Chapter 52: Armored Panda Carrier!

  “The definition of an APC in the modern day has been blurred, mostly because of the armor and weapons needed to safeguard the passengers against other humans. A mobile base carries personnel, does that count? What about super-heavy tanks with entire crews?

  In general, the question comes down to ‘what is the purpose’? Is it to kill a ton of shit super well? That’s generally a tank or a gunship. Is it to bring people places? Alright, that’s an APC.

  If it has enough guns to take over a city, well, that’s just a nice little bonus!”

  –Online guide on passing border restrictions, anonymous, 2048.

  ***

  “So, we’re not going to get shot down by railguns, what’s next?”

  In terms of anti-missile countermeasures, many are available, but the auto-shielding can also handle most. Still, redundancy is the mother of survival in warfare. The bottom of the craft will be covered in a vibration dampening, sonar resistant, radar absorbent, laser-diffusing and light occluding stealth coating.

  It is a major feature of the class 2 catalogue, along with many countermeasures which will be equipped, such as advanced modulating flares and fully visible decoy holograms with radar signatures.

  I nodded, not that excited yet but still a little bit! “Alright, so, it’s gonna have the auto-shield, the phaser stuff, what else?”

  There will be a radar phaser array at the front for electronic warfare applications, as well as a powerful two way antenna array for electronic warfare, including an advanced long range sensor suite for threat identification and reconnaissance.

  Now, for the things you will actually appreciate as much as you should. It has two hidden mountings for auto-cannons on the back as well as a hidden retractable turret mount below. For now, due to your budget constraints, I recommend installing low-quality mountable cannons from your Class 1 Large Bore Kinetic Weapon Systems. Each side will be able to slot an HFUG to act as a retractable door-gun.

  I didn’t get hard, nop, that was someone else.

  Louis, I can see your brain chemistry. As disgusting as your biology may be, it is also premature. What makes this design much more powerful than human ones is the 80mm modular spinal-mounted multi-purpose coilgun. If you were to choose a low weight projectile, it can reach Mach 9, so powerful that it will force the APC backwards against full thrust.

  Altany left us a little pause to appreciate the insanity. “Hum… Fuck.” I said, summing up the general feeling. I could tell a few of the enforcers nearby heard that little explanation and had similar reactions to mine.

  Magnetic saturation will mean a rather low rate of fire at full-power, but you will have the option to bombard distant targets without issue. At low power, you should be able to have somewhat rapid fire, much faster than most artillery with a lot more range.

  However, what makes this feature beyond humanity’s capabilities is the extreme modularity and adaptability. Each coil is surrounded by advanced armor, further improved upon by Mole-Bear technologies, but that armor can also be deployed for a safer landing debarkation. The coils are separated by segments, all of which have space for sensors, point-defense weapons, low caliber auto-turrets, rapid-drop assistance modules, last-resort melee countermeasures, low-yield bomb droppers or anything you may imagine, really. Adding a module can be done in less than a minute, even in flight, meaning perfect battlefield adaptability.

  “Fucking hell…” Okay, had to admit, I felt impressed.

  “Welcome to the real class two shit.” Jackal said with a cocky smirk. She’d earned it since, well, she obviously had a ton more experience than I did. I was happy to get a bit of advice from her!

  “Hum… Alright, so, the armor’s good I imagine? Especially with Mole-Bear alloys?” I asked, trying to regain my composure and calm down as well as calm down. Altany’s avatar looked particularly smug.

  Less than ideal because of your price limitations, but still extremely resilient by humanity’s standards. However, said alloys have allowed for modular and extremely solid armor in a different way. The outer and inner layers are made of a similar memory-alloy as your armor cards. Thanks to this, the hull has no failure points.

