So, I had time to do my favourite hobby: Reading. I initially met Madeleine for that purpose, The Cat’s Cradle was a curio shop that might have had some books! I also hadn’t talked to Madeleine in a bit, especially after Noel joined my group.
I entered The Cat’s Cradle to the smell of baking bread and scented tea. I quickly glanced around, but also noticed the store was less stocked.
I found Madeleine near the back, still baking more and more treats. “What’s with the bread, Maddy?”
She jolted upwards, but then slowly turned around. “I’m hosting another baking class soon, chérie. The townsfolk here are so… ill prepared.”
I tilted my head, since most of the people in town didn’t even own the type of bread baking oven required for this. Likewise, I didn’t actually see many townsfolk congregate here, and most of her gifts were in those baskets she handed out to the kids and teens.
“But why is the store empty then?” I asked her, glancing around.
“I’m… moving to Flowers-By-The-River soon? I have to integrate myself there to learn what it’s about, so I can’t keep a store here as well.”
That made sense, but I felt a strange hollowness in my stomach. I did ask her to investigate, but I didn’t realize the implication. I liked having her around. I shook that thought off, and took a breath to calm myself.
“Do you have any books left then?”
Madeleine looked over me, before giving me a soft smile. She stepped towards me, and wrapped her arms around my waist to pull me in. She gave me a soft hug, and patted my back. “I’ll miss you too, chérie. And yes, I do. Why?”
“I killed someone a few hours ago, and I’m trying not to think about it.”
Madeleine’s left eyebrow rose, but then she nodded. “I keep forgetting you aren’t – weren’t – a typical [Acolyte]. You are far too focused on the farm than being a [Necromancer]. What are you in the mood to read?”
I read the information and just shook my head. It had been awhile since I was actually doing what I was interested in, and writing down data was the biggest point. “Something academic, I guess?”
Madeleine pouted, but then snapped her fingers. She went to the side to sort through her books, before returning with a blue one. The title said Nyla’s Chosen: The People of Lemuria. “You should probably read about and learn of your goddess, [Cryotheurge]. People are going to expect you to know.”
I nodded, and took a seat in The Cat’s Cradle for what was going to be the last time in the foreseeable future. I hummed to myself as I opened the book, and my mind immediately drifted.
She went back to baking, and I idly looked at the textbook.
Reading would usually calm me. I’d get lost in words and store facts to be used for later. There was so much information in all of these works, but right now, I didn’t feel it.
I opened up the Mortis Agrariae, and twirled my quill against my fingers. A lot of my student abilities were already about manipulation of books and writing. Lots of ink, the ability to shift words, create new tabs, but this was different.
It was far more research focused. I already had most of the information in my mind, but… I never did a controlled experiment. I tilted my head.
“Madeleine,”
“Yes, chérie?”
“Do you know where I can find two wolves, or something like that?”
“A wolf? Why are you looking for a wolf?”
“I need to see something, and do a proper test.”
“Does it have to be an animal?”
“I just need something that can produce a soul. So far, it can’t be something small like a rabbit or a deer. Wolves or people, and I’d rather not kill more people.”
“Ooooh, chérie, you’re looking for monsters! Creatures that pose a threat. Yes, I know where you can find that, and you can help me at the same time.”
I turned my head to consider. “You have something in the basement?”
“Oui. One of my other clients - not a [Night-Thing] wanted a pair of imps. They got free downstairs, and I’ve been meaning to deal with it, but they’re just imps. Might be something for my up and coming [Necromancer] to try.”
I shrugged. I guess I did have to earn my keep at some point, and I was getting prepared to kill wolves anyway. Imps were a new creature to me, and I’ve never seen them before.
Madeleine’s basement was usually cramped, but orderly. Usually was the keyword, as boxes were strewn all over the place, and the floor was a mess of doodads and weird things. The air had bubbles and soaps and embers, and strange items all danced about.
This was the illegal section.
I was sure something in here was going to kill me if I wasn’t prepared, so I elected to stay outside of the door and just peer into the ongoing chaos. There was just so much going on that it kind of hurt, like looking at six different colors while bubbles popped, a cat meowed, and someone just wouldn’t answer the door.
I was stressed!
That’s why I didn’t move out of the way when a flying red ball hit me!
It slammed against my face and I felt my skin scald and bubble up. It was hot as flames, and before I even figured out what was happening, my cheek singed, and a boil and burn took its place. It didn’t even register. I should have screamed in pain, but my body heaved and immediately tried to find cover.
I raised my hand to my face, fingers unsteady. That wasn’t like me, and I let my index push into where the pain was. I was expecting blood, but I couldn’t feel anything’ just something that felt like leather, or burnt flesh.
That, combined with the heat, probably meant something had casted a fire-aligned spell at me. I let out a breath.
At least I wasn’t undead! I saw how it reacted on Ophelia before where skin bubbled and popped, and she had to take it off manually. This was rather mundane, if not painful, so I’m still human.
That’s a plus.
“COME OUT! WE WANT TO PLAY!” high pitched screams came from the chaotic room. They sounded like two children, who had done something to make their voices even higher and grittier, like their words were scraping against glass.
