All this continued and gradually worsened until it all stopped. The time for us to “graduate” arrived.

  One night, he, the pig, gave us a speech.

  “Congratulations for surviving this long. In just a couple of days, you’ll have the opportunity to “graduate”. Some “exams” will be held before that. The first one is scheduled for the day after tomorrow. To prepare you for that, there will be no daily training until further orders are given. Go rest.”

  We went to our cells. Our numbers were such that we only used two, with 15 of us per cage.

  Due to the harsh training, torture, hand-to-hand combat, penalties and sometimes even after the supervisors “had fun” with some of us (disgusting creatures men seem to be), our numbers went down to 30.

  All of us were exhausted and a few were on their last legs. C11 was one of them.

  I happened to share a resting place with her.

  She had it very gruelling for the past month. She was chosen twice or thrice a week to be used by the inhumane supervisors. I waited for her to return every night before going to sleep.

  She hated the time when she was taken by them once a week and despised when they took her every other day.

  She always returned dishevelled and looked miserable. After sitting next to me, she goes to sleep, her head involuntarily leaning on my shoulder. We used the wall to lean on.

  Around half a month ago, she started to have problems digesting in the morning and often vomited. She also did this morning.

  When all ‘Lilies’ had slumbered, C11 awoke me.

  “Hey, C23, feeling like chatting up for a bit?”

  “Sure.”

  “You haven’t been taken by anyone when we had to meet the aristocrats and haven’t been called by the supervisors after our day had ended, correct?”

  “No, back then, a girl took me and we did strange things. No, the supervisors haven’t taken me yet.”

  “You don’t want to be taken. They do to us what the aristocrats did then. It’s awful.”

  “Sorry…”

  “For what?”

  “For not sharing the pain with you.”

  “I’m glad you have yet to experience it.”

  After this, silence followed.

  “Are you curious how it feels when they do what they are doing?”

  “A bit.”

  “It feels… pleasant, after getting used to the pain. When we met the aristocrats, you know that also a woman trained me, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I vaguely remember what she did. She told me: ‘This is how women do it’ and… It’s easier if you were to experience it.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I want for us to do what she did to me,” she replied and kissed me lightly on the lips.

  I was taken aback and couldn’t reply nor move.

  Her saliva was thick and had a strange aftertaste.

  She licked her lips after kissing me.

  “This is one of the minor things they do with us when they take us. I lowered its intensity further. Would you like to experience the real thing?” she asked me and had her arm under my dress, stroking my groin through the underwear.

  “…”

  “You can also do this to me,” she moved closer, had my leg between hers and guided my arm to her groin.

  When my fingers touched her down there, she gently locked my arm with her legs.

  I felt strange and hot. My arm felt a strange liquid coming from her lower area.

  “Look at how wet you are. Well, I also am. Do you want to experience some of the pleasure? I’ll make it as pleasant as possible.”

  She asked while blushing and had her hand under my underwear, stroking my…

  I folded my legs.

  She stopped, retrieved her hand and let go of mine. She sat down, leaning her back against the wall.

  “If you don’t want it, I won’t force you. Getting forced… It’s never pleasant…”

  I was ready to allow her to continue. If she hadn’t decided to stop back then, I would have allowed her to continue.

  Another silence followed.

  “Say, if only one of the two of us could pass the test, I want it to be you.”

  “Where is this coming from?”

  “The one who checked my health said that I have been injected with…”

  She hesitated telling me, averting her eyes. After regaining composure and looking me in the eyes, she continued.

  “… a certain disease for a while now. The puking is a side effect. They said I would live with it and get better, but before recovering, there is one major side effect I have to experience and live through. The end side effect… I don’t want it. I never wanted it…” she held her folded legs with both arms and leaned her head on them.

  She looked depressed and her will to live was non-existent. I was the only reason why she had any will to live.

  “Do you want to die?”

  I remember asking myself this question numerous times. No matter how hard I thought about it, no matter the hardship, my resolve was to live.

