"Hey! Ow!" I recoil, pulling my wing out of Mays hand after she moved one of the joints sideways and managed to pop something. The sudden motion also pulls her forward to fall onto my back, all but draped over me for a moment before she recovers.

  "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She lingers a little bit too long for what I imagine would be a reasonable time to recover…and I find that I don't terribly mind. As such, I opt to not rush her and just enjoy the close contact. She does extract herself after a few moments though, and when I turn around I see her blushing a little bit, but looking away from me.

  "It's alright. I've just never tried to bend my wing that specific way before, it felt really unnatural even before the spike of pain." I settle back into the chair she's been having me use — a strange thing with its back braced with open slats that are able to be turned and shifted to hold wings and other extremities in place.

  "Right, noted. Some avikyn need to have their muscles around their wings stretched like that, but they also have wings that are integrated into their arms so they have a greater range of motion than yours. Another test to mark down as a failure. I'll give you a good massage yet, promise." The look she gives me when she turns around makes me take my own turn looking away and blushing. She's got this sort of gregarious energy about her that I'm finding it all but impossible to not focus on and think about…basically all the time.

  "Why are you so focused on this massage thing, anyways? It's not going to help my wing, will it?" I draw my right wing forward, feeling at the uneven membrane that's been slowly coming back over these weeks.

  "Oho! She of little faith." May sits down back behind me and gestures for me to give her my wing back by wildly shaking her open hand at me expectantly. I oblige and am immediately rewarded by tiny pulses of pleasant tingles wherever her fingers trace. It definitely doesn't make my breath catch while flooding my brain with all kinds of sordid thoughts. "Massages are essential for quality long term healing." I can hear the eyebrow wiggle at the word essential and let out a small groan — confirming my half of the now-ritual. "Essence flows through your entire body — not just your veins. So loosening up muscle groups and suchlike lets everything work better. It's also good for mental health."

  I close my eyes and listen to the explanation as she starts to go on about the specific magical theories at play. All while basking in the physical sensations as she works her hands over the scales and membrane of each wing in turn. These appointments have steadily grown into my favorite day of the week. I need to ask May if she's able to fit in a second day for me.

  "I take it that it's working?" She asks through what sounds like a smug smile. "I can't say I've ever heard a person purr before. Or maybe that was more of a groan? Moa—"

  My face flares an even deeper red and I feel the heat just wash off of me as I cut her off. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do anything strange. I just got really relaxed and started thinking and—"

  "Don't worry, I'm only teasing. You're very easy to tease, you know that?" She prods the center of my back once. "I am just about wrapped up with today's treatment, though."

  The comment makes me refocus, realizing that I didn't even feel her do her infusion into my wing while I was relaxed. "How'd you do that without me noticing? Normally I feel it when you do it. I can't not, really." Normally the infusion of Hyrdus and Ignia has a fair bit of the stuff compound into Fervora in my body pretty quickly after she does it. It's impossible to ignore when the "essence of passion" starts to run around my body unchecked for a little while.

  But the truth of it is pretty clear. I feel it running around and when I turn around I feel the 'side effects' taking hold. It's makes it nearly impossible to not track my eyes over her. Her soft green eyes that shine the color of her life essence affinity, the joyful little smirk at pulling one over on me, the way her clothes hug her athletic figure.

  I have to wrench myself away from staring at her — it's becoming a problem even if she says it's fine. Even more than being potentially inappropriate, it's embarrassing. I am supposed to be able to control myself better than this. I need to control myself better than this. I have to take care of Olly and Lilly. Being a scatter-brained fool isn't going to help anyone.

  "And you're beating yourself up, aren't you?" Her hand very gently ghosts onto mine. The sort of soft touch that is very much a question. I nod, answering both questions. "Well, stop that. Ayre, I promise you that whatever you're feeling is fine. I understand your situation. You're adjusting to a bunch of new things right now and having some confused feelings is normal." Her voice is gentle, soothing. And alongside it she places her hand more fully atop my own to offer that physical support.

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  "Can I ask you a question? It's really embarrassing, so it's fine if you say no." I eke out through the storm of conflicting emotions.

  "Of course. Point of fact, I would rather you just ask, rather than asking to ask. You're not going to bother me with any questions — I promise you that." She goes serious as she answers, meeting my eyes firmly and with a small smile.

