I walked the relatively short distance to Barbie’s address, and stopped as I reached the final corner before my phone said I was there. Stopping long enough to prop myself against the old stone surface of some random building and switching back to my contacts. She asked me to call ahead, and I wasn’t trying to be rude as I clicked her name and held it up. The phone ringing in my ear for a few moments, with me waiting for an answer as I suddenly smelled paint and apples on the air and turned to see the woman herself.

  She was cute, her makeup done much the same as it had last time with blood-red lips and her hair done up in cute blonde curls. Today she was wearing a black and white polka dot dress that came to her knees with short-sleeves, alongside a pair of dress shoes and a pair of matching black gloves and a golden cross necklace I felt weird for staring at so long. Necklace, not what it was in front of I told myself. She was carrying a brown bag that smelled vaguely of grease and cooked meat in one hand, and a large drink in the other as she smiled up at me.

  “Hey, Mary,” She said awkwardly, holding the things out, and I felt a tension I hadn’t even realized was on me give out. My shoulders feeling loose, pained from being stressed so long, as I let out a small sigh and felt a smile cross my lips even as she continued, “sorry, forgot I had a meeting this morning. We ate there, I got you some food on my way back though I didn’t want to break my promise.”

  “You didn’t need to do that,” I said, feeling a little unsure of what I was doing even as I felt my face flush a little and I took the bags from her, “I mean, like, I don’t want to be a bother, you know?”

  “Oh, no bother,” the woman giggled, covering her mouth a brief moment before she looked around, happiness shifting to a brief flash of concern. “I…one second, I’m gonna run ahead, make sure we’re good.”

  I nodded, left alone on the sidewalk as she quickly moved past me and went a few houses down the path, a suddenly robotic pace to her movements. Finally stopping, she unlocked the door with a key from her purse and stepped in as I didn’t particularly dare to move a muscle. She hadn’t said what was wrong, but I had a feeling it was best for me to stay where I was rather than hover outside the house or try playing it cool.

  A minute later Barbie stepped back out, gesturing me in before quickly disappearing back into the house herself. I walked down slowly, my legs and torso still burning with pain, especially now I had to focus on my grip on the bag and drink, and found myself in front of a two story brick house. Roughly painted white, it looked a little faded and uncared for, even if still rather impressive, with an old horseshoe nailed above the door.

  The door was unlocked, and I stepped into an old looking house, with hardwood floors and largely wooden and leather furniture throughout. An old smell to it, a little musty, but no where near as bad as the Covenant and more than made up for by a sweet scent to the air I couldn’t quite place.

  Barbie came half back down the stairs as I was still taking it in, and I saw the woman beckoned me forward with a contagious relation to her.

  “I’m sorry about the fuss,” Barbie laughed in a way that didn’t feel completely right, refusing to look back at me as she led me up a pair of old black steps that probably needed some restaining. “my dad doesn’t want me having girls over, you know? We should be good until five though, not that you need to stay that long.”

  “Usually dads care more about boys in my experience,” I said with some humor at the irony, remembering having heard some of my friends complaining about it as a half-one. Experience of being trans I guess meant he’d never been too weird around me and Percy when we were friends. Then again, it almost seemed a little silly to care about two friends hanging out, but most parents didn’t have fear of werewolves and vampires as their chief priority.

  Barbie let out another nervous laugh at my comment, shrugging a moment before she quickly explained, “well, he cares about boys a lot too, says it looks bad for a pastor’s daughter to be spending time with boys. I…well, you know, I never much cared for bringing boys over, but one time walking in on me and my friend kissing meant it was no girls visiting either. I imagine that would look a lot worse to him.”

  “Oh, yeah, I could see something like that,” I said, nodding and then for a reason I couldn’t understand decided to add on, “my dad didn’t really let me have many friends over too. He thought it was best if I kept my school life and personal life separate.”

  “My dad’s the same way, always said you’ll never get ahead in life as a-” Barbie stopped herself, the words stopping like a lump in her throat, “well, you get it.”

  I nodded, and had to push the wolf down from saying something worse as I mediated ‘I’ll kill him for you’ with, “that’s horrible.”

  “I’m used to it,” she said, shaking her head as she led me into a room, “I’m working on getting out. I have an interview for this museum job next week — Sigyn, Lucy, and I were talking about getting an apartment. Dad doesn’t like me working more than I need for my hobbies, but with me in college he can’t complain. Just turned eighteen a couple months ago, so it's going to be a bit hard finding something though.”

