Chapter 23

  Rirosa Noatsu

  Nidair lay awake as the ship rocked gently, ever moving on toward their destination even as most aboard slept. What should have been a gentle lullaby soothing her to sleep was instead a minor torture as she lay there, watch by watch, hoping that soon her fatigue would convert into sleep. Instead, she remained staring at the low roof of the cabin that she shared with five other initiates. Aoshinama had her own cabin, and the two human slaves were bid sleep wherever they could find comfort among the cargo or on deck.

  Something was driving Nidair to search for the man, but the other side of her fiercely opposed such foolishness. What was to be gained? What would she do when she found him?

  Wake him? For what? Idle chatter? How shameful that I should need such a thing! Why? Why can’t I sleep? Why is he such a distraction?

  The memory of the slave girl crying as Owen comforted her awkwardly wormed its way into Nidair’s mind and she grit her teeth with discomfort. It shouldn’t bother her. Just two lower lifeforms trying to remain positive in their position of service. It shouldn’t bother her.

  Why does it bother me? she screamed internally. Is this another trial? What is expected of me? I don’t understand …

  Her thoughts awhirl, Nidair slowly strayed into a fitful sleep, but there was no peace to be found there either.

  She opened her eyes to the same black and red hellscape she had encountered while still in Risrok. As if the dream world had reset itself, she was once again lying on a field of red grass, looking up at a black sky. Her body felt like stone, her limbs resisting her desire to rise and look around. Even her head felt heavy, and she could not look away from the black sky, only the hints of red on her peripherals telling her that this was indeed the same place she had visited the fateful night her mother had come to her.

  Why am I so weak? she wondered nervously. This isn’t like last time …

  Something convulsed against her head and she screamed voicelessly into the darkness, terror clawing at her lungs and heart and soul. Suddenly she was aware of a localised pressure on the side of her head, kneading gently, moving slowly to cover more of her scalp.

  Stop! Stop! Somebody help me! I want to wake up! Why won’t I wake up?!

  A black tentacle – dripping with the same ooze she had seen coating the serpents on the initiates’ shoulders – slapped over her face, tightening slightly as it pulled whatever its main body was up over her forehead. Two more tentacles coiled about her neck, further anchoring the thing on top of her, and she still could not see exactly what was accosting her.

  Who … who must I ask? she screamed internally. I don’t want this! Why is this happening to me?!

  A memory penetrated her mind, clear as day, of the blood she had spilled over the finger bones of her lady in waiting in Aoshinama’s Soul Garden. In that moment, it occurred to Nidair that she had truly done this to herself. Her own decisions had led her here.

  No … I didn’t know …

  You knew, a voice reverberated through her mind, the thing convulsing again on her head. Oh, yes … you knew. Where it matters … in your heart … in your desires … you knew.

  Stop stop stop stop STOP!!! Nidair shrieked into the eternity of her mind. Deep in the back of that eternity, a light flickered. A thought. A long-forgotten memory of better times. Her aunt’s garden, as seen through the eyes of a child, and now Nidair realised that had been her aunt’s Soul Garden. With tears welling in her eyes and then streaming down over her cheeks, she clawed at the precious memory, trying to wrap herself in it, but the thing convulsed again, and something soft and wet slid over one of her eyes.

  She let out the sort of scream that is meant purely to be heard; a raw and horrible sound. Every fraction of it raked agonisingly over her vocal chords and her belly clenched with the effort, and yet still … there was no sound. The vision of her aunt’s garden began to fade, and the last thing she saw was the kind face of her mother’s sister turned earnestly toward her, one hand stroking her hair.

  Keep your eyes on Jiaduni’s back. He will make firm your path.

  The creature jerked back, and suddenly Nidair could see clearly again. Even her limbs were slightly lighter than before. She struggled with all of her might, but still could not shift whatever held her down. It had recoiled, as if burned, but it had not released her.

  I belong … I belong to Kiashima and to Jiaduni!

  The thing convulsed again, but this time it was backing away, if reluctantly. Its coils slackened, but did not release their grip. It pulsed again, as if trying other avenues and considering what it might do next.

  Aaah … ah, you are such a one. Ah, child. Little fool. You think a memory of someone else holds any power over me?

  Nidair felt the coils begin to steel themselves again, and she put every effort remaining in her to ripping herself free and stumbling to her feet, only to stumble again as she retreated hurriedly from her adversary. When she turned to look, she could not but bring her hands to her mouth in disgust at the fiend, flopped helplessly there on the red grass. It was black, with strange white highlights, and consisted of a soft, bulbous body that spread out into many, serpent-like tentacles that writhed disturbingly in the grass. It fixed its single, enormous, white eye on her, and spoke directly into her mind.

  Kiashima I know. Jiaduni I know. But who are you?

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "Kiashima I know. Jiaduni I know. But who are you?"

  AI-rendering of original characters and narrative by T. Sharp

  And then its tentacles shot out toward her with a terrifying speed that she would not have thought the sluggish creature was capable of. Its appendages slapped against her legs even as she leaped and stumbled backwards, barely evading its grasp, and she could feel the vile ooze dribbling down her ankle. If she had had time to think about the nauseating contact, she might have been inclined to feel violently ill, but in that particular moment, all she could think of was escape.

  With some distance put between herself and the fiend, Nidair wasted no time on further study, but turned and ran as if her very life and soul were at stake. She had no way of knowing what the stakes of this thing catching her in this dream state were, but she also had no intention of finding out. Never in her life had she felt so violated as when the creature was slithering over her head, as if trying to devour her brain.

