Walking through the dungeon, the icy pain in Jeremy's chest slowly retreated, and he could breathe again. He'd done the right thing. At least it felt right. The goblins were insane, homicidal monsters, but it sounded like they had reason to be upset, and he couldn't help feeling that underneath their craziness, they might not be as bad as they seemed.

  If they tried to follow him, though, he'd have to kill them.

  “I can tell you're angry, Arkys,” Jeremy said. “But those creatures are ignorant, stupid, and completely insane. They are not worthy of vengeance.” He wasn't sure if the god approved or not.

  Flint appeared next to him, having lost his noncorporeal tape and returned to his usual self. “I curse the day I got stuck with you, Jeremy. Goblins are a vicious species, as prone to eating other races as to speaking to them, and while I realize humans can be evil, it's safe to say the goblins didn't break out the tea and crumpets when the two races met. I suspect you will very much regret your decision to spare their lives, and I want you to reflect on the knowledge that there are few things more worthless than an adventurer who won't kill other adventurers.”

  Jeremy shrugged. “Sure.” He entered the rat king's lair.

  ***

  Sometimes, the beginning adventurer will meet other adventurers who seem less than friendly. But have you tried bathing? Have you tried diplomacy? Have you tried reasoning with the other adventurers? Try to see things from their perspective and work to determine if common ground can be reached. If all else fails, you can always add a point to Charisma.

  Jeremy slammed Book shut and threw it against the dungeon wall. “I asked you about the rat king's treasure!”

  He sighed and went back to searching the king rat's lair. Rats were scavengers, but they never seemed to have anything he could use, and the rat king was no exception. Jeremy had received 997 dungeon coin and a couple of rat steaks, which were supposed to raise his vitality if only he could figure out how to cook them. And, of course, under Gifts and Titles, he now had Slayer of Kritchek the Mighty Rat King! Amid the junk, he found a charmed club he could barely lift, charmed for durability and to hit. A charmed broadsword and a really heavy charmed shield. All items that were worthless to him, but maybe not to Banxi? And several low to medium quality weapons that were little more than junk.

  He found a tiny drawing of a rat on a stone wall. After putting an equally tiny crown from the junk pile on the rat drawing. The crown turned two dimensional and a small compartment appeared. Inside, he found a necklace with two small, dried out, green clawed toes next to what looked like a rat tooth the size of his thumb.

  The toes Identified as

  Dried goblin toes, considered lucky in some parts of the universe.

  Jeremy laughed. He was tempted to toss them aside, but he needed all the luck he could get. The tooth Identified as

  Talisman of the Rat. Gain traits of the rat. Raises your Vitality, Climbing, and Poison Resistance. Rats are less likely to attack the wearer of this talisman. Talisman may, or may not, cause you to grow fur and whiskers.

  About time he found something useful. Jeremy put the necklace on. Behind the necklace was a vial of white liquid.

  ***

  In the last safe room before the second floor exit, Jeremy couldn't stop looking at the earth-like sun that shone down over a grass meadow with daisies. After underground for so long, even the illusion of sunshine was hard to resist. He'd hurt his vision staring at the sun if he wasn't careful.

  Banxi appeared next to him. “What did you do to your poor pack?”

  “It wasn't my fault,” Jeremy said. “Some goblins messed it up when they tried to kill me.”

  “The term goblin is considered derogatory, Jeremy. How would you feel if they called you a human dog pig?”

  “They did call me a human dog pig. But I was more concerned with them trying to kill me,” Jeremy responded. Pushing a finger through a tear in his pack. “And if the term goblin is derogatory, why do their stat sheets say goblin?”

  If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

  “They don't, if you look carefully, their stat sheets say, 'Peaceful green-skinned people of the lower caverns.' Unfortunately, the closest translation in your language is 'goblin'.”

  “Anyway, I might need a better pack,” Jeremy said. “And I have stuff to sell.”

  Banxi pulled a plain metal ring from the air. “The better the storage device, the more it will carry for you. Now this storage ring will hold 50 cubic meters of space. 200,000dc is a very reasonable price for such an item.”

