I am not cranky because I'm up past my bedtime. I am, however, very cranky because I'm trying to make ethically sourced servants, and as it turns out, this is way harder than it really has any right to be.

  Kobolds were more problematic than I expected them to be. No, not because actually making a Kobold's hard, I can do that in like fifteen seconds as long as I have an usable base to work off of, or I can just go steal some from elsewhere, that part's really fucking easy, the hard part is doing this in ethical manner.

  Six elders, seven people total including the Dragon Priestess, sat on a large table on the raised platform we used for trials that required my presence, something that was becoming thankfully less prevalent as they developed their legal system to work based on jurisprudence, and thanks to them finally starting to spread literacy to everyone, the code of law that the elders were developing.

  And yes, we needed the extra height from them sitting ON the table to make it more comfortable for everyone involved.

  "Have you gathered the list of volunteers?"

  My tail swung behind me and raised, curling and uncurling, as I tried to work off my frustration and my need to move through the movements that came as naturally as breathing, as counting to ten... I wanted to go eat a gorilla or something. Maybe eat a Stranana to make the headache go away.

  "Yes! We made sure that each and every one of them reunited all of the characteristics you emphasized," the Priestess declared, raising a large scroll, rolled up and held like that with a ribbon made from some sort of fabric that I didn't quite recognize. Either a trade good, or something new that they had figured out, they were still wearing exclusively crappy cotton.

  "Each of us has further narrowed the selection to only the most exemplary individuals," an old dude with a really wicked and evil looking face, complete with a goatee and pointy mustache, said, scratching his bald head. He was even wearing evil looking robes with pointy spikes, accessories made out of bone and a perpetual scowl adorned his face.

  And I'm getting distracted, what were they saying?

  "-and powerful warriors," the other elder, an old woman who didn't quite have the muscles of her youth but still visibly and definitely belonged to Aqua's gals, finished, raising her hand and flexing her muscles.

  Right. I tried to remember what exactly I had told them to get for me before I went for my nap, but it was hard, I had tried to make it a short nap but I'm finding out I really do need my beauty sleep. Or maybe they're just boring. They're just boring. I mean I'm actively ignoring the old guy talking and he's still managing to bore me.

  ...

  Finally, he got to the interesting bit!

  "-narrowed down to one candidate, sponsored by each of us."

  Right.

  "So you've picked the smartest, the bravest, the most resourceful, the greatest fighter, the most dependable, and the most beautiful?" I asked, vaguely half remembering what I had told them to bring me. To be honest, it was a sort of hodgepodge, I think I might've been half drunk from eating Strananas when I came up wtih the list.

  "Well it was the fairest of them all," the Priestess said, looking at the list written by the scribe. Coincidentally, said scribe was sitting on a smaller table a little bit beside where we were, and was dutifully writing everything that was going down, all of my words, and a summary of the entire situation.

  I had struck gold with her, she had excellent penmanship... quillmanship? Whatever, she wrote well, looked good in glasses and with a cute hat, and most important of all, she was delightfully quiet. She really was the perfect scribe.

  She lifted her eyes and caught my gaze, then turned back to her work, not missing a beat, good, she had to get used to writing while in my presence. She was only trembling occasionally!

  Oh, right, they're talking again, extolling the virtues of their chosen.

  "Then I shall impose upon you one final test, that they must pass... They must venture together, and spend a minimum of a full season traveling as a group. They must depart, and return, without any permanent injury or new scar," I demanded. "And they must bring back proof of having visited at least three different cultures..."

  They all looked attentively.

  "Only when they have proved they are worthy, will they be granted the blessing of becoming one of my direct servants, instruments of my will," I spoke.

  "What about the Draconic Guard?" the Priestess asked. "I've heard murmurs of discontent, Great One," she said, raising her staff. "They've been serving you faithfully," she added, suggestively waving her staff, as if to remind me of its existence.

  Well... they did clean my scales regularly, they kept the stubborn creatures that were too weak to be scared off by my presence away, cleaned and maintained the shrine made around my lair and they didn't complain about all the work, which was always a plus in any sort of employee.

  Pretending I hadn't just come up with the idea on the spot, I faced the Priestess, raising one of my arms over the raised platform and holding my palm with my clawed fingers spread, then curling them as if pinching the air, forcing my energy to coalesce, enforcing myself upon the world and forming first a dummy, with the form of a woman that was as close as I could get to Aqua off the top of my head.

