The morning sunlight was dyed an earthy yellow by the rising dust. The massive bulldozer, like a violent iron-clad rhino, spewed black smoke. Its tracks crushed the gravel road, emitting a tooth-aching friction sound as it bore down straight for John’s teetering container apartment.

  Fat landlord Bob stood beside the bulldozer, waving a red "Mandatory Execution Order," the fat on his face trembling with excitement.

  "Push it! Level this pile of junk! If that damn pauper doesn't come out, bury him inside as fertilizer!"

  The bulldozer’s shovel raised high, aiming for the broken door that had just been repaired.

  *BOOM—!*

  The shovel smashed down viciously.

  But the expected scene of flying wood chips and twisting metal didn't happen.

  A split second before the shovel made contact with the door panel, the seemingly fragile door suddenly retracted inward at a speed that defied physics, as if someone had yanked it open.

  The shovel hit nothing but air.

  The massive inertia carried the bulldozer into a violent lurch forward.

  *THUD!*

  The front wheel of the bulldozer pressed onto a seemingly ordinary floor tile.

  Beneath that tile lay the "Leverage Pedal" meticulously designed by Lu Ban.

  *CREAK—*

  The floor tile flipped up instantly, engaging a thick spring buried underground. The other end of the spring was connected to a large iron barrel filled with...

  Expired industrial lubricant (stolen by Bone from the scrapyard last night), rotten banana peels, and a bucket of sour swill left over from yesterday.

  *SPLASH—!*

  Under the action of leverage, the iron barrel acted like a giant catapult, tracing a perfect parabola and dumping its contents precisely onto the bulldozer's cab.

  The cab window wasn't fully closed.

  The liquid, a mix of motor oil smell, rotting food stench, and inexplicable sourness, instantly flooded the entire cab.

  "URGH—! What is this?! My cologne!"

  The driver, a Guild elite operator who usually prized cleanliness, was instantly drenched like a drowned rat. Half a rotten watermelon rind sat on his head, and his body was slick with oil.

  More fatally, the lubricant flowed onto the control levers.

  His hand slipped.

  *ZZZT—!*

  The bulldozer spun violently, actually starting to drift in place.

  "AHHH! Brakes! Where are the brakes?!"

  The driver scrambled to step on the brake pedal, forgetting that the soles of his boots were also covered in oil.

  His foot slipped and stomped directly onto the throttle.

  *VROOM—!*

  The out-of-control bulldozer, like a crazed bull, spun around and charged straight toward Bob and the demolition team standing behind it.

  "Holy shit! Where are you driving?! That's me!"

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  Bob was scared out of his wits. He turned to run, but how could his obese body outrun a machine?

  *BANG!*

  The bulldozer crashed into a roadside fire hydrant before finally coming to a halt. The gushing water column soaked Bob to the bone, washing away the gold dust on his expensive suit and revealing his bulging belly underneath.

  "Damn it! This is murder! Attempted murder!" Bob flailed in the water, looking as pathetic as a wet dog.

  "Bwahahaha!"

  Behind the second-floor window, Bone laughed so hard his jaw nearly fell off (it actually did; he quickly popped it back in).

  "Boss! Did you see that? Doesn't that fat guy swim like a toad?"

  John sat on the windowsill, holding a cup of hot tea. Through the surveillance feed Grace had hacked, he was enjoying a 360-degree view of the farce downstairs.

  "This is called 'Physics-based Persuasion'." John blew on the tea leaves. "Master Lu Ban said this is called 'using their force against them.' The harder they try, the harder they fall."

  "It's not over yet." Grace's holographic head popped out from behind the teacup, a wicked grin on her face. "That was just the first floor's 'Welcome Gift.' Next up is the 'Buffet'."

  Downstairs, the enraged demolition team didn't retreat.

  "Charge! Everyone get in there! That was an accident! Smash the door! Take them alive!"

  The leading security captain wiped the mud from his face and led a dozen fully armed thugs charging toward the main entrance.

  This time, the door didn't dodge.

  But the moment the burly man kicked the door...