I slowly approached the edge of the door, and then carefully slid my head to the side!
POOF!
A red ball flew right beside me, and I immediately forced myself back into cover. The wall hissed out heat, and I knew they were still waiting.
I was thinking like a [Farm Girl] again, and not considering my options. I took a breath, and felt my heart racing. This would not do.
I inhaled through my nose.
I held it.
I let out a deep breath, and my heart was calm. So what do I do now?
There were two sources in the room.
I could see the outlines of both of them behind the wall, and where their life force met. The [Soul Sense] and [Mortis Visio] combined made it easy for me to tell where they were. [Clinical Eye] was useful. I had no idea what [HARVESTER’S SCORN] was about, I never really looked at the [Harvester] abilities except for that one passive.
I flicked my hand up, and a ghost-bone dagger flew out of my pouch. I repeated the motion, and I could feel my Symphony hold five notes in its chorus.
I waved my fingers so the five daggers would surround the entrance of the door, two on each side, and one above. I figured the Imps were watching, so there was no point in preparing them where they could be seen.
I launched my fingers forward!
The bone daggers flew in the room, and the only way I could tell what was happening was by focusing on my Symphony. I knew where my notes were, and related it to where the outlines behind the walls are. I had to pick one target, since I was going in blind. I’d rather have 5 shots to slay one thing then split it up and miss both. I felt my note clang against something heavy, which probably means I hit a table. I reacted by taking the second bone dagger and lowering it in the world.
This time it got closer! It didn’t hit anything, but as it approached the green outline, the outline moved up and was hovering in the air!
Could it fly, or was it underneath a table when I started? I had no way to figure out, but I had 3 more chances.
I launched the second bone-dagger up, and it immediately collided with a hard object. There was something there!
My fingers twitched, and the third dagger began to fly. It rode in the air directly to the Imp, and now that I knew there was a table, I could figure some things out. I didn’t know how wide it was, or how long, but as long as I didn’t just shoot straight at it when the imp changed levels, I’d be able to bump against the wall.
The imp saw the third dagger coming and immediately slid underneath. This time though, I didn’t let the dagger fly right after him. I just lowered it in the air, parallel to the table’s surface. I felt my knife bumping against the ‘floor’, and just continued that way till it eased off. I’d either hit a wall, and I’d know there was a wall that way, or I’d fall off the table.
And I fell off the table! I quickly turned the dagger around and made it follow the top again. I called a second (the fourth) one to do something similar, but from the width instead of the length.
I was going at 5 units per second, and the length fell off after 2 seconds. The width fell off after 3. The table was about 10 units by 15 units, which meant it was just a small part of a square. Not the entire area like I had wrongfully assumed. Both of my daggers slid underneath, and when the imp tried that again, the fifth dagger was waiting for him.
I purposely punctured his arm, impaling it straight down against the table. I could see his outline struggle, trying to pull himself free.
Not yet you wouldn’t. The daggers that were lodged around flew up, and each one came down to its limbs. Only its batlike wing and a singular leg could move, but he wasn’t going anywhere.
I couldn’t see the second one at all through the Symphony. I scanned around, trying to focus on different areas.
SLAM!
I felt a heavy hit strike against my gut. I opened my eyes, blood spilling from my mouth. In front of me was the other imp, and it’s body was on full display.
His skin was gray and writhing, and the thing was short. Not Adrian short, but like... Wizex short, or even shorter. Its face was ugly, and it had a stubby nose, with two black beady eyes on a face that looked like it belonged to a monkey. Its mouth opened up to show rows of sharp teeth. It had massive wings, at least compared to the size of its body, and its hands and feet were just claws.
I don’t understand how these things could even act as a spy; they looked stupidly ugly and really, really obvious.
Of course, they also hurt. The claw slammed against my chest again, and I spewed out more blood. Rhyvesta, I was frail, but why didn’t this hurt?
Oh, right. I’m ‘Cold Ashley’ right now, so it’s illogical to feel. I really need to stop thinking about this, I’m in danger.
I shook the intrusive thoughts off, and whatever sensation was running my body took over. What did I have on me that I could use?
I could try pulling out the bone daggers, but that was still going to take time. They wouldn’t be able to rip out of my pouch.
Well, first, what was I doing here, what was my end goal?
Oh right, I wanted to observe what the anima difference was between [Drain Life] on a living target and a dead one.
I guess I’ll have to do it on the fly. This one’s still alive, and the other one can be made dead pretty easily.
I opened my hands.
The imp screeched in pain as the green life–flow from it faded out of its body and into my hand. I would have to remember this, the pain is so intense that the target can’t respond.
Makes it a great defensive option if I’m facing someone alone.
Wait, is that what I did to Mrs.Carnwich and Mrs. Bellamine?
Ashley, focus. It’s like what Noel said; it’s not the way it’s done, it’s what you do. You weren’t killing them.
But I am killing this.
Yes, and you’re fine with that.
My hand held steady as the rest of the energy pooled into my hand and the thing stopped thrashing around.
