It’s a two day trip to where Liam says he thinks the tatzelwurm is at. He can “see” it the way I’m able to use witchcraft to track enemies. From the direction he’s guessing it’s near an old abandoned village. Abandoned villages are common in Fae. Living for as long as they do the Fae have lived in most places here at one point or another. I can’t imagine living hundreds of years or more. Agnar says I’ll get used to it after a while. Neither of us adds the rest. If nothing kills me.

  Brede and Sofia share a tent, which makes sense since they’re married. Liam and Agnar don’t sleep, I guess elves don’t have to so they just sit out and talk all night. He says he has runes to make. Kerri asks to stay with me. I don’t ask why or point out that she shouldn’t need to sleep either. I’m kind of excited to talk to another mage. And someone else who seems to love to fight. I make room for her on my bed.

  “Oh yer cozy as a hedgehog in a hammock in here aren’t ya?” She asks. “Hecate really put in the works. Ain’t she gonna be in a pickle without her sacred space though? Where’s she to stay local?”

  I’m not used to being on this end of all the questions. “What? What sacred space?”

  “This here is a piece of divine realm innit? Ye ken smell the magic just about. I don’t understand the whole lot of it myself but they been in yer world for years and years tucked away mostly in a pinch of their divine realm. Brought it with ‘em special for when dealin’ with the mortals became to much a hassle. Pay me no mind now, I don’t mean nothin’ on humans, yer my first. I’m still pretty young fer a elf, only sixty-five this year. Suppose that’d make me a old granny to ye.”

  I try to think. “She gave me this in the tutorial. You mean this is like her place? So does that mean she’s homeless or something?”

  “Don’t fret now, she’s still a goddess ent she? I doubt she’s out camped in the woods with nary a roof over her head. She wouldna have given you this if she couldnae do without it,” she says.

  “How do you know so much about all of this? My friends have been in here and they never said anything.”

  “Yer not the only one blessed by a goddess. Titania an’ me had a nice long chat on the summer solstice. Or her avatar and me. It’s liable to confuse a body the way the goddesses work. She rent the world asunder an’ invited me to court. That’s somethin’ ya take notice of. Her court an’ this place feel kinda alike. Only hers was a woodland and smelt of grass and flower, this place just smells of power,” She says.

  “Whoa,” I say. I don’t know what else to add. I probably shouldn’t tell her about Morrigan. This sucks, I have questions she could answer but I can’t ask them without her asking me questions I shouldn’t answer. Ugh. OK, there’s still stuff I can ask. Maybe I should treat her like a person instead of Wikipedia anyway. “So what made you choose earth magic?”

  “Oh that’s easy,” she says. “I love the soil and rocks and the ground. If yerself wasn’t here I’d probably just settle down into dirt for a nap. We elves don’t have to sleep but it don’t mean a nice nap can’t do us some good. Besides you don’t know what yer missin’ gettin’ down in the nice cool sediment like yer plantin’ yerself for the growin’ season.” She looks around, “This is nice too mind ye. A lot more fluff than I’m used to for sure, but it don’t hurt my feelin’s none. What made ye pick yer lightning?”

  I told her the story about the lightpole and the transformer. How it had scared me at the time and seemed like the most powerful thing in the world. After that we talked about music. Finally I found someone else who likes metal. We stay up a little bit listening to some of what she likes, Trivium and Arch Enemy. I want to keep talking but when I open my mouth a huge yawn comes out. It’s been kind of a long day. And week. And year.

  “Oops, I kept ye up past time ye needed to sleep. Ye wanna nudge over and we ken have a proper sleep over? I ent never had one before myself,” she asks.

  Of course I say yes. I sleep really good, if there are any nightmares I don’t remember them.

  *****

  The next day feels like everything is happening all at once. We spend most of it walking, and we kind of break off into small groups. Sofia, Kerri and me are inseparable. We talk about the differences growing up in the human world and Fae. That sounds kind of lonely to me. I mean grownups pay attention to them but they don’t have any kids to play with.

