Megalodon City, Tundra, Year 404 After Founding

  Alanna watched James walk back into the kitchen. The soft leather armchair embraced her as the warmth and comfort of the kitchen wrapped around her like a blanket against the Tundran winter chill. “Hello, stranger.” She said quietly.

  “I suppose I am.” James walked up to her, until his legs were touching hers, and held out his hand.

  “Who do you think is scarier” She asked, watching him with sleepy green eyes “your friends, or your family?”

  “You’re my family.” James said with a slight smile. “Come sit by the fire with me.”

  “Oh no.” Alanna shook her head, moving deeper into her chair.

  “Why not?”

  “I worry you might want to talk.” Alanna admitted.

  “Would that be so terrible?”

  “Let’s do something else.” Alanna suggested, standing up and putting her hands on his shoulders.

  James put his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. “You said no more.” He whispered against her lips.

  “I…”

  “Change your mind?”

  “Is it either that or talking?”

  “Definitely.” James said, pulling her even closer.

  “I’ve changed my mind.” Alanna said with a shiver.

  “All right.”

  ---

  Alanna murmured in protest as he got up to leave, the warmth of his body no longer providing shelter from the chill that permeated the air, in spite of the warmth of the fire burning in front of her.

  “I’ll get us a blanket. Be right back.” He considered carrying her back into bed, but in the end, decided to bring a blanket into the kitchen, instead. Alanna needed to eat. Walking back in, he paused for a moment, looking at her still naked body spread across the burgundy rug in front of the fire, the warm light of the flames dancing across her skin. “Stay by the fire. I’ll get you something hot to drink.” James offered, putting the blanket around her shoulders.

  “Mmm.” Alanna agreed. She felt warm, content… happy. A feeling so unfamiliar she barely recognized it for what it was. She didn’t deserve to be happy. But somehow, she still was. A moment later, she wrapped her hands around the warm mug James handed her and took a sip. “Is this… warm juice?” She asked in sleepy confusion. Tundran food was crazy.

  “It’s hot apple cider. You’ll like it.”

  “Ok.” Alanna agreed. If James said she would like it, she probably would.

  “Now we’re going to talk.”

  “Unfair!”

  Pulling her legs over until they were tangled with his, James sat facing her, letting her take the warmer spot in front of the fire. “You didn’t think far enough ahead.”

  “Fine, just tell me what you want me to do already.”

  “Really? Just like that?”

  “What else do I have?”

  “You could have five million credits.”

  “Would you let me take it?”

  “Sure. I’d be five million richer.”

  Alanna burst out laughing. “Clearly, I played this all wrong.”

  James shrugged. “I’m an only son. It all comes back to me in the end.”

  “And not at all arrogant about it. But you want something.” Alanna studied him curiously. “What do you want?”

  “I want you to live your life.”

  “Aren’t I?”

  “Survivor’s guilt.” James said bluntly. He knew her well enough to see it.

  “So what, you’re ordering me not to feel guilty?”

  “Yes.”

  “Screw you, James.”

  “You know, some old earth cultures believed that a life saved belongs to the savior. Forever. So really your life…”

  “Which culture, exactly?”

  “Ah, I believe it was the Wookie, er culture.”

  “Never heard of it.”

  “Well it’s a fairly esoteric, um…” James cleared his throat. “culture.” He finished.

  “Real, were they, these wookies?”

  “In a manner of speaking.” James murmured.

  “Just so we’re clear, I don’t think I owe you my life.”

  “You promised to follow orders.” James pointed out, backtracking.

  “I promised to follow orders during the surrender!”

  “You’re still surrendered.” James said, capturing her wrists and pulling her closer.

  “I can’t help it if I feel guilty.”

  “Bullshit.” James said. “You can. You can choose. Choose better.”

  She stared at him for one long, drawn out moment. Because she wanted it. She wanted everything James was offering. “Convince me.” She said quietly. “Why did I deserve to live when so many others died?”

  “Wrong question. You did live. It’s a gift. For every single one of us that survives. Life is a gift. Live it.”

  “And that’s an order?”

  “Damn right.”

  “I’ll take it under consideration.”

