Shoulders straight. That became my mantra today. I checked them every few seconds just in case. This mattered way more than the actual writing. Even without noble eyesight, I could tell Elise and Alexandra were worried about me. I did puke. My stomach was still churning even now.

  Emilia tapped on the door to study before entering. “Lady Evelyne requests the barroness and the young lady.”

  They bowed and both left, and with that, I was left alone. A small part of me wanted to let out a breath. But there was a window letting light in. Not only that, the door hadn’t been closed when they left. The idea of a different maid peering at me was terrifying to me at the moment.

  Would they tell if they saw? I wanted to think not, especially if they knew what I knew. But what if she told them something different? What if she threatened them or their families? The idea of having to make such a horrible choice haunted me.

  Alexandra was just a child. And the other choice was Mom. How could I ever be expected to kill an innocent person like that? I felt sure that Evelyn was just purely evil, like the kind of evil Mom told me as a bedtime story, like the wolf that ate children who strayed too far from home.

  I couldn’t shake this oppressive feeling that eyes were everywhere. I ended up bringing the chamberpot closer to me so that I could puke into it. I felt a little better after that. I decided to use Zureinigen to clean up after myself. I didn’t want to give the maids more work.

  Time seemed to move in near slow motion with how much I was paying attention to my posture, and my back began to ache—just one day. I could handle this, I kept telling myself. I had no other choice.

  Breathe! I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

  “Wind Maiden,” Emilia said.

  I didn’t even notice her approach. I nearly leaped from my skin when she spoke up. “Yes?”

  “Lady Evelyn has asked you to join them in the garden.”

  I nodded, stood up, and followed Emilia out to the garden area. Actually, this was my first time viewing it. When I came here, it was in a carriage, so I hadn’t seen any of it. Roses and lilies everywhere. I was used to only seeing them in the wild. So seeing them all together, with the bushes trimmed and refined, was unique.

  My shoulders twitched as I held the posture she expected. How could I appreciate any beauty when things like this always spoiled it?

  Evelyn tapped my shoulder. “My my, you look tense. Maybe some tea? I’ll fetch it, that way you can enjoy the garden by yourself.”

  With that gesture. I was alone outside. This was the first time I had been alone out of my room in a long time. Yet, just the way she was teasing me. I didn’t feel alone. I felt as if every direction held eyes. I tried to push it from my mind as I walked around. More than just flowers, the garden held bushes trimmed in various shapes. Like a ball or a star. Also a square. Very simplistic, but it was weird all the same.

  The only other thing out here was white painted things that looked like large cages. They had a table at the center, so I suppose the point was to block the rain, maybe while one enjoyed tea outside. But I hardly saw the point of enjoying tea outside in the rain. And if the day was clear, why did these tables need a roof?

  I noticed Evelyn coming by herself with a cart. She asked me to sit down and served me some tea. Just the way I like it. I guess she must have asked the maids or Elise.

  “I didn’t expect you to be serving tea,” I said.

  “Service is my job, plus, I can teach princesses, do you think I wouldn’t know how to serve tea. I thought this would be a good time to chat. I can tell you can’t handle this. Why don’t you just admit it?”

  I tried to push out my chest. Just to show my own sense of strength. “I am handling this just fine.”

  “What if I said, if you admit you can’t handle it. I will only kill Jillian? After all, why should she have Kevin if you can’t? Alexandra and Mommy dearest are safe in this case,” she said as she sipped her own tea. “Is that not a better deal?”

  “Why is murder your first thought to a resolution?” I shouted.

  “You have yet to prove to me that you understand the importance of your situation. Which isn’t exactly a problem; you can hardly be expected to understand the number of lives that rest in your hands. Let alone the weight of them. I think killing at least one person for your failure would do you good.”

  “I won’t fail,” I said, squeezing my fists.

  “You already did. A butler saw you slump your shoulders before Emilia came to fetch you.”

  I froze. No. But… I was paying attention. “You’re lying!”

  She chuckled. “Maybe I am. Maybe you just suck. Can you prove it?”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  “How could I be expected to prove that!”

  “So, that is a no?” she asked.

  “Just kill me,” I said, struggling to hold back the tears. “Clearly, I am not fit for this role.”

  “No. If you don’t decide. I will kill you, the entire Malatise family, and all of Hatula.”

  “That isn’t fair!” I shouted, and the teacup hit the ground and broke.

  “Sure it is. The Baron failed Hatula. And the kingdom lost the chance to be a maiden holder. If we kill you for failure, why wouldn’t I kill him for his failure? Now, who will you kill?”

  Mom. Alexandra. This. This wasn’t fair. I looked down at the teacup pieces. And a thought came into my head. I looked up at her. Casually sipping tea.

