Hajime stretches on Deus’s CEO chair and talks outloud,

  “Honestly, it’s pretty comfy... Shouldn't I just take it?”

  Just as he says that, a notification pops up from the chair’s rightful owner:

  [Get off my chair or I’ll summon your greatest fear into this room!]

  Not underestimating a god, Hajime immediately stands up and steps away from the chair, visibly saddened.

  A holy hymn jingle echoes across the entire room — a corporate, divine theme song praising Elnora, followed by enthusiastic cheers from... somewhere. Hajime sighs, closing his eyes and bracing for the inevitable flashbang. Several minutes awkwardly pass...

  Then, a firm voice rings out:

  “Open your eyes, Hero... We need to talk.”

  The tone was like a mother scolding a child.

  Hajime opens his eyes to find Deus, the CEO Goddess herself, having descended from her plane, now sitting regally in the chair.

  “What a surprise,” Hajime says. “I thought it would take longer before we had this talk.”

  Deus narrows her glowing eyes.

  “Cheeky little product. Time is my domain — all has already been resolved.”

  “So you won against Tentacle-san then?” Hajime asks.

  Deus shifts uncomfortably.

  “Aherm… yes… she left after witnessing my magnificence.”

  Her blocky divine avatar glitches slightly as she speaks.

  “Sure,” Hajime says flatly. “I’ll be leaving now.”

  “Hold it!” Deus shouts.

  A divine light barrier immediately traps Hajime inside the room. He sighs loudly and waits.

  “Cheeky little hero,” Deus says, crossing her arms. “I’ve read what you did to my contract, and to be honest… I’m rather proud.”

  “Excuse you?” Hajime raises an eyebrow.

  “To be able to navigate my contract is a measure of a hero’s real caliber,” she continues. “No one has done it as well as you.”

  “Then if you’re proud,” Hajime asks, “why are you pissed off?”

  Deus’s smile vanishes.

  “You changed something I would never have allowed. That feat pisses me off.”

  Hajime tilts his head. “Was it the subordinate clause?”

  “Who cares about them?” Deus scoffs. “They’re just my wranglers.”

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  “Then… it’s the marriage to Elnora part.”

  “YES! You bastard!” Deus yells. “I never agreed to that!”

  Hajime grins. “You did agree to that.”

  Deus frowns. “I’ve reviewed the timestream — nothing suggests I ever approved it.”

  “Oh, but you did,” Hajime replies. “You just need to think outside the box a little.”

  Deus goes silent, her divine processing speeding through millennia of timelines in seconds.

  After a pause, she mutters, “After reviewing a thousand years of possibilities... I still don’t know.”

  Hajime smirks. “In that case, don’t expect renegotiations to be easy.”

  Deus frowns. “This contract cannot be renegotiated. It’s... for life.”

  Hajime leans forward. “Tell you what — I’ll explain how it happened if you give me the chair.”

  “Never!” Deus snaps.

  “Is the chair that important?”

  “Nooo... it’s my... nevermind!”

  “So,” Hajime says, “are we done here?”

  Deus sighs. “Yes, we’re done for now Hero. You’ll be escorted to your cheapo hero accommodations. Tomorrow, you’ll choose your wrangler.”

  “Lucky me...” Hajime mutters.

  “This sucks,” Deus groans. “Now I have to get even more involved than in the other heroic stories...”

  “Shit,” Hajime sighs.

  “It’s not that bad,” Deus says, regaining her composure. “You got the attention of the CEO — that practically screams success in this world.”

  “You’re not doing this for me,” Hajime says flatly.

  “Of course I am!” Deus replies nervously.

  “I’m not choosing Elnora as the one true heroine.”

  “Take that back, you monster!” Deus bellows. “She’s the purest, most devoted follower — the perfect product I’ve ever envisioned! I’ll smite you to kingdom come!”

  “There it is,” Hajime says. “All this contract nonsense is for her.”

  “Of course it is!” Deus snaps. “I never wanted you in this world to begin with!”

  “That doesn’t make sense,” Hajime says. “I don’t think Elnora swings that way.”

  Deus blinks. “Elaborate, Hero.”

  “Wasn’t the next hero supposed to be female?”

  “Yes, and?”

  “Then does Elnora want to marry a female?”

  Deus processes this for a second. “That... was a different contract. I wanted to spice things up for Season Six, for diversity reasons. But then you showed up, so we defaulted to the amended one.”

  “So it wasn’t a yuri season you wanted to see?” Hajime smirks.

  “Shut up, you blasphemous heathen!” Deus shouts.

  Hajime wisely shuts up.

  “The Sixth Saintess Selection is still scheduled for this week,” Deus says, regaining composure. “You, however, have responsibilities to attend to.”

  She pulls a divine card from her blocky bosom.

  “This is Premium Access to the Guided Tour of the Citadel. Give it to any being, and they will be your tour guide.”

  “Any being?” Hajime asks. “If I give it to you, would you tour me around?”

  Deus hesitates. “Yes… it works that way,” she mumbles. “Better amend that later.”

  Hajime pockets the card and gets up to leave. The barrier doesn’t dissipate.

  He looks at Deus. They stare at each other for a long, awkward moment.

  “The door, please,” Hajime says.

  Deus mutters, “Use... the...”

  Hajime sighs, approaches her, and says, “Would you give me a tour around?”

  She takes the card, tucks it back into her bosom, and says,

  “You have redeemed your card. Tour begins tomorrow, 7:00 angelic time, sharp.”

  The barrier fades, and Hajime is sent to the angelic secretary.

  “Welcome back, Hero!” she says cheerfully.

  Hajime notices a plushie of himself sitting next to an Amanonus fan picture.

  “Yeah,” he says. “Everything ended well.”

  “I’ve been ordered to escort you to your accommodations,” she says with a strange spark in her eyes. “Please, follow me.”

  She walks to the elevator and presses a rather ominous button.

  Hajime’s expression darkens.

  “We’re going to the dungeon... Are you sure that’s where my room is?”

  With a sunny smile, she replies, “Yep! Your subscription tier says it is.”

  The elevator descends into the dark bowels of the Pyramid Scheme.