  “I don’t think you understand orders.”

  “I don’t think you understand relationships.” Alanna pointed out.

  “All right fine, we’ll work on it.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Trust me.” James said.

  Alanna sighed. “Do you want me to lie?” She asked.

  James leaned forward, framing her face with his hands, until she couldn’t look away. “Is it that bad? Do you really think I want to use you and toss you aside?”

  “You’ll quote his words to me?” Alanna asked, pulling back as her eyes flashed with rage.

  “Not his. Yours. Isn’t that what you told Tony? That he knew you well enough, to speak your thoughts out loud. Your thoughts. Is that what you think of me?”

  “Sometimes.” Alanna said quietly, her eyes meeting his. “You’re a stranger to me, James. A stranger that sometimes says pretty things. Maybe you mean it. Maybe you don’t. No way to know.” She spread out her hands, pulling further away from him. “Do you want me to lie?” She repeated.

  “You rarely lie.”

  “One of my many failings.”

  “I always liked that about you.” James said softly. “All of it, Alanna? Was it all in your head?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t deserve that.”

  “Trust takes time.”

  “All right.” James said, surprising her.

  “That’s it? No orders?”

  “I can’t order you to trust me. Even I know that. You see? I’m not unreasonable.”

  “Well that… is certainly one possible interpretation.” Alanna said with a laugh.

  “I’ll earn it.” James said.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” James said, surprising himself even as he said it. “Yes, I do. You’re a terrible liar. And you would never betray me.”

  “I wouldn’t.” Alanna said, swallowing hard. There was no rational reason for the intensity she felt with those words. But it was there. “The thing is…” she hesitated. “The thing is, I never meant to, you know…”

  James raised an eyebrow.

  “I never meant to like you! I was so sure I would die, I didn’t think about the consequences of… I wouldn’t do what I did. Never. I wouldn’t… feel what I feel. I was just so sure it wouldn’t matter.”

  “It matters.” James said quietly.

  “Yes, all right.”

  “Are you going to say you’re in love with me or…”

  “I am definitely not saying it.”

  “We’re engaged.”

  “And that’s bad enough!”

  “I’m going to let this go.”

  “Thank you.”

  “We have other things to talk about. Like your job interview.”

  “My what?” She asked in confusion.

  “Your job interview.” James grinned. Sometimes, things just fell into place. “For a completely civilian job that, as far as I can tell, will not be using any of your Sarayan military knowledge.”

  “I have an interview for one of those?”

  “You do.” James nodded. “Well.” Honesty compelled him to clarify “when I say job interview…”

  “Yes?”

  “It’s more of an unpaid internship at the moment. But there might be the possibility of a real job down the road.”

  “Might be a possibility.” Alanna repeated carefully.

  “That’s what I said.”

  “James, those words do not inspire trust.”

  “How about the words ‘they’re interested in a geologist’?”

  Alanna’s eyes lit up. She couldn’t help it. “I didn’t think Tundra did geology.” She said, trying not to get her hopes up.

  “But we do have rocks.”

  “Everyone has rocks.”

  “A gas giant…”

  “It does James, it has a rocky core. Now stop getting side tracked and tell me about the job!”

  “So you are interested?” He blocked the punch she sent his way easily, pulling her across his lap. “Do you remember when you deduced our cities might be shielded?”

  “Because of the high risk of tsunamis hitting the coastal locations.” Alanna nodded.

  “Would you like to work on the planetary shields project?”

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  “What?” She asked, her jaw dropping.

  “The head of the planetary shields project asked to speak with you.”

  “James, that makes no sense. I have a bachelor’s degree. I’m flattered, and yes of course it’s my dream job. But that makes no sense at all. Why would they do that? Are you asking them to hire me?”

  “You know, surprisingly not. It was his idea.”

  “That makes no sense.” Alanna repeated.

  James shrugged. “Maybe father asked him.”

  “The head of the planetary shields project wants to speak to me, personally.”

  “That’s what he said.”

  “Who is he?”

  “Grant Pardo. I don’t really know him. What I can tell you is that Grant is the planetary shields project. Whatever he says, goes.”

  “What does he do? Get funding for it or…?”