  The red grass flew past beneath her feet and her breath came in ragged pants, albeit more from her state of mind than from any physical exertion. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and a horrified sob caught in her throat as she saw the thing floating eerily through the sky, its great eye fastened on her. It was not particularly fast, but its demeanour said everything.

  There is nowhere for you to run from me.

  There was the door she had entered through last time.

  Do I want to go in there again? What are the rules? Will it take me to the same place or somewhere else? How does this place work?!

  And then, there, a flash of gold in her periphery. Driven by pure desire to live, she changed direction and fled away from the door, towards the soft glow of gold at the crest of a faraway hill. She no longer looked over her shoulder. What did it matter how far away the thing was if she couldn’t find a place where it could not reach her?

  Please … please let that glow be something that will help me … please … please, Jiaduni … help me. Another sob choked her in mid-stride as she became painfully aware that, by any metric, there was no reason the god she had abandoned for another should save her now.

  How pathetic … I am truly lost now. I ran from one god into the arms of another, and now I try to run back again … no god could want the service of one like me. No one at all could want someone like me …

  Suddenly she was running desperately up the last slope, her feet brushing past red blades of grass. The glow that had looked almost like the sun rising over the horizon had shrunk now to be nearer the length of a man. And as she finally made the crest of the hill, Nidair realised with a start that that was precisely what it was.

  There he lay, asleep, of all things. The man. Owen. Somehow in her dreamscape. About him bloomed an aura of soft gold that seemed to filter his immediate surroundings into natural colours. Where the golden shield touched, the grass was a rich, emerald green, even interspersed with small, star-shaped blue flowers. He lay there at peace, breathing gently, not a care in the world.

  How can this be? wondered Nidair, amazed, for a single moment forgetting her pursuer.

  And then she looked down as a feeling of warmth kissed her toes. In her haste, she had stopped nearer to him than she had intended, and her toes had just barely entered the golden shield surrounding him. She wanted to collapse next to him, but she was afraid. Would that mean something?

  It would, wouldn’t it? She cast a frenzied glance over her shoulder at where the vile creature waited at the base of the hill, just watching for her next move. It shivered and spasmed, seeming to want very much to close the distance, but kept at bay by something Nidair was not privy to.

  The creature made an awful gurgling sound, frustrated and filled with a grotesque desire to possess her and envelop her with its many limbs. It lurched forward, as if driven even into its own torment by the strength of its desires, and at last, with a little frightened cry, Nidair threw herself down onto Owen’s sleeping form and clung to him. As he gave a disgruntled little mutter in his sleep – but didn’t wake – the fiend gave a hellish shriek and dissipated into nothing.

  Would that mean something?

  AI-rendering of original characters and narrative by T. Sharp

  And there Nidair lay, shivering as she pondered the horrors she had experienced this night. She no longer cared that she had draped herself over the man. Nothing else in this place could possibly feel as safe, of that she was certain. Gradually convinced that the creature was truly gone, and her heart’s thundering beginning to slow, Nidair’s head sank down to rest on Owen’s chest. Suddenly, her eyelids felt heavy. She slipped away into a deep sleep then. No dreams. Only rest.

  Nidair awoke to the gloom of the unlit cabin she shared with the other initiates. Owen was nowhere to be seen, and she wondered then what it meant that he had shown himself in her dream. Some light filtered in through the single window set in the side of the ship, but this cabin was meant for low-class passengers, and so was not deemed worthy of having more than the meanest of necessities. As she looked over to the window, Nidair could see that the day was just beginning. The ocean was visible, and had grown choppier overnight, which told her they must now be off the coast of Sarian. She shivered a little, despite being wrapped up in her travel cloak, and eased out of the rudimentary bunk she had spent the night in.

  And then came the hail from the lookout, and while Nidair could not understand his words, she understood the meaning. Land had been sighted. With a little catch to her breath, she made sure she was presentable before leaving the cabin and ascending to the main deck. There, barely visible on the horizon was the jagged line of mountains from which shikyo stone was so readily available.

  Nidair stood there at the balustrade for a long time, just staring at the first glimpse she had seen of her home in many seasons. True, this was the opposite end of the furthest island from the place she had called home, but it was still part of the collective that worked together to maintain their independence from the mainland. Despite being such a small part of the Outpost Realm, the islands of Yomian boasted a reputation for not only martial prowess, but valour and honourable behaviour, on and off the battlefield.

  Owen appeared at her side, and leaned on his elbows on the balustrade, gazing pensively out over the whitecaps that covered the ocean between the ship and land. He had not come inappropriately close, but was actually slightly further away than Nidair thought he needed to be. On the other side of him from Nidair, the human slave girl stood, clutching her own cloak to her and staring at the islands with a hollow dread in her eyes.

  Again with this? wondered Nidair caustically. We do not bring you here to mistreat you! You …

  And then she remembered the things she had been ordered to test Owen with. The grief and trauma she had trodden on as she teased and made light of his wariness.

  No, she thought numbly. I just told myself that to ease my own conscience. I suppose we are not so far above tormenting you as I thought.

  And in that moment, Nidair felt a deep shame wash over her.

  “Good morning,” she murmured to Owen.

  “Good morning,” he replied dutifully.

  For some reason, it made her sad. She knew in her head that they were aboard a ship, and anyone could hear their conversation. Caution was warranted. He was doing the right thing by replying so guardedly. And yet …

  He was so warm and close in my dream … why, in reality, must he be so cold and distant? She slumped into her cloak and looked away. Why do I want him to be closer?

  Rirosa Noatsu: eff – Defiler; lit – take break spirit it does

  Sarian: eff – the scythe; lit – soul taker blade; the name of the lowest of the eastern islands, and home to the First Guardian and Shikyo Keep.