  “No. I never wanted. I still have nightmares about C32. She’s on top of me and is pummelling me, but no one came to my rescue. Words are weak to express my gratitude to you.”

  “You also helped me with her. Without your help, she would have killed me.”

  The mood slightly improved, but I couldn’t get her words out of my mind.

  “If the situation that you spoke of were to happen, if we had to compete with only one of us surviving, do your best. With or without the disease, overcome the trial and live. We survived this long. How can you give up now?”

  She lifted her head and gave me a small smile. I was uncertain if my motivational speech managed to liven her up or if my words were that dumb.

  “Yes, thank you. You got my spirit fired up. With or without the curse in me, I’ll do my best to survive with you. After we graduate, let’s be in the same place.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “I promise to do my best, but you also must promise me to make you experience some of the pleasure.”

  “I promise.”

  “Great! Goodnight. Rest well and have the strength for the test. I’ll do my best and await your victory!”

  The disease she spoke of continued to puzzle me for a while, only getting some answers after Mary enlightened me with certain basic knowledge.

  What had happened to my only friend was unforgivable.

  Two days passed in no time. We really were allowed to rest. Even the supervisors stopped taking girls.

  The exam was simple. We were to fight hand-to-hand. One passed if the opponent died.

  We were told to do our best. If they determined we were holding back, both ‘Liles’ would fail.

  Failure would mean death.

  It was the same place where our first major exam was – the same place we had to fight the undead, where we saw how the undead ate the failed ‘Lilies’.

  We were watching the fights. They were picked at random. As we were watching how they were fighting, how they were bleeding, how they were going for the kill, none of us made any facial expressions.

  This was just another “normal” day for us, maybe a bit more bloody than usual. We all had to steel ourselves before our turn came.

  We realised it was inevitable. This exam broke the thin line our sorority was barely holding on to. Now, we had only one goal: to survive, no matter how.

  The fights were often fast, with a few decisive blows to end the exam. This time, the stage was cleaned after every test.

  The cleaning often took more time than the fight itself.

  The people with red crosses were on standby, but most didn’t want to watch what we were forced to do.

  A few of the people in black clenched their fists, while a few supervisors averted their gazes when a ‘Lily’ struck the final blow, ending her exam and dooming her opponent, another ‘Lily’, to fail.

  My turn came. I wish it never did.

  My opponent, the one I had to kill to survive… it was the only ‘Lily’ I wasn’t ready to kill.

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  We looked at each other. Our fish eyes and emotionless expressions conveyed our reluctance to each other, showing we never wanted to do this, but we had no other choice.

  I clenched my hands, my nails piercing my skin and making me bleed.

  It was cruel. It was so cruel…

  “Begin!”

  If it were anyone else, I’d have already dashed into my opponent and tried to get her on the ground, maybe try to blind her.

  But with C11 as my enemy? I couldn’t even move.

  C11 slowly walked towards me. I looked at her. She had a slight smile on her face, a sign of her determination to survive this.

  Still, I was frozen, even with her already taking a stance to attack me at any moment.

  She dashed at me and went past my right, slicing my cheek with her nails, before turning around and dashing past my left.

  This time, she was serious; her nails would have sliced my carotid artery had I not dodged in the last moment.

  I touched my right cheek with my hand. I still didn’t believe we were fighting, but the red, warm liquid on my arm was hard to deny.

  I looked at her, my glance and expression asking her what she was doing. Her steady look and posture were her only reply. She bit her lips.

  I gritted my teeth and wiped my ready-to-flow tears.

  Eat or be eaten… I refuse to be eaten…

  I broke and became a mess. I became a beast, ready to kill the one before myself.

  I wondered if this was how C32 felt? Was she seeing all of us as potential enemies and did she enjoy killing her future enemies?

  I thought she was the crazy one, but now I realise she was the smartest one of us.

  All this time, we did our utmost to harm one another the least, just to have to kill one another now?

