Writing this down so I don’t say it out loud and curse anyone with death or something because they’re being so dumb. Father said that the mortal knowledge of the War of Heroes was lessened by time, but to not even know the name “the Demon King”? It’s so theatrical and simple. How could an entire world have forgotten it? Sure, it may have been thousands of years ago, but that doesn’t really matter! Stories still exist over those time periods! I mean, even the people of this country still live at the base of a world tree! They haven’t grown in forever, but they’re still fixtures of storytelling!
Father said that they spent long years excising the King’s influence on the world, but they can’t have been so thorough that her mark on history is just gone, right? The hellions still exist on the world! Do people not wonder where the demon-blooded mortals of the world come from? It’s in their name. They have the blood of the Demon King! Where do they think the name comes from? People badger the Sidhe and Elves for their fae heritage still today, there’s no way that that same prejudice doesn’t extend to the hellions!
Ahhh! It makes me want to scream. But I guess I can’t really get mad at Olly or Ayre. Olly doesn’t know anything and Ayre only reads boring books like dictionaries and magical theses. I need to educate them, but how? I can’t bring up what they did because that would warrant a discussion of her origins and Father’s Decree forbids it. ”None of the court may speak of the antithetical source or her deeds”
Something to think about when I’m not mad.
[Journal Entry: Pretty Stuff]
After living life in the fae lands and the woods surrounding them, I think I got too used to the majesty of nature and the handcrafted sights of the Court’s lands. Initially, I was feeling very, very disappointed when I started seeing rows of neatly planted crops and trees. Streets on grids, repeating building facades. Everyone wearing similar clothes, buildings painted similar colors or built with similar materials.
I thought it was all so boring. After all, why conform? Why live with the mundane? If one place like this is so mundane and boring, then I guess everywhere has to be, right? If people are so comfortable, all being the same, then that must just the norm.
But, as I’ve looked around, I think I’ve been judging a book by its cover. I am, in a word, disappointed with myself.
My first time out and about, and I immediately found myself with a prejudiced viewpoint about beauty. Father, Weaver, Caoimhín, and everyone else would be very disappointed in me. And for good reason.
As I watch out the window, I see people going by. They all wear subtly different clothes. There might be a particular style that’s “in”, but there’s tons of personality within how people express it.
The streets aren’t as tight of a grid as I initially thought, and each building is full of distinctions. Touches of personality like flowers in the window, particularly colorful underwear hanging on a line, or even something as simple as years of uncared-for wear and tear on the facade.
These and many other things that I failed to notice. Failing to notice is something I’m finding myself doing a lot of recent. I think I might just be letting myself get overwhelmed with all of the “new” happening around me. I've allowed myself too many distractions, especially regarding him. I can't be meddling! Fae are supposed to observe and nudge.
But Olly says he doesn't think I'm meddling, and while he doesn't have much context into the word, he also doesn't have any predefined notions of it either.
Is he right about the other thing?
Is it really any better to not intervene when you can help someone? The choice to watch it happen is just as much of an action as choosing to intervene. I think at least.
Logically, his statement makes a kind of sense for the mortal races. Of course, they wouldn't like non-intervention as a policy, but that's only natural for people with finite lives. We don't meddle because of the larger implications! All of the Courts agreed on it!
But I did… Father even said as much. And he was right. Yet, he didn't scold me for it. He was firm, sure, but he didn't come down on me like he normally would have. Much the opposite! He freed me from my duties to go out and see the world like he had in those long millennia acting as the Traveller persona he so loves.
Was he not meddling that entire time? He went out of his way to help people, he led the mortals against the Demon King…
I don't know. Meddling seemed like such a cut and dry concept when I was looking at the world through the pages of books. I can see exactly where the authors' hand could have nudged events and set them down a different path, but out here? There's just too many factors. What is or isn't meddling when not intervening is just as much of an influential choice as intervening?
My head hurts. This is something to think about when I get some spare time. Maybe find a library or a scholar or something to talk to. I could talk to Olly and Ayre, but I can't tell them most things…
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On the nature of beauty, as a final thought. I think Ayre is pretty. She's shiny and sleek and exotic and strong and smart. All very pretty qualities. Does Olly actually think she's pretty? He seemed uncertain at first. Does Olly think I'm pretty?
[Journal Entry: Pretty magical]
Magic is everywhere! And that's a bit of a duh statement since everything in the material world is made of different states and combination of essence. But I mean in society! We're in a podunk nowheresville town, and they have magical lighting and heating and self repairing and washing clothes and door locks!
Enchanting is supposed to be super hard and expensive, that's why Father's trove of legendary weapons is so notable. Enchantments and magical items are uncommon.
But they aren't, apparently. Ninety percent of the adventurers I saw had at least magical weapons and seem to capably wield magic freely.
