I was standing in the guest wing of the house… shaking. Sam had just left. But… the power of what he had just told me had left a wake that was palpable. He was something beyond the monsters of this world… I had known that for some time now. But what he had just said… it changed everything.

  It was Death. Literally, death incarnate, the Grim Reaper himself… the Pale Rider… the metaphorical existence I had read about in countless books… was real. I lived in the world of monsters… I knew it intimately. I had grown up on stories like these. But to hear something new like this, something so reality-shaping… it was hard to describe. Not only the truth of it, but the power I felt from his words alone.

  Sam was bound to Death in some way… and it made so much sense. The way he brought Mom back from the dead. The way silver didn’t seem to affect him, even though he was obviously in the direct category of creatures that should be affected. Whatever he was hadn’t mattered to me before. He was just… Sam. I didn’t need to explain what he was behind the curtain, because he had shown me “who” he was. But the moment he told me… the moment he said the words… I flinched. It was involuntary, impulsive, but I couldn’t resist the urge to back up. It felt almost like human nature to flee from the fear of death… of dying. Just feeling so close to Death himself, through Sam, all this time, but not being able to put a name to it until that moment; it rocked me. I wasn't ready for it.

  He saw it plain as day on my face and in my response. I couldn’t blame him for leaving. He said it was to give me time to process it all, but I think he didn’t know what to do after my reaction either. I wished I had more control, so I didn’t retreat out of fear.

  I was left standing alone in my parents' house, dwelling on the regrets of how I reacted. As soon as Sam left, I felt the effects of what I had just learned backing off from me. I took a few minutes to process it and to force myself to reconcile the truth with what I already knew of Sam. Even though he was bound to an elemental force like Death, and even stranger, this weird Primeval thing he spoke of, Sam was still Sam.

  In all honesty, the Primeval part was stranger, but it was less terrifying to me than the Grim Reaper; I knew Sam was still Sam. It actually made me appreciate him even more. The fact that he had all this on his shoulders for God only knows how long, yet he still stayed to defend us when he was free. When Death didn’t have him hunting down those marked for death, he was here… and that had said enough about his character.

  I resolved to myself that Sam was still the one person in this life that I wanted to tie myself to. In this world of monstrous powers, Sam was a solid rock in the darkness. He was the darkest, most violent, and destructive of rocks, but he was solid all the same. He was unlike any other we had ever known, and I wasn't going to let go of him.

  Then, as I had begun pacing back to the front of the house, I heard a knock on the front door. In my hopeful, adrenaline-fueled heartbeat, I thought Sam had come back. Maybe he thought he had given me enough time to process it all. It had only been a little while since he had left, but I still thought it was him. Oh, how wrong I was.

  When I opened the front door, I saw Patrick. He had a look on his face as he stood there with his slick-back hair-do, with his signature little ponytail. He looked mixed with reluctance, fear, but also some hope.

  I sighed to myself quietly. Part of me wanted to tell him to leave. Tell him to get the fuck out of my face, because he had that look in his eye like he was going to try and broach the subject of our past relationship. However, he had been through a lot… lost a lot of people. Annabelle and his father Bartley were gone. They had died against the scourge of Peter Grimwood. I knew that I had to go easy on him.

  “Patrick, I didn’t expect to see you,” I said.

  “Hey, Autumn,” Patrick said with an almost guarded tone, like he was nervous to even be standing here.

  I noticed immediately and asked, “What’s going on?”

  His eyebrows raised as he realized I sensed something was wrong. He was here for a reason… not just a visit, and we both knew that. He took one step forward and then stopped. He looked like he was uncertain about something.

  “I need to talk to you about something. Something that happened with Peter.” Patrick shuffled his hand into his pocket, pulling out something green. “I haven’t told anyone about this yet. I’ve been scared.” His voice shook as he started spilling his guts.

  “What is it, Patrick?” I tensed initially when he reached for something in his pocket, but eased when I saw it. I stepped forward, sensing his dread and true fear at whatever had a hold of him. But all he had in his hand was this green hairbrush. It looked so common and mundane… but also familiar. I reached out with a hand as I realized… this was mine. Why did he…

  The moment my hand touched his and the hairbrush, I felt an invasion. In that one moment, it was like something bled into me and Patrick both, because I could feel him in it as well. Then I felt nothing except a surge of fear that Sam should have stayed.

