They walked to the large fountain and the liquidambar trees and paused in the sunset hues of both leaves and sky for Bethany to collect herself and Jet to do some research.

  “There’s a nice restaurant on the river…it’s a short walk. How are your feet?”

  “I’ll recover on the train tomorrow.”

  Bethany didn’t say much about what happened and Jet assumed it was because of the wedding ceremony. He figured if she wanted to talk, she’d talk. Her hand firmly clung to his as they walked to the edge of the CBD, crossed one of the main roads that circled around it and down a slope, heading through the botanical gardens to where a river snaked through, crossed by many bridges and filled with countless varieties of trees, bushes and flowers.

  He'd rung ahead and asked if there was a chance they could get a table so when they arrived, they were expected. The restaurant wasn’t quite at full capacity yet, being a little early for some people to eat their dinner but it was clear getting a table was no mean feat.

  “You’re on our upper balcony,” the waiter showed them to their seats, a fine view of the river, glistening in the last rays of sunlight, easily seen through the dozens of windows that surrounded the front half of the restaurant, “here are your menus and while you browse, I’ll get you a bottle of water…unless you would like to order drinks immediately?”

  “Water is fine while we look at the menu.” Bethany said, having regained some measure of composure during the walk. She opened the leather wallet. “This all looks fancy.”

  “Maybe a little too fancy.” Jet admitted, seeing some of the prices.

  “Dad gave us some money to have dinner.” Bethany patted her handbag then frowned. “I feel bad that he’s paying for our dinner and I’m not even at the reception…”

  Jet eyed her. “You weren’t in any state to go to dinner…and he offered to do this because he knew you couldn’t handle it.”

  “I guess.” Bethany’s lips trembled but she sniffed and shook off the grief that was trying to overwhelm her again. “Well, let’s see if any of this holds a candle to Bastian or Faelan’s cooking.”

  Jet read the description of the dishes, frowning as he did so. “At least they know how to arrange my plate…” He swallowed, feeling hatefully out of control. He wasn’t sure if it was entirely Gar’Dian’s fault that he had to keep his food separate on his plate, preferably in five portions or if that was just a quirk of his not so mainstream brain. Food that was mixed together was strangely alarming for him. Perhaps it was because he couldn’t control the amounts and didn’t trust the flavour.

  “What about the surf and turf?” Bethany tapped her menu and Jet looked on his to find it.

  “Isn’t that seafood on top of beef?”

  “You don’t like seafood?”

  “It’s…” He grimaced. “It’s on top of the beef…with its sauce mixed through it…you can’t really scrape it off the seafood…”

  “Why don’t we ask if they’ll arrange it separately?”

  Jet’s cheeks flamed with shame. “It’s fine…I can eat it…and at those prices, I’ll even eat the plate.”

  Bethany giggled then looked up as the waiter returned with their water. They ordered their drinks and Bethany chose the salmon for her main course.

  “I’ll have the surf and turf.”

  “How would you like your steak cooked?”

  ‘Without touching anything else’ was Jet’s instinctual response but he managed to swallow it down and replied ‘medium’. The waiter took their menus and said he would return momentarily with their drinks. Jet poured them both water, trying to distract himself from the meal that was to come.

  “I’m going to pop to the bathroom,” Bethany stood up, “I still feel like I’ve got mascara everywhere.”

  “Sure.”

  Bethany hurried away, slipping past the tables, her eyes hunting for their waiter. She spotted him at the bar, probably ordering their drinks and cleared her throat as she approached.

  “Hi, we just ordered…”

  “Would you like to make a change?”

  Bethany paused, worrying her bottom lip. “My boyfriend…he likes his food to be separate on his plate.”

  The waiter raised an eyebrow. “Separate?”

  “The beef isn’t touching the seafood and neither are touching the vegetables or the gravy…” Bethany sighed. “It’s like an itch he can’t scratch. He’d never ask because he’s too embarrassed…so I’m asking for him. He’s not meaning to be difficult…”

  The waiter smiled. “I have a brother who is the same way. Drove me nuts when we were growing up but now I wish I’d been more tolerant. I’ll have a word with the chef.”

