"...cub cannot hunt when his heart is full of fear, Kaelen."

  "This den you speak of... What is it?"

  Feeling came slowly. First, warmth on my body and coolness on my cheeks. Then a throbbing pain in my arm. Then, came the familiar smell of sun warmed grass and sweat under my nose.

  I slowly opened my eyes to look around, felt something soft and thick under me. And another weight pressing against me.

  The fragrance of herbs tickled my nose. Gnarled walls of bark with rays of golden light coming in from the cracks. Shelves full of jars with plants.

  Juno's hut.

  I was nestled on a thick mat with a thick blanket over me.

  "Without a place to belong, a cub cannot grow." Came Juno's voice.

  "He does have a home to stay, Shaman."

  "I do not speak of the material, Kaelen."

  Kaelen and Juno were standing at the doorway, just outside the bead curtains.

  Nestled against me was Natalie. She's peacefully asleep, her cheeks reddish and mouth a little open. The pale horror from last night had gone. Her fluffy tail rested on my leg.

  Behind her was Sylvester and Moy, curled up together sleeping. Their tails as still as a rope.

  The bead curtain rustled, clickety-clack. Followed by the soft padding and dull thump of Kaelen's boots.

  "Come, Kaelen,"

  I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I wanted to know what's happening. I opened my eyes a tiny little bit, just enough to peek.

  Kaelen sat beside the cauldron. Juno took out two small jars of golden powder and set it on the table.

  "These are the Alistaff root that His Highness and Natalie ground. Are you familiar with this root?"

  He shook his head.

  "This root grants enduring strength to the drinker in a potion, but it must first be ground into powder."

  She poured out the powder onto a brown clay bowl.

  "If you put this straight into the cauldron without grinding, it doesn't release its power and makes the draught bitter. It must be ground, and the skin of the root discarded."

  She padded to another shelf and returned with another blue ingredient. She held them to Kaelen,

  "These are Bunga Telang, or Butterfly Peas. Brilliant colors, yes?"

  Kaelen hummed, leaned forward. His fingers brushed his chin in thought.

  "It's the source of color for our blue rice. But it's not just for decoration, it contains power to still the soul."

  Juno continued to show Kaelen the ingredients, explaining in riddles that I couldn't understand. Kaelen seem to understand.

  I closed my eyes and tried to remember how I ended up here.

  It was after the wolf attack. Kaelen carried me in his arms, Natalie in Morgan's, Moy clung to Sylvester while he clung to his father as we made for Juno's. I got sleepy... And rested my head against Kaelen's shoulders.

  That was all I remember.

  Now, my hand was already wrapped up, a tangy, sharp smell with a hint of bitterness stung my nose. Good thing I slept through it. Non-magical healing hurts more. Mama, or the palace healers simply hover their glowing hands and cuts just close themselves.

  A soft howl. I peeked again to see what's going on. Juno started the fire for the cauldron with a fire magic. But her's was more like a breath from her hand compared to Kaelen's straight bolt.

  Then... For a second there, I thought I saw Daddy standing between Kaelen and Juno. He was a faint, ghostly figure.

  Kaelen was staring at the cauldron with his back to me. Daddy had his arm over his shoulders, but I don't think Kaelen felt anything.

  Daddy turned back.

  Our eyes met.

  And he winked.

  I closed my eyes back.

  Mommy and Daddy's were real! I had to hold my happiness in, or else I might shout and they'll know I'm listening!

  Then I heard the sound of things falling into water one by one. I guess this is how Felids do things... one by one. Natalie told me that's how her mother cooks too. If it were Kaelen, he'd chuck everything in. The warmth from the fire calmed me down.

  A groan from Sylvester and Moy told me they were up. I could safely open my eyes now. The tufts at their ear tips bounced as their ears twitched to the spitting sound of the fire. Their father offered them each a cup of warm drink. And Moy quickly latched onto her dad.

  Natalie stirred too, pushing herself up. I followed, and winced when a sharp pain zapped me.

