It's cold.
Books are arranged neatly on the shelf. Several sheets of paper are stacked on the desk, a pen resting on top. The curtains are shut, filling the room with a dusty smell.
One that I can't recall.
A finger taps on my thigh repetitively.
My finger.
Faded paintings seem to stare at me. Dry wood seems to pulse.
My stomach flutters as I step forward, my gaze falling on her for a short while before scattering around.
My teeth chatter.
It's really cold.
[Is there something you need?]
Small wrinkles form around her lips, eyes narrowing.
Just a smile.
[I... Wanted to dis...]
[Discuss... Something. With you.]
She tilts her head, several strands of gray hair swir-
Focus.
I know. I know she knows.
I feel my face. As if each muscle wasn't mine.
[It's supposed to be... Today. The—]
[Have you considered what I said?]
[... I did.]
[Please, Kanna. This decision will mark you for life. We can al—]
[I can't.]
My voice rises slightly, startling her.
Idiot.
Will she be angry? Disappointed? Sad? What will happen? What can I do?
The old woman stands up, wheels rolling on the floor as the chair travels towards the wall.
Jenneah: [Kanna... Think of yourself, what will happen if you... This isn't what you wanted.]
My breath catches in my throat.
The tiles feel fragile. The room, too spacious.
[You... Y-you don't know what I want.]
[What?]
I shut my eyes.
[Why are you doing this, Kanna? You don't need to waste your entire life away because of them—]
[It isn't, because of them. Well, yes, but... I-I don't know. Ayumu's too naive. Hinozu's... I don't know. He doesn't talk about it.]
My eyes widen in shock. This doesn't feel like my voice.
It's desperate.
Kanna: [But... I'm also doing this for me, to...]
Suddenly, the office seems to contract. Like I might be crushed by the walls.
[To...]
?
What's this?
I reach for my neck, grazing my throat.
The words don't come out.
[To?]
[I... Well... To...]
Speak.
Please.
My throat constricts as my jaw shudders.
Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please!
Tell her something. Anything.
Lie.
Like you've always done.
Jenneah: [I'm sorry, Kanna. If you can't tell me... I'm afraid we can't make a dec—]
[Because I-I want to!]
I sputter.
The old woman approaches me. I step back.
Why?
[Kanna, please. I'm begging you. I can't let you. Not for this.]
[If there's one wish I have, it is for you to live peacefully. Pursue your dream, Kanna, you can still be a—]
[But I never wanted that either!]
[I did it... I did it because I wanted to seem smart!]
[I know I'm not smart! I know I'm not hard-working!]
I step forward, tears threatening to fall as I blink repeatedly.
[I... I lied. W-when I said I was working towards it. I lied when I said I wanted t-to be...]
[Don't hate me... Please...]
I close my eyes, burning tears flowing down my cheek. Then, I feel a warm embrace.
Jenneah: [I could never hate you.]
Her tears fall on my shoulder.
[I just... Don't want you to make the same mistakes I did.]
[Think it over, Kanna. What do you really want? Why are you doing this?]
[I... Don't know.]
[But... I feel like... It feels like the only thing I want to do.]
[I... Guess.]
A pause. Breathing.
Jenneah steps back.
Jenneah: [We'll go.]
Kanna: [But I thought...]
Jenneah: [I... Won't stop you. I can't. Once we get there, I hope you can decide for sure. For yourself.]
The words roll out from her lips as she stares at the wall.
[Yeah. Okay, yeah. Let's... Go.]
I drag my feet to the entrance, exiting the Center. The cold air stings my skin. The gray clouds seem to blur my vision.
Jenneah starts the car. I grab the handle, opening the door.
Sitting at the back.
The fabric of the seatbelt grazes my fingers.
A click.
The hum of the engine. The sound of wheels on asphalt.
Lights flicker through the window. White. Orange. Green. Red.
The seatbelt presses across my chest. The seat sinks as I shift.
My eyes focus on the dashboard.
30.
[...Are you alright? Do you want me to turn on the heater?]
[No... need. Why do you.... Why do you ask?]
Repeated taps on the steering wheel.
[Well... Your hands... They're trembling.]
They were.
They are.
[Oh... It's nothing.]
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I clench my fists.
It'll be alright. You've already decided.
You're going to do this.
The sky darkens, raindrops tapping on the windshield.
It's so dark.
It may as well be night already.
Droplets race down the glass.
Am I doing the right thing?
I could've chosen...
My throat hurts as a tight knot forms.
I bite my tongue. It stings.
But at least...
The car comes to a stop. Jenneah doesn't look at me. Just the wheel. I remove my seatbelt, reaching for the handle.
[It's not too late, Kanna.]
[I know.]
Do I?
[Take your time.]
[I have.]
Have I?
I can still turn back.
My hand drifts closer, inch by inch.
I don't want to.
