“Ugh… Look at these fucking… Beatle Saint King recently went to the United States capital… talking shit to Mister Doughnut Trumpet. Well, let me tell ya something, Beatle. You are an absolute fucking disgrace, breaking into the house of our good and all encompassing president. That’s harassment, FEMINIST!!! MARXIST FUCK!!! I also heard he’s Bi. I got nothing against the gays, but the dems? Fuck, man! Response?”

  “Hello? Is this thing on? Yeah… Um… I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about nor what you stand for.”

  “What? The fuck? The United States of America has nothing to do with you.”

  “Then stay the fuck away from Grassland. Simple as that.”

  “You can’t fucking make us do that.”

  “Listen, lil bro. I have fought countless battles and wars… Have you actually been in the field before, you disgraceful incelous fuck? Have you?”

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  “I’ve been at war with feminists.”

  The audience laughed.

  “Well. I, Beatle Saint King… think you Westerners are honestly a joke. I don’t… care… about any of this political nonsense… All you people want is to feed your salivating greed… and forcing our kind out, misrepresented by fucking immigrants. I don’t care what your race is, whether you’re white, black, Asian… All I care about is that America is invading other countries now, and your support for this leader is a humiliating proof for humanity that i should have raptured you all to begin with. I have that power, yet I won’t, because I give a shit about every single one of you.”

  The audience was silent.

  “That’s fucking woke.”

  “What does woke even mean…?” sighed Beatle, facepalming.

  800 years of misery, death, war, and Humanity’s Messianic Ice Age later…

  “The world didn’t listen…” sighed Beatle, standing on the garbage dump that was once the greatest nation of Earth. Just an endless void of ice was before him all the way toward the horizon. “This land meant freedom… in the end… It led to… whatever this is…”

  Black Sabbath tears up and grabs his shoulder. “You tried.”

  “But I didn’t succeed…” Beatle lifted a pack of charcoal and mammoth meat, before they flew back to the Philippines.