A few days later I walked a mile down the road to a nearby gas station, hugging myself tight as I tried to feel a little decent. Well… I was technically decent, but at the very least it was a lot less clothes than I was used to wearing. Tara had said it’d at least look a little better at a formal event than my “prom dress from the seventies though,” which I was banking on.

  My hair was fixed, and I was mostly happy for that even if it’d been a long period of awkward silence getting it finished. Now coming down to my mid-shoulders, it looked nicer than it had in years and was easier to run my hands through as well. If I had a complaint it would have been how thin it felt now, no longer knotted tight to my skull, but Tara claimed it was still rather thick for my hair type.

  At the moment it was pulled up into a high ponytail, and it was probably the least weird feeling part of my outfit.

  Tara had dressed me in a bright pink latex dress that had apparently belonged to her sister and required a weird amount of prep to get on, and I was amazed it was supposedly my size. It showed off most of my chest, what my diet hadn’t eaten away, and barely came down to my knees with just a bit of decorative trimming the hems. It was sleeveless, joined at the shoulders by a thin cord of fabric, and I felt like I should have shaved for this even having never done so. A black leather jacket had been pulled over the dress, Tara vetoing the one I owned but putting on on my insistence for not showing off my arms and shoulders, and a small lace choker hooked around my neck supposedly accenting the look.

  A pair of knee high black boots topped it off, some leggings helped hide the tattoos on my legs, thick makeup covered my face, and overall it felt strange to wear as much as another part of me liked the look. The outfit showed off just how thin I was, and one could practically see my collarbone and the ribs in my chest, though Tara had said no one would think much of it at a rich person function. I’d also complained the outfit made me look like a prostitute in a shitty 80s movie, though Tara said she didn’t think anyone would mistake me as one.

  It was honestly the sort of thing I wasn’t sure if I needed to take as a compliment or not.

  I was also not sure if Tara had been wrong about at least one of her points, based on the number of looks and cat calls I was getting as I stood outside the gas station. Honestly, I was more hoping at this point Hunter showed up before I snapped and tried ripping out someone’s throat.

  I got my wish, as no sooner had the thought passed my mind than a truck pulled up and Hunter smirked over at me. His clothes were clean and newer, though honestly probably not what was good for a formal event. Even as I climbed in beside him, holding the borrowed crochet purse close, I took him in with something between appreciation for his looks and wondering if we’d actually fit in. He had a bright red button down shirt with some design around the shoulders, and the leather jacket I’d given him over it and freshly cleaned. His jeans were new, and still dark blue and wide at the bottom to show off his freshly cleaned leather boots, his black cowboy hat low on his head.

  “There was a rodeo setting up on the way here this morning,” he explained, nodding his head with an awkward smile, “I figured it looked better than my normal formal clothes, what do you think?”

  “Looks good on you,” I admitted, keeping my eyes on him even as he started the drive out. We sat in silence for a moment, and I half-hid a smile as I asked, “what do you think of me?”

  “Looking um, you’re looking hot, yeah,” Hunter admitted awkwardly, his hand seeming to hover in the air a moment as he gestured it to me. I thought he might have been considering whether to touch me or not, and I thanked him that he didn’t. “You’re not wearing your bracelet.”

  “I just forgot it,” I lied, brushing it off as I leaned against the window, “I was in a hurry, Tara was spending a long while putting on my makeup. I was squirming too much for her to do the eyeliner right.”

  It was a negotiating answer, not true in the least sense but something that was true in the sense it stopped me hurting his feelings. I’d remembered the bracelet, I’d picked it up and held it for a long while, and I’d sat it back down and decided I couldn’t wear it. Not now, not tonight.

  I didn’t need to reflect too hard to realize what the bracelet did to my thoughts, what it did when I let myself be in his head. My thoughts were Hunter’s thoughts, I wanted blood more, I was violent more, I had trouble controlling myself. My thoughts never felt less human than when Hunter gave me permission to let them become a wolf’s own.

  That wasn’t something I needed, not now, not when so much relied on me keeping things under control. There was no telling who was going to be here, and I didn’t need to look bad in front of people who claimed to care about me.

  The thought kept me worried until we parked in a lot reserved for the hotel and walked up to the glass doors. We spent most of it walking apart in an awkward silence, and were about to enter the hotel like that when a nagging started in my mind.

  Everything the last couple weeks, the last months, the last fucking years, had been too much for me. Too much for anyone. I needed something right now, anything, a rock to ground me and with a small sigh I pushed through the hesitation in my mind and stepped closer to Hunter. My arms creeped around Hunter’s left arm, and I hugged him close as I rested my head on his while we walked.

