*Schlick* *Plop*

  “Ohmygod!! Why is everything soooo bright! Even in the shade! I should’ve just stayed in the tree! My heart is so loud! Why am I yelling!?”

  Now you know what a baby feels like… again? You don’t remember your birth do you?

  “No I don’t remember my birth! And even if I did, it’s now overwritten by this horrific moment!”

  Taking the several moments before existence quits burning my retinas through the back of my skull I start to shakily stand and brush the dirt off of my bare skin.

  “Oh right… I’m naked… I’m naked because I just had a tree give birth to… me. Do you think I’m going to hell for blaspheme Zee?”

  Oh most definitely. If anybody manages to kill us AAHHAHAHAAAHA

  “Alright, calm down Zee. New body causing you to go haywire?”

  Maybe, this is a first for both of us. Splitting off analysis and repair.

  Staying well clear of the hole I just came out of and leaving Zee to it’s duties I walk around the side of the tree to my Phoenix location. Looking at my old body that is still my body is a bit terrifying in its own way.

  ‘Am I really that unfortunate to look at… that’s depressing. Lets fix that now that I can with all these parts the tree can provide. I always wanted to be pretty!’

  First I adjust my flinty barely holding together graying blonde hair and change it to jet black with those cool blue highlights to it. Smaller nose definitely. Get rid of the wrinkles. Almond shaped eyes. Make iris’ yellow because why not. Cheek bones...

  “There, I always loved that disgusted secretary look. Now for my body, scars first.”

  I used to be somewhat athletic but that stopped pretty immediately during the car accident and I want to return to that.

  ‘Snow still gives me the willies. Never driving drunk in the snow again that’s for sure.’

  “Pretty busty already so that’s fine… fuck body hair I’m sick of shaving… reshape my-”

  Why are you so focused on looks? We don’t even know what the locals look like yet, or even if there are any, so we don’t even know how to blend in yet?

  “Because I never liked the way I looked Zee. Now I have the opportunity to change it, so if I want to give myself a rockin’ ass I will do so with glee!” Slapping ‘myself’ on the ass I get the show on the road.

  “Alright no more weird… therapy sessions. Advance Parasite protocol to Host Control protocol and deposit ninety percent of remaining cells into Phoenix host. Password verification: Sigmund Freud had mommy problems.”

  With that my Phoenix is absorbed inside the tree trunk and spread throughout to hopefully be protected. Hopefully. I really don’t think anyone is getting to this tree. Also it will continue it’s work on remodeling and upgrading the tree to increase survivability and control, that will take quite a while though. Now that that is done this current me is now usable but intentionally disposable.

  “Zee you done?”

  … Almost… now. Free to go!

  “Right on! Lets go catch us a predator… nobody taking seats this time. Zee two additional monitors at all times, that thing managed to sneak up on us last time and we don’t want that to happen again before we are ready.”

  Sure. Splitting off monitors. What’s the plan? Trojan horse?

  “You know me so well Zee. Yep we’re going to go get eaten. Time for start of self defense.”

  Sounds painful. Lets start tracking over where it lost its leg.

  “A blood trail is going to make this a lot easier.”

  Taking the couple hours to find the scene of the attack as I was too busy panicking to get an accurate read on the location and Zee was busy with the root samples, we eventually reach the edge where it happened.

  “Amazing how those roots hide themselves like an ambush predator, the dirt doesn’t even look like anything happened and then suddenly there’s a bunch of blood two inches outside in the grass. Prey around here must not be very smart?”

  Possible, but look how fast it expands its territory, evidence disappears relatively quick.

  “Ya, four days to expand a few feet, this thing is like the Usain Bolt of trees. Y’know I just now remembered it’s been four days, I hope it didn’t bleed out in that time, that’d ruin half the fun.”

  Only one way to find out.

  Surprisingly but also unsurprisingly the monster didn’t actually get that far. Though I don’t think that was its intention. Following the trail of dried blood for a few minutes we stumble upon an opening in the ground that would readily serve as a home to something that big.

