“Welcome, to the beginner course on human psychology, or in human terms, Psychology 101. My name is professor Eleanor.” The tall woman with long dark hair, interwoven with gleaming strands of silver, walked into the middle of the mossy meadow with easy confidence, smiling slightly as the dozen or so still growing boys straightened up from their typical slumped posture, their focus exclusively on her.
“That’s different.” Someone muttered not quite under their breath, his voice echoing amongst the roughly equally spaced circle of twelve. They were sitting out in a meadow, enjoying the pleasant light of a white dwarf star overhead. A breeze stirred the leaves on the trees growing all around, reflected in the dappled shade across the meadow. There were no groupings, no one had paired off. Carda’ans, liked their space.
Eleanor smiled slightly, quite unphased by the group. Eleanor, was special. And she knew it. Unlike most of the humans on the second carda’an home world, she did not come out of desperation. While she was a slave, her contract had been meticulously negotiated by the best lawyers in the business, and herself. She didn’t come because she was dying. She didn’t come to save the life of a child or other beloved family member. She certainly had not come because she had committed a capital offense. Eleanor, was here to satisfy her intellectual curiosity. And because someone for whom she had the greatest respect, convinced her she would enjoy it. And he had been right. “Lesson one” she continued easily “make small talk. You have been provided with a list of acceptable topics, as well as a list of topics which are not recommended. As you will see, the purpose of the exercise…” She paused, noting that everyone’s eyes were no longer on her. Turning, she watched along with everyone else as a giant walked into the meadow.
“Sorry. I lost track of time.” The giant said, sitting somewhat awkwardly at a distance from the others in the circle, barely within hearing range.
Eleanor grinned in pure joy. This was going to be quite the teaching moment. “Why are you a giant?” She asked.
Several of the boys around the circle snickered loudly. “That’s a carda’an psychology 101 kind of question, professor.” Someone called out.
“Is it? How interesting. I would have thought, carda’an physiology.”
“They’re related.” The giant said.
“Are you going to answer my question?” Eleanor asked. It would have been bad manners in a human university, but perfectly acceptable by carda’an standards. Carda’ans, did not do manners.
“No.” The giant said.
“Will anyone else?” Eleanor asked, turning to the rest of the class.
She was met with silence.
“I see. But do you all know?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
“They all know.” The giant said into the silence.
“Very good.” Eleanor responded, without missing a beat. “In that case, I would be remiss to pass up on this teaching opportunity. Had you all been human, you would, as a group, react to that which is different. Your reaction will be in the form of either admiration, or disgust. If you choose admiration, you will move towards… what is your name?”
“Aghrael.” Aghrael said, his regret at ever signing up for the course coming through with perfect clarity.
“Very good. If you choose admiration, you will move towards Aghrael. If you choose disgust, you will move away from him. Proceed.”
No one moved.
“I thought the first assignment was small talk.” Someone said.
“The first assignment has changed.” Eleanor replied. “Shall I call on you one by one to make your choice?”
“No one’s doing it.”
“Of course.” Eleanor nodded, in perfect understanding. “I understand. My request will not be enough to convince you to act if you do not want to. After all” she smiled slightly “you are not human. But the best way to understand someone, is to put yourself in their shoes. That is what I am here to teach you. And while you may choose not to fulfill my request, you all have to ask yourselves, do you want to learn? Is rejecting my request worth losing out on the benefit of what I could teach you?”
“You can’t kick all of us out of the class.” Someone said. Hand gestures signaling agreement were seen across the meadow.
“No one’s doing it. Let’s move on to the little talking.” Someone else called out.
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“Really?” Eleanor said, her smile growing wider, and just a little bit predatory. Eleanor, was well within acceptable parameters. “It is, of course, your choice. But in that case, class is over. You may all go. That is, unless anyone would like to stay and make their choice?”
“That’s not fair.” One of the boys called out.
“You are of course, quite correct. But society, is not at all fair. Humans cannot survive alone. We evolved to live in tribes, where the decision of one, can change the fate of all. So, I will give you all one more chance. If one of you makes the choice, all can remain.”
“You’re studying us.” One of the boys observed. After all, this was Prime City University. No one sitting in the mossy green meadow, under the dappled shade of the trees, was anything less than brilliant.
“Learning, is a two way street.” Eleanor responded, clearly unrepentant.
Silence stretched across the meadow. Eleanor waited. Carda’ans could take years to make a choice. She hoped it wouldn’t take that long.
“I can drop out.” Aghrael offered.
