Deep in the Labyrinth, the two kobolds stood over what they believed was Jeremy's sleeping form. “Jirmy wake up! You can't sleep here! Wake up! Rat coming! Rat coming!” The kobolds nudged Jeremy's cloak with their feet.

  Jeremy breathed out a sigh of relief. “As annoying as getting woken up in the middle of the night is,” he said quietly, “it wouldn't be right to kill them for it.”

  The horse sized rat in question came snuffling through the maze. It would have ignored Jeremy's cloak, knowing no adventurer rested underneath, but rushed the two kobolds.

  Jeremy fired three arrows into the rat, killing it, and then jumped down to the floor of the labyrinth. “Fortunately for you, I wasn't sleeping,” Jeremy said to his two intruders. “Why don't you tell me why you were spying on me?”

  “Nothing, nothing,” the speaker from before said. “We were just making sure you were okay.”

  Name: Fierce Lurking Fish

  Race: kobold

  Sex: Male

  Character Class: Child Rogue

  Level: 8

  The kobold's name, as close as Jeremy could tell, was Fierce Fish. Maybe Shark? The other kobold was a Level 7 Child Rogue whose name was Spirit of Dragon. So Dragon?

  “I think we need to talk to your boss,” Jeremy said.

  Both kobolds groaned. “Please don't,” Shark pleaded. “We won't bother you again.”

  “Move it.” Jeremy used his bow for emphasis. “Back the way you came.”

  “Why are you alone in the dungeon?” Shark asked as Jeremy followed them back to the safe room.

  “Because my stupid brother pushed me through the dungeon portal,” Jeremy responded. “Before that, I didn't know dungeons existed.”

  “You are from a new world?” Shark asked.

  “So I've been told.”

  “I'm very sorry,” Shark responded. He pulled a contraption made up of many thin connected rods and expanded it so it extended to the top of the labyrinth wall.

  “What is that?”

  “This is present from Lard Lump's grandfather. He was an adventurer too.”

  “You said you were sorry. Why?” Jeremy asked the kobold as they climbed the ladder, which was surprisingly strong despite its flimsy appearance.

  “You do not know?” Shark said.

  “Don't know what?” Jeremy asked as Shark pulled the ladder up and moved it to the other side of the wall. The kobolds climbed down the ladder while Jeremy jumped from the wall

  Shark didn't answer.

  They followed the red path to the safe room.

  When they entered the safe room, it was clear the kobolds had been warned. Lard Lump stood near the entrance, waiting for him.

  “You drugged me,” Jeremy said, glaring at Lard Lump, “and you sent your people to spy on me. You're lucky I didn't kill them when they tried to wake me up.”

  The two rogues hung their heads, looking miserable.

  “It looked like he was about to die, and we couldn't learn anything if he was killed,” Shark said.

  “I gave you some tea to relax you,” Lard Lump said, glaring up at him. “You should be grateful I didn't charge you for it. Now, please excuse me.” She waddled over to the two cringing rogues and smacked both their heads, hard. “I told my people not to bother you under any circumstances. They were supposed to watch you to find your secret for entering the unknown section of the dungeon. Some would pay much coin for this information.”

  “He doesn't know the horrible fate awaiting his world,” Shark burst out.

  “What horrible fate?” Jeremy asked.

  “It would seem we both want to know something,” Lard Lump said, glaring up at him, arms folded across her belly. “Everybody but Jirmy, leave us, now!”

  Soon, Jeremy, Flint, and Lard Lump were alone.

  ***

  “Jirmy, sit. We need to talk,” she said, once her people had left. She sat on one of the giant pillows, while Jeremy sat on the pillow across from her.

  Jeremy and Lard Lump faced each other in the dungeon safe room.

  “The others do not know humans, but my family has done much business with many races, and I know the two of us have things in common. I know you are a girl.”

  Jeremy coughed, not sure what to think. Nervously, he reached down and felt his stuff. He was definitely not a girl. He looked at the kobold. “I'm sure you cast Identify on me. My stat sheet says I'm a boy.”

  “True, but when I arrived, the dungeon informed me that it would change my sex on my stat sheet if I wished, because some adventurers don't believe females belong in dungeons and will do cruel things to them should they find them. I could never pass as a male, but I can tell from your colorful clothing and penchant for pretty jewelry that you are a human female.”

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “What?” Jeremy looked at his bright, colorful clown outfit and his rings and pendant. He didn't look like a girl, did he?

  “Don't worry, Jirmy, your secret is safe,” she continued. “I would never betray a fellow female or use that knowledge to take advantage of one.”

  Flint laughed. “You might be able to convince her you're a boy. Can you tell a boy kobold from a girl kobold? But I think it would be better to use your feminine bond to get better deals from our cutthroat merchant.”

  “Now,” Lard Lump continued. “I know people who will pay a lot of coin for your knowledge of the hidden section of the dungeon. And in return for telling me, I will tell you of the fate in store for your world.”

  Jeremy turned away, thinking. “I could show you how I entered that section of the dungeon, but how would I know you were telling me the truth about my world and not making something up?”

  Lard Lump extended her hand, showing off a ring with a large red gem in it. “This gem lights up when someone lies. A useful item for doing business.”

  “Really?” Jeremy said. “I like the taste of dungeon rations.” The gem grew bright enough to light up the room. “Maybe the ring does work.” He gave it some thought. “I can't tell you now because that secret entrance to the dungeon school has saved my life once, and I may need it again. But as soon as I'm through with this floor of the dungeon, I could show you how I got through the secret entrance and tell you what's inside in exchange for your information about my world. At that point, I will no longer need to keep it a secret.”

