The temples of the divine and celestial dragons were spread throughout the land in order to build sanctuaries that could keep out the corruption of the demonic beasts. No one fully corrupted can pass the barrier of divine Qi. Those partially corrupted fall into a sleep-like state until enough of the corruption has been cleansed.

  Don’t look back, don’t look back. Tae repeated in his mind. His breathing ragged as he ran. He’d been running for almost a full day now. His mind was still replaying the moments leading up to now. He’d slit the man’s throat in his sleep, just like he’d been ordered to. Then he’d turned on his watchers. The moment he’d realized he’d only been assigned two watchers he’d begun enacting his plan. Both men were dead now. Tae knew he only had another few hours before someone realized things had gone wrong and came after him.

  A corner of his mind screamed in fear. He couldn’t let himself get caught. It would be better to die than go back now. Only his mother’s last words had kept him going this long. He owed it to her to take this chance to be free. He was grateful to how much the master had lowered his guard around him over the years following her death. He’d been able to memorize the maps without getting caught. The men had gotten more lax and he’d overheard them talk about the need to avoid a certain area. Tae had been surprised at how close the area was to the compound. It would only take him another day to cross over. He just had to make it until then.

  Tae kept the mountain in his sight. He just had to make it into that mountain. He wasn’t entirely sure what would come after, but even living alone in the wilderness would be better. He knew enough to keep himself alive. He’d never known comfort like the kind the man he’d killed had lived in after all.

  Despite his head start Tae didn’t dare slow down even as his body tired. He couldn’t slow. Not until he made it far enough into that mountain range. He’d be harder to track there. The area was under the protection of a group even the master was cautious of. Something about their ancient ties to the empire. Tae didn’t really understand, but apparently even the emperors were careful about this group. The master had said they were just as much of a problem as the sleeping dragons whatever that meant.

  Tae felt his muscles burning with exhaustion as the terrain began to change. He’d lost track of the hours now. The sun was starting to set again. His strong Qi was the only reason he hadn’t collapsed yet. Tae tapped into it even further to help him navigate the darkening forest. Only when the sun rose again did Tae risk the time to climb a tree to check his surroundings. He was surprised to find he was more than half way up the mountain. He couldn’t let himself relax, not yet. He needed somewhere to hide and fast. His Qi was about to run out and the master’s men weren’t the only danger out here in the wild.

  Tae lurched upright panting and panicked. Only the feel of Min’s Qi next to him kept him from springing out of the bed. He stumbled from the bed not wanting to wake Min. His mind was only half in the present and he couldn’t seem to stop shaking. Tae barely made it to the bathroom before his legs gave out. He grabbed for a bucket just in time to hurl the contents of his stomach into it. He gasped for air as his stomach continued to revolt. He used what breath he could gather to repeat the year, his age, and his location to himself. He had escaped almost fifteen years ago now. The feel of his own tongue in his mouth made him ill.

  Part of him still was fourteen and remembering other things he’d been forced to put in his mouth and other places. It’d been five years since he’d had to fight these memories like this. The thought that he’d killed everyone who had been part of his being raped regularly had comforted him. Now he wasn’t sure how many of them were still alive. His body shuddered and tears blurred his vision. He tried to remind himself that he was so much stronger now, that no one would dare to treat him that way, no one who tried to beat, whip, starve, or otherwise torture him into compliance would survive the attempt. It wasn’t working. Feeling his Qi beginning to go erratic, Tae began to whimper. He was scared of going out of control again.

  “Min…” Tae was barely able to get the word out, he couldn’t seem to hold onto enough air. He felt the comforting golden Qi brighten, but couldn’t speak anymore. The familiar footsteps had Tae reaching for his love, his light, his peace, before Min had even opened the door. It felt like he’d blinked and suddenly Min’s arms were wrapped around him.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Min said quietly. “We’re safe, it’s going to be okay.”

  Some of the panic faded and the whimpers turned to sobs as Tae clung to Min. His mind clung just as fiercely to the words Min spoke, to the sound of his lover’s voice. He focused on Min while working to slow his breathing and take deeper breaths. Slowly, little by little, he became more grounded in his surroundings, in Min’s presence.

  “Think you’d be okay to come back to the bed?” Min asked. Tae nodded. He shifted to slowly push himself up only to have Min lift him to his feet. The fact that Min could lift him surprised a chuckle out of Tae. It sounded a little manic, but was better than the whimpering and sobs from earlier. Min supported most of his weight as they made their way back to the bed.