  “Thank you so much.” Bethany beamed and found the bathroom to repair her makeup. While her look wasn’t quite as dazzling as it had been before the wedding, at least she didn’t look like the lost fifth member of a rock group.

  When she returned to the table, their drinks had already been delivered.

  Bethany smiled at Jet as she sat down.

  “That’s my Bethany,” Jet remarked, “you look more like you again.” He frowned. “Uh…do you want to talk about it?”

  “I don’t think so,” Bethany shook her head, “not yet.”

  Jet looked relieved. She knew her emotions made him uncomfortable. They pulled their phones out and compared missed messages. Jo, Abram and Adela had a wonderful time at the aquarium and were enjoying a river cruise dinner.

  “They might float by any minute now.” Bethany giggled. “Aw…Adela’s sent me her very first message!”

  “What’d she say?”

  “Hi Bethany, I am sending you my very first message.” Bethany laughed. “That’s Adela. Oh! She’s taken a selfie!”

  They filled in waiting for their meal with light hearted chatter when the waiter descended upon their table.

  “Madam,” he said grandly, putting Bethany’s beautifully cooked piece of salmon, with its side accompaniments, in front of her, “and for you, sir.”

  Bethany held her breath, looking at the plate. The chef had done an amazing job, making the separated elements of the surf and turf look like a piece of art. The perfectly seared steak was separate to the glistening seafood which was separate to the grilled asparagus stalks and a lightly whipped wall of mashed potato and rounds of zucchini. Jet stared at the plate as the waiter set a jug down and tapped it.

  “Your gravy.” The waiter looked at Bethany and winked. Thank you, she mouthed at him. “Enjoy your meal.”

  Bethany busied herself with laying her napkin on her lap. When she looked up, Jet was still staring at his plate.

  “Something wrong?”

  “How…did they know?” He lifted his chin, his hazel eyes meeting hers. “Did you do this?”

  “I…I asked…” Bethany wondered if she’d crossed a line. “I knew you didn’t want to be a problem…”

  Jet’s mouth curled up into a smile. “Thank you.” He said and his tone resonated with her being, as though she could feel the depth of his gratitude with every fibre of her soul.

  “You never know,” she giggled, “you might start a trend! It looks very elegant.”

  They enjoyed their meals, sharing flavours and opinions then indulged in dessert and a pot of tea for two. They paid, tipping the waiter and sending their compliments to the chef before heading out of the restaurant and down to the water’s edge where there was a winding walk along both banks.

  “It’ll take us about an hour to walk back to the house.” Jet glanced at his phone. “Can your feet handle it?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Jet wasn’t a big talker and Bethany found herself lost in her thoughts again, all of them returning to the same moment, when she was watching her dad and Jenn exchange vows, her heart churning anew at the sight. She knew she should have been savouring the romantic outing, strolling along the river with her boyfriend, both of them dressed beautifully and after having enjoyed a delicious dinner. But she was hopelessly distracted and in the companionable silence, she found herself going over and over when she’d seen and what she’d felt.

  As they crossed a bridge, Jet felt Bethany slip from his side, standing at the stone wall, staring at the water.

  “Bethany?”

  “When my parents got married,” she said softly, trying to unravel the consternation inside her heart, “they said those wedding vows to each other. I’ve seen the video. To have, to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…” The reflections from the lights beneath the bridge shifted across the gently rippling surface of the river. “My dad looked as happy then as he did today…” She turned to Jet who gazed at her, puzzled. “How can Jenn trust his word?” Bethany shook her head. “For better or for worse? For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? Those sum up the very issues that my dad ran from, straight into Jenn’s arms.”

  She could feel herself becoming angry. “And then, in front of all those guests, even though he betrayed those vows once before, he dared to vow them again to a woman he had an affair with?!” She leaned on the bridge, glaring at the river. “It’s like, they say the words but do they really know what they mean? Or is it just something pretty to declare and everyone goes, oh that’s so beautiful…but they don’t really know…”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  She closed her eyes, her face stinging as she tried to swallow down her tears.

