Chapter 19 - Under the desk

  The dead residential street stretched in front of me. Trees and bushes provided excellent hiding spots for all kinds of things I tried not to think about.

  I licked my chapped lips and winced at the taste of cheap bacon "smoked" in liquid flavour. The acrid reek of smoke clung to every thread of my clothes and made me want to shave my hair off. I was probably smelling like a delicacy for whatever monsters were roaming around.

  A constant muscle ache made the split lip feel almost trivial by comparison. I stood there, swaying slightly, trying to force my exhausted brain to work through the fog of fatigue.

  Home. I should go home. But how do I get there in one piece?

  My [Pathfinder] card was still on cooldown, so I had to think.

  I should have gone home right after the hospital. No, scratch that. Before the hospital. As soon as I'd recovered from the poison enough to walk on my own.

  There was no way I would make it home in the middle of the night.

  A memory of an office building with an empty parking lot on our way to the hospital came into focus in my mind. It was just a few blocks away. If a business was empty, it would make it less attractive for monsters to nest there, right? There was only one way to find out.

  I had no energy to crouch, so I just ran from one shadowed area to the next, scanning my surroundings as best as I could. Having only one hand covered with a sleeve from the nightly chill was distracting. Trying not to scrape the ground with the awkward long pole of my "spear" was even more so. I guess the card only helped me move in fighting situations.

  I stopped a few times to wait out some suspicious rustling. But my luck must have turned around, because I reached the building with no issues.

  There were only two offices in the one-story building: a bookkeeper and an insurance agent. Unfortunately, both doors were locked, as well as the front window.

  I circled the building until I spotted a bathroom window propped open on its ventilation setting. Behind the mosquito screen, old painted-over hinges suggested it hadn't been fully opened in years. I headed back to the residential street and grabbed someone's trash bin. I needed the height to reach the window and push it open. If anyone saw me taking it, so be it. They could sue me later.

  It took brute force and a lot of loud banging to pry the frame open. I probably could have been quieter about it, but exhaustion was setting in. At that point, even getting eaten by a seagull didn't sound so bad. At least it would mean I could finally rest.

  I tossed my backpack in, then climbed through in the darkness. The window opening was so narrow I could barely squeeze through. On landing, my foot hit the backpack at a bad angle and my ankle rolled.

  My eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness. I stood there, completely frozen on one leg, waiting to make sure no monsters were spying on me from under the toilet stall doors. Slowly, the faint outlines of room corners, sinks and toilets cleared up a little, and I felt confident enough to fish for my flashlight in the backpack.

  A weak beam wobbled across the tiles and ceiling, making the old roof leak stains visible. I smacked the plastic casing a few times until it finally brightened to full power. The flashlight must have been defective. We'd just put in fresh batteries at the car shop and had barely used it at the hospital. I made a mental note: find a new flashlight.

  With the help of a trash can, I closed the bathroom window shut, then moved on to explore the rest of the area.

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  The hallway after the bathroom was pleasantly empty. The first door to my right, the bookkeeper's office, was closed. Thankfully, the insurance broker must have left in a rush, because their back door opened after just a slight push.

  The interior was nearly pitch-black: just faint outlines of two windows behind closed blinds. The air was cool and smelled of stale coffee and old paper. I took my time, studying the cluttered space in the dim circle of my flashlight.

  There was a general reception area and a small office space, separated by the grey modesty panel. The desk in the general area was a mess, cluttered with pens, papers, an overturned phone and an empty vase. Without seeing an immediate danger, I walked further into the room, past the row of metal filing cabinets.

  Behind the panel was another desk, a leather chair, and bookshelves. The entire office had a cheap polyester rug throughout. For a brief moment, I considered how clean it could be. Then I remember that I haven't showered in almost four days.

  I curled up under the desk, putting my backpack under my head, my back against the modesty panel. The door to the outside was locked, the bathroom window was closed, and if someone breaks in, I should hear it. I put my spear on the ground beside me, making sure the raisored tip was away from my immediate reach.

  I used [Heal wound] on my sprained ankle and settled in to wait for morning, hoping that my body would be less stiff and my mind less dazed. My bare arm pressed against the rough carpet. Crumbs dug into my skin and a musty smell crept into my throat. Under different circumstances, it would've been revolting. Now? I barely noticed.

  The sound of a ticking clock filled the room. There was an unfamiliar hollow sensation to the way the sound echoed through the space. The air was still. The carpet propagated dust. But nothing could compete with my own stench: ash, sweat and blood.