  "Morning, Nat."

  I patted her back with my good arm.

  She rubbed her eyes, and then nuzzled my collar. I caught Sylvester's lips twisting.

  "N—Herald... I'm so glad you're alright."

  ...?

  "I glad you are too, Natalie. You must've been so scared."

  Her gaze lowered, her face somewhere between shame and relief. "When that wolf dragged you away, I thought we'd lose you."

  "But good thing you blew that Wolf away!" In an instant she lightened, "Like BOOM!" Her arms shot out wide.

  "How'd you do that, Herald?" She leaned forward, her face inches from mine.

  "I—uh... I don't really know. It just happened."

  "Good morning, children." Juno said, her hand never stopped stirring the cauldron, "how are you feeling?"

  Sylvester groaned, glancing at his sister, "We're fine." His glance came and went again.

  "My arm... It really hurts." I said, trying not to move it. And the thick bandage made it heavy.

  Juno smiled, "That Wolf could've bitten off your arm if it weren't for your magic, dear child."

  The two children looked at me.

  "You're carrying some powerful magic. Your wounds heal extraordinarily."

  My eyes met Kaelen's, his cold, unfeeling gaze was replaced by something more... Soft. Regret.

  My heart knotted. I had yelled at him, and thrown my bokken at him. And he still came to save me from the Wolf.

  I looked away, feeling... Ugh, I wanted to cover my face.

  "Now, Kaelen," Juno's hand glowed a gentle orange and the fire became softer, "We must control the fire. Otherwise, the draught will overcook, and the power destroyed."

  "People are no different. You push too hard, they break. You don't push, they stagnate."

  Juno's smile was warm, her eyes glancing briefly to me from Kaelen.

  "But here is where alchemy and people differ. The key in not in balance... Nor timing. No this first or that much."

  Juno's palm rested against Kaelen's chest.

  "It is here."

  He went rock still.

  Her hand lifted. He turned his gaze down to the table, rubbing his chin. A low hum rumbled from him. For a moment he sounded like Morgan.

  From outside, I heard Ollette's anxious shouting, asking if Natalie is alright. Then she burst through the bead curtains and wrapped her arms us.

  "Natalie! Nathan—Herald! Oh, I'm so glad you're safe!" Ollette swept us both into a hug.

  Nathan?

  "Mommy!"

  Behind her, Moy's mother followed and took her children in a tight embrace. Then, the two of them followed their mothers outside for breakfast.

  "How is your arm, Herald?"

  "It hurts, Auntie Ollette..." I tried to move my bad arm again, hoping for a miracle that the pain would disappear.

  Ow! "But I'm okay."

  Juno came over and assured her that my arm wouldn't need to be cut off. I don't know if she's just making a bad joke. But Ollette was relieved.

  "From the way he's healing, his arm will be fine in two more days."

  "That's quick, Juno."

  "Yes, he's special."

  Ollette turned to me, eyes welling up. It's that strange look in her eyes again. Sad, but glad, like she's seeing someone else. It's the same look in Natalie when I asked her why she was willing to risk her friendship with Sylvester and Moy for me.

  I turned to Natalie, who looked at me with the same gaze.

  "Herald, I know you quarreled with Kaelen, but you shouldn't run into the jungle like that! You had the entire village worried!" Ollette said sternly, looking straight at me. "The Elder called the village to search for you! Do you realize what you've done?!"

  I looked away. Why does it feel like it's my own Mum who's telling me off? "Sorry, Auntie..."

  "And Natalie, same goes for you too. You could've gotten hurt!"

  Her ears went complete flat. Her tail swished once. "Sorry, Mommy..."

  Ollette let out a deep breath, angry, yet smiling, then she drew us back into her embrace.

  Nestled in the warmth of her arms, I closed my eyes. It felt like Mama hugging me. The feeling felt so... Comforting. The thought of the entire village coming out to look for us... It made me choke and my vision blur.

  Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

  Love.

  But somewhere in the dark of my mind, another puzzle began to come together.

  Nathan.

  ...

  We gathered at Juno's garden outside. A pot of dark brown stew was simmering over a fire. Beside it, the Elder's Wife and Ollette were cooking on a separate stove, helped by some other Felids from the village. Some of them were kneading dough, chopping chillis and onions, soaking fish in red paste, and preparing a pot of hot oil.

  Natalie was helping Ollette, darting back and forth carrying ingredients and utensils. Sylvester and Moy sat with the other Felid children. His arms were open wide, Moy was baring her canines and glaring to look menancing, probably trying to recreate the wolf's terrifying face.

  I sat alone on a log, watching the people go about their work. My bad arm hung uselessly beside me, but I was glad I did what I did. Natalie was safe. I know I still have my powers, just not in the way I wanted them. I believe things are going to be different for me and Kaelen now.

  And most of all... I saw Mama and Papa again.

  They're happy.

  Kaelen was at the edge of the garden, by the fence, looking out into the jungle with Morgan. This is the first time I'd seen them together, and they seem to be talking about something. Morgan's eyes darted briefly to me, then Kaelen nodded.

  Everyone was busy. But for me, everything was still.

  The name kept coming in my mind.

  Nathan.

  Morgan's strange, pained gaze whenever he sees me.

  Sylvester saying I'm not him.

  Then, Natalie's tears when I asked her why she was willing to risk her friendship with them for me.

  Now, Ollette accidentally calling me Nathan.

  The puzzle fell into place.

  I look like Natalie's brother.

  Ollette and Morgan's son.

  Is this Nathan still alive?

  Did they care for me because I look like him?

  Yet, they did fill a hole inside my heart.

  I had lost Mommy and Daddy... And my kingdom.

  I pressed my good hand to my heart, easing the strange feeling inside. I don't know what it is... It was painful. But it was nice too. It made me want to open my arms... And hold something... Someone.

  Natalie.

  Ollette.

  A shadow covered the sunlight that had been on the ground where I'd been staring. It's Kaelen, katana by his side. But the dappled sunlight softened his form, his shoulders were down, and the stern, unfeeling gaze of his silvery grey eyes gone.

  I looked back at the ground. My yelling rang in my head. His face then the bokken hit him flashed. I bit my lips, pushing the memory down.

  He said nothing.

  Just sat down beside me at a comfortable distance. We watched the Felids prepare breakfast. Natalie had just dropped something and Ollette sighed, hands on hips. Moy had joined them to help, adding to the chaos. I didn't see Sylvester anywhere.

  "How's your seal, Herald?" Kaelen began.

  My seal? Right. It cracked for a while when the Wolf got me. I remembered that surge of power that blew the beast away. But only for a while.

  The seal was back now. I can't feel that power anymore.

  "I can't use my powers." I said quietly, but it sounded like I'm cursing myself. I want my powers. I don't want to be like this.

  Kaelen turned his eyes forward and let out a low hum. A brief silence.

  "Herald," Kaelen said again, his voice low.

  My body twitched uncomfortably at that tone.

  "There is something I want to tell you..."

  I kept my eyes on the ground, unsure what to do.

  An awkward moment passed quiet, the sound of the villagers fading into the background.

  "Look at me... Herald."

  His voice wasn't hard. Nothing like how he sounded during training. Slowly, I turned.

  And looked into his silvery grey eyes.

  "I..."

  Kaelen looked away. My body inched an inch back. This is the first time he did that. But his eyes returned to meet mine.

  Then...

  "I'm sorry."

  *I'm sorry.*

  The word repeated itself in my head.

  I'm sorry?

  Kaelen said sorry?

  I blinked.

  "I had been teaching you how to be strong," his voice lowered so others couldn't hear us, "But I've been teaching you wrong. I was sharpening a sword that was already broken."

  My throat felt tight. I didn't know what to say.

