Hajime and Chun Bu rise from the dungeon level to the mortal-tier floor, both silent during the trip—both depressed, but for entirely different reasons.

  Chun Bu breaks the silence, “Damn it… why won’t you shut up System?!”

  It looks like Chun Bu is dealing with voices in his head… just like Hajime.

  Hajime sighs. “I’ve secured food for today… but what about tomorrow?”

  Valiant replies, “Then work for it.”

  Hajime asks, “Work on what? Turning over pots and collecting donations? Although… on second thought…”

  He seriously considers whether this world works on RPG rules and whether he can just enter rooms and take whatever isn’t nailed down.

  A ding sounds and the elevator doors open. Waiting outside is a crowd of thirty female cultivators, shouting:

  “Welcome back Chun Bu!”

  Chun Bu smiles. “It’s good to be back. Has the room reservation been taken care of?”

  A library-themed cultivator answers, “Everything is in order Chun Bu!”

  Chun Bu nods proudly. “Excellent work, Xu Ximbi!”

  The girl cheers enthusiastically.

  Hajime whispers, “I don’t think that’s her name.”

  Chun Bu points at his group. “See what I’m dealing with?”

  Hajime nods solemnly. “Yeah… I understand.”

  Chun Bu addresses the group: “Now, does anyone know where the mess hall is in the citadel? This esteemed one is famished.”

  A slightly chubby girl—still ethereally beautiful—replies,

  “Fifty paces north, sixty paces east, and eighty paces south!”

  Chun Bu beams. “Lead the way, Mo Feng!”

  Hajime murmurs, “Are you just saying random names?”

  Chun Bu nods. The girl shouts proudly: “Follow me, Chun Bu!”

  The massive entourage moves together, and Hajime notices that prices increase with every step they take.

  “Valiant, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

  Valiant: “Yeah… this is really scummy.”

  Whalescalibur: “It’s dynamic pricing. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!”

  Caladblock: “Hajime, when I’m at full power, please destroy this capital.”

  Hajime nods seriously. “Nothing is worse than seeing prices go up wile you’re standing nearby.”

  He turns to Chun Bu. “Chun Bu… the prices…”

  Chun Bu sighs. “Hajime… money isn’t a problem for me.”

  Hajime: “They pay for it?”

  Chun Bu nods.

  Hajime’s eyes sparkle with hope. “You wouldn’t mind if I binge eat?”

  Chun Bu laughs. “Go crazy. No skin off my teeth.”

  Hajime nearly cries tears of joy.

  “You… are the third best thing that has ever happened to me in this world.”

  Chun Bu smiles. “Thanks for the praise. Eat all you like.”

  Valiant: “Third best thing…? I’m curious what the first two are…”

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  Whalescalibur: “Obviously me, I’m the first.”

  Caladblock: “Didn’t you promise to shut up?, Block!”

  Hajime is satisfied that his talking equipment is at least moderating themselves.

  He stares at the banquet of ad-food. He HATES looking at advertisements plastered everywhere, but Caladblock and Valiant work overtime cutting the ads blocking his fork.

  Chun Bu watches with shock. “How are you doing that?”

  Hajime: “Doing what?”

  Chun Bu: “Skipping the ads—doesn’t that cripple your power?”

  Hajime shrugs. “Nope. I don’t care about this world’s power system.”

  Chun Bu nods slowly. “I understand. When I first arrived, I was confused too.”

  Hajime blinks. “Arrived? Didn’t you transmigrate here?”

  Chun Bu explains: “When I fought my mortal foe, I was struck down and fell into the River of the Seven Souls of Kunlun. The current dragged me to this strange realm.”

  Hajime: “So you were dragged to my world? And this group is all from here?”

  Chun Bu nods. “My original party is as large as a small kingdom.”

  Hajime: “So you’re in chapter 3,000 of your story?”

  Chun Bu nods again.

  Hajime: “Then… I’m truly sorry. It’s worse than I ever imagined.”