  I had to think on it for a second. “So… The doors, the hidden gun mounts…”

  Instantly bind their metal with the rest of the hull to form a solid layer upon closure. Same for the landing gear. The mounts have a hole for ammunition and mechanical parts when deployed, but that is all. The inner layers are a mix of kinetic and inertia dampening gel, boron-carbide, advanced carbon-nanotube reinforced kevlar, as well as radiation, EMP and thermal shielding. It should survive a nuclear detonation depending on yield and distance.

  Also, thanks to the nature of the outer layer, it can support another being added atop it as long as the same alloy coats the inside of the new shield to bind and create a singular whole. Of course, it can shed this new layer in seconds by unbinding and letting it fall off.

  It will have a carrying capacity of 12 plus a three person crew composed of you as the pilot, someone to manage the sensors and computers, and a reloader for the various weapon systems on board. It may have standing room for twenty-four passengers if the cargo bay is empty, but you will have to take extreme care to not fire the coilgun so powerfully that you kill anyone not strapped in due to extreme deceleration.

  There is a system to close an acceleration pod around every occupant in case of rapid maneuvers, within which they will be surrounded by inertia-dampening gel.

  In the end, it is made to carry people and keep them safe. It is not meant to output vast ordnance, but protect its passengers from any and all threats, alien or human.

  “Okay, sounds fucking awesome! Thanks for keeping my order of priority in mind and, yeah, we can make it super deadly later. What’s it gonna cost?”

  The price will vary depending on armament. I will propose rather inexpensive auto-cannons, each being a mix of your Large Bore Kinetic Weapon Systems class 1 and Flying Armored Personnel Carriers class 2 catalogues, the latter including various vehicle mounted weapons.

  For the back-mounted weapons, I propose the rather generic ‘Double Trouble’, a 30mmds dual-barrel auto-cannon which is capable of firing esoteric payloads, but I recommend mostly using belts combining HE, API and DPU caseless rounds. It fires at 450 rpm and should eliminate most low-danger targets without issue. I’d propose a simple laser auto-turret for below.

  “That’s the cheap shit?” Well… Actually, yeah, compared to the rest of my guns it kind of sucked, didn’t it?

  This is of fairly low power compared to your own weaponry but it should do for now. The engine produces more than enough energy to power the HFUGs without limiters, hence if you require large quantities of firepower, it will be available. The auto-cannons are more for annoying, hard to lead and track targets that the computer can handle without your input. There are several small PDC auto-turrets, but these will not affect the price significantly.

  “Oh well, it is what it is… For now.” My evil laughter made Lila smile, mission accomplished! “So, how much?”

  7645 points. It is the lowest I could make it without sacrificing important parts of the design.

  I winced at that but… yeah, for a fucking APC? With a mother fuckton of protection for me and my friends? “I’ll take it, good job on the savings Altany, can’t have been easy.”

  It wasn’t. You’ll have much room for improvement, but this system is highly customizable. Would you like to purchase it? I recommend coming up to the surface first.

  My ears had been picking up the sound of crutches down a nearby corridor, so I decided to give Kirk a nice surprise. “Hey, who wants to see the APC!?” That got everyone moving for the door!

  Personally, I did a little sprint to arrive in front of my still healing friend! The man could now walk with crutches, his assistant faithfully at his side. His leg muscles were still a bit too atrophied to walk normally, but that was temporary!

  In his condition, I expected to lose him in the next few years, but now? Fuck me, he might have decades and decades! Fuck I loved being a samurai!

  The jump scare wasn’t being mean in my opinion. “Hey Kirk! Wanna see something cool?” I asked with a mischievous smile.

  He blinked at me for a second before apprehensively saying yes.

  So, I picked him up in a prince carry and sprinted for the stairs! Dude hadn’t felt speed in a long ass time! This was for his own good.

  Also, since the stairs were a bit full, I may have had to jump from wall to wall with boot-spikes for purchase. Obviously a necessity for expediency’s sake.

  I thought the screaming was a bit much. What a drama queen.