  Kaelen turned back to me, and I saw something I'd never thought I'd see—shame in his eyes.

  "When I saw that wolf on you, jaws around your arm..." He stopped. And looked away and sighed.

  "I thought I had failed our King and Queen."

  It was difficult for him to hold my gaze. The tightness of his lips and the frown between his brows said it all. It was just as hard for me too.

  But he looked back to me, "In that moment, I understood what your mother meant when she told me to take care of you. She didn't mean make you strong. She meant keep your heart alive."

  A long silence stretched between us. Somewhere nearby, Natalie laughed at something Moy said.

  "I'm sorry, Herald." The words were quiet but firm. "I failed you. Not as a teacher, you're learning the forms well. But as your guardian. As the man your parents trusted with their son."

  He looked at me directly now, and I saw the weight he'd been carrying.

  "You needed a father, Herald. Not a guardian."

  Something opened inside me. It felt like something shut up finally being set free. Really free. My vision began to shimmer from the morning sun. My eyes felt really wet. Soon, tears began to fall.

  I looked down, I can't let him see my face like this... I'd rather tear them than let him see...

  "I—I'm sorry too... For saying that I'd rather—" The words came out choked, when it did came out it sounded all wrong, whiny and girly, "for throwing t-the bok—hic, bokken at you..."

  "I—!" I don't know how. I could only shake my head.

  "You shouldn't have. But I drove you to it."

  I felt his hand on my good shoulder,

  "It is alright. You apologized, and I forgive you."

  He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. I leaned forward a little, not quite near, but something about it felt right.

  And he gave me a gentle squeeze.

  "Herald... When you threw yourself at the wolf to save Natalie," his voice changed, something more... Proud. "Mica'El would've been proud. And Esther would've wept with joy."

  "You are a strong and brave boy, Herald,"

  "And I would be honored if you'd let me be your uncle."

  My breath stuck.

  My uncle... To be my uncle...

  Without thinking, I just leaned into him and hugged him with my good arm.

  And cried.

  He tensed. Then, his arms came to rest on my shoulders.

  "From now on, we'll do things differently. We'll still train... But this time, we'll live. I won't get it right the first time, but I'll try, if you will let me."

  I nodded, my face rubbing against his vest, "Yes... Yes, Uncle."

  ...

  The warmth of the clay plate on my lap was comforting. Soft steam curled from the dark brown stew inside. I held it with my good arm. Natalie sat beside me, happily tearing shreds of the flaky flatbread and dunking them into the stew.

  Eating with one hand was hard. If I tear the bread, the plate wobbles. If I hold the plate, I can't get the bread.

  And Natalie seemed to have forgotten about my problem. She was busy wolfing down her rice drenched in sauce with meat.

  Kaelen and Morgan sat beside each other, eating quietly. Grown-ups are always like that, they talk without talking. The big Felid doesn't seem to dislike me so much now, but I still don't understand why he would for me looking like his son.

  Something floated in front of my face.

  "Say ahh~"

  I backed away, unsure where to look, but there's nowhere to back to, because I was sitting against the log.

  Ollette was holding a piece of Roti Canai dipped in Rendang stew to my mouth, her other hand under my chin to prevent the sauce from dripping.

  "Uh..."

  Mama stopped doing this when I could eat myself. Now, here I am... an eight year old being four again.

  "C'mon, Herald, you deserved it." Natalie bumped her shoulder against mine. I glanced at the others. Kaelen pretended not to notice. Morgan rolled his eyes as he chewed.

  Reluctantly, I opened my mouth and Ollette fed me.

  Then, Natalie's cheeks puffed up. Quickly, she snatched a golden puff from the plate and held it to my mouth.

  "Say ah!" Where Ollette's tone was soft and melodic, her's was stiff and competitive.

  "N-Natalie, my mouth is still full!"

  "Owwh—! Mum! You beat me to it!" Her ears flatted in mock irritation.

  "You were too busy with your food, dear. Poor Herald was fumbling." Ollette chuckled.

