I remember Mandukhai getting expelled a few months ago for reasons I can't even list here. I know this is her grandparents' home, but...why her? Why now?

  It turned out that her parents had kicked her out shortly after she was expelled. If I were them, I wouldn't stand her either. But who kicks out their own flesh and blood over school issues??

  I tried my best to ignore her and went to sleep on the other bed, well, not really sleep. The room smelled faintly of flour and tea, the kind Mama used to brew when I was sick. That thought alone nearly broke me. For the next several hours, my brain wouldn't stop bringing back images of me eating Mama's piroshkis or Papa enthusiastically cheering for his favorite ice hockey team on the television. I woke up multiple times and cried my eyes out. But then, I had a particularly interesting dream...

  I was at the train station, presumably near a big city. Then I remember a Russian lady, somewhere in her thirties, getting off the train with her 2 young girls clinging onto her coat. They were clearly lost and scared.

  I guided them through the station, and I somehow knew every turn and passage by heart, like I had lived here. The lady was so thankful she smiled. Then she pulled out a small rectangular thing from her purse, tapped on it a couple of times, and said,

  "I want to have you around. We've just moved here. What is your telegram?

  "Telegram??" She said it like I knew what it was. I just nodded and mumbled something.

  She said "spasiba(thank you in Russian)" and walked away

  As I turned away, I caught a sign above the platform, and it said "Best deals in 201.."

  I didn't see the rest. But there was a strange feeling in my chest, like I'd just met someone I was meant to meet

  I woke up in a cold sweat. It was early morning, and the birds were singing outside. Mandukhai's bed was made, and she wasn't there

  I sat on my bed thinking about what I just dreamt of. The sounds of the train door closing and the lady's stressed voice echoed in my head for some time. Eventually, I shrugged it off as something weird and went to eat breakfast. As I reached the stairs leading downstairs, I saw Mandukhai talking to Babushka. She was clearly upset. As I took my first step, I overheard my name being mentioned and stopped abruptly.

  Again, I'm writing this many years later, and I don't remember every word, but here's what I can gather:

  "Babushka, why did you let him into our house?? He abandoned me when I needed him the most!?

  I saw how you treated him, Vnuchka(granddaughter in Russian). Babushka said, her voice calm but edged. The way you were is no way for a lady should treat her man. Why were you even like this anyway?

  "Because I was tired of being constantly looked down on by my parents! They dictated all 18 years of my life with an iron fist!! And being dominant over Mikola was the only sense of control I had!

  Babusha sighed. Mikola is no puppet, Mandukhai. You are doing exactly what you resent

  A part of me felt bad for Mandukhai. She never told me anything about her parents or being oppressed. I was so occupied with my own thoughts that I didn’t realize she had stormed off until she was suddenly walking straight toward me.

  “Hey... Mikola,” she said, her face blank.

  Hi... Mandukhai

  “Let's go back to the bedroom. I have something to talk to you about.” She brushed past me.

  “Huh? Okay!?” I followed, not sure if I was about to get yelled at or hugged.

  When I re-entered the bedroom, she was sitting on my bed, staring at my chest.

  “Look, Miko,” she said bluntly. “I'm sorry for mistreating you earlier. And... I'm sorry about your parents. May they rest in peace. But anyway, do you want to get back together? I do miss having little Miko by my side, hilariously fumbling any attempt at confident speech.”

  Mama’s words came rushing back to me. She would’ve wanted me to say no. But Mandukhai sounded like she really had changed. And honestly, I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. I was lonely again.

  So I said yes.

  Let’s just say that, many decades later, I’d call that the second-worst decision of my life. Why did I forget Babushka and Dedushka even existed? I don’t know! Ask seventeen-year-old me!

  At first, Mandukhai genuinely felt as if she had changed for the better. She would listen to me more frequently, and she also started to do my things; going out to the forest every Friday to collect fruits and taking multiple photographs of nature.