  James laughed. “That’s a very Sarayan way of thinking. No, Grant is a physicist. In his spare time, he chairs the Megalodon university physics department.”

  “In his spare time.” Alana repeated, trying to wrap her mind around something that made no sense at all. “And he wants to speak to me?”

  “That’s what he said. And whatever his reasons, you, my dear fiancé, will do your very utmost best to impress him during the interview. Because you never wanted to be in the military. You wanted to study rocks and protect your people. This is your dream job. If it doesn’t work out, fine. But you will try.”

  “More orders.” Alanna noted.

  “Otherwise, you’re going to med school.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “Apparently.”

  “Were you really not going to tell me I was pregnant?”

  James blinked at the change of subject. “I’ll get you some more food.” He said abruptly, carefully easing her off his lap and onto the silky rug in front of the fireplace.

  Alanna pulled the warm blanket more closely around her shoulders, moving towards the fire. The soft sound of snow hitting the window was the only noise in the newly silent kitchen.

  “Do you want honey or jam on your bread?” James offered, slicing off a piece of the bread Alanna had baked earlier. There wasn’t much left. In spite of everyone’s complaints, both Tony and Clara had eaten quite a bit. He added a generous layer of butter.

  “You have honey?” Alanna asked, letting him change the subject. “Where do the bees live?”

  “Inside. They pollinate the fruit trees.” James added the butter before sitting back down beside her, in front of the fire. “You’re malnourished.” He said.

  “I’m doing my best.” Alanna said defensively, taking a bite of the bread. It was delicious. “Are you mad?”

  “About what?”

  “I should have been on birth control. Obviously. I think there’s some law, or at least a regulation. The navy scheduled an appointment for me and I missed it to study for an exam. It was incredibly stupid. You have every right to be mad.”

  “Because it might interfere with my plan to use you and toss you aside?” James asked, somewhat sharply.

  “Maybe. And generally, I can see it being annoying. And it wouldn’t have to interfere with that, really.” Alanna added.

  James sighed. “You are seriously messed in the head. You know that, right?”

  “Yes.”

  He leaned forward, taking her hands in his. “You have to know there is a good chance this baby will not happen. I don’t want you upset, Alanna. I didn’t want you upset. And I don’t want you to dread talking to me. This is your first night on the planet as a free citizen of Tundra.” He traced the bruises along her neck. “Believe it or not, I wanted it to be perfect.”

  “I’m not really that kind of girl.” Alanna pointed out, giving him a distinctly dubious look.

  “Well, that might be for the best, under the circumstances. All right then Alanna, let me speak your language. I would not do any of this if I wanted to use you and toss you aside. It would be twisted, cruel, and unnecessary. There are a million other ways I could get you to support the Tundran war effort. I don’t need to do it this way. It isn’t worth my time. Is that better?”

  Alanna took a thoughtful bite of the honey butter soaked bread. “That’s better.” She acknowledged. “You still should have told me about the baby. No matter how unlikely.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “And you can be mad about me not being on birth control. I should have been, or I should have told you. It’s a mess, and it’s my mess.”

  “I’m not mad at you.” He pulled her closer. “Whatever happens, happens. I don’t want this to be between us, whichever way it goes.”

  “I just don’t see why…” Alanna shrugged, looking over into the fire. “It doesn’t make sense, James. You and I. It makes less sense than this Grant physicist guy wanting to talk to me.” She frowned slightly, as a faint memory tugged at the back of her mind. Why did that name sound familiar?

  “It makes a lot of sense to me. And everyone who’s ever known me. It made a hell of a lot of sense to my father, from the moment he saw you and read your record. All those people on Saraya who said you weren’t worth anything, it wasn’t true, Alanna. It was never true. Everyone can see that but you.”

  “Don’t you think you’re going to get tired of fixing me?”

  “No, I got this.” James smiled that now familiar, arrogant smile. “Come to bed.”

  Still hesitant, Alanna tried to ignore the way her heart sped up at those words. She took his hand, and followed.