  *PSSSH—!*

  A cloud of red mist suddenly sprayed from the top of the door frame.

  It wasn't poison gas.

  It was... Bird's Eye Chili Powder, bought with John's entire savings and ground by Bone overnight to a concentration of 1000%.

  "Cough! Cough! My eyes! My eyes are blind!"

  The thugs in the front row instantly fell to the ground, rolling and covering their faces, tears and snot flowing uncontrollably. The spicy stimulation made them feel like they had shoved their heads into a pot of boiling hotpot base.

  "Water! Give me water!"

  Someone fumbled around, trying to find a tap.

  They saw a water pipe in the corner of the courtyard.

  Several men scrambled over, fighting to turn the handle.

  *POP—POP—POP—!*

  What sprayed out wasn't water.

  It was a barrage of colorful... Bouncy Balls?

  This was the "Chain Mechanism" designed by Lu Ban. The water pressure didn't push water; it triggered a launch chamber loaded with thousands of rubber bouncy balls.

  The balls bounced wildly in the narrow courtyard, hitting faces, legs, and stomachs.

  Though not lethal, the dense, hail-like strikes, combined with the ground made slippery by the earlier spray...

  The scene spiraled into chaos instantly.

  The elite Guild thugs, usually well-trained and arrogant, now looked like a bunch of drunks falling over in a ball pit.

  Someone stepped on a bouncy ball and sat down hard—right onto a pre-placed, heavy-duty glue trap (rat board).

  *RIIIIP—*

  His pants tore open, revealing red underwear printed with little bears.

  Someone tried to stand up but grabbed a rope nearby.

  *CLATTER!*

  A huge net dropped from above, filled with empty aluminum cans.

  Hundreds of cans smashed onto their heads, clanging loudly. It didn't hurt much, but the humiliation level was off the charts.

  "Enough! That's enough!"

  The security captain finally broke down. He covered his swollen, red eyes; a glue trap was stuck to his pants, an aluminum can sat on his head, and he held a tissue half-soaked in chili-induced snot.

  He looked up at the young man leisurely drinking tea on the second floor, feeling more insulted than if he'd been stabbed by Zhao Yun.

  "John Doe! You despicable scum! Come down and fight me one-on-one! What kind of skill is using these dirty tricks?!"

  John put down his teacup, leaned out, and flashed an innocent smile.

  "One-on-one? Sorry, I have hemophobia."

  He pointed at the pathetic elites downstairs.

  "Besides, officers, you brought a bulldozer and electric batons to tear down my house. Is that considered an 'upper-class' tactic?"

  "I just treated everyone to a 'Buffet.' Chili, cans, and that lube... all local specialties. No need to be polite."

  "You..." The captain couldn't catch his breath and nearly fainted.

  "Retreat! Fall back!"

  Bob shouted from behind. He didn't want to stay in this hellhole a second longer. This wasn't a slum; it was a circus filled with malicious pranks!

  The demolition team ran like bears stung by hornets, abandoning their helmets and armor. The bulldozer remained stuck by the roadside, spewing black smoke.

  John watched their retreating figures, the smile in his eyes slowly fading.

  "Boss, that move was dirty," Bone marveled. "But it felt so good."

  "Yeah." John touched the wall beside him—the wall reinforced by Lu Ban, still solid and unbreakable. "But this is just the beginning. They were just disgusted, not hurt."

  "When they realize what happened, the next thing coming... probably won't be a bulldozer, but a tank."

  "What are we afraid of?" Grace waved her small fist. "Master Lu Ban left several pages of blueprints! We haven't even used the 'Ejector Toilet' and the 'Auto-Face-Slapper' yet!"

  John smiled.

  Yeah. What was there to fear?

  Since these decent people didn't want to be decent, he would help them be thoroughly indecent.

  "Bone, go collect those aluminum cans. We can still sell them for money."

  "You got it!"

  On this morning filled with the smell of gunpowder and chili, the "Nail House" of the 13th Street defended its dignity for the first time under the Guild's iron hoof.

  Even if that dignity was slightly... eye-stinging.

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