  He was warm, small even compared to me, and Hunter only seemed surprised for a moment before we continued into the hotel. I was glad, and I only became aware of my heart beating in fear as it started to slow down once more.

  The hotel lobby was large and ornate, with marble floors and decorated ceilings and gold columns covering the two floors of the entrance. A small gathering of people talked with each other in the room and stood behind the desks, and we ignored them as we turned and went to the side door marked Renovations Fundraiser.

  A doorman waited at a pedestal, and I stepped up first as I confidently announced, “Cadys, please.”

  The door man looked over his papers for a moment, smiling softly as he looked over the papers in front of him and looked at us chuckling. I was worried for a moment that he saw through our disguise, or we were obviously not belonging, when he dug through a pile and handed us two name tags. He gave us a wave through, and smiled as he said, “I always love seeing young couples. Please enjoy yourselves.”

  “Oh we will,” Hunter chuckled, leading me into the adjacent room as we placed our pre-printed name tags on our shirts before looking around.

  It was a large gathering, in a room perhaps meant for balls, with at least a few hundred different people stuffed together walking among the dozens of tables that had been set up. Several tables near the entrance were reserved for dining, with servers taking orders and people sitting around talking, while others were gambling tables with a variety of card and dice games. It was a myriad of noises, smells, sights, and I was honestly surprised how calm I was as the wolf merely wanted to curl around Hunter.

  We were barely five steps in when one of the servers walked up carrying a tray of chips she handed off to me. I looked at her in surprise, and she chirped happily, “your chips have already been prepared on Vergil’s request, Mr. and Mrs. Cady, is there anything else I can get you?”

  “We’re good for now, thank you,” Hunter chuckled, smiling at the woman as he wrapped an arm possessively around my waist, “when our patron for the evening becomes available please let me know, I’d love to thank them.”

  “I’ll let you know, please enjoy your stay,” the woman said, giving us a final bow with her head as we were left alone.

  “How’d you swing this?” Hunter asked in disbelief, looking down at the chips in my arms.

  “Someone owed me a big favor,” I admitted, going with the most neutral answer I could, leaning into the man. We started toward one of the tables playing poker, and I continued, “I guess he was feeling a bit guilty about everything that happened. Seems good for us though, you remember what I taught you about Poker?”

  “Yeah, not to play against you in Poker,” the man said, and I giggled as I couldn’t disagree. He smiled at me, a small smile of some deeper thought in the back of his head, and he patted the small of my back comfortingly, “know when to fold them.”

  A few minutes later we were sat at a poker table, one of the few games Hunter and I both were good at. My dad had taught me to play as soon as I’d outgrown goldfish, and as good as I’d gotten before my first transformation I was glad for it. Within a few hands we were both up, and it was only as I started to get bored I started to think about what I was doing.

  Hunter and I had been grabbing each other since we walked in, and even if he hadn’t been touching me like he’d used to he was touching me. Small things, resting his hand on my arm, my back, my thigh, like he was trying to make sure I was still beside him. I wasn’t stopping him, I didn’t want to stop him, and couldn’t help but wish he’d gone farther.

  I still wasn’t sure what Misha and I had going on, wasn’t sure if we ever did or if I even wanted that. Tara’s story was still dully ringing in my ears for days now without bringing myself to talk to Misha for more than a few hours of near silence. An awkward breakfast out to celebrate my hair where we’d barely spoken and he’d ended up giving me some pig hair brush he said to ask Tara about, a little bent spent awkwardly watching some tv show before I excused myself.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  The man seeming to realize I wasn’t exactly ready for talking too much, and too much on my mind to even decide if it was worth it. I was probably dead in a week, even if Misha was a better person he didn’t deserve another girlfriend getting fucking killed. Even if he was a better person, even if I was surviving, he didn’t deserve a fucking monster like me.

  And Hunter was here, he knew me, he was handsome and nice and we were even on the hunt together and I could tell he was trying to hide his joy at being near me again.

  I wanted to make him keep that happiness, to become happier, to be the source of that happiness. To try and give someone something to be happy about if I was going to die, to make it where he didn’t just remember me for betraying him. To make him remember I was as much of a wolf as him, and that this wasn’t just some act I was slipping into.