  Heh… No wonder she laughed. It was so funny. So damn funny!

  My pretending to be friends with C11 had come to an end.

  She was just another obstacle I had to take down to survive.

  “Heh…” I giggled slightly, my lips curving into a smile.

  C11 noticed that and waited for me to take my posture. How foolish of her.

  When I was ready, I dashed at her. I aimed a double flying kick at her head.

  If I got her on the ground, she’d be in serious trouble and I’d take the initiative.

  She dodged and attacked me with a spin kick when I landed.

  I dodged by spinning backwards, her feet brushing against my hair, and backed away. I used my legs to dash at her from my lower position.

  I went for her eyes with the fingers of my right hand, but she parried me. I managed to redirect my attack and slightly cut her arm.

  She aimed a punch with her right arm. I parried and headbutted her.

  That stunned her, allowing me another chance to attack her eyesight.

  She gritted her teeth from the pain and counterattacked me.

  When my nails were near her eyes, she pushed me back with a strong kick to my abdomen.

  It was a strong hit that made me fly back a few feet. I was out of breath, having that metallic taste in my mouth.

  She got me pretty good there… I was barely able to stay on my feet. I needed time to recover my breath, but had to seem strong and ready to attack her at any moment.

  She also required a moment. Lucky for me.

  We got our posture ready and looked at each other for an opening.

  She had blood gushing out from her nose and tears coming out from her eyes.

  I spat the blood in my mouth.

  She looked at me and gave me a slight smile before she attacked with a high kick aimed at the left side of my head.

  After a crouch, I managed to hit her between the legs.

  She staggered backwards, bending and holding herself there.

  I saw an opening and advanced by rushing in at my opponent.

  She recovered, but the pain she experienced made her defence sloppy.

  I dodged an attack from her right arm, parried her left and was before her, our bodies inches from one another.

  “Groin… Not fair…” she mumbled.

  Before she could do anything, I kicked her in the stomach with my knee.

  The pain from my move made her bow from pain and forced saliva and blood to come out of her mouth, some falling on me.

  Another high kick to her face and she was on the ground with her back touching the floor.

  I got on top of her, my knees on her arms and started to strangle her.

  She tried to get me off; her nails plunged into my arms in an attempt to free herself. She showed me despair and fear, but after some struggle, her grip relaxed and she stopped resisting.

  Her eyes were lifeless, but her expression was the most shocking in the entire situation.

  It was a slight smile, red blood making her pink lips more vivid, her singular, large drops of tears falling off one by one slowly from her cheeks.

  My eyesight got hazy.

  I stopped strangling her, but my grip continued to be on her neck.

  Why… why was she giving me her smile? It was our greeting, a way to say hello, to encourage one another… Why was she…

  My tears fell on her face, but I held all my screams inside me.

  She wanted me to survive. She allowed me to survive. I gave her so many openings… She didn’t utilise any of them. She never intended to kill me…

  Yet, here I was, in bloodlust, desiring to kill her for the sake of my worthless life.

  No. I already killed her!

  I continued to sob silently, having a slight smile on my face.

  It pained me. My body’s injuries felt light compared to the pain I was feeling in my chest, in my throat… The feeling of despair and loss… I had never before felt anything like this…

  Until I heard that I had won, I didn’t let go of my friend’s neck… The friend I had killed with my own hands…

  I was declared to have passed the exam, but it all felt hollow. The price I paid was too high.

  The only reason why I kept my sanity afterwards to this day was to make sure her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. Since that day, my life has not been only mine.

  I wiped my tears and held the ones that wanted to make a river.

  One of the men with red crosses took me to a room for inspection.

  “You can let it all out. No one will judge you here.”

  “…”

  “You two were friends, weren’t you? How cruel of the Viscount to put both of you through this.”

  “…”

  “If I had known what this project forced you to experience… I would have never applied again for the position.”

  “…”

  “This country… No wonder that monster destroyed Generation Zero… Maybe, he was in the right all along…”

  “…”

  “Or, maybe, his rampage was the reason for all this?”