  “That sounds fun,” I said, following her into a room that looked more like an art studio than a bedroom.

  There was a twin-sized bed in one corner, and a dresser next to it, and a single shelf with three books on it, with not much else looking like a bedroom. One third of the surprisingly spacious room was a sewing area, with an old foot-pedal sewing machine and a table where fabric was currently laid. The other third was a seeming art studio, with painted canvases of landscapes and plants hanging on the walls or sitting on the floor, and a dozen sketchbooks laying about.

  I couldn’t help but take it all in with some appreciation, and walked slowly around the room while Barbie went about prepping an area near an already set up easel and canvas. On some curiosity, I went to her shelf and looked at what books she had, finding it to only contain The Bible, Lord of the Rings, and a well worn and thick looking book with an overly long title about painting.

  “I get most of my books from the library,” Barbie said hesitantly, sounding like she almost expected I’d get upset about her private selection, “honestly want to read more, but I have a terrible time picking books and I never have any idea what to get. I usually just end up grabbing something off the front table; in and out in less than five minutes.”

  “I can’t blame you there,” I admitted with a small laugh, “I’m just trying to get back into reading, stopped doing it for like six years and I’m just terrible at it now. Fuck, I’m like, twenty-one and am just getting my GED, you’re ahead of me.”

  “Oh yeah, Sigyn said she was tutoring you,” Barbie declared happily, smiling as she looked over at me, “said it was like, literacy and math holding you back from taking the test?”

  “Yeah, it’s a lot,” I said, frowning as I walked over to her, “I…I think I’ll have it soon. You know, it might be good to get it. Not sure if I’ll go to college or not, but-”

  “You should go,” Barbie interrupted me, cringing with a brief look of horror before quickly stuttering out, “I mean, if you want. Sigyn said you had a really good office job, but might be good for promotions or just pursuing something else. I don’t want to tell you what to do.”

  I had to hold back a laugh at her rambling, turning my back to hide my ever widening smile, “well, maybe I’ll need to think about it. The job’s good, but…I’d like a different boss I guess.”

  “I’d take anything about now that got me out of here,” the girl muttered, and yeah no that was tugging at the heartstrings.

  “Well, maybe I could-” I stopped myself, frowning as I realized what I was about to say, “I could ask around. If I hear about anything I’ll let you know.”

  “Oh, thank you!” the woman declared, pulling me into a tight hug that made the bullet wounds on my stomach burn. The wolf surprisingly docile for being tackled, but still aware enough to grab at her arms and hold them out as best my strength could allow. A barely contained hiss of pain escaping my lips, and she pushed away almost immediately as I turned to see her mortified face and she asked, “did I hurt you?”

  “It’s not your fault,” I told her, giving my best attempt at a comforting smile while trying to not double over in pain on her floor, “tripped this morning, just landed on my side a little hard. I’ll be fine, just can’t move around too much.”

  “Well, we should definitely get you resting,” Barbie muttered, gesturing me over to an old looking cloth covered chair by the window in a way that felt like more an order than suggestion. Never let it be said I wasn’t good at taking those as I walked over and let myself fall back on the chair, trying desperately to not whimper like a dog while Barbie moved a small end table over next to me. “I’ll let you eat really quick, please take your time though.”

  “Thank you, I’ll try not to hold you,” I said, opening the bag as I pulled out the egg bagel and hashbrowns inside. “Am I good like this? I can take off the jacket, the jacket’s just a sort of family thing. I wear it a lot.”

  “Oh, it’s your choice,” the woman said, smiling as she looked me over, “you look really good as you are. I know it’s probably hot in that though if you want to take it off for this.”

  I nodded, and while I wasn’t exactly sweating hot I tossed it off all the same. As nice as it’d probably look in a painting, I had to admit there was no guarantee I wasn’t going to add some more patches and stains in the next few weeks. The last thing I wanted to do was create more work for her by having how I looked constantly changing.

  Eating my food as fast as I could without looking like a wild animal, Barbie went about adjusting her easel and moving things around. By the time I’d finished my food, and had my drink half done, Barbie had moved her set up around the same one yard space a half-hundred times and adjusted the curtains looking out over the street behind me half that.