  “So that’s how it snuck up on us. It was already there to begin with.”

  Will need to work out a way to scan the ground efficiently, so far everything threatening we’ve encountered has been from below.

  “I’ll add it to the list, so many things to do still. Alright, lets have the cells prepare for Trojan horse and start cutting off pain receptors, I don’t want to add this to the list of things I remember. OW!”

  Cutting pain receptors will cause pain! Stopping order. Lets try it again with a bit more subtlety. Stopping chemical reactions in the areas of pain receptors… Done!

  “Thanks Zee. Lets pretend I didn’t just do that.”

  No no I want to remind you about it later.

  Ignoring the brat we make our way into the cavern and are immediately greeted by the smell of rotting. Tracking it to its source behind several twists and turns we find the monster snacking on the carcasses of a few long dead formless animals. Doesn’t look like it’s enjoying it though.

  ‘Looks alright for missing a leg.’

  Spotting me immediately as I was never good at stealth, instinct takes over when its pupils dilate and I take off running like the scared little animal that I am.

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  “OHFUCKOHFUCK! Bad idea, why did you let me do this!”

  Why are you running? This was your idea! Why are you going that way the tree is the other way?

  “AH SHI-”

  YOU HAVE DIED

  Activating Phoenix protocol… done… assembling new body… time to complete… six Earth hours…

  *Schlick* *Plop*

  “This pain is going to be the same every single time!?”

  So as I was saying. Why did you run? You meant to get eaten right?

  “I didn’t mean to run! I panicked!”

  Well… it worked? Cell concentration too low at the location to obtain full measurements from here, but Trojan activated before death. Don’t cry, look you have your new looks that you wanted.

  “I’m not crying, ignore that. Lets just go check on the Trojan progress.”

  ‘Holy fuck, I’m never doing that again…’

  Strutting off without another thought I have to return a moment later as I forgot to increase my concentration of cells and put on my old clothes in my hurry to do anything else than just sit there.

  Cell concentration fully back to two to one. Now I can start slowly upgrading our cells, lets focus on general athleticism for now. Getting caught way too easy.

  “……….Thank you Zee.”

  Taking the hour long walk back to the cave allowed me the chance to clear my head somewhat.

  ‘Good thing I never wanted to be a hero, I would have froze up and died long ago. Imagine being jealous of them. Not my problem no more, being so far from home.’

  Returning to the cave I’m much more cautious entering, staying low to the ground and moving slowly, I can hear scuffing on rock but that is probably caused by the monster having seizures. Creeping around the final corner my suspicions are proven right. With it on its back, legs jabbed straight up in the air and the muscles run taught like steel cables. Occasionally it thrashes around violently sending my flight instinct right to the redline, but that lessens the longer I hang around.

  “Can you get a read on it being this close? Zee?”

  Sorry yes, downloading data currently. Infection in front right foreleg… stump, closing wound for now so we don’t lose control doing more drastic repair. Will take a few more hours until we have it completely under control. It has a lot of wrinkles in its brain! It’s smarter than it looks! I was expecting it to be smoother than glass with the way it chased us so much.

  “Probably desperate for food with that tree around. Okay I’ll look around and see if there’s anything of use.”

  ‘Oh hey there’s my leg and part of my torso...’

  Instead of continuing my search after that. I resign myself to a corner of the cave and watch the monsters tremors while braiding my hair to distract myself.

  ‘

  -Add more so life won’t become meaningless again - ?

  -Survive – for Zees sake

  -Find out where I am – Duh

  -Enact self defense protocol – in progress

  -Find a local if there is any – after at least Phoenix gaining control of the wogerworking name

  -On the off chance they know a language I know – speak

  -Otherwise – pick brain – may or may not have to be literal

  -Find way home – do I even want to?