  Before the Fae abandoned my world they used to steal unwanted kids to be playmates for their own children. I wish I didn’t ask how they knew they were unwanted. A lot of kids that were weird or smart or not smart enough were just left out in the woods. That’s when they weren’t beaten or tortured into saying they were a changeling or a demon. There’s no such thing as changelings, Fae loves their kids and would never try and send them to humans to raise. The more time I spend with my new friends the worse I think humans might be. I keep getting warned about the Fae, and bad deals and stuff but it was a human witch that kidnapped me. I guess the Fae monsters are dangerous but it was a human world Lynx that took my fingers. I want to ask what the Fae ever did to humans but it seems kind of rude.

  Brede has definitely made a new friend with Liam. I try not to listen in to their conversation but Liam seems to be kind of sad. It’s not what he says really so much as how he says it. He always has this tone like he just saw something terrible and can’t stop thinking about it. Even when he laughs it’s there. Even without trying to listen in I hear enough to know he’s lost a lot of friends and family. He jokes about being cursed but I don’t think he’s kidding.

  Agnar kind of switches back and forth between the groups. He mostly makes jokes and tries to keep everyone in a good mood. I thought maybe he’d annoy Liam but if he does I can’t tell. I want to talk to Liam, ask him how he can be so calm and understanding of all the bad stuff that’s happened. How do you ask someone that though? Brede asks him about his shield and he says he’s been using one like it since he marched with the Mycenaeans. None of us know who that is. Then we find out he’s over three thousand years old.

  That shouldn’t be shocking to me right? Morrigan and Hecate are both older than this universe if I understood them right. Even in human stories Hecate is older than the Greek gods. Something about them though just felt comfortable, like they were just nice people. Hecate just sounded like a really nice woman. She could be like a young teacher or something. Shouldn’t they be sad like Liam? They have to have had like millions of people they care about die, right? My chest feels tighter just thinking about it. What if I lost all my new friends, made more and then lost those over and over again? Stop Marie, you’re going to make yourself cry and then everyone will think you’re a weirdo.

  I wasn’t the only one that had gotten quiet though. I guess it’s weird to think of my friends who had been around for centuries as young but Liam made us all feel like kids. Somehow that didn’t make me feel better. Agnar asked how he got a name like Liam that long ago. Liam isn’t even his real name, he doesn’t remember what his name used to be because no one has used it in a long time. He tells us this with that same tone, that same sad voice that seems to just accept he may never remember his real name. Every time I think I’ve stared down fear and told it I was the boss it comes sneaking back up on me in a new way.

  Agnar tried to get everyone laughing again but the quiet kind of took over. Something about Liam being alive so long made me think about death. I don’t know if it was like that for everyone else. Like, how many times did he go on an adventure with a bunch of people and now they’re all dead? Would he be on his way to fight some other monster in a thousand years while we were all dead? Would I? Thinking about it too hard made my skin feel like bugs were crawling all over it. I guess that’s why he told Brede he never stays anywhere very long.

  It’s weird, I’m not used to having this much time before a fight. I guess maybe I did with the bears but when I decided to fight them there was so much to do before the fight. Now I’m just walking and thinking and my friends and new people aren’t very good distractions. I wonder if they’re thinking about the same things. I never used to think about what went on in other people’s heads. I blame my homework, what did the author mean, why did this character do whatever. Why is Marie marching with elves and dwarves to slay a dragon? To get stronger? So one of them will remember her?

  I never had to worry about thoughts like that before either. Should I be asking who I am already? Every time I try to shake it off it just comes back. I know what I want the answer to be. Because she’s a hero and that’s what hero’s do. I don’t think I get to call myself a hero. I think other people are supposed to do that. If we kill this dragon will that make us heroes? What is a hero? Why am I giving myself more homework?

  Kerri doesn’t stay with me tonight. She pops in to let me know and we chat for a few minutes but she’s not feeling like napping. It’s ok, I need to be thinking about the fight anyway. No one says it but I’m the one who’s going to kill it, like actually kill it. Everyone else is just there to make sure it can’t get me or get away. I hope I don’t mess it up.