  “Maybe I wouldn’t think it’s such a big deal but after that blasted Ah’Man and Gar’Dian and that wretched incantation, I know the power of words! I know you can speak life or death and your yes should be yes and your no, no,” she had to unclench her hands, “and as I listened to my dad as he said them… all I could think was…you don’t know what you’re saying…”

  “Maybe he does?” Jet offered weakly. “Maybe it’s something he learned?”

  Bethany shrugged. “I don’t think it has anything to do with him, really,” she sniffed, “I think it has to do with me. I think…I’m different now.” She put her hand over her heart. “I’m convicted to my core. To say those vows without really understanding them is like signing a contract you haven’t read…” She breathed in deeply, expelling her pent-up frustrations. “We say the word ‘love’ so often it’s like an umbrella statement…but I wonder if we really know what it means…what we’re committing to.” She smiled sadly at him. “I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”

  “It’s fine.” He said as she drew along side him, her arm linked through his. They walked back to the house they were staying in. Bethany hoped they could sit on the lounge together and just talk but Jet said good night and immediately went to bed, closing the door firmly behind him.

  And apart from the barest of communication the next day on the train, he didn’t say anything to anyone…and when they arrived in Glenwilde, it was as though he fell off the face of the planet. For four days, all texts were replied with ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m busy’.

  By the end of the fourth day, Bethany’s fa?ade of calm was as brittle as an eggshell.

  “You need to go and talk to him.” Her aunt insisted as Bethany helped her make her bed, changing out the linen for fresh new sheets and doona. It was easier with two people rather than for a single person to run around the queen sized distressed white surrounds and high plush mattress.

  “How can I?” Bethany demanded brokenly. “I’m the reason he’s cut himself off!” She picked up the pillows from where she’d tossed them, throwing them one at a time to her aunt who put them on the bed. “I went and did this huge rant about wedding vows and love and goodness knows what else and never once thought about how he would take it!”

  “You were sharing your life with him.” Jo argued as she brushed the doona down.

  “I should have known not to vent the way I did! He hates excess emotion!”

  “I think Jet’s tougher than you think.”

  “Then where is he?” Bethany’s voice cracked and she sank onto the wingback chair her aunt had in her room, putting her face in her hands. “Did I drive him away?”

  Jo’s arm went around her shoulders as she sobbed. “He’s only a few houses away…”

  “What if he doesn’t want to see me?” She wept. “What if I wrecked this?”

  “You don’t know anything for certain,” Jo insisted, “and you won’t until you talk to him. It’s his day off, isn’t it?” Bethany nodded. “Go knock on his door.” She hugged Bethany firmly then stood up. “Don’t give up on the two of you because of a misunderstanding, not if you really like the guy.”

  “I do like him. I like him so much…”

  Buoyed by her aunt’s conviction, Bethany wasted no time in walking the short distance to Jet’s front door. He didn’t answer at her knock and though she had a key, she felt like she’d be intruding. Feeling dejected she trudged back to House of Figs but couldn’t face anyone inside so she went around the fig tree and sat on the swing. She drifted back and forth, swallowing the lump in her throat as she checked her phone which showed no missed calls or messages.

  Bethany put it down and closed her eyes, trying to recapture the moment she and Jet had sat on the swing and realised that they cared about each other, so much so they were willing to disrupt their lives to let the other person in.

  She grimaced. No, Jet in her life wasn’t a disruption but Bethany knew she was an unknown element in his. The young man who had grown up misunderstood and rejected by just about everyone he met, had let her into his life…and she’d managed to drive him away.

  She could feel tears running down her face.

  “I want to fix this but I don’t know how…” She whispered. “Jet…”

  “Bethany?” Her eyes tore open and she nearly fell off the swing she sat up so fast, twisting to see Jet standing by the trunk of the tree, concern in his eyes. “You’re crying?”

  She swiped at the tears, smearing them across her cheeks. “I…”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “I thought I’d lost you.”

  “Lost me?” His surprise was so unexpected that Bethany felt a little annoyed.

  “You haven’t messaged me or called me for days! Not since my dad’s wedding!”

  He fidgeted with his hands, looking aside. “I…I had some things to think about.”