  ---

  Alanna woke up the next morning to find James gone. Somehow, he left without waking her up. In all the previous nights they had been together, that would have been impossible. She slept lightly, aware of every sound. But last night, in the warmth and comfort of the apartment on a large bed that felt like floating on a cloud, she had slept. She blinked into the soft light of morning sun streaming in through the window and ignored the way her muscles protested as she got out of bed.

  The floors were surprisingly warm under her feet as she wandered into the hallway. The bathroom and the garden were empty. She continued on into the kitchen, masking a sigh of relief when she saw the back of his head as he was standing by the stove in the kitchen. The muted sound of the morning news rumbled on softly, a projector shooting the images onto the blank white wall over the fireplace. And she smelled bacon. Alanna looked around silently. It wasn’t a large apartment. Just the right size to be comfortable for one or two people. There was no art, nothing ostentatious or flashy. There wasn’t even a living room, just those comfortable armchairs by the kitchen fireplace. Yet every single detail was right. The comforter was perfect in every way, the exact right weight and warmth, the velvet, more luxurious than anything she had ever touched. The burgundy rug in front of the fireplace gleamed in the morning light, the intricate weave seeming to come alive as the light of the flames flickered over its surface. If James wanted something, he would have it. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen for one long, drawn out moment, looking in on another life, a life she couldn’t quite see as her own.

  “Hey.” James said, turning around as if he sensed her presence. “I didn’t think you were awake yet.” He walked over, putting his arms around her as he leaned in for a kiss. “You can go back to bed.” He offered. “I’ll bring you breakfast.”

  “You left.” She said without thinking.

  “To make breakfast.” James reminded her. “I’ll be done in a few minutes.”

  Alanna shook her head, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of the fire. The soft caramel leather embraced her, perfect. In the bright light of day, everything in the kitchen was perfect. “I can watch you cook breakfast, can’t I?” She asked. He was leaving in a day, and she didn’t want to be away from him.

  “Sure. And I’ll make you coffee.”

  Alanna watched. He was wearing jeans and a dark, long sleeved shirt that skimmed across his shoulders. Not a uniform.

  “Hot with milk and no sugar, right?” James asked, moving with that easy grace to turn off the bacon before it burned and throwing in a few pieces of bread to toast.

  Alanna nodded, not sure how he had known. No one else had ever asked.

  “I’ll make eggs too, but you can have the bacon now.” James offered, putting butter, bacon and toasted bread on the table alongside her coffee. “And here.” He added, reaching into another cabinet and putting a white pill on the table alongside the coffee. “Aspirin.”

  Alanna hesitated. “Is it safe?”

  “Low dosage, yes.”

  She reached out, picking up the small white pill. “And why did you think I need this?”

  James grinned. “I thought I was being helpful. Was it rude to assume?”

  Alanna shook her head, taking the pain killer without further comment.

  “Would you believe it was for your hip?”

  “No.” Alanna took a sip of her coffee. It was perfect. “Are you listening to Sarayan news?” She asked, looking quizzically at the face of a news reporter that was vaguely familiar.

  “I listen to both.” James added more bacon to her plate. “How do you like your eggs?”

  “I like them to be real, actual eggs. Any way you make them will be great.”

  James nodded. A few minutes later, three sunny side up eggs looked back at her from her plate, next to her four remaining slices of bacon. “Closest to real, actual eggs.” James said.

  Alanna blushed. She couldn’t even begin to help it. “I can’t eat all this.” She said.

  James shook his head, a look of mock disappointment on his face. “Come on, what were your orders?”

  “Live, trust, get an unpaid internship.” Alanna summed up. She was somewhat uncertain on that last one.

  “That’s not bad, actually. Do that.”

  “Why didn’t I get the pancakes? Clara says they’re amazing.”

  “Less nutritional value.”

  Alanna looked away, blinking rapidly as her hand went to her stomach. “Ok.” She agreed, looking down at the table. “What’s the plan for today?”

  “I need to get you a wrist comm and get it set up. Lunch at Henry’s, since his wife invited us. Then we’re going on our date.”

  “She invited you.”

  James shook his head. “She invited us.” He said firmly.