  The image of Mrs. Hill's burning, animalistic face was staring at me every time I dared to blink. And the calm emptiness of my surroundings made it so much sharper.

  My hand was already moving toward my bag when I remembered that my phone was still dead. The itch persisted anyway. I wanted to check my profile, see the comments and interact with subscribers, hunt for something colorful and meaningless to stare at.

  Stuck in the silence, my mind went where it always went when I let my guard down. Spiralling through everything I'd rather forget. Now I could add Mrs. Hill to the list of things I would rather not think about.

  The familiar thoughts were louder. The memories of what I'd escaped when I left that house. My mind followed them like feet finding familiar ruts in a muddy road, sliding into the worn grooves no matter how hard I tried to step elsewhere.

  When I was younger, I used to wonder what would happen if I just stopped. Stopped caring, stopped trying. Like those questionnaires they push at you in the doctor's office: "How often do you experience little interest or pleasure in doing things?" I'd always had very little interest in doing what was expected of me. Sometimes it was hard to find the motivation to get out of bed.

  One day, it hit me: I was my own person, I could just leave; family wasn't everything. After eighteen, I could chase my dreams, find my people, or just... exist on my own terms.

  But then there was Esther. I did things just to brighten her day, to help her avoid all the sharp edges that had cut me at her age. And we weren't even related by blood, just step siblings, existing in the same cage.

  When I finally got out, everything changed. Sure, I was broke, waiting tables, scrubbing floors for cash, but I felt alive. I had purpose. A dream so close I could taste it. And this past year? I'd been living that dream. Watching my subscriber count climb every single day. Getting real sponsorship deals, living in my own place.

  Now all that was gone. And here I was, lying on a musty rug in an abandoned accountant's office, haunted by the image of a woman burning alive, Ester crying and begging me not to leave.

  Did I need a new dream now? I was still free, wasn't I? Untethered. But if freedom was the goal all along, why was I wondering again what would happen if I just stopped?

  My heartbeat slowed down, together with my breathing, and in what seemed like seconds, I fell into a dream filled with burning monsters.

  I woke up in the dim morning light to the car alarm wailing somewhere in the distance. I lay there, curled up under the table, like a homeless cat. I couldn't hear any other noise past the car alarm. Hopefully, the monsters outside couldn't either.

  I must have gotten dehydrated yesterday, because I didn't even feel like using a bathroom. A few new cracks appeared on my lips, and I couldn't stop licking them. I had to fuel myself better today. Shrivelled skin and muscle cramps were not something I wanted to add to my current situation.

  After a stretch, I headed to the bathroom to freshen up. My body was still stiff, but my ankle was not hurting, and I celebrated this small win. The water in the tap spattered out after a few minutes of running. At least I got to wash my face.

  I searched the office in the dim morning light. There was a cooler in the corner, and I drank my fill with the cookies from the table drawer. I rummaged through the desks, cabinets and shelves: a pair of office shoes, a photo frame, a mug, some instant coffee and an electric kettle - nothing useful. Not even a new flashlight.

  I repacked the battered backpack, making sure that nothing would tumble around and betray me in the middle of the monster-infested wasteland. My water bottle was gone, but I still had my phone and a charger, keys, wallet, map, flashlight, the spray can, a lighter, the first aid kit, and a few snacks from the hospital.

  Refreshed and yearning for a new set of underwear, I have set out on my way to the townhouse.

  Chloe's Deck (7/10):

  Blue Card: [Leap]

  Instantly leap forward up to 6 feet. Beware of obstacles. Cooldown 30 minutes.

  Blue Card: [Heal Wound II]

  A medium burst of healing for a single target area you touch. Cooldown 1 hour.

  Green Card: [Spear]

  Basic proficiency with spear weapons. Grants +5% damage and improved accuracy when wielding spears.

  Green Card: [Poison Tolerance]

  Dulls the worst poison effects, giving your body time and chance to fight it. Does not work on lethal poison dosages.'

  Blue Card: [Pyromaniac Torch]

  Fire recognizes a kindred spirit. Go on. Light it up. Just be careful what you feed it. Cooldown 10 minutes.

  Blue card: [Pathfinder]

  Read the landscape and identify the safest routes by using subtle signs like animal tracks, worn earth, natural markers, and subconscious knowledge. Cooldown 6 hours.

  Blue Card: [Tissue Splice].

  Fuse two edges of tissue. Cooldown 1 hour.