  “So, what do you need me to do?” I asked, sitting the cup on the floor beside me as Barbie moved the end table away.

  “Sit still as you can mostly, find a position that’s comfortable,” Barbie said, walking over as she picked up a black stick, “I’m gonna do a charcoal sketch first, get it detailed as I can and get some starting lines. I think that’ll take the day, we can start on other stuff next session.”

  “Alright,” I said, giving a small smile at the fact, even as I adjusted my seating and folded my hands in my lap, “this is good?”

  “Perfect,” the woman answered, holding her hand out as she seemed to measure me, “I don’t have an eternity so it won’t be a masterpiece, but I’m gonna do my best.”

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  “Trust me, if it’s half as good as those paintings I can see it’s going to be the best picture of me I’ve ever seen,” I said, giving a small laugh from both of us tinged in nerves, “I just hope I look good enough for this. I know my clothes are a little weird.”

  “Oh I love them,” Barbie declared hand over heart, smiling as she began tracing on the canvas. I tried to maintain my posture better, and she asked, “where did you get it? Might be nice to mess with my fashion a little. You have this sort of ren fair look I want to say, right?”

  “Oh, I made it myself, a friend taught me how,” I said happily, brushing out the skirts before realizing I might have just messed her up. For a moment trying to pull them back into place and then stopping myself as I snapped to position, “you made your dress too? I like your set up, I don’t have anything that fancy I ain’t gonna lie.”

  “Oh, I make all my clothes, and these are just so comfortable,” Barbie giggled with a small twirl and a quick leg kick back, “I have some old patterns if you want something for yourself. You just need to up size them, I could teach you if you don’t know how.”

  “Oh, no it’s okay,” I brushed off, giving a small frown at the thought. Her dress was cute, but at the same time…”I don’t do well with short sleeves, I have a lot of scars I want to avoid showing off.”

  “Oh, no, I’m so sorry,” the woman said, shaking her head at the thought, “I didn’t know. You could make them with longer sleeves, would be easy enough, but I get it.”

  “It’s fine, you didn’t know,” I said, offering a comforting smile as I watched her work, “just a reminder of my past life, I…I wasn’t a good person until recently. I mean, I don’t know if I qualify as one, but I’m trying to be better, you know?”

  “Sigyn seems to like you, that’s good enough with me, and I’m starting to see why she does,” Barbie said in a soft tone, and she was right it helped. That little worm of doubt stuck in the back of my head definitely liking the way she said that.

  Fuck I was starting to act like Sigyn.

  “I did a lot of things I regret,” I admitted, not sure why I was telling her all of this. “I…I guess I’m still trying to decide what I regret and I don’t, that’s the hard part. There’s so much I did wrong, and so much I can’t say I regret except how it happened.”

  “I can’t imagine what that’s like,” the woman told me softly, and I nodded even as she asked, “I guess it’s a good enough time to get better, right? You ain’t much older than me, got plenty of years ready to go under your belt. You can still go on and do whatever it is you want to do, no one can stop you doing that at least, right?”

  “Guess you right,” I said, even as I wasn’t exactly believing the sermon of hope that much. Guess I shouldn’t have been surprised the preachers daughter was good at doing that sort of thing though, and I wouldn’t have minded getting in a confession booth with-

  No, I was starting to sound like Lord, not even Sigyn. I needed to start getting time alone with myself and a romance novel more often.

  I shouldn’t have even been thinking of people like that, I didn’t fucking deserve that sort of thing. I was never going to be able to escape what I’d done, let alone move on from it. I wasn’t going to return to anything like my human life, I’d never be anything my old life might have thought I’d be. Too many bridges were burnt, too many years spent inhuman, too many things still holding me back. I was a werewolf, The Lady would always hold me in debt, I had Martin if I could ever support him.

  Well…Martin was more of a dream than anything at least.

  He was Gevaudan’s kid as far as almost anyone was concerned, and I was sure he felt the same. I was a voice on the phone, an occasional video call, someone he was told was mommy and he hadn’t properly met since he was too young to remember. Even if I could support him, get a house, I could act like a half-one for him, as little as I thought I could as I was and he reminded me of Hunter everytime. I didn’t know if I could bring him back in good faith.

  It had hurt me enough to give him up, I couldn’t even imagine how it’d feel for Gevaudan to lose him or him to lose his aunt. They were the family I could have had, I’d given that up, and I needed to live with it. I needed to not cry thinking that, avoid thinking too hard of how much I wanted any other outcome, and I struggled for a bit to keep those dreams out of my head.