  “Very well,” she studied him. “But in addition, you must agree to tell me if I'm forced to leave this floor of the dungeon. Once I leave this floor, I won't be able to give your secret to anyone who can threaten you since adventurers can't return to a floor they've left.”

  “Okay,” Jeremy said, extending his hand. “Shake hands?”

  “What is shake hands?”

  Jeremy explained how human friends would grasp each other's right hands and shake.

  “I do not shake hands with humans.” Lard Lump stood up. “Would you like tea?”

  “I've had enough of your tea.”

  “No, no. This is good human tea. You like this. Only 100 dungeon coin.”

  “We have a deal, Lard Lump. Tell me about my world.”

  “I will. But first, smell this tea, very good human tea.” she handed him a bag full of dry leaves.

  He smelled the bag. He guessed it smelled like tea. He wouldn't know the difference. He handed it back. “I don't usually drink tea. What I want is a burger with fries and a Pepsi.”

  “What is burger with fries and a Pepsi?”

  Jeremy explained to her the best he could what a hamburger, fries, and Pepsi were.

  “I can make that. Only 1000 dungeon coin. Very good deal.” She waddled over to her portable kitchen, smoothly setting it up again.

  “Sure you can,” Jeremy responded, exasperated. “Just tell me about my world.”

  “I will, but first I serve you food. I'm very good cook.”

  “You can't make me a burger with fries, and a Pepsi,” Jeremy said. “You don't have the ingredients, and I don't even know what's in a Pepsi. It's a closely guarded secret among my world's merchants. Do you even have pepper, mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, potatoes, ground meat from a cow?”

  “I do not have exact ingredients, but I make you something like it. Very good. I guarantee.”

  “What if I don't like it?” Jeremy asked.

  “You take one bite, and if you don't like, you return meal and you don't have to pay.” She busied herself in the kitchen. The sounds of sizzling meat and good smells filled the room.

  “One thousand dungeon coin seems like a lot. How about a female to female discount?” Jeremy asked, unable to suppress a smirk.

  “This is with female to female discount.”

  Flint groaned. “While I admire this kobold's dedication to taking your money, I'm thinking you should extricate yourself from this situation immediately.”

  “I've got to see what she makes,” Jeremy hissed back.

  In an amount of time that rivaled some of the fast-food chains he could think of, she had a feast in front of her, and he was overpowered by the smell of good food. With a small knife, she cut a bite from the burger, broke off a piece of some kind of fried tuber, and poured him a thimbleful of a bubbly drink.

  He started with the fries that didn't taste like french fries but were still very good. They had a heavy, starchy texture and crisp, nutty taste. The hamburger didn't taste exactly like the hamburgers he remembered, and the bun was flatter than what he normally ate, but the meat was juicy and very good, and the bun was crispy and tasted fantastic. The drink was cold and carbonated. It wasn't a Pepsi, but it was at least as good as one, filled with flavors he couldn't identify.

  “Eight hundred?” he asked.

  “Oh. You don't like,” she said. “I put away.”

  “Okay, okay.” Ignoring Flint's loud (to him) groan, Jeremy handed the kobold 1000 dungeon coin and took the plate of food, struggling to eat it slowly so it would last.

  Lard Lump started talking. “Thousands of years ago, my home world was filled with wonders. Water pumps powered by wind. Steam and coal powered transports that could carry hundreds of people, weapons that worked despite having no mana enhancement.” She paused for effect. “Then the dungeons came. Portals appeared. Many entered. Those who returned brought frightening news. Our world had entered the dungeon universe, and the wonders our people took for granted would soon stop working. Wind would no longer power water pumps, and coal and steam would no longer power transports. This living energy source, known as mana, would increase to the point where interdimensional rifts would form on my world. Some rifts are harmless, but others bring monsters, or if you get caught in a rift, you might even be transported to a different world. Though most beings transported to other worlds don't survive, a few do, colonizing the planet they're transported to.”

  “So you think that's happening to my world?” Jeremy asked through a mouthful of food. “How do you know the dungeons won't leave again and things go back to normal?”

  “Where dungeons come, the mana and rifts follow, always. Every world in the dungeon universe has the same story. Your people will know much hardship when monsters arrive and your weapons and devices you take for granted will stop working. In addition to monsters, your world will know shortages of food, medicine, and many other things.”

  She didn't seem to be lying, and her lie detector remained dark.

  “So that's what happened to your world?” Jeremy asked.

  “Yes. There was much hardship, and many died.”

  “Is there a way to prevent this?” he asked.

  “None I know of.”

  Jeremy looked over at Flint. “Did you know about this?”

  Flint sniffed. “I cannot be bothered with insignificant worlds like yours. I focus on the big picture.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Lard Lump asked.

  “I have this soul parasite that keeps bothering me,” Jeremy answered. “I don't suppose you have anything to get rid of it?”

  “I'm a merchant and cook,” she answered. “You need a high-level healer for that. And I've never heard of a soul parasite that could speak.”

  “As I keep saying, Jeremy,” Flint said through clenched teeth. “I am not a soul parasite. I am a corporeally challenged adventurer.”

  “Sure,” Jeremy said. “Let's say I believe you. How long is it between the time dungeons show up and monsters and rifts appear?”

  “It depends,” Lard Lump said. “The time varies from world to world. A few weeks, a few months, even years before your world completely merges with the dungeon universe. But it's certain to happen.”

  Jeremy felt sick. Having lost his appetite, he stuffed the rest of his food in his pack, where it would remain fresh.

  “What should I do?” he asked.

  “The same as all beings, you do what you need to survive,” she responded, sounding tired.