[ARCHIVE ADDENDUM – Subject: Lev Tanel | Segment: The Gala]

  Classified under: Alleged Events – Questionable Accuracy

  Lev Tanel enters the gala wearing a floor-length sequined cape. He insists it’s “for dramatic effect” and claims it is “regulation sports formalwear,” despite zero corroborating sources.

  He immediately challenges a waiter to a duel for the last canapé. (It was a shrimp puff. This is important.)

  Livia, embarrassed, pretends not to know him. Isi pretends to have never heard of him. The shrimp puff wins.

  Lev spends the next forty minutes standing under a potted tree, dramatically whispering to himself about injustice and éclairs. Guests describe his expression as “haunted” and “theatrically betrayed.”

  The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  He eats twelve eclairs. Possibly more. Sources disagree. One witness claims he made “gentle eye contact” with each one before consumption.

  A woman tries to flirt with him. He panics and quotes a physics textbook until she leaves.

  Later, he attempts to discreetly crawl under a buffet table “for strategic reasons.” When questioned, he claims he was “avoiding political entanglements” and also “seeking spiritual clarity via proximity to shrimp.”

  Security is not alerted, but guests consider it.

  He makes three philosophical comments about decorative lighting. Only one of them is coherent.

  The evening concludes with Lev staring mournfully at the piano, whispering, “They wouldn’t let me play. They said it was ‘not the time.’ But it is always the time.”

  But it is emotionally correct.