Sitting at my desk was killing me. I hadn’t sat this long since—actually, you know what? I can’t remember. Spinning helped a little, but it’s hard to fake working when you’ve been slowly rotating in your chair for half an hour. But it’s my first week. They’ll understand.

  Somewhere around my sixty-fifth spin, Ashley walked up behind me.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” she said. Not angry—annoyed. Ashley’s always annoyed.

  “Hey, watch your language. This is a place of business,” I shot back. “And ease up a little, will you? It’s my first week. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Are you serious? I trained you for six days.”

  She looked more annoyed than I’d ever seen her.

  “Well, yeah, but that was like… a whole eight days ago. How am I supposed to remember?”

  At this point I knew exactly what I was doing.

  “And anyway, why are you so uptight today? You’re usually a lot more relaxed,” I said, grabbing a lollipop off my desk and unwrapping it.

  “Ew. Grape.”

  I’ve always hated grape. Worst flavor by far. I glanced back at my desk and realized grape was all I had left. Great. Even my candy hates me.

  Ashley sighed. “Maybe instead of spinning in circles for an hour, you could do the branch report I gave you three hours ago.”

  She said it like she was being reasonable. She never is.

  “Yeah, yeah, it’s done,” I said, shifting the lollipop to the left side of my mouth. I was lying, obviously. I hadn’t even touched the damn thing.

  I spun around to grab the stack of papers beside me. This was my last shot. A desperate hail mary.

  “Well, hand it over. I need it for my meeting.”

  Well, shit. That’s not good.

  “On second thought, let me review it—just to make sure nothing’s off.” No way she was this stupid. She had to know.

  “No, I’m sure it’s fine.”

  Oh my god. She is that stupid.

  She snatched the papers out of my hands before I could move them.

  “What is this?” she said.

  If I grabbed the wrong folder, maybe I still had a chance.

  Please let it be the wrong folder.

  I started tapping my foot. I could feel sweat building in my palms.

  “Well, that depends,” I said. “What exactly are you looking at?”

  She pulled the paper out and flipped it around to face me.

  Blank. Completely blank.

  “Oh. Yeah. That.”

  My mouth went dry.

  “I, uh… yeah.”

  I’m fucked.

  So very fucked.

  But to my shock — and honestly, horror — she just took a deep breath and looked at me.

  “This better not happen again. You’ll never make it out of this branch like this.”

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  To be honest… she was right.

  I don’t want to be stuck on the ground floor forever.

  This is where all the new hires start.

  And all the people on “administrative probation.”

  In other words: this place is hell.

  “Well, in any case, you have half an hour to get this done. Leave it on my desk,” she said, calmer than I’d ever seen her.

  She took two steps, then added, “Also, don’t trust anything in the break room. That place is a death trap.”

  Before I could ask what the hell that meant, She flicked the back of my head. "Get to work.”

  “I might have to tell HR about that,” I said as she walked away.

  She just glared at me and rounded the corner.

  I barely scraped through the thing. Total struggle. I can really see why she gave me three hours to do it.

  How much of what I put in is correct? Up for debate. But it’s done, which is what matters.

  I pushed open the door to Ashley’s offi—

  “Josh! How’s it going? I missed you, man!”

  I recognized that voice instantly.

  “Rodney, what are you doing here?” I said through gritted teeth. “I’m trying to work.”

  “I can’t drop by to see you, cuz?” he said, elbowing me in the ribs way too hard. It actually knocked me off balance for a second.

  “No, you can’t. And why would you? I see you every damn day.”

  I grabbed his arm, the one he’d been enthusiastically jammed into my ribs for a solid five seconds.

  “Well, anyway, I’m busy, so we’ll talk later. Okay? No—get out. I need to talk to Ashley.”

  To be honest, he could’ve stayed. It’s not like we were talking about anything important.

  But I see enough of this guy already.

  “Fine, I’ll be waiting at your desk,” he said, pulling his arm free and walking out.

  Great.

  At least I know where not to go when I’m done here.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose.

  “Why would you let him in your office?”

  I’m grateful to Rodney for letting me crash at his place and all, but he’s just too much sometimes. And right now it’s clear he wants something from me.

  “You know what? I don’t care. Here.”

  I tossed the folder onto her desk and turned to leave.

  “Wait,” she said. “Good job. And… take your lunch break.”

  She winked at me.

  I thanked my lucky stars—and more importantly Ashley—in my head.

  You’d never catch me thanking her out loud.

  “I guess I will,” I said, pushing the door open and sliding out.

  I don’t hate Rodney or anything. How could I? We’re family, and he’s doing me a solid by letting me stay with him.

  But I don’t need him here. He’s already made my job difficult enough.

  I know if I go back to my desk he’s going to ramble for half an hour about this or that, and then ask me to buy him something because “I used all the money Mom and Dad sent me.”

  Which would be fine once in a while—he does it literally every damn month.

  Stepping into the break room, the smell hit me instantly. Smoke.

  Not fire.

  Just that nasty burning-wires smell.

  I chose to ignore it and headed for the fridge.

  I pulled out a cup of instant noodles.

  Why someone would refrigerate dehydrated food, I have no idea.

  But I’m in no position to judge—not while stealing it.

  I filled the cup with warm water, put a paper towel down, set the noodles on top, and punched in the time.

  You know the number.

  I know the number.

  We all know the number.

  Two minutes and thirty seconds.

  Then we wait.

  Thirty seconds go by.

  Forty-five.

  A minute—

  BOOM.

  The sound tore through the room — and probably the entire building.

  Then came the brightest flash I’ve ever seen in my life. No bullshit, it felt like someone melted my retinas.

  When the mini flashbang finally faded, the smell hit me.

  Smoke.

  The same burning-wires smell from earlier, only worse.

  My ears were still ringing, so everything sounded underwater as Ashley appeared in the doorway, arms crossed, mouth moving.

  “—told—you—” was all I caught.

  “What?” I yelled.

  She slowed down like she was talking to a toddler.

  “What. Did. I. Tell. You. About. The. Break room?”

  “Fuck your little warning!” I said, almost tearing up. “Why is that death trap still in here?”

  “It’s a teaching tool,” she said, brushing soot off her sleeve. “Listen to me next time.”

  She turned to leave.

  “Well, I’m off. I’ve got a meeting. Have fun with the clean-up.”

  I looked up.

  Noodles everywhere.

  A black soot stain above the devilish microwave.

  The paper towel was on fire a little. Smoke drifting lazily toward the ceiling.

  Yeah.

  Lunch break was canceled.