He woke up early, just as he always did. Cirrus had always been the type of person to wake up before the crack of dawn, but he must’ve been stressed last night, because the sun was already peaking over the horizon instead of it being pitch dark when he woke like he was used to. The sunrise was a bright orange and violent red, the vibrant colors nearly blinding him against the thin wisps of clouds in the sky.

  Looking to the side, Jayce’s bed was empty and neat, as if it had never even been laid in at all. He should know, because whenever his best friend did sleep, he would never fix his bed afterward. The servants always had to do it, and Nadia had scolded him about it a few times before giving up. Though, back then, Jayce hadn’t really known human speech and was just confused that Cirrus’ mother was mad at him, before continuing to do whatever he wanted without a care.

  Either way, Cirrus really couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so long. He would’ve liked to use his all-knowing eye to check the time, but he couldn’t do that anymore, so estimating on an average, he assumed it was around seven o’clock in the morning or so. It was much later than usual for him, a person who usually ran off only three to four hours of sleep and who woke up at four in the morning and functioned just fine throughout the day, so he could only assume he really must have been too exhausted and stressed from all the chaos.

  He slowly stepped out of the clean, empty room after making his bed and fixing the pillows, his old habit of hugging onto something while he slept having never gone away since he was a kid, changing back into his normal outerwear and slipping on long black socks before tiptoeing out into the hall. He could hear talking coming from the living room, but kept quiet as he strained his ears to listen.

  “I’m still no good at this, Mistress Emilia… I’m sorry, I pricked myself again…” came Kya’s serious voice, wavering slightly as Cirrus peeked around a corner to spy on them.

  Iden’s mother, Emilia Kavrill, was cross-stitching on the brown leather sofa, the warm tones of the room and soft pink and orange walls making the whole place feel awfully cozy. Cirrus’ attention, however, peaked upon seeing a cross-stitch design in both her and Kya’s hands, the bloody maiden Kyavir Sanguin herself having a much smaller piece of fabric that she seemed to be greatly struggling with. But Emilia just smiled at her, not even giving the woman a glance as she continued to weave her needle through her own intricate design. “It’s alright, you’re doing well. You don’t practice often, but you retained all the skills I taught you last time. That’s quite impressive.”

  “I do wish I had more time to do this. It’s very frustrating though.”

  “Hahah, is it?” Emilia laughed pleasantly as her vibrant green eyes turned to watch Kya frown, poking herself once again with her needle the moment she tried to thread it through.

  “Ow…”

  “Be careful, dear.”

  “Yes ma’am, I’m sorry.”

  Cirrus turned his gaze to swipe over the rest of the room, Leocadies sitting upside down in the armchair for whatever reason with his head rocking off the front, his eyes closed and a small, satisfied purr sounding from his throat in a way only a lion could make. Jayce was sitting beside Kya, watching her clumsy attempt at cross-stitching with a slightly judgmental gaze, which Cirrus could only assume stemmed from the fact that Cirrus himself also liked to cross-stitch, and was quite good at it. Kya, in comparison, was quite clearly still a beginner. But Jayce’s nature green eyes turned and lit up the moment he spotted his best friend and leader at the entrance to the living room, sitting up from his slumping position to be at attention. “Cirrus! Good morning, I decided to let you sleep. I thought you needed it.”

  “Of course, thank you. I definitely did,” Cirrus agreed with a sheepish smile, gaze turning towards Emilia’s wonderful work and all the lovely colors that stemmed inside it. It was a threaded picture of a red and orange fairy, sparks of green glowing off her in waves as yellow sparkles fluttered from her long, sharp wings. The fairy’s skin was a pale orange and her hair a bright red with darker orange streaks, loud and bushy with countless twisted curls and golden freckles dotting her complexion. It wasn’t finished, as it looked like Emilia was still shading the skin and designing the landscape around it, but the design was already immensely skilled and very beautiful. “How long did it take you to make that?” he asked sweetly, Emilia pausing in her work to look up to him and give him a kind smile.

  “Oh, this one? Eight long months. I’m quite proud of it,” she answered happily, voice calm and serene as Cirrus decided to sit down beside her.

  “I actually really like to cross-stitch, too. It’s a hobby of mine. Do you have any more fabric?”