I don't want to pretend anymore.
I feel my heart beating against my chest as I grab the door handle, pulling it.
My clothes soak as rain falls.
Had it been raining this much?
The building looms above, made of a dark, sleek material that reflects the countless droplets. It manages to stand taller than the gigantic skyscrapers nearby.
If it had been alive, I would've thought it'd eat me alive.
A red light blinks at the very top. The white entrance, illuminated by stairs. Like a path to stars.
The sudden sound of rain startles me.
When did it mute?
I rush to the entrance, pressing the first button I see.
A few seconds pass.
The door opens.
I step inside.
Jenneah does so, too.
When did she exit the car?
White tiles reflect the blinding ceiling lights. White walls are decorated with plants. White chairs on the right side. A wooden reception in front.
I walk over to the receptionist, steps echoing loudly. Her polite smile fades into a confused one. She brushes a hand through her uniform.
Receptionist: [Good morning. Are you lost, by chance?]
[She's with me.]
The receptionist glances at Jenneah, a flicker of surprise and recognition passing through her face. She stands up from her chair, saluting.
[Mrs. Alabaster! Welcome back, it's been a long time since you came here. What may I help you with?]
The old woman's expression turns somber.
[We... need an Honorary.]
The receptionist's eyes widen.
[Is it... Her...?]
Jenneah nods.
A pause.
Seconds pass.
Slow as minutes.
[...7th Floor. You'll need to wait.]
A step.
The elevator doors close.
My head spins.
Ding.
The elevator doors open.
A step.
The faint sound of music reaches my ears. The smell of cologne. Too clean for the rain. My shoes brush against the red carpet. Heavy curtains line the walls, except one, revealing a glass from floor to ceiling.
Settees. Armchairs. Coffee tables.
They're all scattered throughout the room with framed paintings and elegant, twisting lamps.
I walk towards a settee, sitting down. Jenneah sits next to me.
In silence.
For more than half an hour.
[What's...]
A whisper. I raise my voice.
[What's an... Honorary?]
Blink.
[They're above 1st Rank. They'll guide you through... The process.]
[What process?]
[It's—]
[Simple enough. Good morning, I hope this day finds you well.]
An unfamiliar figure approaches. A man.
He wears an impeccable suit, his black hair slicked back perfectly, hands tucked inside his pockets.
He offers a hand. I stand up, taking it.
If it wasn't for his warm smile, he would've appeared intimidating.
[May I ask for your name?]
[Kanna.]
[It's a pleasure, Kanna.]
[Same.]
Jenneah remains seated.
[I suppose you're still holding a grudge against the IEM. I won't blame you, Mrs. Alabaster.]
The man sits down on a nearby armchair.
[It's been a while. A long while.]
[I don't—]
[How are you holding up?]
Jenneah: [Don't interrupt me while I speak, Herrig.]
The man laughs. Then, his face turns serious, smile dropping as he stares at her.
Mr. Herrig: [Then? Why have you brought your presence here?]
[... A Pact.]
[Let's analyze the situation, Mrs. Alabaster.]
He leans forward.
Herrig: [You decide to come here, after all these years...]
[And the first thing you ask for is a Pact?]
[For... Her?]
Jenneah's face turns hostile.
[Congrats on being an Honorary, Herrig.]
[You're still below me.]
The man leans back.
[What for? I can't just hand out Pacts to children throwing a tantrum, now can I?]
[This is a more serious matter.]
Herrig chuckles.
[Right. Is this kid chosen? Someone from the Eight Families? Does she have the dream of saving the world, or something?]
I shift uncomfortably, diverting my gaze from them.
[I'm sorry. I can't accept such a... Foolish request.]
Maybe... It's better this way.
[We need to talk. I can probably convince you.]
[Really? Very well then. Will she...]
[No.]
The old woman's gaze falls on me. Her expression softens.
[Could you wait here? It won't take long.]
I nod. Soon after, they both stand up, Jenneah following Herrig towards the elevator.
They wear serious expressions.
The doors close.
The rain outside has intensified, the darkness deeper than night as black clouds cover the sky.
The music continues to play. It is always Jazz.
It never ends.
I glance around the room, spotting a grandfather clock made with deep crimson wood. I hadn't noticed it before.
I read the clock.
7:23.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
7:24.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Ding.
7:47.
It had happened too fast.
It had happened too slowly.
It's better this way.
It's worse this way.
[We're ready to go.]
Herrig.
He offers a smile, running a hand through his hair. Jenneah stands behind, her expression still harsh.
He seems bewildered.
[Okay.]
A step. Another.
I walk across the room, stepping inside the elevator as Jenneah presses the button to the first floor.
Ding.
The receptionist waves us goodbye.
She seems bewildered.
The deafening sound of rain fills my ears as I step outside. The man opens up an umbrella, offering it to me.
I take it.
