1216 A.B.

  She didn’t show it, but the last couple of years had been difficult for Mira. Her tasks as a wash maid were complete drudgery, and she hated every minute of it. Her overseer was a man named Lorond Washman, and he was as foul a person as Mira could think of. Though he was careful to hide it from the public at large, Lorond was fat, foul-mouthed, lecherous, lazy, and thoroughly despicable. He looked like a slug combined with a frog that grew to be human sized and was given a fringe of hair around the periphery of his bulbous skull. He thought of the maids in his employ as his property and he didn’t much care what they thought. He knew they were stuck with him, and he took advantage of it by being handsy to the point of assault, by berating them over the smallest infractions, and by always denigrating them.

  Mira had had enough. She made up her mind that sometime soon she would strike back at him in a very memorable way, but she didn’t have the details worked out yet. She thought to herself about what she would like to do once she was free of Lorond. She was a little young to get a place of her own, but she could do it. Normally people wouldn’t rent a room to someone only sixteen years old because people her age didn’t have decent jobs and might have problems paying the rent. She’d have to create a cover identity. Maybe a trader’s daughter would work. It would have to be a trader from Mithram. That was the closest big city to Stonekeep, and a lot of wealthy people lived there. The rest of her problems would be solved with money. Thanks to her strike against Sivash Surekeel two years ago, she had plenty of that. She needed to see what Bandit thought about all this. She hadn’t been having much fun with Bandit lately, and Bandit had become very bored. That’s never a good thing for a pixie. Well, not good for the people close by, anyway.

  When Mira was done with her work that day, she left the building and found Bandit where she always waited, in an alley a block over. Bandit had a couple of honey bun crumbs still in her whiskers when Mira found her, so her mood couldn’t have been that bad. Mira looked around to make sure they were alone.

  “Hey, hey!” Mira said happily. “I’ve decided to make a change. Are you up for it?”

  Bandit hopped up and down excitedly a few times, nodded in a very un-racoon-like way, and rubbed her little paws together. She was definitely on board.

  “Great! I was thinking I need to leave Lorond and this wash maid slavery behind me. The first thing we need is a safe place to live. I was thinking of a small apartment somewhere in the upper city. I could have the cover identity of a rich merchant’s daughter who’s tired of Mithram or maybe who wanted to get away from an unwelcome suitor. Daddy’s paying for everything. What do you think?” Mira asked.

  Bandit nodded happily.

  “In fact, I was thinking you might like to scout out the perfect little apartment. I’ll let you choose. What do you say? Upper city? Maybe close to a fountain? Sometimes the fountain would drown out the sounds of the city and maybe seem more like your village,” Mira suggested.

  Bandit nodded again. She looked behind her just in case, then changed into her natural pixie self. “You know, I was thinking,” Bandit said in low tones. “Once we secure the apartment, we need to give Lorond a proper goodbye.” Bandit rubbed her little hands together with a gleefully evil expression on her otherwise perfect little face.

  “Yeah! The dead fish in his desk was a good one, but we can’t do that one twice,” Mira said.

  “What haven’t we done yet?” Bandit asked. “We did the goat in his house trick. We put bugs in his sandwiches twice already, and he didn’t even notice the last time! So disappointing. Putting the “the prince is a pansy” sign on his back was a little too overdone. We need something awesome.”

  “I wonder if we could get a big barrel of snot from somewhere and empty it in his office? Probably not. Maybe horse manure?”

  “Nah, he’d just make the other girls clean it up,” Bandit said.

  “Yeah. Probably too hard to get it there in the first place,” Mira said.

  “I know just the thing! It’ll require finesse, a bucket of pig slop or maybe a full chamber pot, and a passing talon of soldiers. It’ll be perfect!” Bandit exclaimed happily.

  Mira liked where this was headed, and she grinned. “All right. You find a place to live first, and when we’re ready, we’ll do it.”

  “I think we should call it ‘Operation Full Moon’,” Bandit suggested, giggling uncontrollably.

  “Full Moon? Oh, I gotta hear about this…”

  Excited, they discussed the plan then walked home. Over the next two days, Bandit scouted the upper city for a place she liked and finally settled on one. The people that lived near that particular building seemed nice. It was a third-floor apartment above an exotic animal store with a fountain in the square next to it. The older gentleman who owned the building and the shop lived on the second floor, and he was a nice, elderly widower whose children had long since grown and moved out. When Bandit showed Mira, they both agreed it was a good place to live.

  Mira scouted the neighborhood pretty thoroughly herself and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary thereabouts. She did see Bermin, one of Kromwell’s toadies, once, and she thought he had a very haunted look to him. He had dark circles under his reddened eyes, and a slovenly appearance. It also struck Mira that it looked like he was stalking someone. Mira didn’t pursue him to see for sure, as she was just glad that he didn’t spot her. She had her own business to worry about.

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  The next day, which was Sixday, Mira went to learn from Whizzbang as was her custom. After the usual greetings, Mira said, “I need to make a withdrawal from my secret stash. Can you open it up for me, please?”

  “Of course,” Whizzbang said. “What’s changed?”

  “I’m quitting the wash maid business, and I need the money to get my own place,” Mira replied.

  “Going to get your own life. I like it,” Whizzbang said. “You’re far too young to secure an apartment for yourself, but I can teach you a way to alter yourself magically to appear a little older and to change your look. I think you’ll want to keep this place a secret, or your father will find you.”

  “I was wondering how I could make that work. Thanks! When can we start on the spell?”

  “Why not today? I think you can learn what I have to teach.”

