Interlude 2: Reactions

  Lila wept in Louis’s arms as subtly as possible.

  They needed to fucking go and do the job but she couldn’t get her fucking shit together, fuck!

  She’d always had that little part of her brain, that shitty little cunt of a voice feeding her bullshit and worry.

  That little voice always fed her doubt, in part about her family. Finally, after years of being treated like family, trusted like family, loved like family…

  When Robin pulled her in, when she finally admitted to herself there was light at the end of the tunnel, when her best friends embraced her not for sex or physical contact but just because they wanted their family with them…

  When she started losing her shit and received no judgement, just an uncomfortable hug from a man in cold metal armor that felt like the warmest, most comforting thing she’d ever felt… She knew…

  Her mom never gave her a hug like that! He…

  That fucking piece of shit didn’t fucking matter anymore, did he? They didn’t fucking matter. Her real family mattered. Fuck the rest!

  She’d felt it… When those fucking little shits came for kids that had nothing to do with her genes, she fucking jumped at them with a goddamn knife without thinking and knew she’d do the same thing a thousand times.

  When Louis, a better father than her’s ever was, headed for a fucking suicide mission to save his kids, he refused to allow her. Why? Because if he wasn’t there, the only one he’d trust to take care of them would be her.

  He left his family, the most important thing to him, to her. At that moment she’d felt it but there was always that little horse cock sucking goddamn fucking voice! But now…

  Lila was home. A home full of man-eating aliens in fucking ruins.

  It was the best home she’d ever fucking known and she would die for it again, again, and again if necessary.

  ***

  Laser Jack closed the window showing the footage that had spread with a virus through any and all accessible wireless on those fourteen floors. Even though it wasn’t meant to go beyond the building, one of the recon drones picked it up and his AI alerted him.

  The speech had been easy to hear too. Smart move, attracting the aliens. Laser Jack stared at his screen, blank for once.

  The whole incursion had turned into a mess. No one expected so many damn xenos! Or at least he thought so…

  There weren’t any high ranking members who could get here on short notice. Every available samurai was down in the sewers, ‘inexplicably’ lost…

  Something smelled off. This hive didn’t fit the information, and that meant two options. Either the hive was fucky, or the information was…

  Thank the mesh, those two samurais found each other. Johnny Law would get a chance to grow massively and keep that kid alive. However, there clearly wouldn’t be any extraction.

  He’d have to help from here. It was a big risk, announcing yourself like that for someone with so many bounties. Not to mention those Cobra Kais had a lot of members around their territory, some of them hiding but others ready and waiting inside the shelters probably. No contact with those so far either because of the net failure…

  Maybe he could do some research, give them a bit more info on them? Keep interested parties off the kid’s back, maybe?

  Also, he had to find out why no one had informed him properly, including inside The Family, on the number of antithesis.

  Still, at the end of the day…

  “That’s a real one… Godspeed samurai…”

  Laser Jack said, wiping away a tear from his eye.

  ***

  Johnny Law felt beyond awkward. The weird woman had broken down in sobs and they all waited for her and a bunch of others to get their shit together. He didn’t begrudge them, really, the announcement was a good idea!

  However, now he stood there around fired up and crying people and just… couldn’t understand. The only person he could talk to at the moment…

  He subvocalized, not wanting to disturb the moment.

  ‘Bytal, is… what in damnation is life around here?’

  When he’d become a samurai, his hometown folk felt pretty darn happy about it.

  Mostly for themselves however. He could see it, even back then. It was an economic boost to have a samurai in your town. It gave bragging rights.

  No one really gave that much of a crap about him, except for his friends. It’d been rough, leaving them behind but… They’d left him behind first.

  This reaction though. What would cause that?

  Were I to attempt, even for a thousand points, I could not properly convey to you the hardships they have suffered through. It is a suffering of a scale incomprehensible to those who have not experienced it.