  “What things?” Bethany swallowed. “Us?” He nodded. “Jet, look, whatever I said about marriage and love and vows…I wasn’t talking about us. I was just venting about my dad and about what was going on inside of me. I never meant for you to take it seriously!”

  “But I did take it seriously,” he came closer and gave a small shrug, “it was important to you and I needed to figure out if it was important to me.”

  “I take it all back!”

  “You can’t take it back. It’s said now…” She began to speak again but he held up his hand. “Uh…it’s my turn to talk now…please.” Bethany clamped her lips together, wishing she could undo the damage she’d done. Jet walked around in front of the swing, staring at the ground. “I…don’t understand things I can’t…quantify,” he swallowed, “I need to know boundaries and definitions…and being a boyfriend has been just about the most difficult thing ever,” her cheeks reddened in shame before he added, “but not because it’s also been the best thing ever. I didn’t know the rules and flying by the seat of my pants isn’t something I can…do. But it didn’t matter because it wasn’t just about me. It was about us.” He glanced at her briefly before looking away. “I couldn’t even tell if I loved you.”

  Bethany’s hand reached up to touch her chest above her heart, aching for him.

  “I didn’t understand what it meant. It’s no use searching it up on the internet because the definitions range from feelings to complete and unreserved acceptance of everything and anything.” He was keeping his distance from her. “I even wondered if I could love…”

  “Jet…”

  “So when you talked about the vows and how important they were, it got me thinking that, if you’re getting married, the idea is you’re in love with the person you’re marrying,” his words started spilling out rapidly as he paced in front of her, “so while they’re probably more on the extreme end of defining love, vows ought to be considered as core values of love.” Bethany could hardly keep up with him now, not sure where the narration was heading. “And while love is really hard for the internet to define, wedding vows have specific meanings and I have spent the last few days researching those meanings to try to figure out what I feel for you.”

  Bethany couldn’t have spoken even if she’d wanted to. She was hopelessly dumbfounded as Jet continued, looking at his phone.

  “The first part of the vows is to have and to hold. Holding refers to affection and holding each other’s hearts as more important than your own. The having part refers to the sharing of belongings,” he blushed, “although ‘having’ also implies physical intimacy…” Bethany had to squelch the desire to smile at Jet’s phrasing, dancing around bedroom activities. “While I know we put that on hold,” he admitted, “it’s…well, it’s not something I don’t want…but it’s also something I need to know it’s forever…and when it comes to sharing what I have with you, you already remodelled the house…”

  “Without permission.”

  “Without meaning to.” He argued. “But I prefer the house when you’re in it. It feels more like a home.” Bethany’s heart was swelling and she struggled to breathe past the tremor coursing through her. “I already consider your heart to be something precious to look after. I knew that from the very first time you kissed me.” He cleared his throat. “So, then there’s for richer or poorer. I know your experience with your parents has made you less interested in money and ambition…and I do have my own mortgage free home…and while my job is intimidating and overwhelming…it’s nice to be able to do something…valuable. That I’m adding to this world and not just taking from it.” He licked his lips. “They told me at work that, if I stuck it out for a couple of years, my skill level would be a valuable asset in almost any company and other contract writers sometimes start their own business…although I like the idea of a job that I go to and leave behind…” He shook his head. “I guess, what I mean is, I’d be happy for us to put everything in together…and look after each other from it.” He glanced at her again then scrolled through his phone. “In sickness and in health…the healthy part is easy because it doesn’t test you…but being sick…or not neuro typical…”

  “Jet…you are not sick!”

  “I’m not normal.”

  “Normal’s boring.”

  “It’s easier to manage,” Jet protested, “but you already show me that you care about my strangeness. You didn’t change my room even when the incantation was changing everything else. You asked the chef to arrange my meal the way I like…and you don’t argue when I can’t buy certain things unless I can get them in packs of five…” He frowned. “You put up with so much…”

  “I don’t ‘put up’,” Bethany said firmly, “I care about you so I do what I can to help with the day to day irritations that derail the way you cope.” He didn’t look like he was agreeing with her. “Did you put up with me going to my dad’s wedding?”

  “What? No!”