  My eyes opened at the same moment I sucked in a breath. It was jarring, and I felt almost tingly, like I was coming down off the abrupt fear and adrenaline from something that had scared me. I sat up in that same moment, feeling my hair drop down my chest and back. It was soaked in sweat, but not from the temperature, from something else. A dream, maybe… I wasn’t sure. Something had felt wrong before, whatever the dream was, but now that I was awake… everything felt like it was supposed to.

  I looked over and could see the sunlight creeping in through the blinds. It was that signature winter light, the reflection of the white snow bouncing off everything.

  The house was cold, but the blankets were warm. I’m nestled up in them again, feeling a deeper warmth within them. I searched for it blindly, closing my eyes again just to stay in the rest that I didn’t want to let go of. That’s when I felt an arm. It was his arm. He was there with me in the bed. That’s when I remembered everything that we had done as we finally reconnected. I pulled the covers down from his head to see him as he lightly snored in the privacy of my bedroom. It was Patrick.

  All the wasted time was over. All the distractions were finally ripped away, and I could see him for what he truly was. He was mine. No one was between us now… not even me. I hated the thought that I had ignored him for so long, but I finally felt like I truly saw him. This time, I wouldn’t let him get away from me. Nobody could separate us… not even my doubts or bad judgments. Everything was finally as it should be, but I just hated that so much had to happen to get us here.

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  Patrick and I were walking downtown through the snow-packed streets and frosty sidewalks. Even though winter had taken over, the city’s nightlife continued. LED streetlights lit the walkways, and neon signs reflected off the snowbanks that lined the city streets. Music bumped out of bars and clubs, while the hum of crowds cheered or booed out of the few sports bars we passed. I could smell so much it was unreal, like the world was truly alive again after being dead for so long. Part of me thought that was due to Sam. His presence… what he brought into our family… he was a shadow that blotted out everything else. Now, though… the air was clear, the night felt alive, and the smells of food cooking somewhere near filled the area. Patrick and I walked hand in hand… as it should have always been. We’d been walking for hours together after a close dinner. We hadn’t spoken in a few minutes… but the silence was good. Until it wasn't, and the thoughts of Sam popped up.

  Thoughts of Sam… they enraged me. How could I have been so blind? It had to have been something he was doing… something about what he was. Weaseling his way into our lives like that; why didn’t I see it earlier?

  Stop… don’t waste your thoughts on him. He’s gone… You sent the message, and he said he’d go. He’s gone… He’s gone.

  I told myself this over and over, trying to assure myself that he was a ghost that couldn’t harm me or Patrick anymore. I just knew things about him that Mom and Dad didn’t. All that shit about Death and the Primeval… thank God I snapped out of his pull. But I knew there were things Mom and Dad would want to know. But… I wouldn’t tell them. If I did, it would only prolong his memory. I wanted that to die out as quickly as possible, so that we could all get back to normal. Well… everyone else could catch back up to the normal that Patrick and I had found.

  Patrick and I have taken to going out to the bars on the landing down near the riverfront. We had some old friends, mostly college buddies, that we kept in contact with. Two different couples that we used to double-date with were more than excited to hear we were back together and wanted to meet up.

  Allie and Sean were good friends from the early days of our college years. Sean was on a football scholarship and was the very definition of a jock. Allie was a bubbly cheerleader who had found Sean's tall, dark, muscular form just oh so enticing, and she would gladly tell you about it. She was funny, and I liked her. I liked how much she liked Sean, too, because it meant she would keep her eyes and hands away from Patrick. I didn’t have to worry about her so much.

  Jamie and Elizabeth, on the other hand, were a different story. Their relationship was a lot more volatile. Elizabeth had cheated on Jamie a few times that I knew about. They had broken up, yelled, fought in public… You name it. But they always ended up back with each other. Jamie always forgave her and just wanted to be with her. Elizabeth would apologize for her ways, and they’d slowly make their way back to each other. That’s how it always was when Patrick and I were first together. And it was almost comforting to see that she hadn’t changed. Nothing had changed, really, now that Patrick and I were back together full swing.

  Part of me felt like Elizabeth for parting ways with Patrick for so long, remembering how many times he came and pleaded with me to take him back. But I was just too distracted by everything with the family. I couldn’t really explain it to myself as I thought about it now. Losing Allen, maybe, just the fear of it all, I wasn’t sure. But I had such clarity now. I was thankful for it.