  ‘What’s the scale? Why’s their sufferin’ more horrible than what people in my town went through? I mean, they lost people, grandpappies and the like. I’m not judgin’, I'm sure it’s horrible and I don’t think it’s the same but I… I just don’t get it.’

  Bytal took a few seconds to answer. Good chance it was acting though, dramatic effect and all that.

  One theory humans have employed to convey the agony they’ve suffered, is to consider that there is a variable that matters above all else in suffering. Time.

  Childbirth is not so traumatic in the context of a lack of time. If it were to only take two minutes, it would be bad, but not horribly bad. Similar in scale to a broken leg.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  The problem, in this context, is that childbirth can take days of non-stop pain.

  Bytal gave him a lot more information than usual. Because of the earlier conversation? Or maybe the subject required it…

  On the opposite side, a small amount of pain comparatively, such as nausea, is a difficult situation to be in, but not a life altering event. Extend that over an extended period and it becomes horrible.

  ‘Okay…’

  Now, I will conduct a thought experiment for you, if you wish, to help you understand. Are you open to it?

  It took Johnny a bit of time to answer, but time was short and he’d have to work with these criminals…

  ‘Alright I’m in. What’s the thought experiment?’

  From your profile, it suggests you’ve had anxiety issues in the past. Is that correct?

  Johnny ground his teeth, the bad memories coming back but he nodded. He wouldn’t back down from this. For the sake of better justice, he’d relive those memories.

  There is a condition, called Debilitating Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Are you aware of it? I know mental health was not a subject well considered in your culture.

  He shook his head, lost in thought. Of course, Bytal was right. You had some mamby-pansy feelings? Drink till you don’t remember what the heck sad is. Johnny didn’t drink much anymore, thank the lord.

  A person suffering from this condition would have severe anxiety at all times. From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed. I hope you understand, this means at all times.

  It is a rare disorder because the suicide rate is so high. Now, I wish for you to imagine this for a day. There is a high likelihood you have suffered a day such as this, am I correct?

  He nodded again. Coming out had been one hell of a ride, and not a fun one.

  Some medications are helpful, sometimes, but for some there are underlying conditions unfound. In this case, no medication has worked. You are suffering from this condition, and you will always suffer from it. There is no end. There is no life outside of your anxiety. All of it exists within this lens. You do not know what ‘normal’ feels like.

  Jesus that was bleak! He could start to see his point.

  Now, attempt to imagine this for two days. From dusk until dawn, nausea, muscle cramps, tension and physical pain. You may take anti-inflammatories but they simply dull the pain. The anti-nausea medication may give you relief for a few minutes but no more. Now, I wish for you to imagine four days of this living… Now, imagine a week…

  Between each jump Bytal let him take some time to imagine. He could probably see his brain chemistry and tell if he actually did it.

  A week. From monday to sunday, at your work, at your home, at your leisure, never ending… Good.

  Now, two weeks… Good, now a month, from the first to the thirtieth of June. All month, every day, without end and without breaks. You must live in society with this burden. Now, consider two months. Take your time… Good, now, six.

  Six months, half a year. Every holiday, every workday, every night. All summer and autumn. As the leaves fall and during Halloween, every single day… Good, Now a full year. Every day, without end, without relief, without hope. Your life will never improve and you will never have freedom from this except through death.

  Johnny started crying at that point, looking at this new samurai, in the worst place he’d ever visited. That man was crying from joy.

  ‘Hope.’

  Hope. It is a critical part of human nature.

  ‘There’s more than one point to this ain’t there?’

  Yes, otherwise I may have considered it a waste of time. I found this example from my databank of the net, from a real person. I analyzed them using your social warfare tools and I deemed the account genuine.

  They were an alcoholic. This person explained that in this situation, any relief will become acceptable, any escape. He deemed himself simply smart enough to choose something that would not kill him that quickly or put him in prison. The problem, of course, is that alcohol is a depressant. It made the non-drinking parts of the day worse.