  Well, close to her, if she was regular human sized anyway.

  Then, I poured my power and wrapped it around the dummy, first forming the boots, black leather with a hard silver plate over the shin designed to imitate the pattern drawn into my body by the tiny scales that surrounded the larger scales. I followed it up by manifesting a set of bloomers, strong and sturdy leathery fabric on the outside, lined with soft silk and satin on the inside for comfort.

  I also went back and made sure to pad the boots inside realizing I'd forgotten that.

  Next were armored faulds, long enough to cover the thighs and down to the knee. Maybe Kneepads... no, I can just make the guard on the boots higher. Actually, let's extend the boots to thigh highs, I can give them extra elasticity, the thighs won't be armored with plates but the faulds on the waist will cover that, I designed them so that they were basically interlocking silver scales.

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  I ignored the reactions from the humans, concentrating instead on continuing to armor the dummy I had created.

  Now, normally, I'd be thinking about the practicality of the armor, but, to be entirely honest, I couldn't resist the desire to leave the belly open and uncovered. Draconic armor that leaves the belly exposed... wait, I don't actually HAVE to leave it uncovered! I'll start the design with a basic idea, a silken undershirt...

  I can't exactly recreate the structure of spider silk, I vaguely half remember hearing somewhere that a spidersilk shirt would be bulletproof, and also remember that some older civilizations used silk shirts to counter barbed arrowtips...

  I made sure to go through the design again, adjusting the boots and the bloomers again, making sure they were all in line with my new sensibilities, ensuring maximum comfort, breathability and durability, streamlining the design of the boots a little, smaller plates like interlocking scales instead of a single one...

  Little by little the outfit was coming together, as I made the fabric of the silken shirt transparent, and then started work on the armor piece for the torso, first basing the design on a sports bra, then making it thicker and stronger, changing the fabric of course... I'd probably have to tailor it for each individual... Then I began armoring it, and added some decorative spikes, and even a pattern that looked sort of like my wings on the back.

  Next were the gloves, which were designed to simulate my claws, again, the same principles applied to them as when I made the boots... For each individual I could customize these, to include more or less armor based on preference, switching the fingerless glove to a claw-like gauntlet if need be, for the time being I made the left one a gauntlet and the right one a proper glove.

  Finally, head protection... Hm, now, normally, it would feel like silly cosplay to have a dragon-head-like helmet, but hey... it beats a bucket ass closed helmet. I'll make sure it has plenty of padding, the interlocking scales are going to be more than durable enough, so I'll need extra thick padding in order to compensate for the helm being designed to not break.

  As I finished, I looked upon the majesty of my work.

  ...

  I think I made some MMO-ass armor right here. I felt embarrassed.

  "O Great One, it is amazing- but what is it?" the priestess asked. "I can feel your power radiating from it!"

  "... this shall be the armor worn by the most elite of the Guards. Once a season, they will compete," I declared. "They will face three trials, a test of bravery, a test of wit and a test of character," I said. "All who pass the three tests will be brought to me and I will bless them with this armor - adjusted for their personal preference," I added. "And a weapon of their choice," I added, thinking that they'd probably need to have a weapon to match.

  "Oh, I see..!" she said. "I thought you were making a golem that would fight in your name to replace them," the priestess continued, tapping one finger to her temple and waving her staff. "If they disappointed you I was ready to offer mine and their heads as their leader and-"

  I looked at her.

  She looked at me.

  I pointed my claw at her.

  She pointed a finger at herself.

  I willed my power and the world answered. A ball of water appeared right above the priestess head. It then burst, and about a bucket's worth of cold water fell on top of the priestess' head. I made sure it wasn't cold enough to give her too bad of a shock, just enough to emphasize my point.

  There were a good ten or fifteen seconds after where everyone was silent.

  "Moving on," I continued, thankful that I had watched Aqua use water enough that I could do that swiftly, "the next item on today's schedule is the threatening movements of the Extremely Muddy Hill tribe near the borders of the territory of Argentum."

  The Elder who was in charge of War, Blondface, raised his hand. "The Warriors of Silver are ready to deploy at any time upon your command, O Great One," he said, "we are eager to prove ourselves, the warriors' morale is strong, their appetite fierce and their strength unparalleled!"

