Clans are seen as equal to nobility in most countries. The more powerful the clan and the higher their rank inside the clan the higher in the nobility ranks they are equal to.

  Tae sat on Min’s bed, holding Min in his lap. All the servants had been sent away as soon as they’d gotten back. Min sighed and Tae slid him off his lap so he could see his lover’s face more clearly.

  “I owe you an explanation.” Min said after another moment of silence.

  “Not entirely.” Tae replied. “We haven’t been together long, so it makes sense that there are things you can’t tell me, wouldn’t have had time to tell me, or for any number of reasons have yet to tell me about.”

  “No.” Min said firmly. “I should have told you about this prior to you meeting them.”

  “I’m sure there’s a very good reason you didn’t.” Tae said, placing Min’s hand on his own cheek before kissing the palm.

  “Politics mostly.” Min sighed. “If anyone found out…”

  Min shuddered and Tae didn’t need his lover to continue that thought. It was also confirmation on what he’d guessed.

  “Only the four of us… three… well I guess it’s back to four again.” Min began. He stumbled a little over his words, which was not normal. He looked up at Tae and Tae was surprised to see fear reflected clearly in those golden eyes.

  “I don’t need to know.” Tae told him quickly. “If it’s this hard, you don’t need to tell me.”

  “You’ve already guessed most of it.” Min smiled sardonically.

  “True.” Tae agreed. “But you don’t have to tell me the details. I don’t need them, and I won’t tell anyone what I’ve guessed.”

  “I know.” Min’s smile warmed a little. “But that’s why I want to tell you.”

  “It doesn’t have to be now.” Tae told him.

  “It does.” Min said. “If I don’t tell you now I’ll just put it off.”

  Tae kissed Min’s hand again, trying to comfort and support him.

  “I never wanted children,” Min began. “Ari understood that, and with my position being what it is, we both knew that any child we had would be in danger.”

  Tae squeezed Min’s hand gently. Min talked about the danger as if he was acutely familiar with it, and Tae was absolutely certain Min was referring to the type of danger he’d grown up facing his whole life here in the palace. Of course Min wouldn’t have wanted to give that same fate to another.

  “I’d be an atrocious father.” Min laughed. There was a bitterness to the normally pleasant sound. “But Hanseul… he’s a wonderful father.”

  There was another pause as Min gathered his thoughts.

  “Hanseul and Jae couldn’t have children.” Min said, the words barely a whisper. “Hanseul refused to take a second wife, he loved only Jae, and he didn’t want to make the same mistakes our father had.”

  Tae laced his fingers with Min’s in an effort to provide support.

  “They confided in myself and Ari about it.” Min’s voice was very quiet. There was a sadness Tae was all too familiar with when Min said his late wife’s name. “Later Ari came to me with a solution. Hanseul and I are half-brothers, Ari and Jae full-blooded sisters. The chances that the child wouldn’t look enough like Hanseul and Jae were slim.”

  Min stopped, biting his lower lip. Tae waited, his thumb brushing the back of Min’s hand.

  “It was our first fight.” Min told him. “I told her I never wanted to be a father, that she’d known that prior to our wedding and agreed with me.”

  Min chuckled and shook his head before continuing.

  “Ari called me a dunce and said I wasn’t going to be a father, not really. Yes, the child would carry my blood, but that’s all.” Min was truly smiling now, there was a tinge of sadness to it, but it was a genuine smile. “She was right, she was always right. We talked to Jae first, then Hanseul. The four of us planned everything. With the war going on people were distracted, and we had an easier time of it.”

  Tae nodded. That made sense. The war had been chaotic, it had been the perfect time for a plan like this one.

  “Ari and Jae went to the summer palace together. Hanseul was on the front lines half the time, and spent the other half dividing his time between the summer palace and court matters.” Min continued. “Ari and Jae were sisters, so no one questioned the fact that they went together. Ari was my wife, so no one questioned my visiting them. It was a bit tough making sure Hanseul and I were there at the same time, but we managed it. When Ari was far enough along, we announced it as Jae’s pregnancy.”

  Tae remembered that announcement. It had been a boost to the morale of the troops knowing that their crown prince was going to have an heir.