  My heart was racing, my senses felt more real than they had in a long while, the wolf within me felt natural and at home in my body. Every movement I made, every word I said, every action I took, it felt fucking natural to do. I wasn’t feeling like I was holding myself back, I wasn’t feeling like a werewolf trying to be human, even as I acted human. I was a monster working with another monster, and even if I wanted to be better that didn’t feel real in the moment.

  “You paying the blind, ma’am?” the dealer asked, drawing me from my thoughts as I looked up at him.

  “No, I don’t think I will,” I admitted, getting a slightly confused look from Hunter as I pulled my chips back to our tray. “I’m thinking I’ll support my husband for a bit, if that’s allowed.”

  I didn’t wait for an answer or complaint, and instead slid from my chair to sit across Hunter’s lap. The man made a small noise of surprise, and I wrapped my arms around his neck with a small growl. He chuckled, and I felt him wrap one arm around my waist as he continued to play the game. His scent was wonderful this close, even with the myriad of others that were around us I could pick it out, and I half buried my face in his shoulder to enjoy it more.

  A monster for a monster, what else did I actually deserve?

  On the river of the next hand Hunter’s hand drifted from my side to my hip, and he seemed ready to move it back when I gripped his hand and moved it farther down to my ass. He looked at me out the side of his eye with surprise, and I smiled as innocently as I could muster as I gave a small shrug. His confusion not leaving him even as he returned to his hand, and he kept his hand there as I was held tight to him.

  We played a few hands like that, and I clung onto him surprisingly lost in his existence. His warmth, his feel, his scent, it was all familiar, strong, and without the presence of others I briefly wondered why I’d given it up so long ago. I didn’t want to live like a purist, but this…this was right, it was familiar, no uncertainty behind it, and I wanted it to just be true.

  It was also impossible to ignore the fact it was me.

  It had to have been me, I wasn’t wearing my bracelet, Hunter wasn’t intensifying my thoughts. He was…we were just together, we were honestly together, and I was enjoying it, not the same as I’d used to but enjoying all the same even as I felt guilty for the fact. I loved him, and I wanted to keep loving him.

  Hunter tapped out of the game, and held our tray in one hand while he kept an arm tight around my waist while we walked away. We stopped a waitress to order a couple of drinks, and made our way to one of the dining tables, empty except for us. I sat across Hunter’s lap once more as the man looked up to me, and my arm hung loosely around his neck. He wanted to be happy, I could tell, but there was a confusion in his stare, an uncertainty.

  “What is this?” he finally asked me hesitantly, almost sounding scared of being hurt by my answer. “You haven’t been like this the last few times we’ve talked this is almost…”

  “Like old times,” I answered for him, resting my hand on his cheek, “I’ve…had a weird few weeks, with everything going on. It…it’s really making me rethink a lot of things.”

  “Just don’t be using me. For my sake?” Hunter said, almost sounding scared as I kissed his forehead.

  “Can it be like old times then?” I asked, feeling him hold me tighter at the words, “just for tonight. I don’t know about after, what that would be, but I need something familiar for tonight.”

  “Just for tonight,” Hunter agreed, running a hand through my hair as he looked up at me, “I tell you I like the haircut yet?”

  “You didn’t, no. Actually not much of a haircut, she only took the bottom six or so inches off,” I giggled slightly, leaning into his hand as I traced his jaw with my thumb, “you thinking of growing out the beard?”

  “I got told it would look good and agreed, yeah,” Hunter chuckled, stroking his chin a moment, “what do you think?”

  “I think you’d look good with one,” I admitted, picturing the fact rather honestly. My only concern with him growing a beard would be that he’d grow it as long and wild as his dad did. I’d met the man a few times, and he’d always reminded me of a crazed prospector more than anything else. Before I could voice those hesitations to him a server came by and sat our drinks down in front of us, one clear for Hunter and one bright pink drink for me.

  “What I get for saying anything sweet,” I muttered, sipping my drink with a small smile.

  Hunter chuckled at the complaint, sipping his own drink as he looked up at me, “taste good at least?”

  “I like it,” I shrugged, holding back a smile as a thought crossed my mind, “you want to try it?”

  “Sure,” the man shrugged, reaching out for the drink before I stopped him.

  I sighed a moment, not sure if I was going to fucking do this before deciding I was feeling too much to care. I took a deep sip of my drink, gripped his hair, and kissed him like old times. He froze for a moment before his hand crept up my stomach and under my jacket, groping my breast and extracting a half-held moan. He bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, and I returned the gesture as both cuts healed for us and we lapped the blood from one another’s lips.

  The wolf might have been tempted to start coming out if someone didn’t clear their throat beside us and pull our attention to them. Vergil and The Lady stood near us, each looking nearly pleased as they looked us over.