  They finish eating in silence. Hajime packs food to go.

  Chun Bu asks, “Are you a physical cultivator?”

  Hajime: “Don’t know. I just internalized my anger and got a rocking bod.”

  Chun Bu: “That’s… impressive.”

  Hajime: “I know!”

  They return to the dungeon floor. The tortured souls fall silent at Chun Bu’s presence. They both reach Hajime’s room...

  Hajime opens the door—

  MOOOOOOHHHHH

  Chun Bu: “I didn’t know you had a cow.”

  Hajime deadpans: “I think that was supposed to be my dinner.”

  Chun Bu: “How do you know?”

  Hajime points to the floor—

  The tiny cow is standing on a dinner plate.

  Hajime sighs. “Good thing I binge ate.”

  Chun Bu casts a silence charm so the cow stops mooing.

  Hajime asks, “Why don’t you want the cold beauty to become my Saintess?”

  Chun Bu: “Because she is the target of my System. It would hinder my cultivation.”

  Hajime: “You’re forced to pursue her?”

  Chun Bu: “Yes. The System punishes me with bad luck if I don’t. Sometimes it says I’ll die.”

  Hajime: “Ahhh, it’s one of those systems…”

  Chun Bu: “Luckily for you, her targets are locked to my genre—100% female centric.”

  Hajime: “So this arc was supposed to cuck me out of a heroine if I chose her?”

  Chun Bu: “Crude… but accurate discernment.”

  Hajime: “This isn’t the first time, right?”

  Chun Bu sniffles. “Yes… she’s ruined perfectly healthy relationships before.”

  Hajime: “Damn. The god who reincarnated you has that fetish…”

  Chun Bu: “I know, but I need the immortality!”

  Hajime: “For what?”

  Chun Bu: “Revenge! I’ll reform the world into a pure-love paradise and erase everything she did to me from canon!”

  Hajime: “Insane… but totally doable by cultivation logic.”

  Chun Bu: “I knew you’d understand!”

  Hajime: “But she’ll probably kill you before that.”

  Chun Bu: “I’ve considered that. She’s is always watching.”

  Hajime: “You know, it won’t be a dignified death.”

  Chun Bu: “Why not?”

  Hajime: “I think your fate is going to be a ‘sucked dry by cultivation cauldron’ ending.”

  Chun Bu turns white. “Don’t… don’t say something so horrible!”

  Hajime: “Have you ever seen your mortal foe’s face?”

  Chun Bu: “Never! He has never shown his face!”

  Hajime: “It’s not a he. It’s a she.”

  Chun Bu: “Are you saying my mortal foe plans to cauldron me to death?!”

  Hajime: “Does your foe always aim at your limbs?”

  Chun Bu: “Yes! Always non-lethal cuts!”

  Hajime: “That confirms it.”

  Chun Bu panics and asks the Immortal Empress in his ring,

  “Is what he’s saying true?”

  She replies, “Chun Bu, heed the hero’s warning. I always felt your foe had too much Yin affinity, it does complements your Yang constitution to perfection.”

  Chun Bu shakes. “Hero—what do I do?!”

  Hajime: “There is a solution, but it should be reserved for a last resort.”

  Chun Bu: “What is it?!”

  Hajime makes a snipping gesture with his fingers.

  Chun Bu turns pale. “Never!”

  The Immortal Empress: “It is a solution… but your friend is just teasing you.”

  Hajime grins. “Yeah. The real answer is to become stronger—classical protagonist route dude.”

  Chun Bu breathes in relief. “So just continue according to plan.”

  Hajime: “Good luck, Chun Bu.”

  Chun Bu stands. “Thank you for the guidance, my friend. I’ll come again for more advice later.”

  He leaves with a small smile on his face.

  The tortured souls resume screaming after his departure. The cow moos in distress.

  Hajime sighs. “What should I name you,little fella?”

  MOOOOHHH

  Hajime smiles. “Got it. I’ll call you Zeus.”