  “Hey, how about some of those handy attack spells you used on the necromancer? When are you gonna teach me those?” Mira asked.

  “Baby steps, Mira,” Whizzbang said. “You need to have a firm foundation of knowledge before you go fiddling around with power like that, or you’ll die a very messy death.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Mira said. “So you keep saying.”

  “I mean it, too. Go get that book with the orange binding on the third shelf and we’ll get started,” Whizzbang said.

  It took two solid days of instruction and practice, but Mira finally managed to master a spell that allowed her to alter herself for an extended time. Mira made time on the next Sixday to go to the pet store owner and secure the apartment. She took Whizzbang’s advice and altered her appearance to appear heavier than she was, and with long, reddish hair rather than her own short, brown hair. The owner’s name was Defar Nail, and he seemed like a nice man. He had a light copper colored dog named Honey that was always at his side. Honey was a good dog, and she liked to be petted, which was a very unusual thing in Stonekeep. Mira didn’t trust dogs because they were almost always feral, but she decided Honey was all right. After spilling her fabricated story, and answering some basic questions, Defar gave Mira the key, and she gave him a deposit and the first month’s rent.

  Now it was time to arrange for some furnishings, so Mira bought a table with four chairs, a bed, a footlocker, a wardrobe, and a few other household necessities. She arranged for them to be delivered in two days’ time, as tomorrow was Sevenday, and it was a day most people rested from work. She still had to go to work, but she vowed it would be her last day working for Lorond. The only problem with this was that she was effectively cutting ties with her family. She didn’t like her father at all, and her brothers were just like him, but her mother was a suffering saint, and Mira loved her for it. She promised herself that she would visit from time to time when the men of the house were working.

  Mira started the next day as she always did and went to her workplace as usual. It was easy to acquire a very full chamber pot, as Lorond forced the young women working for him to do his cleaning also. She thought it was poetic justice that he would soon suffer because of his own crap. Mira volunteered to handle the cleaning of his living quarters that day, which made all the girls nervous. They knew fully well that she was up to something, and she had to assure them that they wouldn’t suffer because of it before they agreed to let Mira clean Lorond’s place. He had no clue what was coming. He wasn’t smart enough to catch Mira at any of her tricks before, after all. Lorond lived above the business he ran, so Mira put the pot on the sill of the open window above the street as she had discussed with Bandit. This window also happened to be directly above Lorond’s office window, which he usually kept open. Bandit was invisible and was stationed outside the office window, waiting impatiently for the perfect moment. She had captured some fire ants earlier and had locked them in a glass jar close by. All that was left was to wait for the guard patrol.

  After some waiting, Bandit finally spied a patrol coming down the street. The trick was in the timing. When the soldiers got closer, Bandit took the jar of fire ants and emptied them into the rear of Lorond’s trousers as he sat on the stool in his office. Bandit then flew up next to the chamber pot, already grinning ear to ear. When Lorond made the first questioning, then painful yelp, Bandit used her magic to fling the chamber pot down onto the guards as they passed. They were examining the mess that was flung on them in angry confusion when Lorond jumped off of his stool, knocking it over, and carelessly yanked down his pants. He hollered and slapped his bare rear end directly in front of the open window, in full view of the now very displeased guards. They saw the paper in the window that said, “soldiers are pansies!” and that was it. They took one look at the sergeant, who bared his teeth and made a bee line for Lorond’s office with all ten soldiers of the talon right on his heels. With indignant yells and curses, they hauled Lorond across his desk, held him down, and with his pants still around his ankles they flogged his backside thoroughly with a thick leather belt.

  The passers-by in the street could see everything through the window, and the spectacle made quite an impression on them. Mira made sure that she had a clear view of all of this as she was working downstairs. She didn’t even try to hide her laughter this time, and all the other girls were laughing, too. The guards used Lorond’s apron to clean their armor off and threw it in his fat, red face, still protesting his innocence. He was still pulling his pants up when Mira walked in, dropping her apron on the floor.

  “Bye, Lorond. I quit. I hope this is the best day you ever have,” Mira said with a mocking wave as she turned to go.

  “You can’t quit! Your father gave you to me!” Lorond shouted, red-faced.

  “I’m no one’s slave, you filthy gutter slug!” Mira called out as she walked away. “You should keep that in mind the next time you mistreat your maids!”

  Lorond scratched his head in confusion, but then comprehension dawned. “Wait right there! This was your doing wasn’t it?” Lorond yelled uselessly.

  He was still cursing her, his own excrement smeared on his face, as she turned the corner on her way to her family’s house. It was a short walk, and soon enough she entered the dwelling. Because it was Sevenday, her father and brothers weren’t working and were instead sleeping in. Mira tiptoed into her little room and picked up her meager belongings. She walked out to the kitchen, where her mother was making breakfast. Maureen saw her daughter there with her belongings in her pockets, not wearing her apron, and knew right away what was happening. She embraced her daughter warmly.

  “I’m not working for Lorond anymore.”

  “Your father ’ll beat you senseless when he hears from Lorond,” her mother warned.

  “He’ll never find me. I’ll visit you from time to time, mom, I promise.”

  “Where will you live?”

  “I’ve got a place of my own already.”

  “Do you have a job? Money?”

  “I already have everything I need, mom. I’ll be fine.”

  “You know how I worry. You’ve always gotten into too much trouble.”

  “I know, I can’t help it. I love you,” Mira said as she gave her mom another hug.

  “I love you too, Mira. Take care, and remember your promise to visit,” Maureen said with a heavy heart.

  Mira gave her mother one last hug and was out the door before the firestorm caught up with her.