  Well, she was kind of right. I couldn't tear the bread with one hand. So I just ate stew with a spoon and fried puffs with my good hand. But bread dipped in thick gravy was one of my favorite foods from the palace.

  Thank Auntie Ollette for that.

  We sat around in a small circle beside the log. Sylvester and Moy sat with their parents and Juno near the fire. The other Felids from the village were scattered around the garden. Everyone was eating, talking and laughing. And some kids took their food to the trees.

  Occasionally heads turned to look at us, but their gazes had softened. Sylvester and Moy probably spread the news how I got my arm torn. They didn't look at me with that suspicious, apprehensive look anymore. And I understood why they had.

  I had the face of someone they knew.

  And was probably dead.

  The moment I had swallowed what I had in my mouth, Natalie put the puff to my mouth again, pouting.

  "Nat, I already have one in hand."

  She didn't care. "Your's is curry and potatoes. This one is fish. It's nicer!"

  "If you say so..."

  I took a bite and the savoriness of the sardine, the sweet-sour-spicy sauce inside with the onions and chillis filled my mouth up to my nose. I breathed in, as Natalie always said, when there's good food, take a deep breath. And smell your fingers after the meal.

  I watched her eat the other half, and let my mind wander back to Nathan.

  Because for one year living in here, I had never seen him.

  If he was still alive, people would be more curious about me than suspicious.

  And I would've met him already.

  The chatter suddenly slowed and the garden fell into a hush. The Elder stood solemnly on a large tree stump, wearing the Elder's headdress and vest, and holding his staff. They looked pretty regal, but not in a Luminan way. Complex, golden tribal patterns woven into thick black cloth. Luminan regality was more simple, less patterns and with Wingly Ancient Script magically etched into the hems.

  Juno stood beside him. Being old, she used her gnarled wooden staff to stand up straighter.

  "Brethren."

  The Elder's deep, growly voice travelled through the air. Ears perked up and turned to him, and tails lashed once before stilling. Even the children in the trees stopped eating.

  He glanced around. His chest rose as he drew in his breath. His staff twitched as his grip steadied.

  "The Wolf is dead."

  The whole garden erupted into cheers. Hands shot into the sky, gourd cups and open coconuts thunked together, tails swished like metronomes. The children began jumping and swinging from the vines, screaming happily. The Elder remained still, watching the people celebrate. He exchanged a brief glance with Juno, who then stepped forward and raised her open hand.

  The Felids quieted down again, ears flicking.

  "It had come and go as it pleased. It has taken our beloved children away from us. Our children had lost friends."

  Natalie gripped the bust of her dark green dress. Moy looked down, her face darkened.

  "We have hunted it. It had eluded us countless times. It had wounded our bravest warriors."

  Morgan's lips tightened, flexing his scarred arm. Another bulky hunter scratched his chest.

  "Last night, it came again for our children."

  The Elder's head turned slightly towards Sylvester and Moy, then his eyes swept the crowd and fell on us. On Natalie and I.

  "It nearly took one,"

  Juno shifted her staff, her eyes falling on me with faint admiration.

  "But the Round-Eared Boy stood between our cubs and death. He fought with nothing but his body to save our children."

  Heads began to turn. Some of the women saw my arm and blinked. A little Felid child pointed and asked his father something. I felt like hiding behind the log. But Natalie leaned in, and I felt braver.

  "By the valor of our two strangers, the Wolf fell." The Elder's voice rose, louder now, "No longer will it haunt our nights! No longer will it take our children!"

  "Brethren! Honor to Herald and Kaelen, whose courage fell the Wolf!"

  The Elder raised both arms into the air and roared. And all the Felid men roared with him, raising their arms, some holding their weapons, some food. It was a glorious. Full of pride and gratitude. The women clapped and the children whopped. Some threw flakes of bread into the air.

  My eyes met Sylvester's over the crowd. He crossed his arms, his mouth twisted. Not hostile... But something else.

