my inner monologue softened.
Okay… maybe this isn’t the worst outcome.
After drying me with a fluffy towel, she dressed me in fresh clothes and cradled me close.
“You must be hungry after sleeping so long,” she murmured. “It’s time for your milk.”
Ah.
The ultimate baby quest.
I will not describe it.
Some boundaries must remain.
Just know that my pride resigned and submitted a formal letter of departure.
And then—
I fell asleep mid-feeding.
This body has the stamina of a phone at 3%.
When I woke again, I felt groggy.
But dry.
Progress.
My vision was slightly better now. Shapes had edges. Colors were less abstract blobs and more intentional blobs.
I reopened my status panel.
Still female.
I stared at it.
Long.
Hard.
Sigh.
Fine. If I must be female, then I shall be the most overpowered female this world has ever seen.
Let’s review.
Mana: 1000.
All elemental affinities: MAX.
That is absurd.
That is main-character-without-plot-armor levels of broken.
Now, skills.
Perfect Language.
Allows me to understand all spoken languages.
Makes sense. I understood everything from birth. And they are definitely not speaking Japanese, English, or Mandarin.
This is not Earth.
Good.
No rent.
Appraisal.
The iconic isekai skill.
“Appraisal!”
…
Nothing.
Right.
I can barely see.
What exactly am I appraising?
The concept of air?
Still disappointing.
Focusing harder, more details appeared.
Appraisal (Details): Allows the user to see detailed information about any object. Mana Cost: 20.
Standard.
Now—
Inventory.
When I focused on it, a vast dark space unfolded within my mind. Silent. Still. Endless.
A private pocket dimension.
A tiny plus sign blinked next to it.
I concentrated.
It activated.
Inventory: An independent space that can store any non-living object. Time does not flow inside. To store an object, the user must physically touch it. Mana Cost: 0.
Time does not flow.
Zero mana cost.
This is criminally overpowered.
I adore it.
Unfortunately, I cannot currently touch anything with deliberate intent.
I can’t even control my own fingers.
It’s like giving a legendary sword to a potato.
Speaking of broken—
What does max affinity actually mean?
I focused on Light Magic.
Light Magic Lv.10 (MAX): The user can freely control light mana particles without limitation. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Dark Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control dark mana particles without limitation. Allows manipulation of shadows, curses, decay, and concealment. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Fire Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control fire mana particles without limitation. Allows generation, shaping, and temperature manipulation of flames. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Water Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control water mana particles without limitation. Allows manipulation of liquids, moisture, and fluid pressure. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Earth Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control Earth mana particles without limitation. Allows manipulation of soil, stone, minerals, and structural density. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Wind Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control wind mana particles without limitation. Allows manipulation of air currents, pressure, and atmospheric flow. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Ice Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control ice mana particles without limitation. Allows freezing, temperature reduction, and crystalline formation. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Lightning Magic Lv.10 (MAX):
The user can freely control lightning mana particles without limitation. Allows generation and direction of electrical discharge and high-speed energy flow. Mana cost depends on spell complexity.
Without limitation?
Excuse me?
Does that mean lasers?
Mini suns?
Flashbang mode?
I need to test this eventually.
Then—
Void Law 1%.
I focused.
[Cannot be viewed.]
…
??_??
Why even show it then?
It’s like unlocking a game achievement that just says “???”.
Fine.
Last skill.
Void Cultivation.
Please don’t say “cannot be viewed.”
Void Cultivation: Gathers pure aether from the world to increase the user’s understanding of Void Law. Passively enhances mana reserves without bodily strain.
Oh.
That’s outrageous.
Passive mana growth?
No strain?
So I can literally nap my way to godhood?
Finally.
A system that respects my current physical laziness.
Very well.
I activated Void Cultivation.
Immediately, something shifted.
The air felt thicker, yet softer. Like invisible threads were drifting toward me from every direction.
Warmth seeped into my tiny body.
Not hot.
Not overwhelming.
Just comforting.
It flowed through me gently, like a quiet current beneath still water.
My mana stirred.
Expanded.
Settled.
No pain.
No strain.
Just steady growth.
This is cheating.
I love it.
If this keeps up, by the time I can walk, I might accidentally vaporize furniture by sneezing.
My eyelids grew heavy.
The warmth wrapped around me like a cocoon.
For all my complaints—
For all my shattered expectations of being a handsome guy—
For all the diaper-based humiliation—
In this quiet moment, wrapped in warmth, safe, with a loving mother nearby—
I felt…
Content.
Fine. I accept this patch update.
Maybe being Sapphire Rosabelle Astley won’t be so bad.
Maybe I’ll redefine what “handsome” means.
Maybe I’ll build a reverse harem out of sheer spite.
Yes.
New objective acquired.
But first—
Level up.
Grow stronger.
Master magic.
And, ideally—
Unlock bladder control.
With that noble ambition in mind—
I drifted peacefully back to sleep.