  My vision was hazy. I couldn’t see what was before me.

  “Our Lady… what has your pure and noble desire turned into? After your passing, is this project even worth anything? You must be turning in your grave now…”

  “Waaa…”

  I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. I cried. I cried as the man was treating my injuries. I cried after he was done. I cried until I fell asleep. I cried all my tears.

  After that day, I had no more tears for anything.

  The next day, I learned of the results: 15 of us were left.

  We were given a respite of a few days before our final “exam”.

  I was a mess. I didn’t want to eat, but my instincts forced me to. I didn’t want to live, but my instincts forced me to.

  I wanted to cry, but had no more tears left to cry. I wanted to end my life and rest with my friend, but I was too scared.

  I barely managed to regain my resolve to live on the last day before the exam.

  For the last “exam”, we had to go to a different building altogether. It was always here when we had to run outside, but we never had to enter until now.

  By nighttime, we were ready to start.

  It was simple. We were locked in small cells, one for each of us. Each of us was to have a syringe with colourless fluid injected into us. After that, we would wait and pass the exam.

  This all sounded simple to do. Too simple, but we had no other option. We never had a choice – we were either blindly following orders or dying for rebelling.

  We never managed to unite and organise a rebellion with which we could free ourselves… In fact, neither ‘Lily’ dared to think as such. I was the only one and it happened only after I had to take C11’s life with my hands, at the end of our “education”.

  Three hours after I was injected, I had a high fever. It was hard to breathe. I was constantly sweating and couldn’t stay on both legs. I could barely move and keep myself conscious.

  I felt like puking. I really wanted to close my eyes, but I feared I might never wake up again.

  I was barely able to hear voices.

  “G__d evening, Viscount B_lor!”

  “How’re the g_rls d_ing? Any troubles?”

  “Ev_rything is f_ne, my L_rd! They are eith_r passed out or are ab_ut to do so fr_m the injections.”

  “I see. G__d. You did a good j_b guarding. Take a sm_ll break. I give y_u one ho_r rest. I’ll keep w_tch myself in that time. I want to see h_w they are d_ing.”

  “My L_rd?”

  “Th_t’s an order.”

  I could hear the heavy metal door opening and closing.

  “And about you, b_cth, wer_n’t y_u a “picked” by that d_mn G_reth for his … Ugh… I’d have d_ne th_s to you w_y sooner! You w_rthless g_rbage. Do you know how much I have lost because of you?!”

  What I could vaguely remember before going unconscious was pain in my groin area.

  I managed to wake up four days later.

  I felt nauseous and I vomited a bit. Despite not eating or drinking anything, the hunger and thirst had not yet occurred.

  My underwear was torn and I had dried blood on what was left of it. I didn’t remember what had been done to me by that bastard and my basic knowledge was too low back then to deduce correctly.

  My state and predicament took precedence over deducing the Viscount's actions. My instinct warned me I was in danger.

  “Are you awake?” a man in black asked me.

  He was surprised; his tone felt unusually gentle and warm. He was holding his gun, one finger on the trigger. He lacked the mask and I was able to see his face.

  The people in black always covered their faces and this was the first and last time I saw one of them without wearing one.

  “What is your name? How are you called?”

  “C…” I started to say my code, but I puked a bit again and it sounded like a roar.

  Like the roar of an undead.

  The supervisor sighed and pointed the gun at me, his expression cold.

  “Another one couldn’t survive it… Why did I endure witnessing this hell for so many years? Barely any of those poor souls survived. I should have said something, objected or at least stood up to that Viscount… How dare he… to a half-dead girl at that… Because of my inaction, four days later, she has turned into…Ugh… Damn it all!” he slammed the wall in rage.

  While he was talking to himself, I managed to recover a bit. I gave my all to say what I was called. My instincts screamed to say my name.

  “C… twenty…three!”