  "I have been feeling things around you that I really don't know how to define. I've…never really felt this way before, so I'm struggling to put it into words. But I feel like I'm just…poorly armed to do so. I know I'm no good at dealing with people, but… I guess what I'm asking is…" I flounder, struggling to actually figure out the question I even wanted to ask through this damnable hammering in my chest from the passion essence. "Nevermind. I should probably go." I stand, extracting my wings from the chair and hand from Mays to stand up and step towards the door.

  I have no earthly idea why I'm feeling like this. I've tried passion essence infusions in the past through Lilly as a birthday gift. They never made me feel like this.

  "Ayre, please don't walk away like that. How about you and I go and get lunch? The rest of my day is wide open and I've been hoping to talk to you about some things. Outside of medicine, I mean. You mentioned it the other day and I've been thinking about it."

  "I don't know very many places around here and I wouldn't really want to drag you into this mood of mine. It's alright, I'll just go."

  I step closer to the door but she grabs my hand, holding on loosely — the kind of hold that's very much not trying to restrict me.

  I could easily pull away if I wanted to.

  But…do I?

  "Are you thinking you're not good enough for me again?"

  Mays demanding words spear through my thoughts with the same surety that she always manages. I don't think she can read minds but I'm starting to wonder. She also reaches over and baps me on the top of the head gently.

  I reopen my eyes and take another sip of my drink — something that tastes vaguely of melon and cucumbers with a spicy kick. "I don't like to lie, so I choose to not answer."

  In response, she kicks me under the table. Quite firmly at that. Lapin generally have very well developed legs, so it actually makes me sputter out an 'ow' in pain and hit my head on the little rainbow parasol above us. "Why'd you do that?" I demand, reaching down to nurse my ankle while putting up a pouty mien.

  "Because you apparently learn better when stuff hits you. You keep telling me all about how much you learn from every fight you get in, so I guess if I'm going to break you out of this idiocy I need to hit you, you dolt." She reaches across the little table to flick me on the nose. The flick carries a spark of essence that tingles pleasantly and makes its way down to my ankle, soothing the slight ache quickly. She shifts back to her normal affable mien quickly enough, though, and follows. "Have I told you why I enjoy being around you so much? Well, one of the big important reasons, at least. The list is actually quite long and getting longer most days."

  My interest is piqued, so I lean in. I'm always trying to do better at all this "people" stuff since I'm just really not. I do dread the day that May or Lilly find my journal where I keep all my notes about them to keep in mind. "Please share. Maybe it'll help me learn."

  She shoots me a smirk before continuing. "Ayre, I've had a problem my entire life. I suffer a deficiency of Ignia despite my affinity being what it is because I have an incredibly strong affinity for Ordo. I spend most days feeling woefully neutral. It leaves me feeling generally cold compared to everything else around me most of the time. I usually avoid telling people about it because the way I deal with it is…objectionable."

  She trails off looking uncertain, so I jump in with a guess. "Is it that infusion thing you do? I know I've seen you do it a couple times before we go out."

  May grimaces, "Yeah. That's it. I do low-intensity infusions of Fervora most days. It helps me feel…well, anything, really. But it's not something I do casually or flippantly. I need to be clear with you about that." Her voice goes a little frantic, showing some insecurity I've never seen in her before. There's a pleading behind her eyes as she says it, so I reach over and take her hands and hold them.

  "May, you've spent your life studying this stuff. You've developed a treatment for yourself and shared it with others. I would never judge you for that."

  The relief that washes over her face settles every bit of uncertainty I've been having. At least, until I see her start to tear up. That reintroduces the uncertainty again for a moment until she starts giggling. A tide of emotions that she seems to work through by herself after a little bit.

  "Sorry, I'm fine. I was just realizing I failed to actually say what I meant to say and then you hit me with that very romantic line and I started feeling all sappy." She wipes her eyes on a pinched section of her little yellow sundress. "Every time I've spent time around you, I feel a lot better. Even if I haven't had an infusion. There's just something about you that is warming, I guess. It's why I like holding your hand so much and one of the reasons I always push for massages. You make me feel a lot more 'whole'. It's just as simple as that."

  She holds, looking at me as we sit hand in hand. On reflex, I try to open the gates in my spirit a little wider to give that warmth my kind always do when we touch. Just to help. If I can help, I want to.

  May, terrifyingly, starts to lean forward with a widening smile

  "Oh."

  It's all I manage to say before one of the two of us decides that right now is the time to try out that kissing thing for the first time.

  As it turns out, I'm quite a fan of it.