  However, as one side of my life healed, the other had collapsed; my academic life

  I was far from my old school now. During every class, every moment I tried to study, they would appear again. Papa reading his newspaper in silence. Mama humming over the stove. Sometimes Isaak or Tatiana would wander into those dreams, too. And always, that one night in 1985, me singing a Belarusian lullaby with my brat and siestras under the dim light of our Borzya home. It played on loop in my head until I could no longer tell if it was memory or punishment.

  Final exams rolled in, and I had failed. I failed myself. I failed the promise my 1989 promise. I failed Isaak. But most importantly of all, I failed Mama

  The following weeks felt like wading through fog. Every morning, I’d wake up expecting to hear Mama’s voice calling me to breakfast, only to remember she wasn’t there. I barely left my room except for meals.

  Then one afternoon, Mandukhai looked at me differently. Nervous. Hesitant. Like she had something heavy she’d been carrying.

  “Miko,” she said quietly, “I need to tell you something.”

  She was pregnant.

  I didn’t know what to say. I was eighteen, broke, and a failure in every way that mattered. I couldn’t even take care of myself, let alone a child.

  And yet, as she spoke, something inside me shifted. For the first time in months, I wasn’t thinking about the past. I was thinking about the future, terrified of it, but thinking nonetheless

  Months slipped by, and I watched my life move without asking me for permission. Mandukhai’s belly grew, and so did my fear. We weren’t ready. How could we be? Two 19-year-olds trying to play house while the world outside didn’t even know our names

  Next year, in the summer of 1996, our daughter would be born to 19-year-old parents. I thought of giving her a beautiful Slavic name, maybe Milanka("favored"), or Lidah("angel, loved by the people"). But in the end, I let Mandukhai decide

  She may have thought for 20 seconds before saying

  "Soyolma"

  Just like that. No symbolism, no overthinking, and somehow... it fit.

  The moment she came out, something in me snapped. I am tired of being tossed around like a rag doll by life. Every time I take a hit, I always get knocked back and wheep around like a baby. But from now on, no matter how hard I would get hit? I will get back up. Especially now that I have a child under my umbrella, no longer shall I stay fearing the world

  Even during these times of economic uncertainty, I shall strive in life, just like Papa wanted me to. In October 1996, I would become a janitor, then later, a baker by mid-1997. Around this time, the Federation's economy was finally starting to grow again. Mandukhai would find a job at a supermarket by July 1997. Babushka and Dedushka would take care of Soyolma.

  By late 1997, with the help of Dedushka and Babushka, Mandukhai and I bought our first home at the town center. Sure, it was old and small. But this will do until we become wealthier in the future. Just when I had started to recover from my mental recession since 1995, the Federation would have its own next year in 1998.

  Early 1998 was decent. I had collected enough money to buy my own small device. I believe it was called "Nokia". I bought it to communicate with coworkers more easily. But a part of me purchased it to have a chance at contacting my Brat and Siestras again. I would wonder from time to time about them. Where are they now? Do they still hopelessly send letters to our old destroyed home?

  It was subtle at first, then it became a disaster shortly after. The price of bread was increasing. Sure, they had never stopped rising ever since the Union's collapse. But. It had risen more than usual this week. Another week passed by, and the price doubled?? And why are my salaries less than last month's??

  The next few months were like watching the sky darken before a storm you couldn’t escape. By August, people stopped pretending everything was fine. Flour deliveries came late, if at all. The bakery owner started paying us half our wage; the other half was promised “next month,” which never came. At the supermarket, Mandukhai said customers were coming in with sacks of rubles, trying to buy as much as they could before the prices changed again

  Our savings vanished overnight. The ruble collapsed. People joked that paper money was cheaper than wallpaper, and they weren’t entirely wrong. Babushka went back to baking bread with rye flour because wheat had become a luxury. Dedushka traded his old tools just to buy milk for Soyolma

  It became apparent that Russia had entered an economic recession. Oh god, not again. Why did people even want to dissolve the union in the first place if we were destined to fall into permanent economic decline and poverty without it?

  However, this time, I did not trip over. Despite basic necessities becoming harder to come by, I kept working and pushing through. Just as I said, I refuse to let life ruin me yet again. In many ways, the 1998 recession had turned me into a man. Someone who no longer knew retreat, someone hardened and capable. Although...my partner would take the opposite direction after the crash.

