Ulduk Penney was having a bad day, and not because he couldn't remember his name. Names come and go; a new one is easy to invent. At the moment, ‘Lemelett’ had a nice ring to it, though 'Zappo' came in a close second.

  Neither did he mind the fact that he had no idea where he lived, what he did for a living, or whether he had a horde of gold stashed away in a secret cave, though any of those, especially the latter, would have been very useful information. No, what bothered Ulduk was that one minute, he’d been talking to an amicable cabinet maker about trees and nations and other such interesting subjects, and the next he’d been scooped up by two strange looking men and carried into the jungle.

  They'd tied a rag around his mouth to stifle his cries for help, and carried him kicking and struggling through the dense underbrush, vines snapping at his face. Now, he was bound to a tree in the middle of the jungle while the two strangers chattered to each other in a foreign tongue. Ulduk was perplexed to see that they were talking to a small black box. Worse, the black box seemed to be talking back.

  Ulduk closed his eyes and tried to ignore the strange conversation. He had a minute of peace before one of the men shook him, bringing him back to the inconveniences of reality. Is this what my life was like? No wonder I tried to forget it…

  “You. What is your name?” Ulduk was surprised to hear the stranger address him in his own language.

  “Lemelett. Let me go... you have no right to hold me here.”

  The stranger grinned, revealing shining teeth far too perfect for the African lowlands. “Now, Lemelett, we would love to let you go. Your personal satisfaction is our greatest concern. Unfortunately, we need to ask you a few questions. You answer them, and then we will free you. Sound reasonable?”

  Ulduk frowned. “That sounds crummy.”

  “I’m glad we are on the same page. Now Mr. Lemelett, what do you know about Atakala?”

  “Um… I’m in it. It’s in Africa. Can I go now? You're not cannibals are you?”

  “No, Lemelett. We are your friends. You’re doing very well, but you must answer some more questions. Now… have you ever heard of the Great One?”

  “Umm… no. Have you?”

  “Are you certain? Think, Lemelett. The Great One. Or, Umanion, he may be called. You have never heard this name? Not even in passing?”

  “Who would name themselves Umanion? Sounds like a terrible name.”

  The strangers looked at each other and exchanged a few sentences in their native language. The next thing Ulduk knew, they were holding a white pill in front of his mouth. “Swallow this.”

  Ulduk wrinkled his nose. “No way.” Curious, he added, “What is it?”

  “It’s a little something we call a ‘truth drug.’ It ensures that you aren’t keeping secrets from us.”

  Ulduk frowned. ”I’m not eating thaaall grrrgg mmmblargh.”

  A white pill was stuffed into his mouth.

  “Swallow, or we leave you for the lions.” The stranger cinched the rope tighter around Ulduk's waist. “They love playing with string.”

  Ulduk swallowed, trying to ease his aching stomach.

  “That’s better. Now, have you ever heard of the Great One?”

  “No.”

  The strangers looked quizzically at each other. “Are you a resident of Atakala?”

  “I'm not certain,” replied Ulduk. “I suppose I am.”

  “We’re getting nowhere,” muttered Odatheus. He addressed Ulduk: “Have you heard of any stones with writing on them? Or perhaps, scrolls? Does your country have libraries of any sort?”

  Ulduk frowned. “What are you talking about? What's a library?”

  Ivan took over. “This land… how patriotic do you feel about it? What are your opinions of your army? Do you even have an army?”

  “I guess there's an army. That hut you dragged me away from was owned by an army technician.”

  “A technician, eh? What sort of things does he do?”

  “I believe he gave gifts to enemies. Cupboards, mostly. Apparently, they explode.”

  The strangers looked at each other. “That’s nothing new,” Ivan mumbled. “They tried that in Troy.”

  “Think carefully, Lemelett. Would you say Atakala’s technology is better than that of your neighbors?”

  “What's technology?”

  “You know, are your spears better than those of your enemies? Do your huts last longer than those of other tribes? Do you have road systems, plumbing, any new inventions that have changed your life?”

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  Ulduk thought for a moment. So far all he'd seen was a swamp, a jungle, and Joao. And Joao had done a terrible job protecting him from these weirdos.

  “I don't know what you're looking for, but you're not going to find it here. If you want technology, why don’t you go to Rome?” he retorted. It annoyed Ulduk that he remembered the names of exotic places like Rome, Ethiopia, and Arabia, but remembered nothing of his own land.

  “Here.” Ivan handed Ulduk a worn piece of paper with a drawing on it. It showed a simple firearm–a long barrel, trigger, and cute little bullet flying from the end. “What does this look like?”

  Ulduk studied it. “That definitely looks like an oar. Except, what’s that thing coming out the side?”

  Odatheus shook his head. “What about wealth? Is Atakala richer than the surrounding nations? Any stores of gold we should know about?”

  Ulduk shrugged. “I wish. I could use some money. If we're richer than our neighbors, no one’s told me.”

  “Do you know anything at all about Atakala?”

  “No,” he replied. “I think it’s just a stupid name.”

  The foreigners sighed. They spoke with each other for a short while, as well as to the black box on the ground. Finally, Ivan looked at Ulduk with a puzzled expression. “Well, we’re lettin’ you go. Eat this, and we’ll get you out of that knot.” He handed Ulduk another white pill. Ulduk eyed it with suspicion. The last one tasted like sugar, and had seemed pretty useless. I don’t think it did a thing, he thought. What strange people.

  “If it means you'll let me go…” he popped the pill into his mouth. The world began to swim before him. “Hey look! You’re floating!” Ulduk looked at the foreigners, laughing. “The trees are turning lellow! I like lellow! It is not amarelo!”