“Irrelevant.” Eleanor responded immediately. “The gauntlet has been thrown, and the choice must be made. Or the learning opportunity will be lost. Are you all here to learn… or not?”
One of the boys on the far side of the meadow got up and walked towards Aghrael. Without a word, he sat silently at his side.
Eleanor’s smile returned, as predatory as ever. “Interesting. And your name?”
“Variel.”
“You chose admiration.”
“I chose.”
“And yet, I sense from the others, that they find your decision unexpected. You made the choice associated with admiration, but admiration was not the reason for your choice. But then, why?”
“I made the choice. We both know you can’t get more out of this unless I give it to you.” Variel said. “Let’s move on to the little talking.” He smiled at her, showing all his teeth.
Eleanor nodded her head slightly, acknowledging the victory. “What have we learned?” She asked, turning back to the class.
“Nothing.”
“He’s not human.” Multiple voices called out. It was an easy answer. There was a general air of relaxation around the meadow, as the students became more comfortable. The professor was a predator, and had been recognized and would be treated as such. And the boys were comfortable. They preferred it that way.
“An unfortunate lack of imagination. I learned a great deal. First, your motivation for refusing to choose, for every one of you, was kindness. And for each of you, the choice was purely an individual one. With one exception. Variel’s choice shows an advanced understanding of group dynamics and the impact of signaling. By making the choice he made, he did a favor for each one you and an even greater favor, for Aghrael. It also helped me save face. I would have canceled the entire class, but it would have reflected negatively on me. Well done, Variel.” Eleanor smiled her predatory smile. “And yet I want to say… William?”
The look of stunned surprise on Variel’s face was priceless. “What the… but… how?”
“Your human upbringing is showing, Variel. Leading to the obvious conclusion that at least one human, within the bounds of Carda’an society, most likely your mother, played a significant role in your life. I appreciate your kindness in this instance. It is presumably entirely different from your motivations for taking this class and throwing the curve, which is actually not kind at all. Carry on with the little talking, please.”
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Human Psychology 101
Assignment 1: Make Small Talk
Acceptable Topics:
Neutral topics that are unlikely to lead to a strong emotional reaction. Examples:
- The weather
- Classes and hobbies
- Points of origin
- Travel and weekend plans
- Health and wellbeing of friends and family
Unacceptable Topics:
Controversial topics that may lead to a strong emotional reaction, negative or positive. Examples:
- Sex
- Politics
- Religion
- Appearance and physiology
- Serious illness or death
“So, the weather.”Aghrael said unenthusiastically, looking up from the instructions.
“She’s kind of a bitch.” Variel said.
“It… it says nothing controversial.” Aghrael pointed out, looking back down at the instructions.
“It’s class related.” Variel said with a grin. “And how is that controversial?”
“It is controversial if she’s the one giving out grades.” Aghrael reasoned out carefully.
“Right, fair point. The weather is indeed nice.” Variel yawned. “Where are you from?”
“I’m from sector L, cliffside.”
There was a pause. “You’re supposed to now ask me where I’m from.” Variel prompted.
“What? Why?” Aghrael asked blankly. “I was going to move on to travel and weekend plans. That way we cover all the bullet points faster.”
“That’s not the point of the exercise.”
“She said to talk about the acceptable topics and…”
“Just trust me.”
“But why?”
“Because the conversation is supposed to flow. You can’t just abruptly jump from one topic to another. The questions should be reciprocated or at least related to the previous topic.”
“I have to transition from points of origin to travel and weekend plans?” Aghrael asked, somewhat nervously.
“They’re just suggestions. You don’t have to go in order.” Variel said patiently. “Now ask me where I’m from.”
“Where are you from?” Aghrael asked diligently.
“Sector L, cliffside.” Variel grinned. They lived within easy driving distance of each other, a surprising coincidence given how far they both grew up from the university.
“Where do you travel to from that location?” Aghrael asked, transitioning carefully to the next bullet point.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Variel muttered.
“Did we skip the classes bullet point?” Aghrael asked with a frown.
“She’s a bitch, we’ve covered classes.”
“Yes but… well what classes are you taking?”
“What classes are you taking?” Variel asked, as he privately wondered if it was too late to drop the class. If he logged in immediately…
“Physics.” Aghrael responded.
“And?” Variel asked, closing out the assignment on his tablet and logging into his university account.
“And physics.”
“And what else?” Variel asked, retyping his password.
“And human psychology 101.”
Variel paused, looking up. “That’s it? Do we even have that many physics courses?”
“I’ve added a self study component to my program.”
“Exciting stuff.” Variel hissed, glaring down at the grayed out screen for class selection. The deadline had expired.