  When I found him a seat next to the defunct metro station’s outer wall, he looked perfectly fine… Hyperventilating and a bit nauseous, but fine overall! “Fuck… you… you.. god damn… Maniac…”

  “Love you too bud!” I answered with a big smile. People were arriving upstairs and, well, the summoning wasn’t the best part so might as well get it done! “Altany, let’s buy the thing! What it called by the way?”

  New Purchase, Panda Litter Carrier, Mark 21*2!

  Points spent… 7645!

  I took a very slow, deep centering breath, then slowly let it out. “Fuck you.”

  Love you too.

  “Didn’t know red pandas had litters, learn something new every day I guess. I’m uh… you know what? I can rename it, since it’s basically a ship, right? Yeah, that works. If anyone asks, it’s the Armored Panda Carrier, no one needs to know the model’s name, which means it’s not a lie since it’s the ship’s name! Deal?”

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  I can agree to this. While the name is amusing, it may not inspire confidence while riding into battle. I will change some of the branding, it would defeat the purpose of the agreement otherwise. It should arrive in roughly 2.1496 seconds.

  To no one’s surprise, it arrived on time. Had to admit, the design puzzled me at first glance. It already hovered a foot off the ground, whisper-quiet humming the only indication the thing was on. “Damn, you didn’t skimp on the counter-measures, no fucking way a sound based system would pick us up.”

  Thank you. It is the first layer of the defense onion, after all.

  The bottom was all black, so dark that it almost looked flat. “The super-black, what’s that for? Isn’t it going to be more noticeable?”

  The material is made to absorb and redistribute the heat of a laser fired at the ship. It would take significant power to do more than raise the temperature.

  “Awesome…” I replied absent-mindedly while examining my new APC. The whole thing had smooth lines and curves, no visible signs of any weapons or armor, which might be the point. Walking to the front, I saw… A red panda face…

  The two ears were clearly the arrays and the apparently super important phaser strips made up the white part. The entire upper half had a coppery look, more red than orange because of fucking course, with the damascus lines that the Mole-Bears loved to much.

  What must have been the cockpit had deflection-focused angles that, I imagined by pure coincidence, also looked like a snout… “Jesus christ Altany…”

  It has headlights for navigation in storms!

  Just like that, two bright but dark-colored headlamps illuminated the ever living fuck out of a trash mountain! Those fucking things were bright! “Alright, we’ll be able to blind our enemies!” Of course, they were perfectly positioned as eyes…

  I sighed, not wanting to be this annoyed. I had a new fucking samurai vehicle! One that’d keep the people I cared about safe! This was a fucking awesome moment!

  It must have been roughly ten meters long and maybe four meters tall? My new baby was big! Must be comfortable inside at that size. “It looks great for now, can you show me the inside? Actually, could you land it? Oh, and deploy the guns? Not sure why you summoned it already flying.”

  For the surprise.

  My eyes widened. “Fuck”.

  The APC did land, which highlighted some key features that’d make any engineer cream their fucking pants! The four landing struts originally looked like a partial cylinder perpendicular to a bigger central one, which went from tail to tip.

  Had to be the super-duper coilgun! When each strut moved outward, what used to be perfectly smooth armor became overlapping plates of armor, similar to my own in fact. I’d swear they flowed over each other without friction!

  Each leg moved out and planted… Fuck it, paws, metal or not they had five digits for extra-stabilization or something…

  Nop! I’d enjoy my new toy! Plus, the armor flowing over itself, looking like mine earned it lots of bonus points! Also, hey, now the central coilgun thingy was starting to do the same! Hexagonal curved plates moved and each snapped into six triangles! Plenty of extra armor came out from under the first layer, probably meant to reinforce and supplement it for all that extra stuff Altany talked about!

  It became open flowers of steel, sharp points pointing backwards. A red glow emanated from within, because samurai. The engineering hurt my brain to try and think about. The material alternated between the dark-red alloy from the upper section and the dark as…

  “Altany.”

  Yes?

  “Did. You. Give. My. APC. A fucking cum drenched prolapsing cunt of a mother GOAT FUCKING TAIL!?!?”