Interesting. This was a common soul, and I was badly injured. I shrugged, and absorbed it into my body. I felt a lot better, and the blood and wounds I had slowly disappeared. I hazily walked into the room to see the second imp I had skewered on the table. It was still struggling.
I placed the Mortis Agrariae down, and opened up my chapter on Souls.
This wasn’t a fact, inference or hypothesis. This was just a note that I needed more data for.
I killed an Imp with [Drain Life]. It’s Animum was [Common] and it’s Anima was 50/50.
That was enough for now, even as the imp beside me continued to struggle.
Identical Imp has been found. Will [Drain Life] after death to compare.
I looked at the imp, and pulled out my knife. The thing struggled against its skewers, but couldn’t really move. I grabbed its head and pushed it up, and slid the tip of the dagger into its throat. It gushed blood, so I carved downwards to end it quickly.
I didn’t even get blood on my hands.
I waited for its heart to stop beating, which only took a second. I then raised my hand and used [Drain Life].
I smiled, even if I knew I should have been horrified at the implication. But I wasn’t.
[Drain Life] used on dead imp. [Animum] was poor, [Anima] was halved.
Conclusion: Better soul quality gained from taking it from a living subject.
Great, another passive ability, and another active. I don’t even think I looked at the active-power of [Harvester] or [Thanatologist] yet.
I dusted myself off, but as I was going to walk upstairs to tell Madeleine I completed her task, I saw myself in the mirror.
I was covered in blood, both mine and the Imps. If someone saw me like this, they’d wonder what the hell happened.
And then it clicked on me, as I was drawing water from the faucets to cover my wounds.
I think this is the Ashley they were waiting for. The one that wants to do bad things, but is aware it’s bad. I’m actually aware I need to wash myself so no one knows I’ve killed anyone. So, I do care about what others think.
It worries me that this one does exist. I cleaned myself off, and then walked up the stairs.
Madeleine saw me approaching, and then spotted… well, nothing. My body was woundless, and I had cleaned myself up, so I might have actually looked better than I did before.
Madeleine smiled though. “You’re learning to hide who you are, chérie! Come, let’s celebrate. I’ve some wine I can share with you. Not every adventurer realizes that they’re no longer part of normal society.”
“Aren’t you?”
Madeleine shook her head. “No, chérie. I don’t like society. They’re crass, they’re mean, they do stupid things and get in the way. But I have to pretend to be part of it to get what I want, and that’s just to go away.”
“I guess I understand that. I just want to farm, but now I have to go around killing people and things and I’m not even bothered by it.”
“Because they’re not real. Everyone does things that they’re not proud of. Do you think pipelette sees herself as the one that goes to work, or the one that she gets to spend time with in her family? The only real one people can judge you by is the one you want them too, the rest are just roles we play.”
I scrunched my face at that. “I don’t think it’s that simple, Maddy. I’d love to say it was another Ashley that made those blood carrots or killed that person, but it wasn’t. I just made a decision I thought was best at the time.”
“And why is that wrong?”
“Excuse me?”
“Why is that wrong? Why is it wrong to kill someone? Did you want to do it?”
“Yes?”
“Then, why are you worried about it?”
“I… don’t think that’s how people work, Madeleine.”
“No, it is. People do what they want and justify it later. It’s not a bad version of you that existed that did something, it’s just you trying to lie to yourself. So instead of doing that and feel guilty all the time, just do what you want to do. You aren’t any different than a church that can deny healing to the sick because they can’t afford payments. Why does the church get to say ‘no, I’m not guilty’ for doing what they wanted as well?”
“Active participation, Madeleine?” I responded, since that seemed fairly obtuse.
She shook her head. “If it is your job to take care of your people, then you are an active participant. What I’m trying to tell you, chérie is that morality like that is for the weak and poor, not for some girl who wants to be a ‘Queen’. Do what you want to do and stop feeling guilty about doing it. The church doesn’t feel guilty about killing the poor, the druids don’t feel guilty about harming my sister, the inquisitors don't feel guilty about ignoring vampires. Do what you want to do.”
I frowned at Madeleine’s explanation. “If that’s the case, then why hide it?”
“Because people are stupid. They don’t see the obvious results of your actions if you hide it or excuse it through other things. Kill people? Who cares, you were justified. Deny health to the sick? They couldn’t afford it! Use Children’s blood to make potions of youth to sell to nobles? All the nobles do it, and it’s good money.”
“What?”
“Just hide what you like to do through other acts, like baking cookies, helping the poor, or minor inane nonsense that the poor people out there enjoy, chérie. A queen does what she wants, and is smart enough to keep the peasants fed. Sometimes, literally,” she motioned to her bread.
I stared at her, and then took one of the baskets. “Thanks Maddy. I think you might be crazy, and that’s saying something, but I like the bread.” I responded, unsure of what was going on.
I walked out of Madeleine’s store, smarter but a bit more confused. Noel claimed I could learn to be a good person if I understood what I wasn’t willing to do, and Madeleine claimed I should embrace and do whatever I wanted to do.
Both of these theories don’t seem contradictory. But I don’t understand why they’re not friends then? I guess Madeleine did something Noel wasn’t willing too.
Is that all what morality is? Something that is subjective? That is silly.