  "And I insist that going on the offensive is foolish! We've yet to ascertain their intentions are hostile, and we've no reason to believe they will break their word!" the Elder who handled most of the macro-economic matters, Breadeater, spoke.

  "Your cowardly nonsense won't save us if they're in our territory!"

  "A treacherous backstab won't earn us any trade partners!"

  "Coward!"

  "Imbecile!"

  Man was I glad I convinced them to bring name plates, because for the life of me I could not remember their names. I'm pretty sure these aren't even the same elders from the last council even, probably died, now I can't ignore the fact that they definitely are changing.

  The pile of wrinkles that was Tentspear, another unfortunate name to add to the list, tapped his walking stick, a cane of gnarled wood, against the table he sat upon. "Conduct yourselves with dignity," he said.

  You don't fuck with the head of all craftsmen, because it is he who knows whose home has the least pots.

  The priestess smiled brightly. "I'd like to remind everyone present that the punishment for disrespecting our Lord applies to us all," she spoke.

  And yes, as you might suspect, her first idea was indeed execution. I veto'd that, but considering what she came up with instead, maybe I should've allowed her to just bash people's heads in with her staff.

  All six elders shuddered at the thought of that punishment. Had they been looking at my tail, they would've noticed my reaction as well, and it's a damn good thing they couldn't see it behind me.

  "O Great One, please grant us your wisdom..." the warhawk Blondface begged.

  "Yes, please tell us, what should we-"

  "Monitor the situation. Trust, but verify," I said. "Offer them an escort and guide. Do not send just one person, send enough that at least one can make it back with a warning," I spoke, "should things turn ugly. And should they break their word, and turn passage through our lands into a surprise assault, then wake me up immediately, I don't care how."

  They all looked at me.

  "Treachery is to be repaid with complete annihilation," I said, trying to project as much severity as I could. "This goes for all of us, suffer not a traitor, suffer not the deceiver!" I called, clenching my claw and sweeping it across the air, cutting through it with a whooshing noise and causing a gust of wind that shook the long gray hairs of the elders.

  There was a moment's pause, as serenity settled, and I returned to a more placid sitting position.

  We are not the most technologically developed, we are not the most populous, we are not the most wealthy, but we are strong, we are well fed and we are better prepared. Though I might not be no great general, I have at least some sort of grasp of the most basic of basics of war, and I've worked to pass as much of it to my humans as I can.

  Sun Tzu I might not be, but I can pass the basics of the Art of War to my people.

  Though I've mostly been focused on internal affairs, and especially in increasing the average level of education, as well as instituting a standard of literacy, I've not been wholly idle regarding all other topics. My people hadn't quite figured out the intricacies of iron just yet, but their understanding of how heat affected metals had progressed quite a bit.

  Of course, we'd have to actually FIND some iron deposits before we were able to actually enter the Iron Age... but I suppose that things just aren't that convenient.

  As much as I could just make a huge block of iron for them to use, that would defeat the point of teaching them not to rely on me.

  Still, I couldn't wait for them to be able to make stronger weapons and armor than the people around them. Thanks to their efforts, the food and shelter situation had progressed to the point that we're no longer at a subsistence level, our population is expanding, the town is expanding... there's more traders coming and going, and we're absorbing their knowledge and figuring out their technology.

  Speaking of which...

  "The harvest festival approaches... Have the new checkpoints been built?" I asked. I could just fly up and check, but, that would require effort, and what's the point of being the Dragon in his lair if I go do things myself?

  "Yes! We've also instructed all of the guardians of the Checkpoints and have produced as many tokens as we could, we've well exceeded the minimum requirement and we're on track to surpass the worst case scenario provisions," the Priestess called, sounding quite giddy.

  Breadeater tipped his straw hat. "This year's harvest is on track to be our biggest ever as well," he spoke.

  Hm.

  Actually...

  It's bugging me.

  Everything sounds like it's going way too well.

  Ah, shit. Something's gonna happen in the festival, isn't it? I guess I should warn Aqua to be on her toes and make sure I get a nice and long nap right before it, so that I can be fully awake and aware in time for whatever went down. This sinking feeling might not let me get restful sleep, however.

  I'll be happy if this premonition is wrong and everything goes well, but when does that ever happen?