  However, during that time apart from Patrick, some complications arose that I knew I’d have to deal with eventually. Specifically, Kayla and her feelings for Patrick. However… it was simple. He was mine. She had her chance when he was single, and she lost it. Even if she had made a move, I had this feeling inside of me that made me know once I got my head right again, I would have moved in and gotten them back. She would crop up eventually, and I’d just worry about it then. Part of me knew it was my fault, acting like Elizabeth and all… but that’s life. For now, I was just going to enjoy our time out on the town amongst the frozen streets with our friends.

  We drank, danced, and found tables to sit and talk over the loud music for a few hours as we reconnected with the two couples. They asked a lot of questions that I thought were too invasive, like why we split up, who we’ve been seeing since, and what brought us back together. When Elizabeth asked what brought us back together, I couldn’t really give him a good answer, and it confused me. I just knew that I had finally seen the truth… and we had finally dropped the walls that kept us separate, but the more I thought about the specifics ignore it became blurry. I just remembered Patrick coming over, and then we were back. The more I thought about it, the more it made me frustrated. So much so that my anger started to rise.

  As everyone talked around a large standing table, drinking beers and mixed drinks, I started gritting my teeth, staring into Elizabeth with a rage I couldn’t explain. I was angry for a reason I didn’t understand. I was angry because she had asked the question. She had brought up the subject that was generating so much mind-boggling confusion for me. I felt myself lift my right hand as I wanted to reach out and slap her across her face. But I gritted my teeth harder, and I controlled myself.

  I knew I had to talk to Patrick about it later because it didn’t make any sense. Yet the more I looked at him, the more I started feeling like Elizabeth was going to be a threat. She had cheated on Jamie with who knows how many guys, and the way she was looking and talking to Patrick in that moment made me picture her grubby little hands all over him.

  I reached over and grabbed Patrick’s hands, “Come on. We’re leaving!” I ordered as I yanked him up from the chair without a word to the others.

  I didn’t care what they thought. I just had to get him away from her. I could already see the way she was looking at him… like I wasn't even there.

  Patrick protested the whole way out of the bar, but I didn’t stop yanking on him and his jacket until we were free of the building. People stared… they talked… someone even looked like they were going to come over and say something as I dragged him out of the bar. Luckily for them, they backed off halfway.

  We now stood on the chilly streets, stepping over small embankments of snow and ice as we crossed the road to walk down an adjacent sidewalk.

  “Autumn, what happened? Did I do something? Did someone else do something?” There was anger in his eyes, but not at me.

  It was the thought that someone else might have harmed or done something to me. It was pleasing. I liked that he got such a reaction when he saw someone had wronged me. It made me feel close to him.

  “I don’t like the way Elizabeth was talking to you. You know how she is. I don’t trust her. I don’t want you anywhere near her!”

  I didn’t realize it at first, but I had grabbed his other hand and was staring him straight in the face, my fingers clutched around his wrists like I owned him. Like he was an object someone could take away from me. The distinct feeling of ownership overcame me. And at that moment, I knew that he was mine, and I wasn’t going to let him go.

  “Autumn, I’d never do anything with Elizabeth. Why would you even think that? I just got you back… I would never do anything to mess that up!” Patrick tried to quell the thoughts I was having.

  I felt my pulse surge in my chest and neck as the anger swarmed my insides. I wanted to reach across the table when she stared into Patrick… grab her… and beat the slut out of her. But now, outside, my heart began to slow from the rapid surging it had ramped up to at the table.

  “You want to just go back to your parents' house?” Patrick asked me.

  Another surge of fear shot through me as I remembered something that made those plans fail.

  “No. Kayla and Arthur are still there. I’ve been coming and going, but I don’t want her anywhere near you either. I know what she thinks about you. I know how much she wants to be with you.” I told Patrick like I was talking about someone who wasn't family. In that moment, she wasn't my cousin… she was another threat to take Patrick away. “Let’s go back to my dorm room. I don’t want Kayla around you… I’d hate to have to hurt her any more than she already is.”

  As I said the words, I knew that Patrick understood them as meaning I didn’t want to hurt her anymore, emotionally. Like she had gone through too much after losing her father. That is what I meant, but something I think Patrick didn’t want to recognize was that I also meant I didn’t want to physically hurt her. Because if she tried to get between Patrick and me, I wouldn’t hesitate to put that bitch in her place.