  “Seo was born safely. Jae and Ari stayed in the summer palace. Once Ari recovered, all the servants were replaced and a wet nurse brought in.” there was a slight coldness to Min’s voice and Tae knew that none of the servants had lived. Some might think it harsh, but Tae knew Min hadn’t had a choice. His, Ari’s, Jae’s, and the infant’s lives had been at stake.

  “After watching Seo grow in her sister’s loving car, Ari changed.” Min leaned his head against Tae’s shoulder, and Tae released Min’s hand so he could wrap his arm around his lover. “It’s a rather common occurrence. So I knew what was happening. It didn’t take much for her to convince me the second time. Not when she was hurting like that.”

  There was another pause, the silence was heavier this time.

  “I wish I’d held firm.” Min whispered. “Nari was supposed to be ours. But… when Ari didn’t… didn’t survive… I couldn’t… I knew I’d never be able to give her the attention and love she deserved. Not without Ari’s help.”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  Tae pulled Min closer and kissed the top of his head.

  “There hadn’t been an announcement.” Min said. “Ari would have been targeted the moment we’d made one, so we were going to wait until she recovered. When… After… I went to Jae and Hanseul. I begged them to claim Nari as well. To let her be raised with her brother. They agreed.”

  Tae pulled Min back into his lap. Min rested his head on Tae’s chest and Tae cradled his lover. They’d talked about Ari before, Min had told him that she’d been his best friend. Between the pain of that loss, and how dangerous this secret was, Tae completely understood why Min had put off telling him.

  Tae didn’t say anything. Not yet. He just held Min close, offering what comfort he could. He left more than heard when Min started crying. It hurt to watch, but Tae understood just how painful the loss of those closest to you was. Nothing would ever fix it, it wasn’t something that could be solved. Crying wasn’t a solution, but it was a release, and that could and would help.

  Later, after Min fell asleep. Tae stood near one of the many shelves. His fingers brushed lightly over the instruments stored there. They were all very well made. Min’s story had helped him realize he’d been rushing things. They both still had more to learn about each other. He realized there were a lot of things he hadn’t told Min yet either. He was going to need to rethink his present for Min’s birthday. He didn’t think Min was quite ready for that. He also realized he wasn’t fully ready for it either. There was just too much he hadn’t told

  He hoped that he’d one day be able to carry out that plan, but for now he needed to put it on hold. He was healing, but he wasn’t quite healed enough for that yet. He didn’t want to risk having what should be a beautiful moment turn into something filled with pain.

  He still wanted to give Min something that was a part of him though. Tae slid a flute from its shelf and carried it outside. The cool night air and star filled sky greeted him like old friends. He needed the advice of someone long since lost to him. Since he couldn’t ask for it, he’d rely on what they taught him instead. Tae didn’t go far, if Min awoke he’d only need to look out the window to find him. Though Tae hoped Min would continue to sleep.

  Tae brought the instrument to his lips. Melody poured from the instrument. He paced his breath and his fingers almost seemed to dance, exactly the way Hyuk had taught him. Tae begged Hyuk for forgiveness first, tears streaming down his face as he did so. He owed Hyuk everything he was. He would never have learned how to be human, let alone how to love, if it hadn’t been for Hyuk. Once the tears slowed, Tae used the music to ask Hyuk for advice. He was the only one who’d understand just how confused and lost he was. The only one who had never looked at him strange when he didn’t understand commonplace things.

  Memories swirled in his mind as the music filled the air around him. Hyuk had been convinced that music was a thing of magic. Tae had agreed, but only when Hyuk played. Now he felt that magic course through his own music the way it had through Hyuk’s. Tae let the magic and memories flow, praying for both forgiveness and answers.

  Tae leaned against the doorway to the rooms he shared with Hyuk. Music filled the room. Tae watched a smile on his lips as Hyuk played his most prized flute. It was made of a beautiful white jade. It was nearly the same colour as Tae’s hair. If it weren’t for the veins of the palest green that ran through it it might have been an exact match. But the green veins tinted the instrument ever so slightly.

  Tae let the music fill him as well. His shoulders relaxed as they always did when Hyuk played. He hadn’t known music could bring peace until Hyuk had first played for him. He’d been shocked when Hyuk had successfully chased his nightmares away. Only when Hyuk had finished the final note of the song did Tae enter the room. Hyuk turned at the sound and smiled.