  ---

  Logically, she knew it wasn’t Tony’s building. The hallway was wider. The shops were different. The music was louder, blaring over the ambient noise of hundreds of people. But the similarities to Tony’s building were also remarkable. Bright neon lights flashed from passing shops, drawing people in. The crowd of people pressed in on her, talking, laughing, staring. So much staring. A group of soldiers came in around the corner, laughing at the sight of them, and somewhere amongst the noise, she thought she heard someone shout ‘pike!’. Several people whistled as they passed by. Alanna pressed closer to James.

  “Why are they even awake?” She asked, stifling a yawn.

  “This place is known for being a twenty four hour party. Most of them haven’t gone to bed yet.” He pulled her into one of the larger shops, showing her a display of wrist comms. “Tell me what you like.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Alanna walked out with a brand new wrist comm on her wrist, her head spinning from the list of unfamiliar features. “Can I talk to people on Saraya?” She asked. “I mean… is that allowed?”

  James paused mid-step. How had that not occurred to him? “If I say no, will you listen?”

  “It’s up to you.” Alanna shrugged. “Is it illegal?”

  “No.” James admitted. “It’s not illegal, not unless you’re disclosing classified information. You would have to be careful.”

  “Do you want me not to?” She asked, pulling him out of the way of the passing crowd into a more secluded corner and looking up into his face.

  “Who is it you want to talk to so badly?” James asked, looking down at her. “Is it that Sarayan friend Tony kept talking about?”

  Alanna looked away. “I can’t tell you.” She said. She shrank back against the wall slightly, feeling the tension as James tightened his hand on hers. “I can’t tell you!” She repeated. “If you need me to speak to no one, if you order it, I will respect your wishes.”

  “Why can’t you tell me?”

  “Not here.” Alanna said abruptly, pulling him away. A few minutes later, they were back inside his car.

  James took out the scanner without being asked, checking for listening devices almost automatically, before turning his attention back to Alanna, his eyes narrowed slightly.

  “You’re going to Saraya.” Alanna said, getting straight to the point. “Nice tan, by the way.” She added, interrupting whatever protest he may have been about to make. “Talking to me, knowing me, is dangerous. Knowing Alanna the traitor was bad enough. Alanna the traitor who is now James Hawk’s fiancée? Imagine what they would do to someone that helped me. Really, I shouldn’t talk to anyone. You’ll probably do me a favor by ordering me not to. But what I cannot, will not do, is tell you anything about who I’m talking to. Because you are going to Saraya, James.”

  James opened his mouth, paused. “You really like the tan?” He asked. Alanna laughed, easing the tension. He liked hearing her laugh.

  “I like the tan.” She agreed.

  “All right. I won’t ask.”

  “And you won’t forbid contact?”

  “No.” James said, with reluctance. Trust had to be earned. And her trust, what he had of it, was a fragile thing. He could not take the risk of overplaying his hand. “Just be careful.”

  “I will. I won’t say anything about what’s happening on Tundra at all. Nothing that can be used against you. I would never…”

  “I know.” He pulled her closer, until she was sitting across his lap, wedged between his body and the steering wheel. “I know.” He repeated, kissing the top of her head.

  “Thank you.” She said quietly, curling up a little tighter against him.

  “I can’t drive like this.” James said a while later, lifting her up and placing her back into the passenger seat. “But you can sit in my lap once we get to Henry’s.” He offered.

  Henry’s building was only a few minutes away. This building also had some shops in the entryway, but the crowd was far less rowdy. There were grocery stores and clothes stores and children walking hand in hand with their parents, staring and then trying to pretend they weren’t staring, as James and Alanna made their way towards the building’s elevator banks. “There’s a park.” James said quietly, taking Alanna’s hand in his. “It’s usually near the top of the building, several stories tall. The fruits trees and vegetable gardens are up there, so the kids have a green place to play.”

  “All the food is grown indoors?”

  “Nearly all of it, yes. A few mushrooms and fast growing crops can grow outside in the summer, but the main food sources are grown inside. That’s why there are streams running through the building. The warmth draws in fish and other ocean life. It’s a virtually endless food source.”

  “Do people worry?” Alanna asked quietly, as they stood side by side in the elevator. “About not having enough food?”