  *****

  I didn’t expect the Tatzelwurm to be beautiful. The unicorn was beautiful and kind of scary. The Tatzelwurm is beautiful in how scary it is. The head is a grinning cat. It’s always smiling and I think the mouth is way too wide. Its fur and scales are silver. Not gray, they’re shiny and remind me of a stuffed animal. Its neck is long and twisty, when the face turns to look at something it doesn’t look right at all. It looks wrong, like someone put it together from two different animals. It has a streak of fur all down its back instead of raised scales. Its arms and claws have the same fur, and its three claws are cat paws. Below that is the rest of it, a shiny silver snake that slithers around. We see it from pretty far away as it makes biscuits with its paws on the roof of a cottage that’s falling apart. It’s as tall as Agnar with its arms and head in the air, and the body and tail below it are almost twice as long. It’s a lot bigger than I expected.

  We’re behind a wall that’s mostly still standing far enough away from the village that it hasn’t noticed us. I swear I can feel Kerri shiver. I reach out and grab her hand. She’s going to try and face this thing in her rock armor. Looking at it, that doesn’t feel like enough. I’m not even sure Liam should fight this thing in his leather armor with his big shield. I’m not sure we should fight this thing at all. Sofia was right, I didn’t know how dangerous this thing was. I still don’t, I’m just guessing.

  “There she is,” Liam says. “Meaner’n hell and twice the danger. I reckon we got even odds on takin’ that thing to ground. What’d ya say Miss Marie, think you can kill it?” There’s no judgement in his voice. No hope either.

  Only one thing to do, Advanced Identify.

  Level 29 Gleaming Tatzelwurm

  HP: 2960

  Distance: 918 feet

  I need more.

  Gleaming Tatzelwurm

  The Cat’s Meow. Resistant to slashing, crushing and piercing attacks. Immune to fire this dragon is a calamity best avoided.

  No. No avoiding. No running. I’m going to be the calamity. One day I’ll be beautiful and scary and instead of going around killing people and being awful I’m going to help people. I’ll start with you. Not just me, but my friends. My beautiful dangerous friends. My blood sister. My teacher. The man who accepted me as whatever it is I am. Whoever Marie is. We’re here and you’re in big trouble Kitty Dragon.

  “That’s a lot of health,” I say. “But if you can hold him down I have enough mana to kill him.” I tried to sound like it was no big deal.

  Agnar steps up and turns around to look at us. “Brede, I want you at least two miles back the way we came. You’re not part of this fight and I don’t want there to be a chance this thing comes for you. Go underground, leave something that lets us know where you are.”

  Brede nods, “Good luck to you. I expect y’all to run if things get out of hand.” He leans over and kisses Sofia on the cheek. She turns and gives him a real kiss. Then he starts marching back down the road.

  Agnar watches him for a minute before looking back at us. “I don’t like the looks of that village, it’s over grown and falling apart. You can see the Tatzelwurm has dragged what’s left of other roofs onto the one it’s been napping on. That means we need to pull it out here. Kerri, how quick do you think you can wall it in?”

  We all look at her. “If ye ken make sure it’s on target I can prep now and be able to pull up walls around it like that,” she says snapping her fingers. “Where do we want it?”

  “Liam, you're our tank, I want you to pick your spot. Kerri remember to try and make the tunnel towards him as narrow as you can so it can’t get away from him. Sofia, make sure you move as soon as you knock it senseless. We need you on backup in case it breaks free. Marie, make sure you have mana on the ground inside the trap, just in case. If you can use your Psychokinesis to blast this thing that would be best. I want you in the air above Liam playing support until it’s nailed down, you have the best ranged attacks.”

  Liam points towards some cobbled road that isn’t covered in grass. “There’s gotta be flat rock under that. Kerri confirm will ya? I’ll take whatever solid ground you wanna use if that ain’t the spot. What we don’t want is the ground given way under me.”