  The smile lit up not just Hyuk’s face, but the entire room. Tae returned his lover’s smile. He kissed the top of Hyuk’s head and wrapped his arms around him as Hyuk leaned into him. They stayed quiet for a moment. Hyuk’s fingers tracing the carved patterns in the jade instrument.

  “I love it when you play.” Tae whispered. Hyuk stretched up on the tips of his toes and kissed Tae’s cheek. The feeling of his lover’s lips against his skin made Tae want more contact. He restrained himself as it seemed Hyuk had a lot on his mind.

  “Music is healing.” Hyuk said after a long moment.

  Tae nodded his agreement and kissed the top of Hyuk’s head again. He didn’t want to interrupt his lover’s thoughts, and it was a safe way to express himself.

  “What’s on your mind?” Tae asked after it seemed like Hyuk had wandered a little too far into his own thoughts. Hyuk looked up at him, an odd smile playing on his lips. Tae wasn’t sure what the expression meant, he’d never seen it before. It vaguely reminded him of the smiles filled with sadness he’d seen from his mother. It wasn’t the same, but it was similar. Tae bit his lip not liking this.

  “I have a rather odd request for you.” Hyuk said.

  Tae waited quietly for his lover to continue.

  “With the way things are, I’m more likely than you are to be the one left behind.” Hyuk continued. Tae nodded. He did tend to end up in more dangerous situations than Hyuk did. Plus there was always the risk of being found by his former captors during a moment of vulnerability. “On the off chance that it’s the other way around, that you are the one left behind, I want you to promise me something.”

  Tae’s body froze at the thought. His entire being rejected the idea. If Hyuk died there was no way Tae would be living long. Either because of wounds from trying to protect Hyuk, or by his own hand once the funeral and vigil following Hyuk’s death were over.

  “Promise me that you won’t try to follow me.” Hyuk said. “Promise me that you’ll take care of my instruments for me. At least until you learn to love again.”

  “No.” Tae said. He pulled away from Hyuk, hurt by his lover's words.

  “Tae,” Hyuk said softly. “I’m not leaving you. I’m not going to abandon you.”

  Tae watched his lover’s face, trying to read for anything he might be hiding. Nothing. Hyuk was being sincere.

  “Why?” Tae said. “Why must I keep living if you die?”

  “Do it for me, Tae.” Hyuk answered. “Live on for me. And keep at least this flute to remind yourself that I promised there would be more to life even if I died first.”

  Tae processed what Hyuk was saying. It was very similar to one of the promises he’d made to his mother. He’d lived on after she’d died. He’d fought, planned, and finally escaped that hell because of his promise to her. What Hyuk was asking was not so different. As he thought this, Tae realized that he wouldn’t want Hyuk to die just to follow him in death. He pulled out the dagger at his waist and held it out to Hyuk.

  “Fine.” He said. “But only if you promise me the same. I want you to take this dagger. Keep it. If I die first, use it to remember that you promised not to follow me in death.”

  Hyuk took the dagger, the one Tae had forged himself, handing Tae the flute in exchange. Tae took it carefully.

  “I promise.” Hyuk said. “If you die first I’ll live for the both of us.”

  “And if you die first it’ll be my job to live for us both.” Tae replied.

  “And you promise to keep at least the flute until you learn to love again?” Hyuk asked.

  Tae didn’t think he’d love again. He hadn’t thought he could love, not with the life he’d lived. He doubted anyone other than Hyuk could love the broken beast he was. He didn’t think anyone other than Hyuk would have been able to see beyond the blood covered hands of the monster to see the scared and scarred soul inside.

  “I promise.” Tae told him. He kissed the flute, his blue eyes locked on Hyuk’s brown ones.

  The memory faded and Tae had his answer. Tae finished the song before making his way back to the bedroom. He smiled at the stars before closing the door gently behind him. Hyuk’s message was clear, though Tae still wasn’t convinced he deserved forgiveness. He had a promise to keep. He took care with his steps so as to keep them silent. Min’s breathing indicated he was still fast asleep. Tae gently placed the flute back on the shelf. It was a beautiful instrument, but Tae knew of a far finer one. One he was not skilled enough to give its proper due. Min however, was just as skilled a musician as Hyuk had been.