  If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Every day, she would come home angrier and angrier. She completely left babysitting for me to do, and I didn't know how to take care of Soyolma because I had been raised without younger family. I was starting to question if she was reverting to her careless teenage years. Even when things were turning around by late 1999 and 2000, she stayed there, stuck in that low, bitter place.

  Speaking of 1999 and 2000, the Federation had recovered surprisingly quickly from that dramatic collapse. Prices stabilized. Our wages returned to normal, and we finally started getting the promised makeover money from our boss. Maybe there is hope for Mother Russia. That hope wouldn't last long, as I got entangled with a gang and was violently attacked the following year.

  I was working a night shift somewhere in autumn 2001. By around 22:00, I was the only operator left in the store. The dim fluorescent light, making a humming noise, and the noise of the refrigerator keeping the baked goods are a few details I know by heart by now. I turned off the register, swept the floor, and closed it. And I kid you not, the second after I locked the door, I was suddenly grabbed by 4 hands and immediately shoved against the wall. Then I heard:

  "Baker's boy..." said a tall man in some weird accent. He was drenched in the smell of cheap vodka and old cigarettes.

  "Listen up, if you don't pay us, we will kill you."

  I resisted strongly at first. There is no way I'd ever let this happen to me.

  Viktoriya had taught me a few martial arts moves back when she lived at home. I had always struggled to perform them in practice, and she would burst out laughing like any older sister would do. But on this special occasion, everything lined up

  I struck the tall one's forearms hard with my elbows, and his grip loosened. I shoved hard, planted both feet, and sent him skidding across the street. He came running back at me and swung his arms, but I ducked under his arm, hooked my right leg behind his, slipped an arm around his back, and caught his face with the other. I used all my might and slammed the back of his head against one of the metal trash bins' edges, and he was knocked out cold on impact

  I did it. This was the first time I had ever turned around whatever life threw at my face. Right at that moment, I saw Viktoriya standing in front of me and saying, "That was sick, Miko! Keep it up!" I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot there were 2 more men with him. Before I could even turn back, I felt hands on my wrist

  What happened next is a very blurry memory of mine. It's a very traumatic moment in my life, and I've been trying to forget about it for the longest time. Even as if I'm writing this, I'm terrified and shivering. But I'll explain it as best as I can:

  He gripped my waist and rammed me into the bakery's glass door at tremendous speed. The glass completely shattered, and I was on the floor with several deep cuts, and I was bleeding out of one. I was petrified initially, but became oddly...critical a few seconds later. Is this... really it? Was I meant to live a terrible life? Good always disappears once it becomes visible, and I guess I was just meant to have a gruesome end like this. My vision blurred quickly, and I was losing consciousness at a steady pace. I just sort of accepted my fate at that moment. As I was closing my eyes for what I thought was for the last time, I heard faint sounds of sirens and a few deep voices shouting; one voice sounded familiar. Is he the guardian angel picking me up?

  I opened my eyes in an all-white room. The light felt warm, soft like lying under snow without the cold. My body didn’t ache. I didn’t feel anything. Maybe that was the point

  Then I heard that familiar voice again. Calm, but noticeably trembling

  "He's breathing...He m-made it!"

  That's... not how angels talk, is it?

  Then the room started smelling like chemicals?

  The voice spoke again

  "Mikola!" Your heart is pounding again! YOU'RE ALIVE!!"

  I...I lived?

  Apparently, this is what happened:

  A group of ladies was walking nearby when they saw the 3 men having me pinned against the wall. Since the bakery sat right in the town center, they ran to the police department and reported it to the sheriff, Vadim. He quickly assembled a small team and marched towards the bakery.

