Golden mana coursed through the spider. Egbert had evolved its form, literally writhing and bubbling as it changed. Oh gods, I’m going to be sick. How is that even possible? I shouldn’t be able to feel nausea! Its limbs creaked and snapped as they fell from it, replaced by eight long, sharp legs that held an amethyst sheen to them. Then, one by one, new eyes sprouted from its molting carapace. Should have just let the mage kill me; I'm going to be reliving this horror for weeks!
The old shell of the spider fell free with a crunchy sound and exposed its new form. Dozens of new eyes spread from just above its mandibles all the way down to its abdomen, covering nearly every inch of it. They were a dizzying, maddening array of colors, each gleaming as though formed from a pure precious gem, carved with infinite facets. It had grown now nearly the size of a man itself and gained a blue-black tinge to its body in the few places that were not dominated by eyes.
The mage below had stopped his core-draining ritual and was pulling the dried husk of spider chitin off himself in apparent disgust. “By all the divines, what in...the…hells…” His voice trailed off as he looked up, and the Gem-Eyed Nightmare looked back harder. Well, I guess I'm saved for now….. The spider lifted its front legs and rubbed them together rather maliciously, letting out a playful chitter that was heard psychically rather than physically.
The mage screamed in a shrill, rather inglorious way and ran back towards the door he had come in through. Yeah, man, I get it. He started to frantically unweave the layered enchantments he had sealing the door. "The spider giggled," would be the best way to put it, and dropped from the ceiling, excitedly running after its new playmate. Oh come on, why? I would rather it was a stoic killer than whatever the hell this is… Stop being whimsical; no one wants a whimsical spider!
The mage got down to the last enchantment before a leg gently reached up and tapped his shoulder. He slowly, haltingly turned to look at the spider nearly as tall as himself. It covered some of its eyes with a pair of legs and pantomimed a peekaboo motion. “Ha…ha…nice…spider…” He placatingly held out his hand, still trying to unravel his spell with the other hand. The spider tapped him more insistently, this time on the shoulder, and gestured toward the village with a shoo motion.
The mage mournfully stopped unraveling his spell. “You ... uhh want to play?” he said while preparing a fire spell in the air next to himself. The spider excitedly hopped back and forth to show its assent before dashing towards the buildings with another psychic giggle. The mage was about to immediately go back to unraveling his spell when the sound of Remorse’s claws on the other side of the door changed his mind. “FUUUUCCKKKK...there has to be another way out in here…”
What...what in the utter seven hells are you doing, new minion? Are you going to save me or not!? Much to Egbert's surprise, the spider nodded violently at his question. It was upside down under the awning of the second building. Watching the mage walk by. “PEEKKABBOO…” roared across the cavern from the spider, blasting into every mind capable of receiving it. Egbert recoiled at the same time the mage did. What the hell!
The spider locked eyes with the mage for a moment and then skittered away just as he lobbed a firebolt in its direction, scorching the side of the building something fierce. Are...are...you playing with him? Why!? Egbert shouted to the spider as it crept over the top of the nearest building behind the jumpy mage. It waited until he was just below it and skittered over the edge straight into his face with another psychic scream, “PPEEEKKKKAAABBOOO!” The mage screamed, sending a fizzling wave of fire off to the side in his panic.
Can…we please stop? He has my literal soul; get that back, then you can go play tag with someone not carrying my very existence! The spider let out a sad psychic mewl and scampered from its hiding spot in the next building up into the center of the street and faced the mage slightly poutily. The mage began spinning his hands in a dizzying display, weaving a thread of fire into a roaring column of sparking embers held back by his will. Damn, this guy is really good for an apprentice.
The spider that Egbert was from now on referring to as Boo after that utterly bizarre introduction kicked a stone grumpily before squaring up with the mage. What happened next was so fast the mage couldn’t have released his spell in time even if he knew it was coming. Every gem-eye along its body glowed with a deep inner purple in an uncomfortable strobing pattern as it focused all its eyes on the mage. Then his head popped like someone stomped on a tomato. AGHHH, what the shit, spider!?
The spider grumbled for a moment, sadly poking its now still playmate, then ambled back onto the ceiling to try and coax some of its brethren into playing hide-and-seek. Oh my gods, I hope you never lay eyes on Thrognar; that boy's mental defenses have to be so low, I'm worried he would get brain damage just being around you!
Then, very begrudgingly, Egbert addressed the spider again. Good job, Boo…you certainly defeated the invader…. The spider did what could only be described as a happy dance, followed by more psychic giggles, as it chased one of its sloshy brothers across the roof.
Egbert tried not to look too hard at the rather messy remains of the mage and just activated [Gimme The Gold] on his body. Remorse burst into the room now that the spell sealing the door had faded, his eyes locking on the still form of the mage. Oh good, can you please pick me up? I need a new hiding spot...wait, REMORSE, DON’T YOU DARE!
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Remorse had rushed over and scooped up the headless mage, sliding him into his distended maw like a damned snack. The mage also still happened to have Egbert’s core clasped in his not quite cold dead hand. The universe showed some mercy to Egbert for once though, and his core fell from the dead man's grasp before his own mimic actually ate him, but it was far too close for comfort.
