“Judy,” I murmured into the phone, “Hey. Just wanted to hear a friendly voice for a change.”

  “Eyy, V! Was just hangin’ with Rita,” she said back cheerfully, “What’s up, you sound awful.”

  “I know, it’s just…” I took a deep sigh, “Look, can we meet up? It’s been a hell of a week and I really need a break.”

  “Time and place,” she quickly replied, “All you gotta say.”

  “Well, it’s a beautiful day out today and I’d like to, uh, go get something to eat,” I muttered back, “I-I’m sorry, I’m shit at this…”

  “It’s okay, you gotta relax. You always this pent up, or somethin’ got you extra tight lately?”

  “Eh… little of both, I guess,” I confessed, throwing my hair back over my head.

  “Alright, then I’ll tell you what, I have an idea.” Judy’s voice sounded almost devious right there.

  “Oh? What’s up?”

  “Rita and I’re just chillin’ out ‘fore we gotta meet up with Maiko tonight. Be happy to take you to lunch, but on one condition…”

  “Name it.”

  “I remember you wearin’ this cute little skirt, first time I met you. And you never wore anything like that since,” she elaborated, “So I want you to wear somethin’ that you feel comfortable in. Can be anything.”

  “…Huh?” I paused, genuinely confused by her request.

  “Lemme guess what you’re wearin’ right now. Tank top, dark jeans, old shoes?”

  “Uh– My clothes are functional, Judy,” I retorted, “I don’t see what–”

  “Shut up,” Judy fired back, “You got a cute outfit or not?”

  “A… cute outfit?”

  “Did I fuckin’ stutter?” Judy’s voice was so cutesy, yet so full of spunk. “I want you to wear somethin’ that you wanna wear. Function be damned.”

  “I- uh… alright, then you gotta do something for me,” I told her after a pause.

  “What’s that?”

  “No cigarettes for the day.”

  “Heh, deal,” she replied with a chuckle, “Where’d you like to go?”

  “Hmm… How about Kabuki? They have some good food.”

  “Sure, meet you there in an hour! See you soon!” She hung up and left me back with my own horrific thoughts…

  ‘Wear something that you want to wear,’ she said… Something I want to wear… It’s a fair question. What did I want to wear anymore…

  “Oh boy,” Johnny laughed, “This is gonna be a fuckin’ show.”

  “Johnny, please… actually, why do I even bother anymore…” I sighed pensively as I dug through my closet, “Look, when was the last time you even had a date…”

  “More than you, I’m sure,” he groaned at me.

  I shook my head and laughed at my own statement before it even left my lips. “Johnny, I’m a woman. All I have to do is tease my tits a little and I can get some, do you not know how this world works?” Oh, that’s a cute outfit… Honestly though, what even is cute…

  “And I’m a fuckin’ rockstar.”

  “Yeah, and a terrorist, or did you forget that bit?” I sneered, “Now are you gonna help me pick out an outfit or not?”

  “What is it with you and Judy, anyway?” he asked with a half-sincere tone of voice, “You do know that love stories starting with tragedy don’t last, right?”

  “Oh please, don’t pretend like you don’t like her, too,” I fired back mercilessly, “She’s a sweetheart, admit it. And she’s got cast-iron balls.”

  “And an anti-corpo mentality to boot,” he continued, “Wonder what she sees in you, come to think of it. Or Rita, for that matter. Bet she’d bang you like pots and pans with that bat of hers.”

  “Wear something I want to wear… What the fuck do I even want to wear…” I mumbled to myself, “I don’t even know what my style is…”

  “Seriously, V, just stop overthinkin’ it and put on whatever you want. Not like you ain’t gettin’ head at the end of the day anyway.”

  “Come on, that’s not what I’m after, Johnny…” Can't think… Maybe just go sit by the mirror for a bit. Great, and my left eye's starting to get greener. It does that sometimes when it's especially sunny out… means I have to throw all my makeup out the window… As if I didn't have enough problems…

  “Isn’t it?” he shot back, “You two’ve been in each other’s pants since Evelyn bit the dust.”

  “Johnny!” I snapped back at him, “You… You’re right. But it’s not about that.”

  “Oh, then what’s it about?”

  “It’s about having someone that I can actually be comfortable around for a change,” I explained, “Someone who isn’t prone to suddenly turning into a massive dick all the time.”