  I cannot believe it, this man had just saved my life

  For the second time

  He saw my unconscious body, lifted me in his car, and sped me to the hospital himself. The doctors told him that if he had arrived 2 minutes later, I would have likely not made it

  While Vadim rushed to the hospital, the other policemen caught up to the fleeing men and arrested them on the spot. The 3 confessed to having been following me for 3 months and knew everything, my workplace, my routine, even my family, everything except my address. Also,

  they were a part of a larger gang, and their leader was active

  After I recovered enough to speak, I thanked Vadim over and over for what he did, for quite literally saving my life. But once I finished, he grew quiet. That kind of quiet that fills the room before bad news. Then, he gave me an ultimatum.

  1- Relocate to a different Federal subject entirely

  2- Freeze all current records under my real identity and legally change everything. Ethnicity, first name, surname, birth year, education, etc.

  If I don't do either immediately, my family will have a high chance of being tracked down, and only god knows what they will do to us once they do

  This was still only a few hours after the attack, so no one else had been notified yet. Vadim called grandparents and Mandukhai over on the telephone to the hospital to have a "serious discussion"

  About 30 minutes later, all 3 arrived with Soyolma clinging to Dedushka's side. The moment they stepped into my room and saw me on the bed, my left arm hooked up to an IV, half-conscious and pale, they froze for just a second before sprinting to me in tears

  "Vnuk!!(Grandson), Are you ok? Are you alive? What happened to you, and who did this!? cried Babushka, her knees collapsing onto the floor

  I'm a-alright, Babushka. And don't worry, they are gone now. I couldn't exactly explain it in detail because Soyolma was at the other side of the bed, confused at what was going on with Dedushka, besides her offering me some chay(black tea in Russian) convinced it can heal anything. Classic of him

  But. Only 3 of the 4 people were surrounding me and were worried. Where was Mandukhai? That's when I saw her standing about 2 meters away, and she said

  "What happened to you?, Miko said in the most blank voice I've ever heard. No shock, fear, or concert, just... nothing. For someone seeing their love in a situation like this, that silence was deafening

  Vadim came back into the room with a serious face. Obviously, Vadim didn't call them over just to check on me. He had another reason. He even directed little Soyolma out of the room with a nurse watching over her

  After telling them the ultimatum he gave me, they were horrified. Both Babusha and Dedushka chose to relocate, but were stumbling over their words before Dedushka sighed and asked me what I wanted to choose

  I tried my best to give my opinion. But I couldn't form any more than 3 words, I was too weak

  Eventually, Vadim handed me a sheet of paper and a pen. He told me to write it since my right arm was left uninjured.

  I wrote a lot on that paper, but here is the short summary:

  "I do not want to relocate. I have no idea where my siblings are, but I know for a fact that I'm the last Vyachorka to be still walking in dom(home). And I want to keep it that way.

  Besides, what value does my real identity have anyway? It's a story only filled with despair, heartbreak, and failure. I see a new start as an opportunity, not as a punishment. Also, it's ok if you choose to relocate, Babushka and Dedushka. Your names are worth so much more than mine. I'll take care of Soyolma myself, I promise I can."

  Because the process had to start immediately, but I also couldn't leave the hospital for some time, I wrote out who I wanted to become

  First name- Vladimir

  Surname- Kuznetsov

  Birth year- 1975

  Ethnicity- Russian

  Born- Khabarovsk

  Education- Up to secondary education

  Mandukhai got my paper and went to the council to have both our identities changed as quickly as possible. She decided to become a second-generation immigrant from Mongolia and be named "Bolormaa" from now on. Soyolma's would remain the same except for changing her birth date and her parental details

  While she was gone, Babusha and Dedushka would say a very long farewell. They knew by the time I got well enough to leave the hospital, they would be long gone in another federal subject. Babushka said:

  "You may not be our biological child, but you felt the most like one. Our daughter and granddaughter were both influenced by the man in their family to become an evil, twisted being like this. We were this close to giving up on our own family until you came along, the misunderstood young soul sticking with Mandukhai whenever she ran from home. You may see yourself as a failure. But you are far from one in our eyes. Someday, people will notice the flicker in your soul and will gravitate towards it like we did. You never failed to make us feel proud, even when you didn't mean to."