  Kerri stares over where he’s pointing and looks like she’s day dreaming. “Aye, there’s solid granite right below. I ken meld the road to it proper, no chance of that given’ way. There’s a good bit of that here, I’ll get on pullin’ up what’s natural ‘fore I start my mix and match. If we can get it trapped though why the exit with Liam?” She asks Agnar.

  “That thing is going to be strong. I’m not sure how strong, but I don’t think it will be able to escape without some effort. Giving it a living target that fights back should stop it from breaking out immediately. Hitting it from multiple places should stop it from taking the time to break your walls down and let you repair the damage it does in between hits,” he replies.

  “Oh, aye, that tracks,” Kerri replies. “Sofia let me see yer fists, I’ll make ye some holes to punch through. If it starts kraken’ em I might have to seal ‘em up though. Marie, when I grab onto it, ye make it heavy as you ken. Don’t ye worry none about me, I got a plan. ”

  The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  Sofia holds up her fists, she looks like she’s about to box someone. “Liam I’ll be on your tail, how much space do you want me to give you?”

  “Don’t worry too much on it. I’ve played shield wall a time or two. You can be my shadow and I promise not to trample on ya. I’ll call out any movement that needs you to move. You hear “left” or “right” just swing along with me. Damn, suppose we ought to have practiced that.”

  “Do it now,” Agnar says. “Kerri get your trap read and show me where and how you’re going to trap this thing. Marie, get up high and watch it. Yell out if it sees us.”

  “OK,” I say. I walk over to the road and drop a globe of mana. I jump as high as I can and catching myself with Mana Walking. I do it twice more before I stop.

  Sofia and Liam move to the spot he pointed out earlier and she stands behind him. She copies his movements exactly. I hear him say left and right but I don’t think she needed that. Then they start practicing her moving around him, punching and then him covering her with the shield and going back to how they were standing before. It looks like they’re somehow one person. Like a dwarf-elf put together to fight the cat dragon.

  Kerri is slowly walking in front of where Liam and Sofia are with her hands out. I can feel the mana coming out of her. She stops every couple of minutes and I can see through Advanced Mana Sense that she’s pulling mana back into her. She seems to be a lot better at it than I am. Agnar is asking questions and dropping stones that I know he’s carved runes into on the ground in different spots. Some of them he tosses away from everyone in different directions.

  I keep an eye on the cat dragon. It’s sleeping and I think it might actually be purring. That seems wrong somehow but I’m too busy trying to keep track of everything and spread my mana to think too much about it. It takes over an hour, I have to keep refreshing my mana on the ground. Agnar keeps moving his stones a little. Kerri stops everyone at one point and they take three big steps to the left. Moving my mana gives me something else to do for the rest of the time. Finally Agnar waves me down.

  “Sorry to pull you down when I’m going to send you right back up. I want to make sure everyone is ready and still willing to do this,” Agnar says.

  “I intend to take my vengeance one way or another, I can wait if y’all have doubts. Won’t take or give no offense. That’s a fearsome foe. Wouldn’t be too much to bring an army, but I’m ready today if y’all are,” Liam says.

  “I ain’t about to back out now,” Kerri says. “No big beastie is gonna send me turnin’ tail.”

  “Me either,” I say.

  “Sof?” Agnar asks.

  “Like I’d let my favorite uncle Agnie and my blood sister have all the fun without me,” She says. Her words don’t match her face or her voice. She sounds scared. Dammit, is this my fault? I didn’t mean to make her do something she didn’t want to. She looks at me, and I guess I’m making a face.

  “Smile cutie pie, we’re gonna be heroes,” she says. She sounds like herself again, so I do.

  “Alright everyone, positions,” Agnar says.

  Dirt and rock flow like water around Kerri. It’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I wanna get that good with lightning. She looks like the Juggernaut except I can’t see her face or any part of her. She marches out to the field. Sofia and Liam get in place and both of them put on a serious face. I’ve seen Sofia’s before but this is the first time I’ve seen Liam show much of any emotion. I jump up twice, staying closer to them than I was when I was playing lookout.