  “Yeah, well, we can’t all be Miss Perfect,” he groaned at me again before disappearing into the morning sun. Man, this fucking guy sometimes… I think it’s a fucking miracle that anyone got into his pants, much less someone who became a legitimate love interest…

  Something that I want to wear… Hm…

  Fuck this… I need a minute…

  I walked down the hall to my left, silently muttering different clothing options to myself– wait. No… no, really?!

  …Am I hallucinating, or…

  “Johnny, you see this too, right?”

  “Fucking hell,” he muttered, “It followed you home.” Looks like it was eating out of a bowl of scop, probably starving…

  Well, I guess we have a new family member… I ran and grabbed my hamper, gently picking… uh… looks like a him… Picked him up and placed him in the basket, carrying him inside with me.

  “Bakeneko…” I muttered, “Hmph… What’s your name, little guy…?”

  “I say we name him Nibbles,” Johnny muttered next to me, “Cause we found him nibbling on some fuckin’ trash.”

  “Man, what the fuck kind of name is Nibbles?!”

  “Alright, well you got any better ideas?”

  Man, I’m shit with names… Nibbles, huh…? Alright, Nibbles it is, I guess… “Fuck… Welcome to the family, Nibbles.” Can’t wait to give you to Vik once I have another Relic attack… Crap, I’m gonna have to register him, otherwise I could get into some deep shit, and that’s the last thing I need when I’m not trying to draw attention to myself. But there’s no way I’m ever gonna leave a cat behind, I’m not a fucking psychopath.

  Anyway, back to the clothes… Hm… Dress, maybe? Actually, she liked that pleated skirt I wore back in the day. Think I have another one around here somewhere…

  –

  “But what if they don’t like it?” I moaned as I raced to Kabuki Central – hell, I’m almost late…

  “Please, you sound like my ex from high school,” Johnny countered, “Just go enjoy yourself for once in your sad existence.”

  “I guess… it just feels a bit too… slutty?”

  “Why, cause you’re showin’ off some skin? Now, I’mma be the first to admit that I’m not good at payin’ compliments, but you look good, V.”

  “Thanks… that wasn’t a bad compliment, either,” I smiled.

  “Hey, what I really meant is that I’d stick it in you, but I don’t think now’s the time for–”

  “Oookay.”

  Of course I’d take my Skyline to a place with basically no parking, having to find a side street with a cargo terminal instead. Saturday afternoon, nobody will give a fuck.

  I felt a horrific pang of anxiety as I headed into the square, like I was exposing myself or something… I wore many similar outfits with Jackie just fine, but now…? I dunno… It just feels weird… Why does it feel weird? What’s wrong with me? God, I have to adjust the straps on my backpack, it keeps falling down… How’s my hair? Is my hair all messy? Fuck, it is… Fucking shit… God dammit, what am I doing… Why do I suddenly feel like this. What even is it that I’m feeling…? It’s not like Judy and Rita haven’t seen me like this before. Hell, Judy’s seen up my skirt the first time we met. I need some alcohol. Or some coffee. I need to pour coffee in my whiskey. Maybe I should go get a jacket… No, it’s 40 degrees outside, I’d be like one of those porcelain figurines in a firing kiln–

  Wait. Wait, there she is… Oh my God, what do I do… Don’t act weird. Don’t act weird. Don’t act weird. Oh my God, you’re acting weird, stop it…

  “V!” I heard Rita call out and immediately I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit all over the sidewalk.

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  Judy paused in her tracks, taking in my whole look. “Fucking hell, you look… Man, those legs…”

  “Right?” Rita smirked.

  “Heh… thanks…” I muttered, my face dripping with sweat, “You look… uh… Yeah, that’s… Uh…”

  “Aww, look, she’s flustered!” Rita teased me. I could feel my face go plum red.

  “Here, c’mere,” Judy smiled and reached out her arms for a hug.

  “Thanks…” I whispered, falling into her arms with Rita coming up to my right, “God, I needed this…”

  “What, two chicks assaulting you in public?” Judy laughed, “Doesn’t everybody?”

  “No, no,” I shook my head and broke off the hug, “Actually… I don’t really know what I needed, just that… I needed it…? Does that make any sense…?”

  “Not a drop, love,” Rita said with a heartfelt chuckle, “But we’re glad you’re feelin’ better now.”

  “Alright, let me try that again,” I looked over at Judy, “You and Rita both look wonderful.”