  My throat was dry and I could barely speak. The hunger and thirst hit me.

  I was so hungry. My instincts told me to kill the one before me, eat his flesh and drink his blood. But they also warned me about the danger the prey posed to my life. If I were to attack, it had to be one fast and decisive blow.

  If I weren’t in such a weakened state and the bars didn’t hold me within the boundaries of the cell, I might have dared to do it.

  The thought of attacking and killing one of the people who forced me to experience such a life never occurred to me until then.

  The man’s hardened grimace relaxed after my answer. It was replaced with shock and soon, excitement.

  “Great! Wait a moment,” the man smiled.

  I never thought those cold people could have an expression like this one.

  He opened the big metal door, said something and closed it.

  In a bit, I had bread, water and stew to eat. I gulped them in no time. I ate like a hungry beast, devouring all the food I saw before me in fear of it being stolen from me.

  I needed to regain my strength if I were to kill the one before me and attempt my escape.

  I had had enough of enduring this hell. I wanted to escape. I wanted freedom. I wanted C11 to be with me…

  I didn’t want to see the people who forced me to take her life with my own hands!

  ‘Graduation’, they said. More like graduating from the living!

  With the few theoretical and practical shooting lessons we had studied, I was confident I could wield most basic firearms.

  My instincts told me the firearm was the most dangerous part of the potential foe before me, but his close-quarters abilities were also a threat.

  “Eat slowly. Don’t choke. I will get you more. Just say the word.”

  My instincts were wary of trusting him. After all the suffering the employees here forced me to experience, how could I trust them?

  But I remembered the care the people with red crosses gave us, all the help and wound treatment they did and I decided to give this individual a chance.

  “… More.”

  Not all of the people bore malice towards us. Some of them cared and protected us to the best of their abilities. The one before me lacked the hostility the Viscount possessed.

  “Got it.”

  I was given more food after a while. My instincts stopped demanding blood and calmed down, while my desire to escape and feel the freedom began to wane.

  I ate till I was full. Afterwards, I laid down, my tired eyes closing.

  The place I was in had heavy air. I could detect a faint scent of blood.

  I was awoken by a male supervisor and the man in black from before.

  “Congratulations! You managed to pass. You’ll get to take a bath, have a health check-up and have your mark finished. Soon, you’ll be sent to your Mistress,” the new face told me and threw me a blanket.

  “Cover yourself with this,” he added.

  It was the blanket they had taken from me. The thin white blanket that warmed my body in my earlier years…

  They unlocked my cell and I followed the supervisor.

  My instincts told me to obey. Fighting my way out was equivalent to dying.

  And what is the point of having freedom for me? I couldn't live freely. I could only obey…

  While I was staggering out of my cell and to the metal door, I looked at the contents of the other cages.

  Most of them were empty, with the stains of blood in them.

  There were two empty and lacking blood, like mine, and five more had unconscious girls. I saw one of them twitching her fingers, but I kept walking on.

  When I went out through the big metal door, two people in black were guarding outside.

  “Congratulations on passing,” they told me.

  Soon, I was taken to take a bath.

  After the bath, I ate more food, similar to the one I had been given at the cell, and went to bed.

  The next morning, I had a health check-up and after breakfast, the curse on my back was finished. It was an orange lily.

  I wore an orange dress that exposed my back and the newly finished marking, along with the forsaken high heels I despise so much.

  I was in the backseat of a jeep, travelling to a place while being accompanied by the people in black.

  We didn’t speak along the way nor did we have any larger breaks. Every few hours, we stopped for a quarter of an hour and the driver was rotated.

  The next day, in the afternoon, the vehicle stopped and I was told to exit.

  After all this travelling, I was feeling hungry. The food I was given along the way was barely enough to keep me fed.

  I considered attacking the ones keeping an eye on me and eating my fill, but I knew it was too risky. My sharpened instincts prioritised my life over all.

  What happened to me to become so fierce and bloodthirsty, ready to eat other humans if it meant my survival?