  I sat like that for a while, feeling the flesh under my dress mending and healing even as I tried to remain still and held back tears. Barbie and I would occasionally talk about whatever topic one of us brought up, from what was going on to our favorite movies. She told me a lot about some historical romance about Scotland Sigyn was making her watch when they could hang out, and I told her about horror movies with as little detail as possible.

  Eventually she spent a bit talking about picking out paint supplies, and I sat there listening to her with no idea what was said. Her voice was just something that felt easy to focus on as I relaxed back into the chair and closed my eyes a moment to better focus on her words. Her voice a gently fading song, pained and stiffed muscles relaxing under them as I tried not to think any other thoughts that would make Lord proud.

  I was gently shaken awake alongside the smell of her, and I opened my eyes with a small yawn, almost immediately apologizing, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “It’s fine,” Barbie laughed, taking a step back as I sat back up in the chair, “I’d almost finished your head anyway, and your body stayed mostly in position. I managed to finish up everything and then some, just let you sleep while I worked.”

  I nodded, pushing to feet that were starting to no longer hurt as I asked, “can I see how it looks so far?”

  Barbie looked horrified for a moment, but after a second’s hesitation nodded and gestured me over. With a tired smile, I stepped beside her and looked down on the rough charcoal drawing she’d made of me that would apparently be painted over later.

  It had some deal of detail, just enough to show my body and clothes and their curves and folds, and the window and buildings behind me. She honestly almost made me look beautiful, and I smiled at it as she explained, “I sealed it up so it’ll stay between sessions. I know it looks rough, but really it’s going to be the paint that does all the work.”

  “I think it looks great, for what that’s worth,” I sighed with a smile, giving a small giggle, “I promise I’ll show up better rested next time, just a lot going on in my life.”

  “I’ll make some coffee before you leave,” the woman offered, giving a small nod before asking, “when would you be good to do a second session, anytime this week?”

  “Any day really,” I offered, almost immediately realizing I needed to actually think about that answer. I had a case I was working on now, some hunter tried to kill me, I probably wanted at least a few days to get some headway there. “How about Friday?”

  “That sounds perfect,” the girl said, smiling up at me as she stepped closer a moment.

  Almost too close.

  She smelled delicious, the paints and apples that carried on the scent barely hiding the smell below close as she was. I wanted to pull her closer, take it in, lick her, taste her, taste her blood on my tongue.

  No.

  I shook my head, letting out a nervous laugh that made the woman look a little confused as I took a step back and I awkwardly muttered, “you smell nice,” instead of the question I meant. Was this harder than hitting on guys, or was I just too used to this sort of thing happening over several months?

  “I love apples, I know I smell like them. My dad’s church has an apple tree outside of it’ I read under a lot and use them for making pie sometimes. I guess the smell rubbed off at some point,” she giggled, brushing her hair onto her ear.

  “Apples,” I agreed, almost immediately shaking my head to scold myself you’re acting like a teen again as I quickly asked, “so, um, what time is it? Was I asleep long?”

  “Oh, um, let me check,” Barbie said, walking over to check a digital alarm clock on her nightstand. There was no need, as not a few seconds later the sound of a door opening and closing downstairs rang out and a man’s voice rang out yelling something my ears registered like static. Barbie’s face turned pale white, and in a scared whisper she said, “five-thirty, I completely lost track of time.”

  The man yelled something, and Barbie said she was just in her studio as she took the painting of me and hid it behind some others against a wall. I stood there dumbstruck, mind briefly torn between getting ready to hide somewhere or kill someone before I thought of a better plan.

  The windows behind me were unlocked, and I silently opened it as Barbie ran over to me with my purse held out while I was still half out the door. She looked terrified, and after a moment and quick look down at my torso asked, “Are you sure you’re good for this?”

  “Yeah, nothing I haven’t done before, bruises feel a lot better,” I half-lied with a whisper, “how about you run down, get a thirty second start, make sure he’s not looking out a front window?”

  “Alright,” the girl said, looking ready to dash out before she turned to me and looking down said, “I’d…I’d like to see you before Friday if you don’t mind.”

  “Friday not good for modeling?” I asked, wondering why she was holding me up for this instead of calling later.