  “Aww… Thanks, V,” Judy said with a lovely grin. I absolutely adore her smile, it’s so cute. Same with Rita… I felt like my heart was about to explode out of my chest.

  “I dunno about you two, but I’m starvin’,” Rita interjected, “Wanna grab a bite?”

  “Absolutely,” I nodded heartily, taking off for downstairs on the hunt for some good food.

  I doubt that I’d ever had company this heartwarming from a crush. It’s certainly been years, if at all.

  Relationships with me never tended to last particularly long. I think my longest was maybe five or six months, with a girl who lived up in Northside by the docks. She used to go fishing all the time, which never made any measure of sense to me, until she told me that she fished because it calmed her. She never expected to actually catch anything – there wasn’t anything to catch. Everything in the harbor simply died. I had no doubt that taking a plunge would probably halve my life expectancy – not that that matters much now. Then we broke up because some guy she’d dated like 10 years ago randomly showed up and she left me for him. Spectacular.

  Ironically the best person I think I ever been with was a guy. It took me a while to come to terms with my sexuality – just getting out of that ‘experimental’ phase that everyone goes through. But I’ve always been one to believe that there was never a time limit to figuring this shit out. Still, I do remember that guy fondly – a coworker of mine. Dark skin, bald hair, golden cyberware adorning his body. He was actually quite handsome, though we only dated for a couple months. Still, he told me once that ‘the right woman in the wrong place can make all the difference.’ That really hit home for me…

  With Judy, I dunno what it is about her just yet… Her and Rita. Rita especially – she has this visage of a tough chick with that bat and those spiky arms of hers. But she’s honestly one of the consistently nicest people I’ve met. It’s so rare to find someone with that bubbly personality and it’s actually a genuine thing. Punchin’ Judy got her nickname from somewhere, and I could definitely see why. But I think what a lot of people would chalk up to defiance is actually more about independence. I can see that sort of, ‘I know what I want and how to get it’ mindset in her, which is also admirable in its own way.

  We took a seat at this nice little diner in a back alley, nice and cozy and away from the bustle of the main square. Perfect for a frank, honest discussion. Or to pour each other’s hearts out all over the table.

  “What is it with you and the katana?” Rita asked me, “I never see you without it.”

  “I think I mentioned that it’s a family heirloom, no?” I leaned on my hand and scratched the side of my head, “I klepped it before I moved here. Restored it with the help of our swordsmith at the Waterfront.”

  “No shit?” Rita exclaimed, “You stole it? From whom, your family?”

  “Yup.”

  “Damn, that’s metal…” she muttered, “How old is it, anyway?”

  “Well… admittedly no one in my family really knows,” I replied with a slight shrug, “It used to be a tachi, way back in the day, originally an executioner’s sword, actually.”

  “A what?!” Judy interrupted, “That’s so sick!”

  “Yeah, uh… it’s actually not a katana, it’s just a tachi flipped upside-down. The difference is which side the worker’s inscription is on – the mei – if it’s on the right side, it’s a tachi.” Stop acting weird, V. They're just curious. Just relax. You're doing it again, going on tangents when nobody cares. Except what if they do care? It's okay, just smile. You're fine, everything's fine. God, this fucking smoke from the grille is tickling my nose… No, no, stop acting awkward. It's okay, V. It's okay…

  “No, I meant, it used to be an executioner’s sword?!” Judy repeated.

  “Oh… yeah, sorry,” I smiled and twiddled my thumbs, “It’s been around since about the 1500s, I think, right at the tail-end of the Muromachi Period. Though it’s been reforged a couple times since then… It originally belonged to an executioner who used it to behead samurai who’d committed particularly nasty crimes. Murder, rape, that sorta thing…”

  “Damn…” Rita mumbled, “That’s a hell of a history.”

  “Yeah, but it’s been good to me,” I shrugged, “What about you, Rita? What’s with the spiky arms?”

  “Oh, these?” she smiled and flexed for me, “Yeah, I got these when I was in high school, actually. They’re interchangeable. Got a pair ‘thout the spikes and sharp nails, don’t worry.”

  “Hey, c’mon,” Judy teased her, “I hardly ever see you without ‘em.”

  Rita smiled and shook her head, “Well maybe you should come over more often then, babe.”

  “So… alright, I gotta ask,” I interrupted, “Are you two an item, or…?”

  “What? No,” Judy replied as Rita also motioned her body in denial, “Nah, we just get together sometimes, but it’s nothin’ serious.”