  “But of course, your highness. I’ll go get it for you right away,” Emilia agreed, placing her work to the side next to Jayce as she stood up and moved away, Cirrus watching her leave before turning back to stare at Kya’s design, a clumsy depiction of line art for a black cat.

  “Aw, that’s cute,” he complimented, smiling easily as Kya attempted to thread the needle once more.

  “Thank you.”

  “Of course. Work a little more and you’ll naturally gain the skill,” he encouraged, the woman giving a curt nod while quickly moving her fingers away from the needle before it could stab her again.

  “Ah, yes, I’m sure. I’ve never been very good at the craft. But I try, for Mistress Emilia’s sake, as a way to connect with her and repay her for all she’s done for me,” she insisted seriously, Cirrus thinking that was rather sweet before he decided to take a look around.

  “Where’s Feather? Or Achitha and Eve? I assume Feather is still sleeping, but both the girls are usually up by now,” he glanced around the room, eyes landing on Jayce before the man gave a wide shrug.

  “I dunno.”

  “You don’t?”

  “Beats me.”

  “Hmm…”

  “Pretty sure Iden woke Feather up and convinced him to leave by bribing him with cake,” Leocadies spoke up from where he’d been having his lovely nap, still somehow sitting comfortably upside down while he stared at Cirrus from his perch, wide orange eyes the color of glowing flames. “I was up, so I heard them chatting. Feather’s testing Iden to see if she’s fit to join us on our adventures, and Achitha is going to be her partner inside a minor dungeon. Feather is probably taking this as another chance to train Eve, as well.”

  “Oh. I see,” Cirrus blinked, amber eyes widening before Emilia reappeared with a blank white canvas and multiple different shades of colors. “Oh, thank you. I think I’ll take some reds, oranges, and yellows as well, as inspiration from your work, Miss Emilia,” he smiled excitedly, picking out the shades he wanted from the thin thread as he decided on the size of the embroidery hoop he wanted, Emilia having given him three options. He chose the middle size, thinking it was just right, clamping it down on the white fabric before he began setting up his needle. “Perfect. I haven’t been able to do this in months, ever since we set off from Lilino twelve months ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been over a year,” he smiled pleasantly, happily licking the yellow thread for the belly of the bird he had in his head to get it to stick thin, before carefully bringing the thread up close to his eye as he began needling it through the thin needle Emilia had given him.

  “Hahh, I can see you know what you’re doing. Do you have a certain image in mind for your piece of work?” Emilia smiled fondly as she picked back up her own craft, sitting it on her lap while she enjoyed the happiness on Cirrus’ expression.

  “Yes, I’m going to do a phoenix. It reminds me of Feather,” he offered with more blind joy, Emilia’s eyes widening slightly as her smile faltered, her attention caught.

  She had to process that statement for a moment, not that Cirrus noticed, being too caught up in the excitement of his hobby he hadn’t been able to take part in for so long, before she eventually relented and smiled once more. “Cirrus… do you have feelings for Feather, by any chance?”

  “Ah,” Cirrus’ head snapped up, thread coming off the needle he’d been working so hard to get it though as he flinched at Emilia. He looked so shocked, like he hadn’t been expecting it at all, immediately stumbling over his words as he wiped at his clammy hands around the needle and thread. “Oh, no, no, uh… no, I… I don’t, he… he’s just…”

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  “It’s fine if you do. I approve. You seem like a fine young gentleman,” Emilia comforted, Cirrus faltering all over again while he stared at her in nothing but shock. He had no clue what to say.

  It wasn’t until he was shaken again by Leocadies’ childish laughter did he feel the skin on his back prickle with even more shameful heat, the lion-like man swatting at the air for seemingly no reason while his relaxed tail flickered back and forth. He’d turned himself into a partial lion just to relax, his small and round ears twitching with his own amusement, Leocadies not beating around the bush in the slightest as he retorted, “Cirrus, there’s no point in hiding it. We all know. We saw the way you looked at him during that meeting with your mother.”

  “Oh… oh, um, my apologies then…” Cirrus’ face burned, turning a crimson shade of reddish-purple while he looked harshly into his lap. “I… I didn’t mean to…”

  “It’s fine. We’re all a little horny sometimes, no big deal,” Leo stated as if it were the obvious truth, which only made him feel worse.

