The following month and a half pass quickly, my schedule was full on most days, with a heavy emphasis on not only learning formal dances I would be expected to know, as well as proper ballroom etiquette, but also on learning to consciously control my affinities with Lordrin, as he insisted that I call him though it still feels weird to refer to an instructor informally. My other classes continued as normal and the only real changes to my schedule, besides the daily classes with Mrs. Christies, were that my Saturna mornings were now spent working with Lordrin, and of course, the time I got to spend tending to Rún.
In regard to the lessons with Mrs. Cristies, the dances got more complex and I thought I would have a hard time picking them up, but thankfully some of the memories I had inherited from my predecessor helped. It was something akin to muscle memory, if I had to try and describe it, but it had accompanying memories of learning the dances as Beira as well. Sadly, the etiquette portion of the lessons were not so easily recalled as apparently, my predecessor had the same negative opinion of the ridiculous rules one is expected to observe in a formal setting, especially when it comes to behavior ‘fitting one’s station’. For her, the behaviors mostly came naturally, but that didn’t stop her from being critical of them, as some of the memories I now possess would attest. Unfortunately, said behaviors do not come naturally to me and, according to Mrs. Christies, I come off as ‘overly timid’ in her simulated social interactions, which is ‘not befitting a future princess of the kingdom’. I can’t help it that I get social anxiety.
Which brings me to one of her other critiques, my stutter. The harder she pushes to correct it, to worse it gets, that was something I tried, and failed, to explain to her multiple times. She even had the gall to tell me that if I can’t speak properly, I shouldn’t speak at all. Naturally, I went to my mother to complain about the treatment of me regarding my speech impediment and, while she was understanding, she seemed to agree in part with Mrs. Christies and talked about adding time to work with a speech therapist to my already overly busy schedule. I didn’t even know they had those in this world, on top of that, I have already had a dedicated speech therapist growing up as Michael, not that I could tell my mother that. The only thing the work with that speech therapist did is show me that the only way for me to somewhat reliably speak without a stutter is if I speak really slowly which makes holding a conversation kind of difficult, and even then, it isn’t perfect and still gets worse as my anxiety levels increase.
As for my lessons with Lordrin, he dropped the lessons on magical theorem and had me dive straight into the practical side of things. His first focus was on my ice affinity, since that was ‘my’ original affinity and I had an easier time controlling it and shaping up to my will. Once again, Biera’s memories helping me in this regard as I knew what I was capable of on the night of my… her death, and how she did what she did. Everything else regarding my ice affinity was just built on using that as a foundation and I quickly found myself pushing beyond her pervious capabilities. Lordrin taught me a couple of chants to help me keep focus once I started demonstrating higher tier control over my ice which were extremely taxing on one’s willpower. While being instructed in using an actual chant, I found out that what was said actually mattered less than I anticipated, instead the cadence and subject mattered more because those were the focal points of the chants. For instance, if I were to use this chant “Of glacial ice, of wind and snow, chill this land till nothing grows. Storm of ice, I call to thee, ravage all in sight and leave none be” it would help me to focus my energy in a way that would make it easier create and maintain a blizzard effect by using the words to guide my will as opposed to just doing it all in my head. I could change the wording but as long as it kept the subject matter the same, and the cadence remained unchanged, I could get the same effect. It was possible to create the same effect without using a chant, but the end result was me being mentally exhausted afterward.
According to Lordrin, the purpose of the chants was to aid me in learning because everything I could do with chants I should be able to do without because I am strong enough in my affinity that I didn’t actually need them. Most people were not so lucky. For more demanding tasks, they required chants. Even with chants, the scope of their capabilities was still limited by their potential. Izzy was more like me, with a much higher potential than most people with affinities, but due to her affinity directly leading to conflict with others people’s willpower, she relies on chants to give her an edge by sharpening her focus to cut through the resistance of the people who fight back mentally. Eventually, she likely won’t need to use chants, but for now, as she learns, they aid her. Apparently, she also didn’t start training her affinity until she was a bit older than most people start their training because of the nature of her affinity.
As for my light affinity, we started focusing on it once Lordrin was comfortable with my level of control over my ice. Practicing it’s uses and applications turned out to be a bit of a challenge for me though, as most of the times I had used it, it wasn’t intentional. On top of that, light affinity was fairly rare and Lordrin had no practical experience teaching someone with it. Most of his knowledge of it came out of text books which weren’t extremely helpful due to the rarity of people with it.
With some practice, though, I could focus it into concentrated beams, creating a high energy output capable of cutting through objects, not unlike a laser, as demonstrated when Lordrin decided to test my reflexes that day. I could use it for illumination of an area, something I had apparently been doing on an unconscious level, and even make it so bright that it was blinding to anyone within that area. We knew it could also be used in healing the wounded, as was demonstrated when I somehow healed Lordrin, but I have yet to figure out how I actually did it that one time.
Most healers use a life affinity to heal, but earth, water, and wood affinities could heal as well. The way they went about varied depending on the affinity, though, which meant studying them was no help to me. Both my mom and dad were capable of healing, though it was difficult for them to heal anything other than minor wounds and even that was extremely exhausting for them. Only people with the life affinity were reliable healers who could cure the most grievous of wounds, provided they got to the victim in time. The doctor that had been tending to me used life affinity, that is why he could tell there was nothing physically wrong with my body after Beira’s attack. I had asked Damian about why the doctor couldn’t sense that her soul was missing when he examined her body, and he said it was simply because soul and life affinities while similar, work differently, not to mention that the only beings with soul affinities were the elves to the north. I got the feeling he wanted to add something to his answer, but didn't for some reason. In fact, he got kind of weird about it toward the end of that conversation.