Kanna: [Thanks.]
I follow him towards his car. A black luxury sedan that seems to shine under the lampposts. Expensive.
Herrig opens the door for me. I sit inside after closing the umbrella.
Jenneah sits next to me.
My fingers brush the leather seat as I reach for the seatbelt.
Click.
He starts the car, though not a sound comes from the engine.
Herrig: [Quite the day, isn't it?]
Jenneah: [Stop wasting time.]
The man chuckles, driving off.
To somewhere.
I clutch my hands tightly.
Do I seem bewildered?
Asphalt turns into stone. Stone to dirt. Where lights once flickered and lines blurred, trees stood and leaves brushed.
We're in the forest.
Deep into it.
I search for Jenneah's gaze.
She pays no mind.
[We've almost arrived, but I need to stop here. We'll need to walk just a bit.]
He exits the car. I grab the umbrella, stepping outside before quickly opening it.
Kanna: [I can't see anything.]
Herrig: [Ah, right. Let me just...]
Raindrops seem to slow down around us before they suspend in the air.
Adopting countless forms, they soon boil before condensing into beads of soft light.
It took around... No...
It was instantly.
[What's this? How did you...]
He smirks.
Herrig: [Impressive, isn't it?]
A smile spreads on my lips. As if I were a child in awe after a spectacle.
Jenneah: [We don't have time to waste.]
[Let's just go.]
Herrig nods, walking ahead. The beads don't follow him, he transforms droplets into new ones.
Leaves rustle loudly as the wind grows stronger.
And then, I see it.
A clearing. Hidden.
And in the middle, a structure, no bigger than a small house. It was dark, all throughout.
I had read a few books on structures from different cultures, and this one doesn't remind me of any— No. Rather, it's a mix of cultures that it resembles.
Three connected blocks, each with its own roof. The middle one noticeably larger.
Similar to a temple.
Herrig walks towards it.
I hesitate.
It's strange. As if it doesn't belong in this world.
Herrig turns around.
[Nothing's to worry about. Come on.]
I nod, walking towards him.
Step by step.
I approach the structure. Built with dark gray stone blocks, thicker at the raised base. Several narrow slits mark it.
Herrig stands next to the entrance. Wooden pillars, a deep violet in color, with carved symbols that seemed to shift. The large doors are made of the same materials, metallic patterns slithered throughout.
It's tightly shut.
I drag myself up the raised base, fingers grazing the stone.
[Would be easier with stairs, wouldn't it?]
[Yeah.]
A delayed response.
[Won't you enter?]
Herrig shakes his head.
[I'm only here to stand outside. Watch out for anyone.]
Panic claws inside my body.
[W-what do I need to do?]
The man fixes his hair. I look around, eyes searching for something.
Something familiar they can latch onto.
It's not here.
She's not here.
When did she leave?
My breath becomes strained. The ground seems to push downwards.
[Don't be afraid, young lady. Nothing wrong can happen. You'll know what to do once you're inside.]
I stand up.
I believe it.
Why do I believe it?
Turning around, I push the door open.
And step inside.
Everything mutes.
The sound of rain.
The rustling of leaves.
The howling of wind.
My breathing.
I hear my heart thumping inside.
It's dark.
Small.
The walls are made of the same stone. The ground is rough stone.
I walk near a wall, the balls of my feet hurting against the floor. My fingers brush through the stone, dust clinging to them.
The smell makes my stomach turn. It gnaws at my nostrils.
Several symbols and inscriptions coat the wall. The only ones I recognize are moths.
A slab of stone rests in the center. Something pulls me from inside.
I belong there.
At least... For now.
At least... Sometime next.
I approach it, kneeling down. It's engraved with a symbol.
A moth, though different.
One that chases the Sun.
One whose wings crumble under it.
Hands move to graze the engraving.
My own hands.
A bead of sweat rolls down on...
My own forehead.
I...
Try to stand up.
Infinite flickers of something pass behind the eyes.
Stone.
Dark.
Arms.
Arms?
Creatures.
Faces.
No, no faces.
Unlike anything seen.
Chains.
Ropes.
Locks.
Keys.
Kanna.
Who?
Arms.
Legs.
Body.
Heart.
Mind.
Soul.
Lock.
One.
Lock.
Two.
A loud thud.
Dizziness.
Confusion.
Conscience.
Self.
I gasp as I hit the rough ground.
Sitting, I rub my back, staring at the stone slab.
My mind wanders to the door.
What door?
The door to my answers.
Though it still doesn't call.
Dazed, I stand up, dragging my feet as I push the entrance door open.
It's still raining.
It's still dark.
Except for one spot.
[Name?]
I blink in confusion.
[Kanna...]
[Good. It's done.]
[What's... Done?]
He walks over, helping me descend.
[You'll know. Soon.]
He smiles. One that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
[Very soon.]