  “Maybe so,” Jeremy said with a sigh. His pack should be fine with a bit of velociduck tape. “But what do you have in my price range?”

  “Why don't you start by selling me any items you don't want? I will give you 500dc for your current pack, in light of its damaged condition, I'm being very generous.”

  “Any chance you could fix it?” Jeremy asked.

  “I'm afraid the dungeon does not fix things. If you meet a skilled craftsman, you're welcome to consult with them.”

  “How about the rest of my stuff?” Jeremy pulled item after item from his pack, making a pile of weapons and shields he couldn't use.

  “Very nice, Jeremy. Looks like somebody's had some good fortune on this floor of the dungeon.”

  “Sure. How much?”

  “Hmmm,” Banxi said, looking over his stuff. “How about an even 3,000dc for everything?”

  “How much for each item?” Jeremy asked, remembering how little Banxi offered for his spear.

  “Well, your spear is still 20dc, a very reasonable price I might add. The charmed broad sword is 1000dc. The shield and club are 500dc apiece.” Banxi went through each item. “It comes out to 2,850dc, but lucky for you, I'm feeling generous.”

  “Sure,” Jeremy responded. “I think I'll keep the spear. It's been surprisingly useful. And how about 10,000dc for the rest?”

  “The price is the price, Jeremy. Take it or leave it.”

  “I worked hard to kill those monsters.”

  “You ran from those monsters and threw explosive toys at them, a tactic many would consider cheating,” Banxi responded.

  The door to the safe room opened, and eight goblins poured inside. They looked battered, but largely recovered from their previous injuries.

  Jeremy drew his sword. “I thought we had an understanding.”

  Fortunately, with his leather armor equipped and wearing his spider-silk cloak, he felt much safer.

  “Fighting is forbidden in the safe room,” Banxi said. “Any fighting and you will be forcibly evicted.”

  “From the dungeon?” Jeremy asked.

  “From the safe room.”

  “Wait,” Terod said, raising his arms, hands open, “we didn't come to fight, we came to apologize. We only tried to kill you because we thought you were a filthy human. We prayed to our god, and she told us to apologize and atone for our mistake.”

  Uh oh. “What makes you think I'm not a human?” Jeremy asked, checking his stat sheet. Sure enough, his race was still listed as human.

  “I explained it to them,” Lard Lump waddled into the safe room, looking slightly out of breath, her five assistants close behind. “You are from a new world, and you resemble a human, so the dungeon calls you human, but you are a new life form.”

  He noticed she covered her red lie detector gem ring with her other hand when she said this.

  “We're sorry,” Terod said. “You can't help how you smell and look, but no human would ever dress like you. Not that there's anything wrong with how you dress. I'm sure everyone dresses like you on your world. We have no quarrel with you or your god. We're sorry.” The other seven made sounds of agreement.

  Jeremy hmphed. He'd grown fond of his clown suit. He looked at Banxi, who shrugged, not responding.

  “I come from a new world. Where I'm from, g... I mean your kind are only found in myths and legends. I'm sorry humans are trying to kill you.” Though you probably deserve it.

  “I would like you to have this,” Terod said, walking over to Jeremy, holding up a necklace with a bone pendant with unknown symbols on it. “My mother gave me this before humans killed her. May her journey through the summer lands be warm and peaceful.”

  Jeremy did Identify:

  An amulet of protection. The previous owner's spirit inhabits it. Jeremy thought of the cloaked being Flint had fought and got chills.

  “I can't take that,” Jeremy said, knowing how he'd feel if his mother had given him such an item, especially if she'd died. Not to mention the item was haunted.

  “Please take it. It's the least I can do to atone for calling you a human dog pig and trying to kill you.”

  Jeremy took it reluctantly and put it on, not wanting to hurt the goblin's feelings.

  “Three humans and an elf killed and ate my friend. I am also on a quest for vengeance,” Jeremy said. “A quest blessed by my god. Arkys.”

  “Elves are long-lived humans with pointed ears,” said one of the goblins, spitting on the meadow. There were sounds of agreement.

  “We will exterminate all the humans and piss on their graves!” another said. There was a loud cheer.

  “Oh boy,” Flint said with a groan. “I really think you should have killed them.”