Chapter 3: Drinking Game

  “BURNING BURNING BURNING!!! EVERYTHING IS BURNING!!!” sang Chris. “SCORCHING SCORCHING SCORCHING!!! EVERYTHING IS-!!!”

  “Stop… singing that fucking song, dumbass!” boomed Jedan.

  “Wait. Both of you shut up,” said the Reaper, eyeing a bar.

  The Reaper, Slime Tutorial, and Lord Marvel enter as the metallic sliding doors open, detecting their body heat according to the Reaper’s tongue, who tasted the radiation.

  The trio sat on three high stools. The Reaper turns to the bartender. “We’re foreigners. Give us something compatible with our carbon-based bodies.”

  “You three from Earth?” asked the bartender, pouring them some sort of blue-shade alcohol from a glass bottle.

  “Mhm. We killed a bandit. He told us this place was a sanctuary of sorts.”

  “That we are,” the bartender spat in the shot glass and cleaned it with a tissue.

  “That’s fucking unhygienic-...” said Slime Tutorial, as the Reaper kicks him in the shin.

  “Don’t mind him. He’s face blind and stupid,” the Reaper explained.

  “Fuck me…” grunted Slime Tutorial.

  Lord Marvel takes a look at the frog-like bartender. ”So you’re a palaka, huh?”

  “I’m what the locals call a Gapemaw.”

  Lord laughs. “That name’s stupid!”

  “Means I eat dumbasses like you for breakfast,” the bartender slammed his fingers on the table.

  “This guy’s hysterical!” smiled and laughed Lord.

  The bartender sighs in frustration and walks toward the back of the bar.

  The trio are given three shots each, with each drink having an aroma of whiskey mixed with ginger ale and honey.

  They drank three shots and slammed the shots on the table, obviously tired from the journey.

  “Holy fuck, that was dehydrating…” Slime Tutorial complained, eyes twitching and lips puckering from the prickly taste of whatever they just drank.

  “You like it? AEsir Mead, they call it,” laughed the bartender.

  The Reaper fixed his throat a bit. “It’s whatever.”

  Meanwhile, Slime Tutorial and Lord Marvel are absolutely disgusted. Slime Tutorial runs outside, puke spurting out of his face like a fountain, before puking into a barrel.

  Lord Marvel swallows his own puke.

  “You Humans sure are fucking weird,” said the bartender.

  Slime Tutorial falls face-first and stands right back up. He points his finger right at the bartender’s face by stretching his arm across the bar. “LISTEN, FROGGY!!! RACIST FROG MAN!!! Did you or DID YOU NOT… Just poison us!? Because if you did, I’LL REPORT YOU TO YOUR PLANET’S FOOD DEPARTMENT!!! AND WHERE IN GOD’S NAME IS THE FOOD INSPECTOR!?!? ANY YELP ARTISTS AROUND HERE!?!?”

  “Jesus Christ, will you shut the fuck up?” asked the Reaper. “Where are we, exactly?”

  “You’re in one of the Hellish Worlds. Planet X. A planet that hosts the Elder gods, whom the Monotheist’s God challenged eons ago. Planet is the size of a Red Giant. Half’s a city utopia, the other’s a burning desert where squatters like yours truly live on. The desert is honestly safer than the city. And I take it you’re plannin’ to go there, yeah?”

  ”Do they have ships?”

  “The planet orbits the entire Multiverse several times light’s speed. Take a ship that could leap you into your world. There are docks in the city. Then again, gods don’t take too kindly to mortals.”

  “I heard a couple of mortals killed gods.”

  “They did. But they’d just respawn in the Omniverse’s Prime Forge. Doesn’t matter.”

  “Welp, we’re goin’...” said the Reaper.

  “Can we please rehydrate!?” asked Slime Tutorial.

  Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

  The Reaper tosses a coin toward the bartender, where the bartender tosses the pair a couple of canned drinks: Water.

  “Coulda just given us this…” sighed Jedan.

  Chris just drinks it all the way, opening the can and drinking all of them.

  “Damn. Bandit was holdin’,” smiled Jedan, following after the Reaper.

  The Reaper, Slime Tutorial, and Lord Marvel finally reach the city, which is heavily walled.

  “We need a way to get in-...”

  The Reaper grabs Slime Tutorial and Lord Marvel, and immediately, they’re inside.

  “You can-!” yelled Jedan. “You have another type of Usog!?”

  “Kinda…” said the Reaper, sighing.

  The trio sees a massive and beautiful cityscape complete with beautiful fountains and parks, with so-called gods, younger ones, skateboarding and riding hoverboards while listening to music from their earpieces. The city looks like a paradise, with people walking in the streets wearing astoundingly beautiful clothes while several others wore regular suits and costumes. This city is only known as Olympus.

  Meanwhile, the three heroes are obviously met with eyes that stung their very existence. They are obviously ignored here. Their kind may also be unwanted by some, simply by the gaze of the other gods’.

  The Reaper is horrified, seeing the flag and banner that had captured the city for a longe while now…

  A PENTAGRAM.

  “Fuck…” said the Reaper.

  “GET THEM!!!” yelled a Royal Guard, who wore a Superman-esque outfit. “THEY’RE THE VISITORS FROM A WORLD BELONGING TO THE BLACK SPIRAL!!!”