  Yes.

  There are more hard things to beat up in a trash mountain than you might think. I even found old appliances to scrap with my bare fucking fists! The pile shortened by a bit after my little… calming rampage.

  My people avoided me as I took deep, stabilizing breaths. Couldn’t blame them.

  It is a very…

  “Non, non… Donne-moi que’ques minutes… / No, no… Gimme a few minutes…” I hated surprises. A lot. This… My emotions were a bit mixed on the issue now that I could think clearly?

  At the end of the day, my tail was awesome, I could admit that. The APC looking like a Panda hugging its tail? Yeah, no. Couldn’t it be, I don’t know, neon and punk or sleek and powerful? Maybe something cool with hard edges and visible armor? ‘The fuck, seriously!? “Whyyyy?...” I whined, exactly like Rachael used to at twelves years old.

  I may have made a few stylistic choices in assembling it, but I did not sacrifice utility for aesthetics in any way, shape or form. The tail, while glorious, is also a practical and advanced defensive tool.

  The steel flowers, which alternated between black and red because of cat fisting fucking course they would –calm, calm, it’s still a badass samurai APC, calm–, were separated by a bit of space which gave it flexibility. The god forsaken thing moved back and out before the metal acid-trip repeated and those flowers turned into curved hexagons which came together on my side of the vehicle and became a solid curved wall of armor!

  This is the landing protection mode I mentioned before. Point your weapon close to it.

  My Tunneler assembled and I did as asked. A small section moved just a bit for me to shoot through! It’d be amazing cover… “Okay, murderous rage slowly subsiding, what else you got?”

  There is a cover fire mode.

  Small holes opened up and suddenly, a dozen small barrels poked out! “Holy shit, what are those?”

  Their main purpose is point defense. In flight, they can open fire along with the defensive auto-turret. They can damage low-tier models, but when it comes to humans, their main purpose is cover-fire, forcing the enemy to stay put so you can maneuver. They perform similarly to an SMG.

  “Okay, so far so good.” I did like the idea of twelve SMGs under my ship opening fire on some xenos! “Can I add more guns like that to it?”

  Yes. The main purpose of this system is adaptability. There are many existing modules and vastly more that I can create. As I said, if you can imagine it, any module can be mounted.

  “Didn’t you say something about melee last resort stuff or something?” Suddenly, the tail returned to its previous configuration, moved a bit, then absolutely YEETED a fridge! I watched the poor thing fly off in pieces.

  My eyes returned to what I’d called metal flowers… With the pointy triangles as petals… “Those… Those are sharp, aren’t they?”

  Not very, but enough.

  Altany then played a slowed down version of what I’d just seen. Yeah, the poor defenseless fridge got shredded before it flew off into the sunset. “Fuck me…”

  Do you like the tail now?

  “Shut up.” I said absent-mindedly and without heat. “What’s with you and tails? I mean, seriously, is that a fetish?”

  They are a fifth appendage with massive utility which handles the most exposed part of your person, what’s there not to like?

  I decided not to answer that. The tail had gone back under the ship in its… resting mode? Fucked if I knew. “Wait, so, the coilgun is in there?”

  Yes.

  “And all that movement and shit isn’t fucking it up?”

  No, the barrel is not rifled since there is no contact with the projectile, which means it does not have to be fully solid. Before you ask, yes, the coilgun can fire in any direction as long as the barrel is not bent sharply. It will not be able to do so at full power however. Only the coils in a straight line at the end will accelerate the projectile, severely reducing maximum velocity. Although, that still means an 80mm shell with, at minimum, the range of mortars.

  “Okay, scary. What about the auto-cannons?” At that, two round sections of hull, where I knew for a fact no seam had been, flipped one hundred and eighty degrees. Two double barrel auto-cannons unfolded, their barrels extended and the ammo feed went into the hull. “Wait, there was no hole for ammo before, if it’s going in…”

  It connects between the layers to provide a more solid shell without weaknesses.