  ‘How long? How long did he… You know…’

  Ten years. After three, he started drinking every night. He refused to drink during the day because it seemed to him that that would be the end. He was able to stop drinking after finding a treatment that granted some relief. He was not cured but he had another source of relief to replace alcohol.

  ‘How the fuck does someone… survive in that?’

  For him, using his profile, history and claims, I believe his account of surviving out of spite, hatred and sheer force of will.

  ‘Fuck me…’

  Johnny didn’t swear, his mama thought him better than that, but she wasn’t here and only wanted anything to do with him because he was a samurai.

  ‘That’s fucked up… The other points?’

  I wish for you to consider the people around you. You are a defender of humanity, hence I felt this was important for you to understand, since you asked. These people never had hope. They are survivors. They lived through horrible things constantly out of survival instinct more than anything.

  That is why they have large amounts of recreational sex and consume legal or illegal drugs. Like the thought experiment, they would do anything for something other than pain. Most use humor, some are fortunate enough to have the love of family, but this also results in addiction.

  It is not the same for everybody, of course, human experience is as varied as there are humans. Some are genetically predisposed to addiction, some are simply self-destructive.

  Vanguard Mad Panda was an alcoholic, but not for long. His mother’s suicide was a precipitating factor. The unacceptable moral environment that was breaking his psyche little by little acted as another contributor. There are many. He channeled his destructive tendencies and energy into helping those around him.

  This meant defending the weak from the strong with his own strength without our assistance. Now, we have given him the tools to bring hope and protect the weak, as is our mandate.

  The same applies to all Bear-Yakuza. All of them have lived difficult lives, and the thought experiment I have given you is extreme in many ways. They probably did not suffer as much as the example. Extremes are useful to convey difficult concepts to imagine, hence my use of it.

  However, if you wish to understand, as you have asked, you must comprehend the consequences of such lives. It does not necessarily excuse behaviors, and I am not asking or demanding anything of you.

  You may feel however you wish in regard to any of them and you will have my assistance in combating them if you must. You simply wished to understand, and I did my best to provide you with an understanding.

  All I will add is that, In the end, what you witness now is hope for the hopeless. What you see is, in part, the duty of a vanguard from our point of view.

  Jonny thought back on the discussion with miz Lila, about the people forced to become addicts in brothels, getting a chance to check out from reality using large amounts of drugs.

  She was still recovering from crying her heart out on Mad Panda’s shoulder. What would hope feel like to someone who went through the shit she did?

  ‘Yeah, I’d cry a lot harder than that. The brothel this girl was in… They still operate that way upstairs?’

  According to the analysis created through spotty camera footage, existing bounties, online chatter and social warfare analysis of perpetrators, I suspect so.

  “Hey, Mad?” Said samurai turned to him after a moment, still internalizing the new name.

  “Hey, what’s up? Almost ready, We’re going in a couple minutes, I apologize for the delay.”

  “No no, it’s fine. Not their fault it hit ‘em so hard. Don’t want ‘em almost cracking out there. Take your time. It’s just uh…” He didn’t really know how to handle this.

  This wasn’t his territory or whatever. Did he ask for permission or offer assistance? “I got some social warfare software, to catch criminals and the like…”

  A few people tensed up a bit but they seemed to have accepted him. Their own samurai was here and he’d promised.

  “I uh… had a talk with Lila… and hum… It appears like the stuff she went through is still happening in the building right?” Mad Panda stared at him for a second. The guy really sucked at talking with people. Better to be blunt.

  “Look, if you plan on doing some clean up, I’d like uh… your permission to join or even if you don’t plan to do that your permission to do it? Or I guess I’m offering my help? I just… can’t let that shit fly… It’s not in my nature if that makes sense fuck I’m babbling do…”

  “Yes.” He answered simply, with an extremely odd for the circumstances kind smile. “Guess it’s a samurai thing eh?”

  In the end, Johnny smiled back. “Guess so.”

  all of it but a lot is straight from my pain. I hope it might illuminate some things or help some people, but that's being very optimistic XD