  “No… no, I wasn’t…” Cirrus began to spiral, his eyes feeling like they were starting to drown in empty space before he was alerted by Emilia’s warm laughter.

  “Oh, Cirrus, it’s fine. As long as you control yourself, there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. I’m just happy that Feather now has someone who cares about him so deeply at his side, someone so willing to care for his needs and be attentive of his desires. That is what makes me happy, personally,” the woman smiled at him with the kind eyes of a mother who had dealt with this all before, only continuing to give him that warm, lovely gaze while her green eyes twinkled. “Tell me, what do you like about him?”

  The young prince flinched once again at the question, looking into his lap as his jaw shook up and down where it was gaping. He had to reorient himself, gather his long-lost composure once again, because really, whenever it came to Feather, Cirrus always felt like he was reduced to nothing more than a mess, and that was unacceptable. He was the Crown Prince of Lilino, future leader of the Central Domain Alliance, and the chosen one prophesied to save the world by millions of oracles… he needed to be able to control his emotions better.

  So he tried his best to smile as his amber eye shook while staring down at his knees, finally gathering himself together before he straightened his back once more. “I like him because… he’s cute. Like, not necessarily his appearance, though that is cute too, of course, but I mean… the way he carries himself. The way he acts. He’s powerful, yes, and amazing and incredible too with a brilliant mind I could never compare myself to, but above all that, he just has such a fresh, innocent look on the world. His morals are black and white, good and bad are all straight lines to him. He believes passionately and whole-heartedly in his beliefs and won’t listen to anyone no matter what they say. I find all of those things admirable,” he smiled into his lap, hands clenching around the thread as he clipped his needle into the fabric for just a moment so that he didn’t lose the tiny thing. “I admire him. He knows what he wants. And he knows how to get it. I wish I could be like that, too. Feather makes me a better person, and he made me realize my true blind spots that I had never noticed before and where I needed to grow… without him, I wouldn’t be as certain of the path I’m on as I am right now,” he admitted fondly, Emilia smiling at him with the same fond look in her eyes before she moved to pat his thigh.

  “That’s good. I can tell you truly love and see the best in him. Feather needs that,” she smiled kindly, Cirrus turning to look into her bright, vibrant green eyes that were wholeheartedly sweet and ever so patient. She was a truly kind woman.

  “Thank you… ah, I just fear that Feather will never feel the same way,” he admitted again, Emilia staring at him for a long moment before Cirrus flinched back up. “Not romantically, I mean! I would never expect that from him or try to force my feelings onto him, I promise! I just want to be his friend! I want him to like me, or at least respect me… I want to be his equal,” he sighed, sounding utterly defeated as Emilia gave him a careful look, observing his every feature.

  “You don’t think Feather respects you?” she tilted her head to the side, Cirrus only sighing once again as he shook his lowered head.

  “No… no, he doesn’t.”

  “And you’re certain of that?”

  “Ah, yes… I, I mean… what?” he looked up to face her, sensing that there was more meaning behind her question, and that she was trying to get him to think. “What do you mean? Are you saying I’m wrong?”

  “Hmm, not necessarily… I do agree that it’s definitely hard to gain Feather’s respect for passive people like yourself,” she explained rather bluntly, Cirrus only faltering as he looked down again. “But I don’t mean this in a bad way. I just also don’t think Feather would choose to travel with someone for so long, would choose to train that person and help him grow stronger, if he did not respect or like them at least a little bit. You might not have his complete respect, sure, as he’s looking for far more growth from you, but you don’t have none of it, in my opinion.”

  Cirrus was silent as he watched Emilia begin to get back to her work, taking her darker orange thread and weaving it atop the fairy’s fluffy locks of hair and along the edges of her dress. He didn’t know what to say. Maybe she was right. She did know Feather better, after all, being the one who often gave him the roof over his head when he needed it. Still though, the new thoughts he now had to consider were mesmerizing. It definitely made him think.

  “So… I just need to grow more?” he wavered, looking into his hands as he watched the yellow thread fall off his fingers and down into his lap, feeling the slip of the thin fabric tickling his palm while he stared at it.

