"Stop it!" Gord said as the druidess lifted Jam higher, clearly intending to end his life. Gord thought the best thing to do was shove Lita, and grab her magic stick. He felt awkward about pushing a woman, but was aware enough to see his attitude as sexist. Sergeant Kress had taught him that women could be bowled over by repeatedly smashing his head into a gym floor. Jam may have poor taste in metal bands, but he didn't deserve to die.

  Gord lunged toward her, and a blue bolt shot out of her staff and into his forehead. He dropped his shield and found himself face down on the ground and unable to move anything but his lips and his eyes. "Hey," he gargled out as he used his side-eye to look at Lita. "Hey!"

  "He's got rainbow vision," she explained again. "He's too dangerous."

  "Let that kid go," he commanded, using his best drill sergeant voice. General Sylvestre had once told Gord he had a voice that could cut cards.

  "A kid is even more dangerous," Lita said, moving the staff like a fishing rod and tightening the circle around Jam's throat. The color of his face went from red to purple. "He can see your skills, your weaknesses and, if he learns to control Metal Health, he can destroy you in a heartbeat. It's for the best. He would betray us, or a wizard or a librarian would eat his brains."

  "Eat my brainsss?" Jam pulled at the electric rope and danced. Occasionally, his toes touched the floor.

  One of Gord's arms was now loose enough he could move it a few inches. Gord could move his other arm a moment later. He wiggled his toes and then dug them into the floor.

  "I'll take him into my custody," he said.

  "One of these gifted spawners killed a friend of mine. Believe me when I say doing this task does not rock."

  Gord launched himself from the floor. Lita sidestepped with a speed he had not expected, and he took a microsecond to be impressed—if only his recruits had been that fast. Her green eyes showed no panic about having a large mass almost hit her. In the next microsecond, he realized the best thing to do was to stop being so impressed with her because her eyes also showed that she meant business, and that meant she released Jam and swung the staff at him.

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  He grabbed onto the staff, stopping the blow. In that briefest moment of contact, the song 'I love Rock 'N Roll' buzzed in his brain. "Let go of JoJett!" she shouted.

  "Who?"

  "Let go of my staff!" Lita yelled. "Which is named JoJett!" She lifted him and spun him around like a stuffed bear.

  "Oh!" he replied as he flew around. "Your staff has a name. I see. We used to name our guns in the army."

  But she clearly wasn't interested in what could have been a bonding story. Her only interest was in removing him from her staff, and she had decided the best way was to scrape him against the wall.

  This was also the best time to find his own footing. Gord put a foot down and found enough leverage to lift Lita into the air. Her eyes widened, and he thought she looked slightly impressed. She let go of the staff and flipped over, landing on her feet. Her Farrah Fawcett hair stayed perfect. Her hat then floated up to land jauntily on her head. She stood behind the table, and so went down a little in his estimation. She was hiding. Was it because he was holding the staff, which he assumed was the source of her power?

  It would be the perfect time for Jam to sneak up behind her, Gord realized, and grab her arms. So when he was between the floor and the air, he stole a glance to discover that Jam had recovered his breath and was now at the door, yanking at the handle.

  "You don't have to be afraid of me," Gord said. "I just want to talk. No one needs to get hurt."

  "How did you do that?" she asked.

  "I set my feet and lifted you," he said.

  "Not that," she replied. "How did you survive my spell?"

  "I just got up."

  "You should have been frozen for hours. I need to know why it didnt work." Her voice was soft and curious, and it made him lower his guard.

  She whispered something, and another blue bolt shot out into his forehead. This time he felt only the slightest aural headache. His shoulder felt extra warm and when he glanced that way, he saw his shield tattoo was glowing.

  "That's impossible," Lita said. "Only the highest-level mages or druids could stop that spell."

  He shook the staff. "Things bounce off me. Insults. Grenades. And—"

  "To me, JoJett!" she shouted.

  Gord wondered why she would shout at her staff like that but then stopped wondering when vines wrapped around his wrists and the staff flew towards her, taking him with it. She held her catching hand below the table.

  Meaning he would have to go through what looked to be very thick wood.

  "Wait!" he shouted.

  It was the last word he got out before smashing through the vegetables and meats and cheeses and several dishes and then striking the wood. It splintered around him, but his head was not as thick as his higher officers had often inferred.

  All went black.