  -Find way to scan ground – be obnoxious with sonar? Cells shifting around me? Wireless points and lots of math? Use tree roots? Make the woger do it?

  -Dying – never again

  -Start on Cell mitosis again – need to work on them being smaller than virus

  -Work on Safe Harbor protocol – next few months

  -Research local flora and fauna – moving target.

  ‘

  Jay I’m done.

  “Finally under control?”

  For our purposes. Using Cells to split torso open now.

  “You have a back up of where everything is located right?”

  Yep! Putting its brain into a coma now.

  With that it falls limp and it’s time for the fun part. Pulling things out to see what the difference is.

  “Okay the obvious ones: It’s very male, has two hearts - the much smaller one purely fueling its digestive system, lungs with separate section for that heart as well, somehow has a ruminative liver with several sections, very very strong stomach acid - started eating through the lining almost immediately after we pulled this out.”

  Holding up the organ in question, ignoring the smell the best I can, I throw it against the wall with a loud bang. It’s like a pulsing fractured rock with ligaments holding the pieces together.

  I think that is what we’re looking for, has a very familiar signature to it… oh! I know where we’ve seen it before!

  “The monster-humans.” The super-humans!

  “Yep, this is massive compared to the size mine was.”

  Yours? You don’t have one.

  “Ripped mine out years ago, before I created you. Nearly killed me.”

  Why would you ever do that? Don’t want powers?

  “I don’t like things I don’t make myself. The idea of that just popping up and making me better-than by chance disgusted me.”

  Isn’t that just cutting off your nose to spite your face?

  “We can save the philosophical debate for later. Lets piece this dude back together before he actually dies. Lets fix his stomach first, that is a worrying amount of drip.”

  One thing first. What was your power?

  *SIGH*

  “I could take away someones pain, but would have to feel it myself or make someone else feel it. Not that great unless I was being tortured and I wasn’t all that interested in feeling someone else's pain, psychological or otherwise. Hurry.”

  Victim, okay now I get it. Stomach goes here, heart here - no little to the left, shift the liver over. Aren’t you going to put that organ back? Jada? Jada!

  “Sorry what?”

  Aren’t you going to put that organ back, the one that you threw against the wall?

  “Oh. Ya right sorry, distracted. Lets get his blood pumping before ending the coma.”

  On it.

  Defrankensteining the monster, it takes a few minutes for it to wake up. Rolling over slowly, its pupils dilate again with hunger when it spots me, but that’s the most it can do with Zee and I in control of its body. The mind is free but nothing else.

  Poking it on the nose, some drool drips from its mouth onto the ground.

  “This alien just made you her bitch, and I’m no longer on the menu. You can’t understand me but whatever. Fixing its leg now… lets use the carcasses around here for the materials. I’ll donate some more Cells to make this quicker Zee.”

  Having it gorge itself on every piece of meat, bone and loose rock in the surroundings until its belly is dragging on the floor we start the process of rebuilding its leg by copying its left leg and mirroring it so it looks right.

  ‘Even being so nice to you, you still look like you’d rather eat me.’

  “Now for some classical conditioning. You did say it was smart right?”

  Very smart if its brain activity is anything to go by. Seems we stressed it out by having it eat its back stock of food. Have to keep an eye on it.

  “This will be difficult at first then. Paralysis and debilitating pain when it tries to attack us, and give a blast of the good chemicals when it does what we want.”

  Good chemicals? Jada I’m in your head but not ‘in’ your head.

  “Trigger it brain receptors to make it feel like it just got a very very small shot of heroin. General euphoria should do it.”

  Got it.

  “Starting now, give it its first dose as we walk back to the surface, make it feel small amounts of pleasure when it’s following us.”

  Repent all who follow us. HAHA! Giving first dose… now.

  ‘Now to do what humans did to dogs over several thousand years to this thing mentally. Hopefully this doesn’t take nearly that long.’

  Limping along behind me while it gets used to its new leg we head to the surface.