  Agnar passes Kerri and walks towards the village. His shield is buckled to his arm and his sword in the other hand. “Here dragon kitty kitty kitty!” He yells. Why did I tell him about that? I can hear the others chuckle. It’s a weird thing to hear right before you do something stupid. Or maybe it isn’t. I can feel myself making fists. Oh boy. Here we go.

  The tatzelwurm opens an eye. Then it closes it and buries its face under an arm. Agnar stops outside the village. He switches his sword to his shield hand and reaches in his pocket. He throws a stone at the cat dragon and takes off running, already switching the sword back.

  The tatzelwurm looks up just in time for the stone to hit it in the face. It explodes into icicles. MRRRRRAOW, it yells. Even up here away from it I freeze for a second. Agnar stumbles before continuing to run. The thing's head swings around and down the cottage before the rest of it follows. It holds its arms back and a little above its belly as it slithers out of the village. It reminds me of a raindrop on the car window. That big head moving slowly and then streaming across the ground. It was so much faster than Agnar, it was right on him. His body shot forward with his movement skill and a few stones fell behind him as the cat dragon opened its too wide mouth. It chomped down on some more ice explosions. Its head went up and the front of its body back. Its paws went up towards its face like it was trying to get the ice away. MRRRRRRRRRAOW, it yelled again.

  Agnar ran behind Kerri as the Tatzelwurm came back down, shooting forward at both of them. Kerri didn’t just stand there, she stepped forward and grabbed the cat dragon by the neck. She fell backwards and I used Scales of Ma’at on the beast. She fell through the ground like it wasn’t there and suddenly part of the Tatzelwurm was underground with her. Agnar runs right and barely avoids the thick walls of rock shooting up around it in a tee-pee that led to Liam. The walls got smaller and smaller as they reached him.

  There are small holes near the front on the sides and all along the top. The top ones are for me. I run over the rock walls until I can see the tatzelwurm struggling to pull itself up. OK, my turn. Voltaic Railblaster forms on my hand and I overcharge four shells. I shoot them right through the holes into the back of the cat dragon.

  I don’t even hear them hit before ZACRACK CRACK Crack crack crack. Dammit I forgot about the sound. I hope the others are ok. I start to shoot four more when the top of the teepee cracks and and lines run down on all sides. I guess it’s loose. I can’t see through the hole so I better not shoot. I catch Liam move out of the corner of my eye. What is he doing? He’s leaving the entrance open! Kerri, still in her rock armor comes flying out of the hole. There are three deep claw marks on her rock armor. She hits the ground and her armor starts falling apart around her. She’s not moving. Agnar runs to her.

  The Tatzelwurms face appears at the end of the tunnel. I aim my blaster but then I hear what sounds like a gun going off five times. Sofia! The cat head is knocked back into the tunnel and I hear it MRRRRRRRRRW. Liam moves back in front of the tunnel. BANG BANG. It’s trying to get out. I move to a different hole and start shooting again. ZACRACK CRACK Crack crack crack. The banging stops. Black smoke starts pouring out of all the holes. A blue aura surrounds Liam and Sofia and the smoke flows around it.

  The aura starts chipping. I try to figure out where the cat dragon is. Wait, duh. I use the mana I left in the tunnel. It’s backed up and is trying to use the smoke to make Liam move. Sofia can’t use the holes to get at it as long as that smoke is pouring out of its mouth. Stupid cat dragon, never give me time to set up. I start making shells under it. It’s not paying any attention at all. I make blasters near its face. I don’t think this thing is very good at sensing magic. I guess it doesn’t have to be. I check on the others, Agnar has Kerri on her feet but she looks confused. He’s got his aura up around both of them.

  Fifteen shells. Three blasters. One bad dragon kitty. I fire. BOOOOM!

  My vision blurs from the explosion. My ears are ringing and I’m falling. I use Scales of Ma’at to make myself as light as possible. I hit the ground a second later and bounce. Ow. I roll over and push myself up releasing the skill. I spit up some blood. And a tooth. I hope that wasn’t a grownup tooth. What happened? There’s dust and smoke everywhere and the ground is black. The gas! Marie you idiot. Why didn’t we plan for this?