Everyone in the world has always been able to wield magic, too, but the degree to which everyone can is baffling. What changed? Father said it was only a couple hundred years ago that the first bits of practical enchanting were being discovered. He has the first mortal wrought light bulb! That wasn't that long ago, right?
Ayre's books on magical theory are the newest things I know about and that's because they came from Father's collection, and they definitely never mentioned magic self heating cups! That's too convenient to not reference: it's great for so many drinks!
I'm going to need to write all of the examples of magic items I see and bring a list to Weaver. She's the best enchanter I know by leagues, maybe she'll have insights. Whenever I go home again.
How long is that going to be? Father seemed to think it would be a while, but big journeys like this usually take, what, a couple months at most? Start to finish from the call to adventure to the epilogue. Maybe a year, tops. But we did waste a lot of time while Ayre was dragging her feet. She had a good reason, but she was definitely still dragging her feet, and now we’re behind the curve!
[Journal Entry: Pretty concerned]
I messed up! Really really really bad! I got scared by Olly seeming like he was losing control (And he wasn’t, anyways, so it was a pointless screw-up) and that seems to have seriously upset him. He left without saying anything, and now I’m sitting here watching out the window waiting for Ayre to get back.
I could go out by myself, but then I’d need to try to communicate all of what’s going on by note and that just seems insufficient. So I’m writing now to try to calm myself down as much as I can.
I have no logical reason to believe that Olly is in trouble. Odds are that he just wanted to take a walk after being cooped up in the room. That’s all. Just out for a walk.
It’s been an hour. Ayre nor Olly are back yet. Ayre said she’d be back around noon, it’s well past noon now, and I’ve been watching out the window the entire time scanning the crowd and reaching out for Olly, and I’s connection to get an idea for his current state, but either something is obfuscating it (Like me irreparably hurting his feelings by being a coward) or he’s just gotten far enough away that it’s not “reporting” anything. The connection is weak even when we’re nearby, so him intentionally distancing himself must be the cause.
Which means that is also my fault.
Why do I have to mess everything up!? All I had to do was be there for Olly. Just sit around and listen to him vent his frustrations. But no, I had to ask after him on a question he was clearly trying to avoid answering! I even knew it at the time. I pointedly acknowledged it in my head, but instead I tried to make light of it.
He is well within his rights to hate me, I think. I think I probably would if I was in his shoes and someone kept dredging up my worst possible feelings over and over again. Maybe he left the city. That would mean I ruined not just my friendship with him, but also Ayre’s.
Or…not. She’s been gone just as long as him. What if they just left? Ayre wouldn’t do that, right? She’s been getting mad with me recently, and I’ve been being unfair to her by insinuating there’s a thing between her and Olly. Why do I feel compelled to do that? It’s self-destructive and petty.
I’m all twisted up since leaving home. I don’t really know what to think or expect anymore. Am I doing the right thing? Should I even have left? Maybe this was father’s way of showing me that adventure isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Showing me the struggles that come from meddling so.
It would make some degree of sense. He always preferred indirect lessons.
I hope someone comes back soon.
[Journal Entry: Infernal]
Olly’s in possession of a great deal of the antithetical within him. Which…puts some things in context. Father’s decree said that no fae may speak of these things. But I’m hoping writing it down so I can get it out of my head and try to process what’s going on won’t be crossing a line of some kind.
What do I know?
Infernos, the antithetical essence to our Elysian essence. Where Elysia is the essence of whimsy, love, curiosity, and creation. Infernos is the essence of pragmatism, cruelty, greed, and destruction. That’s the extent of my knowledge about its aspects.
The rest of what I know is speculation from reading between the lines during Father’s stories. Infernos is the essence that came around (Either by discovery or invention) during the rise of the Demon King.
As far as I know, she was its sole practitioner. Then and since.
Father has never told me the exact details of the war — citing that the First Courts that formed in the aftermath decided it was better left in the past and that the information should remain there.
But….if it’s relevant now, can I really keep this information to myself? Whatever I’m feeling about Olly’s circumstances aside, I can’t really deny that it’s a current and active problem. If he has it, then odds are pretty good that it’s just in use somewhere. His curse had to come from something or someone, right? And even if it is just a freak accident that exposed Olly to it, it still exists.
Father’s Decree is very clear though, and I’m just as beholden to it now as I would be at home. I cannot speak of it.
Is this speaking of it? As I think about it more, I’ve actually said more about the Demon King and her influence than I think I should be able to?
Actually, can I even mention that she’s a “she”? I think common knowledge is supposed to be that the Demon King was, ya know, a king. I’ve already messed it up.
Too many uncertainties, but I feel in my heart that it’s going to come up in a bad way. I just hope that they both understand that it’s really not personal. I don’t have a choice in the matter.