  But Emilia just smiled, eyes half-lidded behind vibrant ginger brows as she continued to thread her needle back and forth through her cross-stitch. “You’re not thinking about this in the right way, Cirrus. All Feather needs from you is to be unabashedly yourself. He doesn’t even need you to be assertive, like you might think. Because all he looks for in a person, what makes him come to respect others, is how much they respect themselves. How much they will speak up for themselves and their passions and the beliefs they hold dear. That is all he wants. That’s all he’s looking for from you.”

  The young crown prince had to stop and consider this for a moment, his thoughts coming to a slow as he began to look inwards on himself. Feather wanted him to be unabashedly himself? Feather wanted him to respect his own person? To stand up for his own passions? Had Cirrus not been doing that already? From the very moment he’d lifted his head, to the time he learned to walk, to the moment he spoke his very first sentence aloud and was praised by his mother and father, his greatest passion had always been to follow the prophecy and save the world. It often felt like he was not allowed to feel passion for anything else. Was that what Feather was upset about? His lack of self outside the prophecy? Cirrus’ desires and passions, his beliefs… none of them were truly his own. It was all ordered unto him by a prophecy at his birth, something he had never wanted nor chose. Something he had never wanted… nor chose…

  His eyes and all their dazzling amber suddenly widened, his hands going slack atop his thighs as his fingers twitched helplessly back and forth. Of course. His desires, passions, and beliefs were all things he had not wanted nor chosen for himself. So, in the end, were they really desires, passions, or beliefs at all? When he took the prophecy away from himself, when he stopped thinking of himself as the golden child and chosen one who had so many responsibilities to uphold… what else was he? Feather had opened his eyes to his own passivity, and yet he still hadn’t the slightest clue who he was as a person… it was no wonder Feather still did not respect him…

  “I see you’re thinking about it now. That’s very good,” Emilia smiled patiently, still threading her needle back and forth as she moved lower on the frame. “Just remember that Feather cannot read your mind. He’s not quite as perceptive as you or me. You may think you know Feather well, and you truly might, with how open and honest he is about himself… but does Feather know you? Does he know what kind of person you are in the same way? What are your favorite colors, what accessories do you like to wear, what are your hobbies, what do you do to pass the time when you’re bored? What was your favorite subject in school? How did you first learn your concepts? Do you ever talk about yourself, Cirrus?” she asked firmly, the prince’s eyes only widening as he came to the same conclusion the wise woman was trying to hint at. “He doesn’t know you at all. You haven’t let him. And without knowing a person, how can you ever come to respect them in turn? In Feather’s mind, that’s not how it works. I’m sure you see that now,” Emilia finished, Kya and Leocadies nodding along sensibly as Jayce froze, the only movement of his being the flicking of his furry brown ear. “So be more honest about yourself, Cirrus. It can only help you.”

  “I… I understand. I will try my best. Thank you, Miss Emilia, you’re very wise. These words you’ve given me were things I really needed to hear,” he sighed, picking up his needle once more as he put the thread in his mouth, clamping down on it for a short moment as he coated it in his saliva. He remembered the time Feather had saved him from the brink of death and stopped him from turning into a monster, and how thick and disgusting his saliva had tasted in his mouth before… that was perhaps the very first moment he ever truly began to learn and figure out who Feather was as a person and man of miracles. And now, after all they’d been through on Pearalis, he’d had the foolishness to consider them close because of that, even when Cirrus was making no true efforts to make that happen on his side. In the end, it was no wonder Feather still disliked him. After their history with each other during his life as Arcadia, their former engagement, the animosity that had brewed between them because of Cirrus’ complete and all-consuming subservience to prophecy… to Feather, it must look like nothing had changed. But Cirrus was going to fix that now.

  With his eyes freshly opened, he knew what he needed to do. He needed to be more honest. He needed to help Feather learn who he really was as a person at this side. And he… he needed to figure out who he was too, without that damn prophecy defining every aching moment of his life… because he was done following it. God damn the thing, he didn’t need it. He would find his own way, his own path, and he would find it himself. He no longer needed a prophecy to tell him what to do anymore. He had grown beyond that. And he would get Feather to realize that too, eventually. Because he was different now… Feather had changed him, helped him, saved him. And now Cirrus owed it to him to discover his own autonomy and make new choices and decisions for himself that no one else could make. It was the least he could do. Now all that was left to discover… was that very autonomy he craved and had been deprived of for so many long years…