  The tatzelwurm’s face busts out of the smoke. It’s coming right for me, gotta shield. Something flies at it from my right. Sofia, no! She knocks its face a couple of feet before it turns to face her. I have to help. I pull out my sword and Basic Spark Step right through its face. I turn and swing for a home run as it snaps at me. Sofia uppercutting its chin before is all that saves me from being kitty food. It also lets me hit it right across the neck. Its scales crack and it’s shoved back a little. Ow my arms. I’m pretty sure that hurt me more than it. It snaps back down and I throw up a shield.

  It bounces off but I lose 80 mana. I can’t do that again. Then Liam and Agnar are there and Sofia is dragging me backwards. I start pulling in mana. Agnar swings his sword and it glows blue. Wherever he hits ice forms on the Tatzelwurm. MRRRRAOW, it doesn’t like that. It bites at him but there’s Liam with his shield. He stabs at the cat dragon for the first time and catches it in the eye. It pulls its whole body back. The eye stays closed but I can see blood oozing out of it. Oh no. I know what we need to do.

  “Blind the other eye!” I yell. It's not touching anyone so I fire a couple of shells at its other eye. It swats them with a paw. ZACRACK. MRAOW. It looks at me then Liam. It’s head comes down and its arms back, it slithers around Liam to me and Sofia. BONK! A big boulder as tall as me lands on its head. It barely slows it down. I cast Scales of Ma’at on Sofia, grab her and jump.

  Kerri appears out of the smoke back in her armor. There’s a small hole where I can see her face. “Throw me will ya, ye daft beastie?” She yells. “I’ll show ye.” More rock and dirt flow around her as she gets bigger and bigger. She stomps forward and the cat dragon tries to bite her. In a smooth movement she leans back and the head misses. Then she does something that once got Benji in a lot of trouble. She puts it in a headlock. “HA HA yer not goin’ anywhere. Blast ‘em away Marie!”

  “I’ll hit you!” I yell.

  “Ye ain’t gonna shock me through all this rock, look at me feet girl!” She shouts.

  Her legs are just melted into rock below her. She’s made one solid piece of rock holding the tatzelwurm. As long as I don’t actually hit here she should be fine I think. I fire a single shell, not even at full power at the tatzelwurms face, it closes its eye. WHACK ZAP.

  “Safe as houses, lovie.” She calls. “Fire at will!”

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Poor Will. I shoot four shells with my free hand and load another four, they go too. ZACRACK. ZACRACK. The cat dragon opens its mouth and Sofia shouts for me to stop. She’s too late. The shells leave my blaster as the smoke pours out. ZACRABOOM. Kerri’s armor is broken and she falls out of it. Liam catches her, dropping his shield. He gets a face full of smoke as his aura pops around them.

  The Tatzelwurm is shaking its head back and forth. It opens its eye just in time for Agnar to stab it. Finally. I check its health. 1189. How? You stupid cat. For the first time I wish I had another element, ice wouldn’t cause explosions. OK, smarten up Marie. I release Waterfall on its head. Four more shots. ZACRACK. Its head goes down and it turns to run. Or slither I guess. No sir, get back here kitty. I drop us to the ground and let go of Sofia. We both take off after the cat dragon.

  I fire shots but I’m missing at least half the time. It's slithering all over the place. I use Scales of Ma’at to make myself light enough to kind of keep up with Sofia but not so light that I’m flying through the air with every jump. Without Basic Spark Step Sofia would be way ahead of me. I’m glad it costs less when I’m not moving through stuff. We only catch up because it’s not going in a straight line. It's so fast. She rushes into a tackle and knocks it sideways. I manage to jump on it;s back and grab two handfuls of hair. Agnar is still running after us. I climb up its back and stop behind its shoulders. I know what I have to do. I have to end this.