  “Not as much these days, but they used to. The people alive today remember what it means to worry. But not today.” James repeated, more firmly. “So please eat as much as you can.”

  Alanna laughed. “We just ate.”

  “That was breakfast. This is lunch.”

  They walked into a garden that was very different from the others she had seen so far. The green plants were everywhere, giving the illusion of a far larger space, or perhaps the garden really was larger. A circular brick patio stood before them, a large wood table holding pride of place, with food already laid out. And all around them was greenery. Vines covered what Alanna guessed were the outer walls of the space, blending into short trees covered in fruit. Clara greeted them as they walked in, two serious little girls with long, dark haired braids following her along.

  “You’re Alanna.” One of the girls said, looking up.

  “Yes.” Alanna crouched down until her face was on the same level as the little girl. “It’s very nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

  “My name is Amina Hodgins and this is my sister, Vasia Hodgins.” Amina said with great seriousness. “Auntie Clara says you are nice.” Her suspicious gaze made it clear that Amina was reserving judgment until further information was available.

  “What can I do to prove I’m nice?” Alanna asked.

  “Will you play a game with us?”

  “What are we playing?”

  “Darts.” Vasia announced, proudly holding out a handful of silver metal darts.

  “Would it be nice if I let you win?” Alanna asked, following along.

  “How do you know you can win?” Amina asked.

  “Yes, how do you know you can win, Alanna?”

  Alanna started at the sound of Tony’s voice as he came out of the glass doors at the far end of the garden. “I didn’t know you were here.” She said.

  “I can do it better than Tony.” Vasia announced, her voice slightly louder as she gained confidence.

  “I would like to see that.” Alanna said. She smiled somewhat uncertainly as Henry walked up to them, a dark haired woman whose long braid mirrored those of the little girls, walked up behind him, holding out her hands in welcome.

  “It’s wonderful to have you over, Alanna.” The woman said. “And you, James.” She walked over and kissed James on the cheek without any hesitation. “I’m Lily, and the food is almost ready. Have a seat, you must be starved.”

  “We’re playing first.” Vasia said, tugging her mom on the hand insistently.

  “All right, one game.” Lily waved them on before heading back into the kitchen.

  ---

  “Fifth.” Alanna looked down at the hot water with food that was soup, which Lily had placed in front of her. “I came in fifth.” Vasia had come in first, with Henry coming in second. James took third place, although she quietly wondered if he had let Henry win in front of his daughter. Tony took fourth place.

  “They each have a set.” Clara said quietly into her ear, ignoring the look Tony shot her way. “They’ve been practicing for years.”

  “Eat your lunch.” James said from her other side.

  “I don’t like soup. I want desert.” Amina announced, clearly out of sorts after coming in sixth.

  “Eat half a plate and we’ll have desert soon.” Henry offered, pulling her up onto his lap and handing her a spoon.

  “What’s for desert?” Alanna asked.

  “Brownies.” James replied.

  Clara nodded. “It’s always brownies. The girls love them.”

  Alanna hadn’t known what brownies were, but they turned out to be delicious. She sat back quietly, watching others around the table talk, argue and laugh and tried not to miss her own family. Until James put his hand around her, reminding her that as new as it was, this was her family. His family. His home.

  “I love the garden.” Alanna said quietly, leaning into him.

  “I know mine is neglected, but it could be more like this, in time.”

  “Can I get plants? For your garden.”

  “Of course.” James smiled at her. “I’d like that.” He said, surreptitiously passing half his brownie over to her. “Come on, I’ll show you the rest of it.

  Much like everything else on Tundra, the garden wasn’t big, but every inch of space was in use. To her delight, James led her to a double swing, nestled between a rose bush covered with fragrant white roses, growing tall enough to create privacy. James pulled her down next to him. “I can get you a swing, too.” He offered. “I’ve always wanted one.”

  “I’d like that.” Alanna agreed, putting her head on his shoulder. James wanted her to live. And she wanted to try.

  They thanked Lily and Henry for the amazing lunch, walking out well over an hour later.

  “You’ll have to return the favor sometime.” Lily replied, to Alanna’s surprise.

  “We will.” James answered for her, his arm stealing around Alanna’s waist as he waived goodbye.