  Alrighty, wouldn’t question alien engineering! Mostly for my sanity. At the end of the day, the thing did look cool… The red panda face at the front looked stylised, not goofy, and the colors were cool, all black and red with red glowy-bits. As if sensing what I was doing –which, yeah, of course she would– Altany powered up the coilgun.

  Electricity arched between the armor triangles and the red glow intensified. “Alright fine! It’s cool. Thank you Altany…” I muttered, discontent but not mad anymore.

  “I imagine I’m riding with you, pandear?” Robin said as he slid up next to me and took my arm. He’d waited until I was done with the expertise I expected.

  Alien alloys or not, my muscles untensed like they always did with him. “Of course, darling. Want to see the interior?”

  “Let’s! I do like the look on the outside, those damascus lines look great.”

  Thank you, Robin.

  The inside had a bit more space than I expected! The ship apparently had three doors, two on the sides and one at the back which led to a cargo area. We had plenty of space to walk and I could see where the HFUGs would slot on a mounting resting above the door, which would clearly lower and deploy the meter tall bundles of death! Had to imagine the front shield would be flush with the hull.

  Every inch of ceiling had been dedicated to ammo storage for the various weapon systems! I could see where a loader would add more, only needing to slot-in each case in the right spot. Some feeds went along the walls, probably for the tail’s ordnance. Even without me there the damn thing could fight! Probably a good thing if I wanted close-air support.

  Three seats on either side of the door on each side looked oversized for a person, but add power-armor into the mix and, yeah, they’d work great.

  Each one adjusts to its occupant. The metal surrounding them is the emergency shell.

  I did wonder why they looked like a cut-out section of an alien alloy egg. The interior might have been two and a half meters tall and four wide, allowing plenty of space for people to move around by APC standards.

  Upon entering the cockpit, every inch of the interior turned into a perfect view of the outside! “No blindspots, eh?”

  The view is rendered from several hidden micro-cameras within the protective shell, all behind clear alloys just as solid as the rest of the hull. Like I said, there are no failure points.

  Since I’d seen all the important stuff, I went back outside. “Hey, Jackal, want a lift?”

  She snorted. “Nah, I can make my way home. Call me up if you need backup again, would you?” The samurai said with a bit of hesitation.

  “Will do, you saved my ass out there. I’ll be happy to fight alongside you anytime. Call me if you need help too, eh?”

  She smiled back and nodded before Lila came up to her. “Hey, hum… I’m a bit too well shielded for normal contact, so if you need to contact me for some reason, you know, like if Panda’s sleeping or something, here’s my encrypted card.” She looked nervous too. Interesting…

  The samurai blinked a couple times and, even with her darker skin, I could spot a bit of a blush! I had enough experience with Robin to know what to look for. “Oh, uh, yeah, real fucking nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise.” Lila answered with a smile before striding off to my new APC.

  I chose not to tease Lila or get in the way. I wanted her to find somebody! Hell, I’d tried to help in the past and was rudely reminded of my incompetence when it came to people. Instead, I walked towards Kirk. “Doing better?”

  “Yes, and yeah, it was a bit more excitement than I get to have in general. It’s great to see you doing well Louis. I will never be able to thank you enough for… fucking everything.”

  I smiled back at him. “You gave me my son, I couldn’t ever pay that back. I’m so glad to see you out of that wheelchair.” We hugged, something he could finally do properly with his body back to functional. One of the best things I’d done since initialization.

  “Fuck, almost forgot, thank you for saving us from the aliens! Fucking hell, creeps me out to know they’d been there…” I nodded in agreement, feeling the same about our underground hive. “So, what are you gonna do now?”

  I took a deep breath, then let it out. “I’ll install my new mods, hunt down more aliens, plant trees, help Peach-Trees, fuckloads of stuff…”

  I looked back at my people, my enforcers, all embarking on the transports. I’d kept them all alive… This time.

  “First though, I’m going home.”