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Of all the new things that had been added to my schedule, my time with Rún was by and far the most pleasant. I would come in at the tail end of his training with Thomas and usually I would get assist for a few minuets with the cool down from his exercise, before taking him in for his grooming. Thomas, kept me company while I completed my tasks, telling me about Rún’s training for that day and asking me about how my day had gone. The simple act of grooming Rún helped me relax and destress, something I was in dire need of after dealing with Mrs. Christies. Both Thomas and Rún were good listeners and didn’t seem to mind when I felt to need to vent. Rún would even knicker and snort at the appropriate times to make it seem as if he were participating in the conversation and Thomas made a point to include him in the discussions we had. I hated having to leave him each day but always made it a point of sneaking him an apple or sugar cube before I left in an effort to apologize for our limited time together.
Two other things of note happened in that following month and a half, one lock of my hair, just above my right eye gradually turned from it’s signature blue, to a golden blonde. My right eye, while still a shade of blue, also had started slowly shift in color, though only I seem to have noticed it so far.
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I wake up early and stretch like a cat in my bed before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I get out of bed and realize how early it is. Mary won’t show up for at least another thirty minutes, giving me some time to myself. I leave my room, wandering down the hall to the toilet in order to relieve the pressure on my bladder and when I return, I walk back to the bath and activate the crystals to warm the water before I climb in to soak.
Today is the day that we are going to leave to head to the capital city of Aberling for Izzy’s birthday ball. According to mother, it will take us about five days to get there, assuming there is no trouble along the way and the weather holds. I am looking forward to seeing Izzy again so that I can get to know her better since we didn’t have much time together before she had to return to the capital. I am also looking forward to seeing Angus again, since the duke assured me that he would be there. This would be my first time seeing him properly with my own eyes and just thinking about that makes my tummy flutter as if filled with butterflies.
Will I still like what I see? There is a difference between seeing him as an outline and actually seeing him. And what is he doesn’t like this lock of blonde hair? What if he thinks it’s weird? Should I have Mary just cut it off? Or maybe I can hide it under a hat? What about my eye? Nobody has said anything but how could they not notice? He will notice it for sure. I notice it every time I look in a mirror, how could he not notice? What if he thinks I’m too weird now? What if he doesn’t like me anymore?
I fully submerge myself, attempting to silence the sudden flood of thoughts invading my head, but I only run out of breath and have to resurface, gasping for air. Sighing, I try, and fail, to put such thoughts out of my head and focus on cleansing my body followed by washing my hair. As I finish up and stand to reach for one of the nearby towels, it is placed in my hand, starting me.
“Mary!” I exclaim in shock and almost slip as I quickly turn. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I knocked three times and announced myself twice, My Lady.” She says with an amused smile on her lips. “When I received no response from knocking, I slipped in to wake you only to find that you were up already and in the bath, so I called out to you. You seemed rather preoccupied though, and I didn’t want to disturb you, My Lady.”
“Ugh, whatever.” I grumble as I step out of the bath while toweling myself off and drying my hair as best as I can.
While I am drying myself, Mary steps to my closet to retrieve my preselected outfit for today, a cream-colored long sleeve blouse with a high neckline secured by a walnut-colored ribbon tied into a bow that matches the pleated skirt that goes down just past my knee accompanies it. There is a pair of cream stockings for my legs and the shoes she brings out are a simple pair of black low-rise pumps with a chunky heel. Once I am dressed and my hair dried as best as possible, she sits me down and brushes it out while it is still slightly damp before gathering it back and tying it into a thick pony tail with a thick walnut ribbon that she expertly ties into a bow. I am grateful that she didn’t try anything elaborate since today the first day of our journey to the capital city and I picked my outfit the night before more for comfort. She escorts me down to breakfast with my parents before returning to my room to start moving my luggage downstairs so that it can be loaded onto the carriages that we will be traveling in.
After our meal, we make our way outside to where several carriages and a large squad of guards, a couple of who I recognize due to regular interactions with them when going to tend to Rún.
“Sir David! Sir Ashley! Good morning!” I call out to them, waving with a cheery smile.
Both maintain a serious demeanor, probably because my father is right behind me, while offering up a stiff salute to return my greeting.
“No need to be all stiff like that, lads.” My father chimes in. “If you try to maintain that all the way to Aberling, you’ll pass out a half mile out of town. Relax.”
“Yes Sir!” Both cry out in unison and salute once more before visibly relaxing. The other guards in the squad, clearly more experienced just shake their heads and I think I hear one mumble something about the exuberance of youth.
Sir Ashley, who was standing beside the largest of the four carriages, pops off another quick salute as we draw nearer and opens the door.
“We are ready to depart at your command, Your Grace.” He says as he holds the door open.
“Good, good.” My father responds, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder while giving him a kind smile.
My father then extends his hand to help both my mother and me into the carriage before lumbering in behind us. Sir Ashley shuts the door behind my father as we get situated in the carriage. Once we are all seated, my dad sticks his arm out the widow and gives the command to move out, thus beginning our journey.