  The Reaper, Slime Tutorial, and Lord Marvel hold their fists up, before being knocked unconscious

  Chapter 4: A New Hopelessness

  “Wake them up,” said Spazura, where the trio are beaten to the point where they jolt to the waking world. “Why the fuck are three Black Spiral rebels here? You three are in serious trouble…”

  “Sorry…” said the Reaper. “We only want to get back home.”

  Spazura just stares at the Reaper.

  “We… We came here as the Black Spiral placed us here likely out of punishment for rebelling against them.”

  “State your faction,” said Spazura.

  “We’re-...” said Slime Tutorial.

  “Mercenaries…” said the Reaper.

  Spazura sneers. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Well, we are. Unless you want to have a go,” said the Reaper, squinting his eyes.

  “Your son must be very, very disappointed in you, huh?” asked Spazura.

  The Reaper’s eyes widen.

  “Miguel Kojoji…” said Spazura.

  “Wait, YOU’RE MIGUEL KOJOJI!?!?” asked Slime Tutorial.

  “Holy shit…” said Lord.

  ”Look at you. Pretending to be a god in broad daylight… Pretending to be one of us where at night you moonlight as some Halloween-costume-wearing vigilante.”

  “My parents were eaten by Aswangs before me when I was younger,” said the Reaper.

  “So, you used to hunt Aswangs… a highly discriminated kind in your world…”

  “I stopped.”

  “But was that enough? My little animal?” smiled Spazura. “You bring shame to the gods. Just another idol flawed by his madness.”

  “I don’t stand for idolatry. It’s a mask so-...”

  “You can keep being what you really are. You ARE the mask. You’re a killer who enjoys killing.. An animal. What makes you any different from us? Hm?”

  “Shut up!” boomed the Reaper.

  “No wonder your son abandoned you…”

  The Reaper remembers…

  SPLAT. CRACKKKK. CRUNCHHH.

  These are the sounds that came from the bones of a supervillain the Reaper was torturing.

  “Dad? What the hell are you doing?” asked Miguel Azral, now moonlighting as the Aswang.

  “He’ll live. Just broke his bones. He’s young.”

  “But people don’t deserve to be-!”

  “SHUT UP!!!” yelled the Reaper. “This motherfucker is a fucking drug addict who killed and elderly woman. He deserves to pay.”

  Miguel sees that a boy, likely the man’s son, stood at the corner, staring and stunned by fear. “Not like this…”

  The Reaper beats the man.

  “DAD!!! STOP!!!” yelled Miguel. “The kid’s watching!”

  “Good. Then he won’t act like his Dad,” said the Reaper, coldly, as Miguel backs away.

  The Reaper turns to Miguel. “Kid…”

  Miguel just shook his head. “I’m cutting myself off from you, Dad.”

  “KID!!! NOOO!!!” The Reaper cried out, as Miguel leaped off the window and flew away with his wings.

  Back to the present…

  The Reaper fell to his knees, lips quivering and eyes tearing up.

  “You two… What makes you tick? Hm?” asked Spazura.

  Spazura inserts his fingers into Jed’s brain and sees…

  Jedan is seen kneeling over a pool of blood. He sees his parents’ faces, mangled with C’thulhu’s face emerging from their skull.

  “Your parents were dealing… with someone… I knew… who was dangerous… And he rightfully cleansed them from your Earth… And you had to watch them… became a Splooge addict to wipe away your tears.” Spazura turns to Chris. “How about you?”

  Chris fell to his knees.

  “Your father kicked you out of the house… and you were experimented on by a group of evil scientists when looking for a job…”

  Chris screams on the medical table while injected by the Splooge…

  “Heh… No wonder you’re all so fucked…” Spazura sneered.

  Spazura sneers, teleporting back into his throne as he stomps down the staircase.

  “Why’d you teleport back to your throne to go back stomping back to us from your throne?” asked Chris.

  “That was just an illusion. He used his brainwaves on-... CHRIST SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!” boomed the Reaper.

  Spazura loomed over the Reaper. “You. Both of you deserve to die… for even thinking about stepping into this city.”

  “If people are meant to die for thinking things, I should’ve died a long time ago…” The Reaper activates his bone armor and charges toward Spazura, who grabs the Reaper and shatters the Reaper’s bones by pointing his finger and slamming the Reaper into the ground, shredding him down.

  Jedan and Chris back away as the Reaper digs himself out of the ground, growling at the royal guards.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” yelled Jed. “Just… We need to get back home, man! C’mon!”

  “Hm…” smiled Spazura, pointing her finger at them, only for them to hear a loud noise from the distance.

  Suddenly, a bee-themed Superhero lands before them.

  The Reaper is utterly confused by encountering him. “Who the fucking shit are you?”

  “I AM HAPPY HORNET!!!” smiled Happy Hornet.

  “You mean… the restaurant chain mascot?” asked the Reaper.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” asked Slime Tutorial.

  Lord Marvel points at him. “HE LOOKS SO FUCKING STUPID!!!” He laughed.

  “HEY, HONEY… I’M HOOOOME!!!” Happy Hornet beams out several bee drones that feast on the flesh of the royal guard gods, where Happy Horney offers his hand to them. “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANNA-!!!”

  Spazura teleports next to Happy Hornet, but Happy blasts stingers into his eyes. A plague of bees clouds the entire room until everyone is gone.

  Spazura roars. “FIND THEM!!! BEFORE MORNINGSTAR FINDS OUT!!!” he boomed, as the remaining royal guards salute and march out of the palace…