  I trigger Pyrrhic Circuit. Now it makes sense, I’m not doing as much damage to it as I did the bears or the frog or really anything else I’ve fought. It starts trying to shake me off but I’m at least strong enough to hold on. I see a problem though. Its health isn’t falling fast enough. I’m not going to run out of mana, I’m going to die.

  Of course I am. Isn’t this what I’ve been waiting for the whole time? Ever since the accident I’ve just been waiting, right? It was always going to end like this. I see Sofia punch it in the head and then jump away. It’s struggling, trying to get me off. It’s ok. I can at least save my friends. I hope they’ll be ok. I hope they remember me. I hope they’re not too mad.

  I pour as much mana into the ability as I can and I feel my body lockup. There’s a System message which makes no sense because this thing is still trying to swing me off. My health stops going down so fast. The tatzelwurm slows down. What? Another System message and the tatzelwurm falls to the ground. Oh my goddess. We did it. I’m alive. Why don’t I feel better about that?

  “Marie!” Sofia yells.

  “I’m OK!” I yell back having a weird flash of Agnar doing the same thing.

  Agnar comes running up. “Are you two ok?”

  “Can we not fight something that hard again for a while?” Sofia asks.

  I jump down off the cat, “My health is low and everything hurts but I’ll be ok. Also I lost a tooth.”

  “Oh, thank the Morrigan,” Agnar says, grabbing both of us into a hug. “I knew something would go wrong but I didn’t think things would go so off the rails that quickly. The next time I suggest something so foolish you can both hit me.”

  Sofia wipes soot and dirt off of her face, “I might take you up on that. I don’t mind the level though. That was crazy. I thought we were all going to die.”

  “Me too,” I say quietly. “There at the end I thought-”

  “”HELP!” Kerri screams.

  Oh goddess no, what now? We all take off running. We find Kerri with Liam in her lap. She’s stroking his face and rocking slightly. His face. There’s black veins running down his neck. He’s breathing weird, like he’s having a hard time getting air in. Oh no. No no no no no. This is my fault. He wasn’t supposed to die. I was supposed. Stop it Marie. He’s not dead there’s got to be something we can do.

  “Liam,” Agnar says loudly, kneeling down in front of him. “Look at me. Eyes are dilated.” He checks his pulse, “Thready. Health is dropping.”

  “My tent!” I say. “I got poisoned and when I went in I beat it. We have to get him in there.”

  “Stop,” said a raspy voice.

  We looked at Liam.

  “This was always gonna be the end of me eventually. Runnin’ around and…” He starts coughing. “Runnin’ around and carryin’ on like I was a young ‘un. I been lookin’ for this for a long time, it’s no surprise I found it.”

  “Noooo,” I cry. “No, Liam I’m sorry. Please come in the tent. Please. This is my fault. I should have used water sooner, I shouldn’t have shot that last shot. Please Liam, please come in the tent.”

  He laughs or coughs or something in between. “Little Marie this ain’t not a bit yer fault. I told ya. I told ya I was gonna fight this thing. If’n y’all hadn’t come along I woulda went myself one day. I never told ya the whole truth. Wasn’t no skill let me track that thing, I been watchin’ it for twenty eight damn years, afeared I’d never have the courage to go fight it. Thank you all.”

  “Please,” I say one more time. I can’t keep the tears back.

  “Marie, I got a favor to ask ya.”

  “OK,” I say. “Anything.”

  “I know that look you got, even if the others ain’t recognized it. I never did figure out how to lick it. You promise me you won’t chase a good death like I did. You promise me you ain’t gonna be lyin’ like this one day thankful someone led you here. You live goddammit, you hear me. You be better’n me. Cause there ain’t no forgiveness between heaven and hell for me comin’ here with you and that look in your eye.”

  “Liam,” I start.

  “Promise me goddammit.”

  “I promise,” I say. I lie. I don’t know how.

  “Good. Y’all make sure she does,” he says. I don’t see their reaction, my face is in my hands. It’s not a movie, he doesn’t die after saying that. Agnar and Sofia even try to make him go in the tent. They can’t move him. He told us he couldn’t be moved if he didn’t want to be. We stay with him for a while. Until the end. Kerri makes a stone coffin for him and Sofia runs off to get Brede.