  I grabbed the fork on the table and lunged for her. If I kill her. Maybe no one knows about her threat—either way. Even if I die, I am sure Christopher could protect Hatula. I lunged the fork straight at her eyeball.

  It stopped short as she grabbed my wrist. She smiled. Shit.

  “Good answer. I was never going to kill anyone on our second day. I was merely testing you. Zuruhig,” she said as she tapped my forehead.

  I dropped the fork, and a wave of something floated around my head. It was hard to focus on anything. “Testing me?” I asked. “What was that magic? What did you do?” I slumped back into my chair. It was hard to keep my balance.

  “Zuruhig is a simple calming spell. I didn’t want you to act out after passing your test. You were ready to gouge my eyes out. To protect those precious to you. That is a good look. That is a look that understands what it means to protect. Similar to a mother bear.. You pass. As far as I am concerned. You are worthy of the badge of honor, the Wind Maiden.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked. Her words were echoing in my head, and I couldn’t keep them straight or focus on them.

  “My job was to take your measure, as everyone has been telling you. The power of a Maiden is beyond that of even kings. My job was not simply to see if you can hold a teacup properly. Or if you can hold a proper posture all day. How far could I push you before breaking? Which way would you break? Can you make allies? Can you convince those around you? And every answer you have given me makes me even more confident. You are worthy.”

  She poured me tea like nothing was different. Like, I didn’t just try to kill a woman; it was making me so angry. I tossed the teacup and the pot onto the ground, even hers. She just looked at me, frowning.

  “So what! Wasn’t I god picked? Why was all that needed?” I shouted, even with the fog in my head making it hard to stay angry.

  “You think people don’t have their own standards? Isn’t that the very reason you prefer the name Julia?” She paused as she began picking up the broken ceramic pieces. “It is understandable that you are so angry. That was the point of today. I promise because of your success today. I will never threaten harm to those you care about again.”

  “Am I supposed to just believe you? You may be a commoner, but you have the two faces thing of a noble down,” I said. If this was an apology, it sucked.

  She smirked. “Oh my. Good answer. I suppose I don’t have a way to prove it. But in either case, for the foreseeable future, we are stuck with each other. Do you consider me an enemy?”

  “Obviously,” I said. Some small part of me still wanted to gouge her eyes out. But with her behaving this way, that was obviously the wrong move.

  She finished putting all the broken shards onto the tray and then sat back down. “Enemies are so simple in bedtime stories, but in reality, they are much more complicated. You turned a child to your side in one night. Perhaps you will find a friend in me one day.”

  “Impossible,” I said.

  She stood up and put her hand on the tray. “I like that. Remember that this was an impossible task. Makes it all the more impressive if I manage it. Also, don’t you have something to ask me?”

  “What? Your test was already quite taxing today. Can you just speak clearly?” I asked.

  “You said you’d ask me to teach Alexandra,” she said with a wink.

  I stopped walking for a moment. How?

  “What? The basement walls are thin. You were both loud. It isn’t that you should always act as if you are being watched. It is that you should always behave in a way that can be watched.”

  “Answer me one thing. Did a butler actually see me with slumped shoulders?”

  She shook her head. “I made that up, but you did fail.”

  “When!” I nearly screamed.

  “In the gazebo, when I told you that you failed,” she said.

  “That… but… that wasn’t fair!” I said, stomping my foot.

  She laughed. “And you think others who plan to work against you won’t do such things?”

  I just couldn’t get my feet to move. How. How? How was I supposed to do this? When even my teacher couldn’t be trusted. When nobles flipped more often than mattresses back home? And a whole world of this? I…

  She looked at me. Now her face was sweet, like a grandmother's. How can she do that? Be so evil and now so sweet. It…

  “Julia,” she whispered. “No one, not the king nor myself, expects you to be ready for this now. I will teach you. I’ll teach Alexandra when I can too. Since you wanted me to, right? We just need to get you back to your room. Then you can rest. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I said. It was odd; the word just flowed out of my mouth. I wasn’t trying to say anything. “So you were being mean to me, to prepare me? Like, how men get rough skin before they pull weeds without rags?” Like before, the words just kept flowing. I didn’t know why I asked. Or why I found myself leaning against her. I just couldn’t help myself.

  “Yes. Only those men have it way easier.”

  Evenlyn walked me up both sets of stairs and into my room. She took my dress off and got me into my nightgown. Getting it on took two maids, but getting it off only needed one. She put the covers over me.

  “It isn’t even late,” I said.

  “Shh, you need some rest. Don’t fight it. I will make you a deal. On days you are a good student. I will say your name when putting you to bed. Sound good?”

  My name. Yeah. It sounded good. I nodded.

  “Goodnight, Julia.”