  Then Moy smiled at me, her tail flicking once.

  And a drop of brown stew fell onto my nose from the sky.

  After the celebration had slowed, the Elder brought Sylvester and Moy to Natalie and I. My stomach tightened. Something's coming. The two were staring at the ground, faces red. Moy was clutching her white dress and Sylvester's hands were shoved into his pockets.

  We were alone now. Ollette and Morgan were cleaning up with the others, and Kaelen had gone into Juno's hut.

  "Is something the matter, Elder?" Natalie asked innocently.

  "My children would like to say something to Herald." The Elder replied calmly with a smile.

  I looked between him and them.

  The Elder gave a gentle pat on Sylvester's back.

  "He-Herald..."

  The words came out stuttering. He looked at me briefly before turning down to the ground.

  "I—We're..." A grimace twisted his face, "Sorry that we threw the fruits at you."

  My mind went blank. I could only swallow, feeling just as awkward as he felt.

  I mean, Mama and Papa had always said to be nice to others, especially those who are not royals, because I'm going to be a king. And I had been obedient to that.

  Sylvester had been... the opposite of that, I suppose.

  "We're s-sorry, Herald..." Moy followed, stammering, "we didn't mean... I mean..."

  Natalie's grip tightened around my arm.

  In a flash, a screaming came inside me. Pay them back!

  Pay them back?

  What?

  I looked at the Elder. Then to Natalie beside me, whose eyes are beginning to water.

  How? Yell? In front of Natalie and everyone?

  Daddy's voice came.

  "We, the Lucents Winglies, remember our sin. We repented, and by His Grace we are forgiven."

  I had no idea what Daddy meant, even now I still don't understand. All I know is this: if someone says sorry, forgive them.

  I glanced away, taking a deep breath,

  "It's alright, Sylvester, Moy." I said, "You were hurt that Natalie spent more time with me—" I cut my words there.

  Just made an awkward smile and extended my hand for a handshake.

  Sylvester seemed confused, because he tilted his head, frowning.

  And that made me confused.

  Uh...? Did I do something wrong?

  Juno and Kaelen came up quietly behind them, staff in hand, her many pocketed robes rustling. "Ah... Little cub. That is the way of the outside world."

  Natalie beamed when she heard those words. She bounced once, tail lashing, but she didn't say anything.

  "Here, we touch our foreheads together." Juno said, putting her fingers gently to her forehead and bowing slightly.

  Oh...!

  Sylvester and Moy blinked. Then, he stepped forward.

  Uh... do we have to do this...?

  Natalie gave me a gentle push.

  We stood before each other. He was definitely a head taller than me. He was three years older, after all.

  "Sylvester will hold out his palms. When you put your palm on his, touch your foreheads together." Juno instructed.

  We did so. His hands felt very warm and rough, and a little sweaty. He was a head taller than me, so he leaned down. I tip toed up to reach him.

  And we touched. His silvery-grey bangs brushed against the earth brown of mine. The warmth of his breath brushed my mouth. My earth-brown eyes met his amber-green eyes.

  All I saw was him. The way his pupils went from slits into big blotch of ink.

  Relief flooded me.

  *For real...*

  After Sylvester, it was Moy's turn. Her scent was sweeter, nectary.

  Ollette blew her nose. I just realized they came. Morgan put his arm around her as the grown-ups watched.

  And so,

  The hostility ended.

  Something new can begin.

  Something better.

  After Moy pulled away, Sylvester held a fist to me, tail bristling upwards.

  "Don't you misunderstand, Herald! We're not friends yet! I still have a score to settle with you over Natalie!"

  PHIAK!

  "Ow!"

  A smack to the back of his head from his dad and Moy.

  The Elder warned him with a low growl.

  And Sylvester shrunk, his ears flattening and tail went limp. But what's funny was that he's blushing.

  "Don't mind him, he's just jealous," said Moy as she pushed her brother aside, while waving with her other hand.

  "Uh... Okay?"