  Dedushka took her hand and added, barely holding his own tears

  "Take care of Soyolma for us, Vnuk. And we hope for you two to escape from your domestic prison someday. Farewell, Mikola Vyachorka. Here is our telephone number. Contact us whenever you have time."

  They left the room very slowly, constantly looking back for me to decide to close the door.

  These 2 had nurtured and looked after me for the past 6 years. The amount of love they poured into me can only be matched by Mama and Tatiana's. I'll miss you, Babushka and Dedushka, thanks for everything

  Vadim previously left the room to give us some privacy. He re-entered it, and he had something to say

  He waited for my tears to dry up before saying words I will never forget

  "Mikola, when I first saw you in 1995, sobbing at your doorstep, I saw myself. Half of my family had their lives taken in one night by a horde of criminals. For months, I was so devastated I couldn't even murmur a single letter without breaking down in tears. However, by the time I hit 17, something snapped inside me. I stopped being sad and started to crave for revenge. My sole mission in life now is to become a police officer and to protect others' loved ones. I graduated from university with a law degree and became and joined the force shortly after. So when I saw a child devastated at the loss of his family, I couldn't watch it anymore; I refused to let someone follow my footsteps.

  "And when I saw you unconscious, lying on top of hundreds of glass shards, you have no idea how scared I was. It's not just anyone I failed to protect, but it's the same gang from years ago, and the kid whom I promised"

  I was speechless, not that I could speak anyway, but still, I had no idea I mattered so much to this random guy. He read my face anyway and gave me another promise

  "I'll contact Chita in a few days, and we will not rest until we have everyone in that gang behind bars. I promise. Also, you may not be thanking me in the far future about the name change."

  If the last two days had taught me anything, it was that nothing about ordinary life would feel ordinary again\

  I would rapidly heal over the past few days and became well enough to leave the hospital in 4 days. Mandukhai(now Bolormaa) picked me up with Soyolma in our SMZ and drove back home. Once we got home, she introduced me to my new identity

  This is it. Today would mark the beginning of a new life.

  Okay, that's about enough of Mikola for now. Let's travel 4000km west to the other Vyachorkas

  The 3 would go on to build stable lives thanks to their degrees. 1998 hit them hard, too, but just like the Federation itself, they recovered pretty quickly. Still, Tatiana continued to send letters every day to the old address for multiple years. And every time, she would be responded to with... nothing. But she knew he was alive... somehow, his death had never been reported to any of the 3 older siblings

  It got to a point when Tatiana had enough waiting for a response. She contacted her brat and siestra, saved up loads of money on their own ends, and started an investigation in early 2002 with one goal: to find their little brother.

  Unfortunately for the Vyachorkas, they would be too late

  A group of detectives and officers came to the town, met up with the council, and requested to see Mikola Vyachorka's records. The council, now a different man, handed it out in confusion but cooperatively

  At first, it looked promising. Sure, it wasn't a lot, but it kept going after March 1995. They kept scrolling until they saw he had a kid in 1996?? At 19??

  He got a job in 1997

  Borrowed some amount of money from the bank in 1998

  Paid back said money in 1999

  Got promoted in 2000

  Got hospitalized in 2001

  And...that's it? What happened after he was hospitalized?? Did he die?

  "I... don't know," the man said.

  "Let's see the records of his daughter and her mother."

  "Uhh... okay? as he handed them another folder

  Both ends at the same time in late 2001

  "Where was their address?"

  "Here, it's a farm about 6 kilometers(10 miles) from here"

  The group of detectors and officers drove to the location, and saw it...abandoned

  They eventually concluded that the farm was last inhabited very recently, about 7-10 months ago

  After remembering that last detail about Mikola(being hospitalized). They began assuming all 3 had their lives taken. So they went to the police department for confirmation

  This just so happened during a time when the only staff member who knew of Mikola's whereabouts(Vadim) was having a meeting in Chita. And he had told all of his fellow colleagues that Mikola did not make it

  So...that's what they told the group of detectives

  And just like that, the worst fear of the 3 siblings had been confirmed. Mikola Yegorovich Vyachorka was deceased