  “Well, there you are then.” She folded her arms. “You went with me when you knew I would be emotional, to a social setting out of your comfort zone with people you didn’t know. I know that’s not sickness, just like the way your head is wired isn’t sickness.”

  He managed to hold her gaze for a moment before dropping it to his phone. “For better or worse…I…”

  “We’ve already done that. What would be worse than my being under the control of a powerful foe and forced to do its bidding?” Bethany laughed. “That’s about as bad as it gets!”

  Jet wasn’t laughing. In fact, he looked stricken. “In my mind, there are worse things…”

  The levity that had been building dissipated and Bethany drew her knees up to her chest, inexplicably frightened by his seriousness.

  “Okay…what’s worse?”

  “Having children.”

  The bottom nearly fell out of her world.

  “You don’t want kids?”

  “I don’t…know.” He looked at her and the grief in his eyes nearly broke her. “Bethany, what if they turn out like me? What if they’re…wired wrong?!” She said his name, standing up to take his hands but he was almost insensible of it. “What if they meltdown when their socks don’t match or have to wash their hands five times or can’t walk on cracks on the footpath…” He sobbed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t care if they do…but it’s such a lonely life…and I don’t want them to go through what I did…”

  Bethany’s tears soaked into his shirt as she held onto him. “It won’t be the same at all. They’d have a dad that understood and a mum that cares. They wouldn’t grow up the same way, I promise.” She drew back and took his face in her hands. “Jet, you’ve got it in your head that you’re a burden but you’re not and any children that would come our way wouldn’t be a burden to us. Sure they’d be irritating but that’s parenting one-o-one!” She drew his head down so she could press her forehead to his. “It’s also not something that could happen without the having and holding part of the relationship…and that’s not happening for a while.” He was shaking in her arms. “I don’t mind taking years to get to that point but it is something that I would like, no matter the way their brains are wired.”

  They didn’t speak for a long time, their breathing synchronising as a heavy dusk fell. Crickets chirped and there was a dying warmth in the air, a cool mountain breeze dropping the temperature little by little as stars began to wink into existence in the darkening sky.

  “So,” Bethany whispered, “after all your research, what did you conclude?”

  His face was buried in her neck, his words breathed onto her skin. “That I love you.”

  She gave a small fluttering laugh and held him even closer. “I love you, too,” she kissed him and gently tipped his chin up, meeting his hazel gaze, “thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For taking those vows so seriously before saying that you love me.” She smiled. “It’s not just a feeling…although I feel it…”

  “And it’s not just a decision, although I’m committed to that.” Jet replied softly. “I suppose, the vows helped us know we are in love and saying them in a wedding ceremony is a public commitment to keep them, even when we don’t feel it.”

  Bethany sighed. “That’s beautiful and so, so true.” She was surprised when Jet gently propelled her backwards to sit on the swing. She gazed at him uncertainly as he knelt in front of her. “What are you…”

  “I don’t want anyone else but you,” he said shakily but with resolve, gazing up at her, “Will you, Bethany St James, go on a journey with me…towards a wedding and a life together?”

  She stared at him. “You’re serious…”

  He nodded. “I like absolutes…and I am absolutely in love with you.”

  He was trembling yet firm. Bethany closed her eyes and breathed, her mind clear and certain.

  “Yes.” She replied without rushing or hesitation, her blue eyes opening and holding his gaze steadily. “I want to go on this journey with you, Jethro Robertson.”

  He gave a little gasp then pushed himself up so that he could kiss her. Bethany drew him onto the swing, her arms around him.

  “I thought I’d driven you away…”

  “Never.” He breathed, putting his hand into his pocket. “I…was at the jewellers in town earlier…and I saw this…” Bethany looked down at the elegant yet simple white gold ring with two Celtic trinity knots on either side of a heart shaped sapphire. There were two little diamonds in the heart of the knots and the heart was held in place like a crown. “It looked like it belonged on your finger.”

  “Jet…it’s beautiful!” He slid the ring onto her finger and breathed a sigh of relief.

  “It fits…”

  Bethany grasped his hands. “We fit.” She said firmly then kissed him. “We fit beautifully.”