Okayyy…let's let my skill finish melting down my ill-gotten gains and try not to have anyone else die if possible! Egbert grumbled to himself; he wasn’t thrilled they had suddenly jumped to two casualties and maybe a third depending on if the dwarf teleported or got annihilated by Bubba. But he knew it was just a matter of time; he was a dungeon, after all, not a petting zoo. No matter what Thrognar might think.
Egbert went around tidying up the minimal damage his dungeon sustained in this last misadventure and got Buyer’s Remorse to move into the village. It probably wasn’t a good idea to keep him near the front door anymore if he ever wanted return customers. When his total finished ticking up, Egbert sorted out Max’s portion and then looked at his total in approval.
[Copper 5] [Silver 4] [Gold 3]
Well, as unthrilled as I am at the fact I just started a magical blood feud with the mages, this is certainly enough to actually start making this a real dungeon! First things first, let's finish the loot bug playground, and then I am going to turn this village into a mimic-fueled hell that makes you question your sanity. Unless, of course, you purchase the premium pass...
Egbert paused, momentarily stunned by Remorse. He had disguised himself as an outhouse, an incredibly out-of-place bright red outhouse. And if you looked closely, you could see his long limbs half-assedly wrapped behind the building. Anyone that tries to use you deserves it, and I will refuse to mourn their passing.
Oh, while I'm here, I'll need them for this room anyway, and I want to see what level two mimics unlock in the store! Egbert opened the store up and quickly bought four of the treasure chest mimics; they appeared in a neat row in the middle of the street.
[Copper 5] [Gold 3]
For once in his cursed existence, Egbert was pleasantly surprised; there didn’t seem to be any immediately apparent twist to his new creature. They were exactly as advertised: chest-shaped with legs and arms that peeked out when they crept around and a vicious-looking set of jaws hidden just inside the lid of the chest. Thank you store something normal, finally!
The spider immediately dropped from the ceiling, prodding at its new roommates. They scurried away, completely uninterested in its desire for hide-and-seek. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to understand that they weren’t hiding for it. The spider trilled in excitement, hiding a few of its eyes and humming like it was counting while they edged into the homes. Ehhh…moving on, whatever this game of hide-and-seek will inevitably spiral into is still less concerning than literally everything about Contempt.
Egbert zoomed back to the loot bug room; he was pretty happy with the playground half except it needed a bit more panache to it. He took his time molding many of the pillars and archways into more recognizable forms. By the time he was done, it looked like sprawling towers and tiny forts among the lords' castles, more than just the rough obstacles he had before. There we go! That's proper set dressing for the endless battle of succession!
The pit was still lame… he had a simple solution: he added a mishmash of dangling ropes from the ceiling that you could jump from the platforms and clamber too if you had the dexterity. In the morass of random ropes, he added dozens of small chests that he was going to stuff with coinage. He added a few full-sized chests as well; those would be real bastards to try and open while you dangled from a rope, probably hounded by territorial loot bugs.
Now...if I were an evil man...a truly cruel individual… Egbert laughed as he bought one more treasure chest mimic and stuffed it into the dangling ropes. It looked at the random collection of chests all around it and practically shrugged before disguising itself as a middle-ish-sized chest and nestling in one of the easiest-to-reach rope loops.
Egbert bought an almost irresponsible amount of coin piles and stuffed them at random in the new chests. He bought a few more, scattering them in both Contempt's honeycombed wall and hard-to-reach places in the playground. Egbert cackled as Loot finally leveled up in the store. He had spent quite a bit on this renovation but still had plenty to work with.
[Silver 3] [Gold 2]
Yes, let’s see if I have anything worth stuffing in that damned alcove Contempt hides in! Egbert opened up the Loot category excitedly; this was where he had gotten his loot bugs, and he couldn’t wait to see what else he unlocked.
[Rocks!...Valuable Rocks…] [1 Silver]
Hey, you like dwarves? This is how you get dwarves swarming your halls like you are giving out free mead without contributing to the alcoholism problem currently ravaging their society! It's a re-spawning growth of precious metals. Yeah, that's it, but dwarves fucking love mining some shinies; only silver and copper ore will spawn in this version.
[Respawn Time: 2 Days]
*[Iffy Mana Converter] [1 gold]
Adventurers feed coins in, and it spits out sweet, sweet, low-quality mana crystals. It’s like one of those fancy new “vending machines” in the capitol. Well, if they dispensed highly volatile chunks of solidified mana that will flash-fry a man if he drops it. Annnndddd if it sometimes just spat out one that might as well be a bomb because holy crap this thing needs to be calibrated, maybe ask Brom?
[Refill Time: 2 Days]
*[Ohh, so sorry, healing station.] [10 Gold]
It’s a shame, isn’t it? An utter shame how this room happens to disenchant any healing potions that pass through it... It's awfully lucky that this room has not one but 2 potion dispensers. Yes, Egbert. I heard your incredibly long and bitchy monologue the other day about how healing potions were cheating. Well, here now, you can at least charge them to cheat. Yes, it’s expensive; don’t complain. You’re lucky the system even let me add this one instead of making you cobble it together from like six different categories.[Refill time: 2 Days]
[Gemvine] (5 Silver)
Semi-sentient, slightly mobile vines that happen to have flowers that, if left to maturity, bloom with emerald petals. The emeralds are rather tiny, but hey, it's still a freaking emerald. Do not leave around small children and pets, technically carnivorous.
Well, hot damn! I can certainly work with these.