  “What about you, V?” Rita asked me, “You got anyone special?”

  “No, not for a long time,” I admitted, “Figure it’s probably best to not waste people’s time when you’re dying, I guess.”

  “Yeah, you mentioned that on the way down here,” Rita again stopped me, “What’s up with that? Are you sick?”

  “No, I’m not sick… I’m just… Where to begin…”

  Admittedly I’m getting more and more used to telling people close to me about my particular issue. I still had to be careful who to tell, of course. But at this point, I might as well not pretend like the company doesn’t know about the Relic being in my head. Between Hellman and Takemura and whomever else happened to be spying on me, they surely know about it by now. That wasn’t much of a concern at this point.

  “So… wait… Johnny Silverhand is–”

  “Sitting at the table behind you,” I nodded over to him, smoking a cigarette with his feet up on the table. Rita shot a glance back, as if she would actually see him.

  “Man, I dunno whether to ask you what the fuck you’re on cause I want some, or to feel sorry for you,” she mumbled, “And you know about this already?”

  “Yup,” Judy replied with a nod, “V told me a few weeks ago. Same sorta reaction, but it’s legit.”

  “No shit…” Rita glanced down at her idle hands as she flipped around a bottle of ketchup, “Y’know, that actually kinda reminds me of the plot of this old show I really liked, where it was like eight people all psychically linked together or something. They could do that, too, where they’d, like, see each other but no one else could.”

  “Bah, well I think I’d have gone insane by now if I had that many people in my head,” I laughed, “Dealing with Johnny does have its moments, though. Mostly bad ones involving him waking me up in the middle of the night, begging me for a cigarette even though I’ve not smoked a day in my life.”

  “Pff, from what I heard ‘bout the guy, sounds right,” Rita smirked with another glance behind her. Johnny just shot her a grumble before going right back to his smoke.

  “So, Rita,” I smiled and diverted her attention, “I seem to remember you’re some sort of artist?”

  “Ah, too much to talk about right now?” She caught on quick… “That’s alright. Yeah, I make clay sculptures and figurines. Little models, basically. Get ‘em in boxes, glue ‘em together and paint ‘em up and stuff.”

  “Any new ones that I wouldn’t know?” Judy asked her.

  “Mhm, got a really old one, actually. Kit from 2013, I think it was. An Apple IV GS computer model. Was a pain in the ass to build the screen, heh…”

  “No shit?” Judy exclaimed back, “The fuck’d you find that?”

  “One of those old flea markets by the water.”

  “Oh? Was it the same one we went to last year?”

  “When did we do that?” Rita looked confused but so playful and cute.

  “I dunno… uh… Wait, I think you got an old Makigai model from there as well…?”

  I kept silent and just watched the two debate over this for a while… it was so heartwarming. I couldn’t help but let slip the biggest smile I’ve had in ages. On any other day, people would probably look at us like we were a bunch of nutcases. A nightclub bouncer and artist, a techie and computer hacker, and a samurai and a… uh, samurai. Fucking hell… if I survive this, I really need a new hobby. Of course it would help if I didn’t suck ass at creating stuff. But nobody’s perfect – that’s why people like Rita and Judy were invented as well.

  –

  “Okay, I gotta get a picture of you two, you both look so gorgeous together,” Rita cheered as she brought out her phone. I felt so flattered by her, it was wonderful. “C’mon, Jude!”

  “Fine,” she scoffed jokingly, “Stay put, V.”

  “What are– oh…” Judy grabbed my hand and tugged it over her shoulder, nuzzling herself into me and leaning up against my cheek. I couldn’t help but blush and my face bore a huge smile all on its own… This felt so lovely. Even as the sun set and we had spent about four hours doing all sorts of stuff together, I felt like it just wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted so much more of this with these two.

  “Say cheese!” Rita exclaimed, her eyes beaming with so much life as she snapped picture after picture. “Oh yeah, this one’s a winner.”

  “Oh, lemme see!” Judy shouted and ran over, “Mm, definitely!”

  “Oh my gosh, that was so much fun,” Rita laughed with a huge smile painted on her face, “We’ve got to meet up again sometime soon.”

  “Just as long as you keep your promise and show me your collection,” I insisted, Judy coming up behind me to wish her farewell.