  He slumped forward, his waist still lashed to the tree. A sound of beating drums overwhelmed him and everything went black.

  Ivan crossed his arms as Odatheus loosed Ulduk's bonds. The African dropped to the ground like an enervate sack of potatoes. “You sure it's okay to just leave him here?”

  “Yeah, he'll be fine. He'll wake up in a few minutes... won't remember a thing. He'll think he just fell asleep during a hike through the jungle.”

  “I don't know... he didn't seem all there. I almost feel sorry for the guy.”

  “Come on; let's get away from here before he wakes up. I don't want to have to drug him a third time.”

  The two picked up their radio and rope, and made their way north through the dense growth endemic to the African jungle. “I'm baffled, Odatheus. We flew halfway across the universe for this? This place is more backwards than Pluto. Send me to Egypt or China any day... but a land where the people think firearms are oars?”

  “Yeah, someone in Mission Planning’s going to get sacked. So much for their concerns... just wild rumors. This place is more harmless than a squirrel.”

  “Still, we must take care that we're not seen. Even squirrels get mad if you disturb their nest. Here, let’s hide in this grove.” Ivan motioned to a thick clump of bushes nestled beside a narrow creek. The two forced their way into the dense brush and made themselves comfortable.

  Odatheus fiddled with the dials on the black com-link. “Time to see if they found anyone to rescue us.”

  “Quiet, now.” Ivan looked around nervously. “This creek probably gets a good deal of traffic.”

  “Ack, stop worrying. There's no one around here... we're miles from the nearest village. And that guy with the funny necklace will run back the way he came.”

  The small radio crackled to life with a static-filled voice. “At last; where have you two been? Have you completed the interview?”

  “Yes, Sir. We met two locals, and gave one a thorough interview. We also saw quite a bit of jungle and wilderness. There's nothing here worth pursuing. We’d fly around and get more data, but of course our ship is, um, well you know.” Ivan was embarrassed. It was he who’d been responsible for landing the x-craft, and he still couldn't figure out how he managed to steer it right into a cliff. “As best we could ascertain, the locals have indeed established a nation which they refer to as Atakala. However, its defenses are typical, structure is minimal, and morale is low. Certainly nothing to worry about. We took some overhead scans as we flew in that can back up our ground observations.”

  The voice snapped back. “Did your specimen exhibit any advanced or unique intelligence? Any unusual knowledge or new technology?”

  “None at all. If anything, he knew less than I expected. And he was staring at our radio like it was witchcraft, even with the truth drug. But he was definitely a local.”

  “Yeah,” agreed Ivan, “his language was perfect. Clearly an Atakalan, yet he bore no more allegiance to ‘Atakala’ than ‘Africa’ or his ‘tribe.’ We beamed up the conversation. You’ll note he described the weapons their army is using… same tricks as hundreds of years ago… sending exploding gifts to the enemy and such. They’ve probably got a few Trojan horses hidden somewhere. But firearms? Dynamite? Not a chance.”

  “Can you get more subjects? We reviewed your tape, and your assessment of the local is correct, but it contradicts data from other sources. You are certain he took the truth pill?”

  “No doubt,” said Odatheus. “He clearly had nothing to hide. As to more subjects, I don't know what good it would do…”

  Ivan interrupted, “We already had to abandon the x-craft to avoid detection, and I'm worried that further inquiries would jeopardize our safety. Perhaps we have the wrong land? I think we’ve learned all we can here. If anyone's on track to developing space travel, it's Rome. We're wasting our time wandering this cursed jungle.”

  There was a brief pause, and the radio responded: “We have reports from several reputable Ciri pinpointing the source of the technological activity in that jungle. But you are right; someone must have made a mistake. The computer models show that the average citizen in a land with such technology would be advanced beyond the neighboring cultures by about five centuries. Your specimen clearly demonstrated that the land of Atakala is just another African tribe, and whoever this 'Umanion' is we've been hearing about, he's not from there. It is fruitless to continue to compromise your identity. Had Lemelett said even a single thing that sounded unexpected, we might continue… but as it is, we see no reason to waste your resources.”

  “Shall we set up camp and await your rescue?”

  “Yes. But stay alert for suspicious activity. Try not to get ambushed by the locals, and report back if you find anything unusual. We're scrambling to find a rescue party; we'll contact you when we know more. Good luck in the jungle!” With that, the transmission ended.

  “Good luck in the jungle?” muttered Odatheus. “She didn’t have to sound so cheerful. Why’d they send us on this mission, anyway? Everyone knows Earth is one of the most backwards planets in the arm, and this isn't just Earth; it's the middle of nowhere.”

  “Earth’s readings have been going up. Normally Bimi takes African assignments, but he’s been sent here so many times, the senate finally gave him some time off. Having so few humans didn’t leave them much choice but to send us.”

  “We make terrible African spies. Our skin sticks out like crazy. I want to go back to Rome. Dress up as a gladiator, take baths in the aqueducts.”

  “Well, it could be worse.” Ivan chuckled. “We could be stuck in the middle of Africa in an advanced civilization with the locals wielding rifles, cannons, and a general disdain of all other nations. And they could have captured us, ready to cook us into soup.”

  Odatheus laughed along. “Ha! They'd have space-time ships too, I bet! And escalators going up and down the trees where they pick their nuclear bananas. Crazy bureaucracy. Where do they come up with these rumors? This is the most boring patch of land I have ever seen. Let’s hike back to our ship, get some meal packs, and find a place to sleep where no one will find us. We've got a long wait if we're counting on the Xenonites to come fetch us.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”