  Tae curled around Min as soon as they were back in the bed. He could feel Min’s heartbeat against him and found the sensation soothing. The fact that Min hadn’t asked any questions, and wouldn’t unless Tae indicated he was ready to talk about what had happened was a relief. Tae nuzzled into Min, trying to surround himself with the scent, Qi, presence, and very existence of his love. He didn’t want to sleep and didn’t think he’d sleep again any time soon. Instead he just laid there letting the feeling of Min calm and comfort him.

  ***

  Min lay on the grass, the sun warm against his skin and his closed eyelids. After having been up most of the night with Tae, comforting his lover, he was letting himself just relax today. The weight of his exhaustion weighed him down and Min found himself drifting off.

  Min laughed as he ran after his older brother. He knew Hanseul wouldn’t go so much faster that he couldn’t keep up. He was Min’s favourite and Min new without a shadow of a doubt that he was his big brother’s favourite as well. The colour that surrounded his brother told him afterall, and it’d never been wrong.

  Min spotted a familiar figure and got more excited. He tried to go faster and lost his balance. He was grabbed before he could fall and Min giggled looking up at his big brother. Hanseul looked worried but Min hadn’t been afraid for a moment. He knew his brother would at the very least help him back up if he fell.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “Aunty!” Min cried with excitement. He then realized she wasn’t alone and bowed politely instead of running and hugging her legs like he wanted to. “Empress mother.” He greeted her formally.

  When she didn’t respond or ruffle his hair like she usually did Min glanced up confused. He was even more confused when Hanseul grabbed his hand. Anger, jealousy, venom, insecurity. Negative emotions swirled around the group of adults. Their colours vibrant like those of a poisonous frog. Min glanced at his older brother for reassurance, only to see fear, stress, and anxiety where joy, excitement, and concern had been just moments before. The colour hadn’t changed, it rarely did, but the way it pulsated erratically was more than enough of an indication that things were not okay.

  Min looked back at aunty Hea, his older brother’s mother, the empress. There was something wrong with her Qi. Min wanted to step forward to comfort her, but his instincts held him still. The same instincts that had let him know the maid last week was going to hurt Hanseul. Hanseul guided him to back up and the two of them shuffled to the side out of the empress’ way. The empress and her entourage moved on without ever addressing either of them. Min wanted to call after her, ask aunty Hea why she was mad at him, what he’d done wrong, but held his tongue. There were two people among the adults with the empress that he didn’t recognize. Both had dark Qi, it was a dark, almost sickly red colour streaked with black. Something about them, about their Qi had him staying quiet. He didn’t want to draw their attention to him. Min gripped his big brother’s hand trying to keep from trembling from the fear that radiated from his very core.

  Min woke with a start. Fear still coursing through him. He blinked and sat up trying to bring his surroundings into focus. The sun had moved, but not enough that he was worried about how long he’d been out here. His dream had been more memory than dream. He’d forgotten about that day. It’d marked the beginning of the struggle between his mother and Hanseul’s.

  The empress Hea from his earliest memories had been kind, sweet, loving. He’d been convinced that she, like the emperor, had been in love with his mother. He’d felt like the luckiest boy alive having two loving mothers he could run to at any given moment. He still wasn’t sure why she’d changed. She had changed. Gone cold, become vindictive, and paranoid. It had taken less than a year for her to go from warm to trying to kill him. Her betrayal towards him wasn’t the worst part. The worst had been watching her yell at Hanseul. The way her behaviour broke his mother’s heart. The look in her eyes when his mother had nearly died from the poison that had been meant for him. There had been no remorse there.

  Min shook off the grim memories and got to his feet. He brushed off the grass and made his way inside again. He hadn’t made it more than a few steps before he was pulled into a sudden embrace. Min blinked in surprise and then chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Tae and nuzzled into his love’s shoulder.

  “I’m alright.” Min murmured. “Just a bad dream.”

  Tae just scooped him up and Min let him. He was safe in Tae’s arms. The concern in Tae’s eyes told him that his lover didn’t entirely believe him. He couldn’t blame him. His Qi had probably lit up like a flare as he’d woken up.

  “Want to talk about it?” Tae asked as they entered their rooms. “It’s the least I can do after your help last night.”