  Vergil wore a suit he looked out of place in and carried an almost-empty tray of chips in one hand and a dull red drink in the other. The Lady wore a dress that covered little and was opaque over less as she smoked, with a woman held in each arm, one of whom carried a full tray of chips. Both girls seemed overly invested in The Lady, who whispered in each of their ears and took her chips as they walked off.

  My face felt like it was burning red, and I froze, unsure of what to do even as both watchers sat at our table. The Lady looked Hunter up and down, and slowly announced, “It’s a…pleasure, to meet you.”

  “I’ll say the same,” Vergil chuckled, pulling our tray toward him just long enough to do a quick count with a furrowed brow. Once he had his answer, he did it a second and then third time, before in a surprised tone telling us, “you might be the first people I’ve lent money to for gambling who came back with more than I gave.”

  “What can I say?” Hunter chuckled, kissing my cheek before sipping his drink, “she taught me everything I know.”

  “My dad taught me a lot,” I admitted, kissing Hunter a moment despite my anxiety. He was the only reason the wolf was standing tall at the moment and not trying to run and hide. “He was a good teacher, apparently an important skill with some things.”

  “Well, I can say you were pretty good yourself. Hard to not pay attention to this,” Hunter growled into my ear, making me hold a giggle as I watched The Lady’s growing annoyance.

  “Hard to not pay attention,” The Lady muttered, nodding at the thought, “you are Mary’s friend then, Mr…Cady.”

  “Pleasure to meet you too.” Hunter agreed with a chuckle, looking over The Lady in appreciation I recognized. He found her attractive, I couldn’t blame him, but maybe I should have warned him it was a bit dangerous to do that. “I’ve known Mary for a while, she just called on me for help with a current issue.”

  “With a current issue,” The Lady agreed, nodding for a long moment as she thumbed her cigarette holder, “I see that you two are…close, if I had to guess. Will this be an…issue, with your loyalty, Mary?”

  “He’s just an old friend,” I said, hoping that would cover it. I was in his lap, and had been making out with him, so I rather doubted the lie would hold up.

  Hunter did not feel like it did, and I felt him rub my back as he announced, “ex-husband.”

  Vergil looked more confused than The Lady at this, and he tilted his head as he muttered, “aren’t you like twenty?”

  “Long story,” I said, sighing as I rubbed my eyes, “I got told the guy who delivered the original package would be here. I have no idea how I’m going to identify him, but from what was said I think they might be someone I know.”

  “When you see them, let me know. It was Scorpion who picked up the dead drop, otherwise I’d tell you,” Vergil said, his face turning up in disgust, “I have contacts throughout the hotel and a place set up at my club for you to talk to him. If you can point him out, I can get him somewhere for you to get the information you need.”

  “Somewhere to talk to him,” The Lady muttered, taking a short drag from her cigarette, “Mary, please…inform me. Do you believe you will be able to get this conflict settled in an agreeable manner?”

  “I’m working on it,” I said, and The Lady nodded in acknowledgement.

  It was apparently enough for her, and the vampire rose to her feet as she looked back at us. At first I thought she would have left without a word, and instead she sighed and announced, “Mary, I do care for you, so while I expect this to be taken care of please deal with it in a cautious manner. In the meantime, I have the daughter of a fire and brimstone pastor and a former IBC ballerina waiting for me, this is sort of a… once in a century opportunity for me to indulge.”

  We sat at the table for a long time, all three of us looking through the crowd subtly as we could looking for familiar faces. I tried finding anything, even a passing resemblance or someone staring at me too long, and found nothing.

  Nothing until the crowd thinned in one spot, giving me a long enough view of the bar to see someone that made my heart drop.

  My mind ran a thousand miles an hour, trying to justify it, trying to say it was someone who it couldn’t have been. I tried coming up with excuses, ideas, anything, and in the end could find nothing. Everything swam in my head for a second, and Hunter said something trying to get my attention as something clicked for me.

  “Hunter,” I said, frowning as my mind shot back to the wedding, “did you tell anyone my name? Mary, I mean, you had trouble using it, right?”

  “No, I didn’t think it was important,” the man said with a hint of confusion, “why would I tell them about Mary, you’re just Bloodhound there?”

  I nodded, and I got Vergil’s attention as I pointed him to a man standing at the counter, wearing a suit for the first time I’d ever seen him. Both men followed my finger, and I announced, “because Wounder called me Mary when he first saw me, and he was the only Purist there who did.”