  Agnar can’t look at me. I get it. I’m a calamity. He still holds me while I cry. Comforts the monster. We all know why Liam died. I messed up. We could have waited and got more people. I could have waited outside the city. I could have died with my family. I can’t stop it this time. I’m yelling at myself in my head. Stop Marie. Stop it, stop it, stop it. It doesn’t stop. I think the thoughts I’ve been trying not to for months. I don’t deserve to live. Or maybe I don’t want to. This isn’t an adventure, this is a mistake.

  Brede and Sofia come back, walking slow. His face is hard. I have to look away. They all must hate me so much right now. Will they leave me here? Maybe they’ll take me back and throw me through the portal. Or let Gerdie have me. Maybe they can make a coffin for me right beside Liam. No, I don’t deserve that. My arms are wrapped around my knees and I can’t stop crying. Agnar is there and then Sofia and Brede and even Kerri. Why are they being so nice to me? Brede and Kerri move away and eventually Sofia helps me up. It’s time for whatever comes next.

  We all stand in front of the stone coffin. Brede and Kerri made a tombstone out of the rock. Out of the granite.

  Here Lies The Elf Called Liam

  Heavens forgive his faults, his friends already have

  Brede said something first. “I didn’t know you very long, but you were a brave warrior and a decent sort. I hate we never got to do business, I think we could have been close. I hope you find peace.” His words were short and kind of off. He was upset. I don’t know how to take an upset Brede. I don’t know how I’ll take him being upset at me.

  Sofia went next. “You lived and died the way you wanted. You took your vengeance for your friends. I can’t say I understand you, but I can respect your decision. I accept the task you gave me.”

  “Ye was a damn idjit, but ye saved my life so I owe ye. I wish ye’d stuck around instead. I accept yer damn charge,” Kerri says.

  “I guess I can accept this,” Agnar says. “If I can forgive you, maybe I can forgive myself. This whole thing was my idea after all. I accept your request. Whatever we have to do.”

  What are they talking about? I guess it’s my turn. “I’m sorry Liam. I should have been faster and smarter and better. You were really nice and you didn’t deserve to die. I hope you get to be happy and see your friends again.” The tears came back and I just said quietly, “I’m so sorry.”

  Everyone was staring at me.

  “That’s enough now Marie,” Kerri says.

  That just made me cry harder.

  “She doesn’t understand,” Sofia says.

  “I do,” I say. “I understand, this is my fault. I killed him. I could have said no, I could have stayed in the woods.” I could have died in the crash, I don’t say.

  “Oh ye poor daft girl,” Kerri says. “Ye don’t get it. Liam was plannin’ to die today regardless. He didn’t think we could kill the tatzelwurm, he thought we’d all die tryin’. So quit yer tearin’ up on his account the only decent thing he did was tell us how much you were sufferin’ without our notice. We’re all fit to be tied with him, but he fought like we had a chance. So now we’re all standin’ around feelin’ like shite, blamin’ ourselves for what’s done an’ passed. You tried to save him, didn’t ya? Ye did more that we could and he let himself died, the right ass. Now dry yer tears and let’s figure how to get this thing to the city cause you got some livin’ to do and we all just promised to make sure ye did it.”

  “But, I blew us all up,” I say through tears. “Twice.”

  “I give up, ye all talk some sense to her,” Kerri says.

  Sofia grabs me, “Honey, no one thinks this is your fault. You tried to fight that thing head on without a second's hesitation. Without you we couldn’t have taken it down, Agnar is the only one who was even hurting it and he wasn’t doing enough damage to even talk about,”

  I look at Agnar expecting a “hey”.

  “She’s right. I was just a distraction,” he says. “I should never have dragged us into this, we’re lucky Liam is the only one who died. Can you all forgive me? This was foolish.”

  I don’t understand. Why don’t they hate me? Why don’t they hate me like I do? Sofia wraps me in a hug and we just stay like that for a while. I don’t want to feel like this.