  “No, still model Friday,” she whispered quickly, another fearful glance at the door to her room before continuing, “maybe…you know, if you wanted, we could go to the park, catch a movie, something like that? Wednesday night work? Dad’s out of town on a trip so he won’t notice me gone.”

  Oh, well, fuck.

  I hadn’t expected that.

  My mind ran a thousand miles a moment for some reason, and after entirely too long sat in silence I answered, “yeah, sure,” with no real thought behind it.

  Barbie smiled, quickly kissing my cheek in a move that surprised me before I watched her run off as I was left hanging in the window. I counted to thirty seconds, still not sure I’d processed anything right, before dropping down out of the window, landing softly on the ground and immediately stumbling to the sidewalk. Once out of sight from the windows I gave a brief glance to the door to make sure I wasn’t noticed, and started back toward the college.

  My mind was swarming and I was still trying to figure out if I’d just been asked out on a date or not when I pulled my phone from my pocket; fingers still tracing the lingering feeling of lips on my cheek as I glanced to the screen.

  Ten missed calls.

  Eight from Sigyn, the rest from Tara.

  “Fuck,” I muttered to myself, calling Sigyn first as I quickened my pace toward the college. I knew she lived there, best case she was there and worst case it was a place they’d know where to find me.

  “Mary, oh my fucking god is that you?” Sigyn asked, her voice airy, panicked, the words not sounding like she fully understood them between heaving breaths.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I said, frowning as I let myself break into a full sprint, “I didn’t realize my phone was on silent, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s Lucy,” Sigyn said, hyperventilating as she struggled to find the words to explain, “she’s missing, I think it’s a monster. Please, I need you to help, I’m at the library.”

  It was a short run to the library, working along paths and checking the map regularly as I made my way trying to ignore the burning in my side and leg. A few twists and mistaken paths later, and I found myself walking into a large park-like area, with a few silvery wisps of ghosts trying to form. Briefly thinking I needed to keep that in mind before remembering it was Sigyn in trouble dragged my mind back.

  There was a large green field with a few trees, bushes, benches, and statues throughout in the center, and several buildings all around. One building, a large brick one with several benches around it, was where I found Sigyn.

  Sigyn was sat on a stone bench, wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, sobbing as her aunt Tara sat beside her trying vainly to comfort her. Andrew stood a few feet away, pacing on the sidewalk until he saw me and immediately ran over.

  He looked far from happy with me, and I couldn’t exactly blame him, rubbing his eyes as he told me, “we barely managed to get her this good, she’s been ranting for an hour now. We’re still not a hundred percent sure what happened.”

  “I’ll try and talk to her,” I said, frowning as I walked over to the women on the bench. Neither looked up at me, and I knelt by them as I asked, “you said Lucy is missing? Are you sure, could she just be missing your calls or with a friend?”

  The younger woman made a few noises that might have been confirmation and nodded, shaking violently as she finally managed to answer, “I called her. She said she’d be right over to her dorm, but she never showed up and I went looking for her and I found her phone.”

  “And you’re sure the phone was hers?” I asked, frowning at the thought, trying to work out how much of a sure thing this was.

  “I found her phone,” Sigyn said, suddenly pulling the phone from beside her.

  I smelled it before I saw it, and my heart dropped as I slowly took the device from her and I looked down at the whitish-yellow mold that seemed to coat its glass. Letting my fingers trace over the substance only a moment before I pulled a plastic bag from my purse and stuffed the phone inside.

  My head was swirling, and all I could ask was, “where did you find this?”

  Sigyn let out a few more noises, pointing to a bush in the courtyard area and, not bothering to ask more, I walked to see what had happened. Andrew followed close behind me and there, next to a large patch of dead and brown grass, was a grouping of grass coated in the same mold.

  “I’m gonna call The Lady,” I declared, frowning as I already went for my phone, “we need to figure out what’s going on and soon, alright?” My fingers had no sooner started scrolling my contacts when a new call came in which read Samuel. I frowned for a moment, stepping away from Andrew as I answered, “how did you get in my contacts?”

  “I don’t know, The Lady probably had me programmed in or however smartphones work. That’s not important,” Samuel answered, the last part of the sentence almost snapping out at me, “where are you? The Lady wants you to come down to look at this car, we’re starting to get a really bad feeling about it.”

  Well, what were the fucking chances.

  I was not getting rest anytime soon.