Walking into the hospital was making her feel some kind of way that no word could simply explain.

  This place was only supposed to be her poison, not her medicine.

  This place wasn’t supposed to be home; this place held the reason she still had to exist.

  No matter how often she told herself, it didn’t change that every time she stepped into this place, the constant feeling of anxiety was exchanged with safety.

  It made her imagine things she shouldn’t.

  It was like a sick addiction. She knew she should keep away.

  This place wasn’t her salvation; it wasn’t the sanctuary; it couldn’t protect her.

  It was a place that only gave her the momentary illusion but nothing more.

  She hated that she couldn’t stop her heart from beating faster, her hands clamping, and her mind whispering forbidden sentences when it came to the hospital.

  Yet she couldn’t help it.

  She watched as it rooted itself deeper into her heart while her senses screamed at her to open her damned eyes and see what she was letting happen.

  It was becom— , no it had had become one of the only indulgences she still had.

  Raven swallowed down a bile of sour spit.

  —————————————

  Finally, after checking in and getting ready to start to work, Raven walked towards the psych ward for teenagers.

  Swift scents of disinfectant and clean forest mingled in the air that surrounded the whole hospital.

  The ward was on the third floor of the four-story building.

  On the first floor was the entrance and ER. On the second was the children’s psych ward. On the fourth floor was the cafeteria and gym.

  It was her request to work on the third floor, which made it easier to watch over her.

  At the reception, she asked for the patients that were on her duty today and which nurse would supervise her.

  She got, as an answer, a bright welcome and a chart with all the information she needed.

  Despite keeping her interactions with the staff minimal, as she could, they were actually on quite good terms.

  Surprisingly, as the world seemed to actually hate her.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  Maybe it was because of the nature of the psych ward. Maybe they just couldn’t be bothered enough.

  Whatever it was, she would be forever thankful, ending the interaction with a polite smile.

  Without looking at the patient list, she already knew who would be her first and last patient of the day.

  As she walked down the familiar path leading to her room, memories started flooding into her. These memories always left a bitter taste on her tongue.

  They were never the same. It was like a flashback to episodes before the main story began.

  Sometimes she was happy in them, and sometimes she wasn’t.

  But one thing was always the same: a girl just her age, looking just like her Corbin copy, dressed up like Barbie, taking up a huge presence like light was emanating from her.

  The key factor here wasn’t just her huge impact but the fact she never aged more than seventeen.

  But then again, how could she? After all, after seventeen, that girl no longer existed as she was.

  As Raven opened up the door, the memories left her like they were fleeing what was inside.

  Perhaps they did. She for sure did from time to time.

  Inside the room, she didn’t need to look around for long to find the girl that looked just like her, playing with dolls like she had no care in the world. And who knows, maybe she didn’t.

  The noises startled the playing girl. She looked up and met Raven’s conflicted eyes, a mix of affection and disdain.

  The big room was filled with all of the colors the rainbow had to offer. From the many toys to the wallpaper, nothing was left untouched.

  The room had the lingering mist of candy and flowers.

  The girl stood up abruptly and ran towards her with a speed that left Raven no time to react to the coming ambush.

  It resulted in her falling on her back while the girl was on top of her, sitting on her stomach.

  Raven let out a strangled sound that was a mix of a sigh and a laugh.

  Loud giggling followed right after.

  “Raveeee, Raveee, you are back. I missed you sooooo much. You should have visited me more often.”

  Raven’s eyes, which had been conflicted before, settled into a warm, affectionate look. Her whole demeanor changed.

  “Lily, I told you not to run up to me like this; you will get hurt. As for why I wasn’t here, you know how busy I get. You know little Lily—”

  Her voice was soft as a feather while telling her.

  “But — but — still, Rave.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

  The behavior of the girl resembled more that of a child than an eighteen-year-old teenager.

  “Lily, stop. Okay, I am sorry. Okay, pretty princess, don’t cry.”

  Raven rubbed the back of the girl in a familiar pattern, feeling the muscles underneath her hand melting into her.

  “Why don’t we have a tea party before I have to leave, okay?”

  Lily lit up and grabbed at that suggestion—Raven’s hand—and pulled her towards the children’s tea table, making it seem she forgot her former dilemma.

  After a long tea party filled with lots of laughter and playing, Raven set the girl to bed, kissing her forehead while wishing her good night.

  She left the sleeping girl’s room and made her way to check up on all the other patients.

  She knew she would meet her supervisor at her next patient, as she was only allowed to be alone for such a long period because it was Lily.

  After a few hours, she was at her lunch break, eating the food her coworker—friend—made.

  If she made her interaction close to nonexistent, she somehow made two friends, if she could call them that.

  As she was eating her last spoon of rice, her pager started pinging, signaling there was a problem with a patient. They needed her help.

  With no regard toward her things, she started running towards the room. She saw which room number it was—it was Lily’s.

  Her heart was beating in overdrive. Her skin felt sticky.

  Raven’s thoughts sent her spiraling.

  ‘What if something had happened to her? What if she was badly injured? What if she lost her? ’

  By the time Raven was at the room door, she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Her throat was dry. Her limbs shook. The air seemed to have vanished.

  Her supervisor and friend came just in time to stop her from barging into the room in that condition.

  “Stop, Rave, she is okay. A newbie accidentally walked into her room and woke her up. In an anxious state, Lily pushed the emergency button as she didn’t know the worker. It was an accident.” Her voice was gentle and steady.

  As her friend stood before her, she drew her into a hug and said quietly after she shooed everyone away:

  “Your sister is fine; calm down, hun. You will be fine. So how about we go to the cafeteria? I get you a cake, and we get some time to chill before you go in and scare her again?”

  Exhaling faintly, Raven’s body tense in her arms.

  “I think she had enough action today, okay?”

  Letting Raven go as she noticed Raven wasn’t recuperating from the hug as usual:

  “Thanks, Rash, but I—” Raven was trying to answer before Rashta interrupted her.

  “No, but lady, you will come with me. That old, grumpy doctor will survive without our help, okay, hun?”

  Raven wanted to protest but got silenced by the stern look of head nurse Rashta Kapoor and just nodded reluctantly.

  The nurse didn’t mind her attitude and just grabbed her on her way to the cafeteria, saying:

  “Stop looking like you want to murder me. You can check up on her before you go home like always.”

  Her response was just a resigned sigh. Her face relaxed, and her eyes softened.

  A little surprise awaits… I’ve added something extra today, but what it is exactly… well, that’s for you to discover.

  See you in the next regular chapter next Sunday!

  Little teaser:

  “Raven wanted to vanish under Adrien’s unwelcome light, as he tried to illuminate her cloaked shadows.”