Colin kept an eye on his family from his chrysalis state. This time had been different from his other experiences. He would find himself drifting in and out of awareness of his surroundings randomly. During those periods, he could still feel himself and think, but it was like nothing else existed beyond his own chrysalis. He had gone in and out of that state several times so far and felt slightly better mentally every time. A day or so had passed from what he could tell and he was slowly coming to terms with what happened with Kristy.
Pangs of guilt still persisted when he thought about how he made her feel, but after having time to think over their situation, he was starting to question how safe it would be to stop feeding and progressing. He could feel himself growing smarter even now inside the chrysalis and he knew his life pulse and psychic capabilities would only grow stronger as well. His life pulse’s range of perception was now capable of reaching roughly one thousand feet out, which let him keep an eye out for danger and protect his family. Right now, his family was on the outskirts of their devastated town with no access to food and clean water. They were in the middle of a disaster that, from the sounds of it, the government was not going to help them out of. On top of that, Colin’s family was the only ‘cure’ for the people of this town and he was certain that Kristy’s compassion would force her into helping the entire town.
All of this added up to one conclusion: Colin needed to be strong enough to keep his family safe. He needed power. The pang of guilt returned as he thought back to Kristy’s look of horror. He needed power to protect them, but not at the cost of making Kristy feel that way.
Never again.
Colin could feel himself thinking clearer and faster, but at the end of the day, he still didn’t know the answer. When he got out of this chrysalis, he would talk to Krisy. This wasn’t a decision he should leave her out of. That thought brought him a great deal of comfort. She had sent him pulses of love and reassurance over the last day and he found himself wondering what he did to deserve her. He wished he could communicate back, but something about the chrysalis state still barred his communication with the outside word.
Colin’s senses of the world began to fade and he felt himself drifting inward yet again. The sensation was akin to falling into the restful state of the chrysalis, but far deeper. It was like he was within his own tiny world where only he existed and drifted in darkness.
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In the darkness, a faint spark of light pulsed. The source was not originating from Colin though he understood that he was alone. He didn’t know how to explain it, but the pulsating light was him and yet not him at the same time. He tried to reach out to it, to connect and understand it, but it was too far away. Colin could tell there was a deep well of power coming from the pulsing light. It was vast and stretched further than Colin could understand. Try as he might, it remained just out of reach. One thing was clear: this was something separate from himself.
When he finally gave up trying to connect with the light, the pulse from it gently washed over Colin and he recognized the feeling. It called to his most primal instincts. It coaxed him to act on several instincts that all blurred together, but after Colin watched the pulse for a while, he was able to pick the separate pieces apart: Consume, Grow, Hibernate, Assimilate, Control, and Obey…
The last one concerned Colin. It was weaker than the rest, but it was still there. He felt like all of those pulses were influencing him, but the first five were present in greater concentration, while the last one was barely there. It made him wonder what combination of those pulses resonated with the Gilberts and the Changed. He had a feeling that they had different concentrations of each. He had a feeling that Kristy’s cancer was part Hypnosite and was a cycle of the first three. It was hard to be certain since he was running on instinctual reactions to make assumptions, but he felt like he was right.
“Are you the reason I keep losing control of myself?” Colin said and if he had eyes, they would be glaring at the pulsing light. The idea was equally terrifying and comforting. Maybe he was less of a monster than he thought. Maybe this light was responsible for some of his actions.
The light pulled away as he thought the words. It had remained distant even when Colin had felt it wash over him, but now it pulled further away and he suddenly snapped back to awareness of his surroundings. He was still in his chrysalis, but no longer in that weird, lonely space. Part of him craved that connection to the pulsing light.
He felt confused by the interaction. It gave him a deeper understanding of the Hypnosites, but it also made him worry that he wasn’t fully in control of himself. He needed to keep an eye on those pulses next time they attempted to push him. He needed to hold onto himself at all costs. Otherwise, he might do something to hurt his family.
Colin felt a connection from Jenny and a pulse of happiness welcoming him back. Kristy sent a pulse of love alongside Jenny’s joy. He wished he could respond, but he leaned into their feelings and embraced them like an emotional hug. This was his reason for fighting to stay himself. This was his reason for never giving in.