  “Not particularly.” Min told him. “I would, however, love a distraction.”

  Min didn’t wait for Tae to respond. He kissed his lover firmly on the lips. There was no hesitation in the response. Min wasn’t even sure how either of them were breathing still. Tae set him on the bed and Min immediately began undressing Tae. There was a rumbling chuckle in response before Tae started doing the same to him. Min lost himself in the feel of Tae’s warmth.

  He ran his fingers over every bit of exposed skin he could reach, while furiously trying to give himself access to more. He traced the scars that covered Tae’s chest, arms, and shoulders. He lightly ran a finger along the one at Tae’s neck. All the while with his lips still against Tae’s. He bit Tae’s lower lip, and slipped his tongue inside his mouth when Tae’s lips parted slightly. Their tongues danced and Min let himself drown in the sensation.

  He put up no resistance when Tae guided him to lay on the bed. He could feel Tae’s concern in the way he moved and Min bit him. His aggressiveness seemed to surprise Tae. Min moved his lips to Tae’s ear.

  “You can ask whatever questions you want later.” Min whispered. “Right now I need you to claim me, show me I’m yours. That I belong to no one but you.”

  Min smirked at the possessive, animalistic, growl that he got in response. A part of him almost felt guilty for using Tae’s dragon nature against him like this. Almost. The moment Tae ripped off his pants the doubts vanished. Min’s thoughts vanished with them as he lost himself in the blissfully overwhelming feel of Tae. He surrendered himself to it.

  He’d tell Tae about what was wrong when they got cleaned up later. Right now he was just grateful his love hadn’t questioned him. That he’d gone along with what Min wanted and helped him forget the past for a moment and lose himself in the present. Min knew without a doubt that it was something Tae would understand. That might have been why Tae hadn’t questioned him actually.

  It took them some time before they made it to the tub in the bathing room. Min leaned against Tae. His head resting comfortably on Tae’s chest.

  “Ready to talk yet?” Tae asked.

  Min sighed. He really didn’t want to, but knew he probably needed to.

  “My dream earlier was more memory than anything.” Min told him. “It brought up a lot of memories I’d rather forget.”

  Tae wrapped his arms around him, hugging him. Min felt when Tae kissed him on the head. How good Tae was to him felt so unfair sometimes. Here he was behaving like an adolescent with a chip on his shoulder and his partner was being nothing but understanding without even knowing the details.

  “The deposed empress didn’t always hate me and my mother.” Min said. “In my oldest memories I was certain she loved us both dearly.”

  Tae’s grip had loosened and he was now gently rubbing Min’s arms comfortingly.

  “I’d relived the moment I’d first noticed her change.” Min continued. “The day I’d realized she was no longer someone who was safe to run to.”

  Min’s breath hitched as he said it. He hadn’t realized how much that had still hurt. Tae moved immediately. He went from resting against Tae to in his lap and wrapped in his arms. Min buried his head in Tae’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Tae’s neck.

  “She’d been in love with my mother you know.” Min whispered. “No one talked about it, but I knew. I’d seen the two of them together when they hadn’t realized I was there yet. Both her and my father had been in love with mother. It’d been her idea for father to marry mother. She used to say it was the best thing she’d ever done.”

  Min couldn’t seem to keep the words back.

  “How does someone go from being utterly in love like that to feeling nothing when the person they loved almost dies?” Min’s voice broke. Tears burned as they escaped from behind his closed eyes. “She just watched, face expressionless, as mother lay there fighting to keep from succumbing to the poison that had been meant for me.”

  Min went silent and just held on to Tae. A little over twenty years later and he still didn’t understand. He’d loved Ari, he hadn’t been in love with Ari, but he’d loved her nonetheless. Her death had destroyed him. He was in love with Tae and the two weeks Tae had been unconscious had nearly driven him mad with worry. He just couldn’t understand how anyone could do that. It was a good part of why he hated Hea. Why he’d gone cold and become so ruthless with his enemies. He was fighting a monster who had tried to kill her loved ones. He’d had to be cold in order to survive, and surviving had been the best way to fight back. She had stopped loving them so he’d stopped loving her. Hanseul hadn’t been able to do that, which was the only reason she was still alive, because unlike her, he wasn’t going to hurt and betray those he loved if he could help it.

  patreon.