  “Of course… And you. See you Monday, sweets,” Rita winked at Judy and– oof. Okay, the way she turned just made my heart skip a beat… Was this subtle pivot on her right heel, giving me a smile and a cute little finger-pistol hand gesture as she rotated… Fuck, that slayed me… I couldn’t help but watch as she left, hoping that she might have forgotten something and had to come back to get it…

  “I loved that,” Judy smiled at me, “Thanks for invitin’ us, V.”

  “Oh believe me, I needed the break,” I said, still so incredibly flustered by all this, “It’s been nothing but go here, do this gig, help this person, take this thing from this place… I’m just so tired, you know?”

  “Yeah, I get it. But hey, that’s what friends are for, right?”

  “Yeah…” I gently nodded, “Anyway, I’m gonna go home and get changed before I come over, is that okay?”

  “Sure, but y’know you don’t have to. You look gorgeous as you are.”

  “Thanks, Jude… But I just want this to be between us, I guess,” I pensively shrugged, “It just feels… I dunno…”

  “Hey, whatever you’re comfortable with,” she said reassuringly, “But I’m proud of ya. You did good today. And Rita really seems to like you.”

  I nervously scratched the back of my head, not knowing what to say to all this. “Heh… I appreciate it… It’s just like, a couple days ago I infiltrated the Arasaka Industrial Park. Yesterday I took down a cyberpsycho on the beach, a father whose daughter was sold into slavery and killed in front of him… I’m so fucking sick of dealing with tragedy at every corner… I just really need a break…”

  “Yeah, sounds like it…” Judy muttered, “Hey, if you wanna stay home tonight…”

  “No, I’m coming,” I stopped her, “This… this was exactly what I needed. Thanks, Judy.”

  “Course, V… Anytime. See you tonight, okay?”

  “Yeah, see you…”

  I just stood there watching her for a minute or two as she walked off… I could feel my stomach churning and my heart racing. Suddenly I forgot everything else. Suddenly my issues were fixable. Suddenly I felt something again, like someone turning the key on an old truck that hadn’t been started in months.

  Yeah… I still didn’t have an answer to whatever this was that I needed, but I know that I needed more of it.

  “Ah, I see your game,” Johnny chimed in, appearing beside me with his cigarette in-hand, “Two-for-one special. Or is it one for you, one for me?”

  “First of all, that’s gross. Second of all, I won’t let you ruin the mood with your shitty comments, not tonight,” I told him plainly and definitively.

  “Aw, what, can’t take a joke?” he teased me, “Go on, siddown.”

  I didn’t want to, but I took a seat just to get him to spit it out. Try and be diplomatic about this.

  “Fine, something on your mind?”

  “Nah, just… happy for you, that’s all,” he muttered.

  “Come on, Johnny, I know you better than that by now.”

  “Fine…” he grumbled, pacing back and forth, “First it’s Panam, then Judy and Rita…”

  “Wait, are you jealous?” I shot him a sly grin, “Aww… Johnny’s jealous that I got more game than him.”

  “Bah, don’t make me laugh,” he scoffed at me.

  “Or… or are you jealous that I’m paying more attention to someone else for a change?”

  “Please, V…” he groaned sarcastically.

  “Nah, but in all seriousness, thanks for letting me have this,” I smiled. I think it’s kind of sad that I have to thank him for letting me have a good time, but here we are. “I have a good feeling about them. Definitely Judy.”

  “What, not Rita? Don’t lie now, I felt your heart flutter when you saw her.”

  “Yeah, but… I dunno,” I shrugged dismissively, “I’ve never been in a poly relationship… Hell, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to even be in a relationship to begin with. I mean–”

  “Fuck off with that crap, feelin’ sorry for yourself after havin’ an amazing time. You’re better’n that.”

  I looked down at the ground with a slight frown on my face… I wasn’t expecting him to say that. “I… thanks, Johnny. I think I got so used to being miserable, or… or just apathetic, that it’s like I’m having organ rejection or something.”

  “Yeah, well, better get used to it, cause I don’t think they’re gonna leave after that,” he muttered, “Judy especially. Seems the type to wanna settle down.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The way she looks. Thinks, acts, talks. She’s got a level of freedom and independence that people like you envy. She owes you nothin’, yet here she is, butterin’ you up and shit. Doubt that someone’ll do somethin’ like that just to get in your pants, V.”

  “Mm… fair point…” I thought to myself, “I should probably sleep on this. It’s… uh… it’s a lot to take in.” First thing’s first, though… gotta get changed, then it’s off to Judy’s house we go.