Hajime returns to his room. Chun Bu is still in the corner, perfectly motionless—watching ads with absolute focus. Zeus is feasting on premium slop, and fresh food waits on the newly constructed table. Hajime digs in and expresses silent gratitude once again for Chun Bu’s harem.

  Hajime: They cook great…

  After eating, Hajime asks Whalescalibur:

  Hajime: “Hey Whale, I’ve got a question about Autumn.”

  Whalescalibur snorts: “Ugh. Yes, that fake girl—what about her?”

  Hajime: “What’s her deal? She’s seriously annoying and clingy.”

  Whalescalibur practically spits into Hajime’s consciousness:

  Whale: “That old clout-chaser has been advertising her existence since the beginning of all heroic journeys.”

  Hajime: “…Oh. Is she as old as Elnora?”

  Whale: “Older.”

  Hajime visibly gags.

  Hajime: “Then what does she want?”

  Whale: “What all clout-chasers want—to be number one.”

  Hajime: “But that’s impossible with how the contest is set up.”

  Whale: “Sure is! But she tries anyway, even though it’s futile.”

  Hajime actually feels a spark of sympathy. He does respects the grind.

  Whalescalibur continues:

  “She’s chases on and off after heroes for every generation. If she likes them she gets clingier than a domesticated pet! She doesn’t respect the hierarchy!”

  Hajime smiles: “Good thing I’ve been pissing her off. Maybe she’ll leave me alone.”

  Whale: “…No you haven’t. She’s clingier now than ever thanks to you're tail touching!.”

  Hajime ages 60 years in one ear instantly.

  Valiant: “That’s enough, Whale! You’re killing him!”

  Caladblock: “Block!”

  Whalescalibur is forcibly put in timeout for one day.

  Hajime with weakness say's: “I’m not surviving this, am I?”

  Valiant: “Don’t wallow in despair. Just survive the selection. I know you can do it!”

  Walletbreaker: “You can sleep it off! That’s how I get through tough times.”

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  Hajime: “…That might be the smartest thing you’ve ever said Walletbreaker.”

  Walletbreaker giggles: “Jijijijiji~ Good night, everyone.”

  Caladblock: “There she goes again. Lazy piece of scrap metal.”

  Hajime grows serious.

  Hajime: “Listen… if things go badly, I may need you all to do something for me.”

  He shares his emergency plan with the swords.

  Valiant: “It would work, but it’ll scare a lot of people.”

  Caladblock: “I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.”

  Whale wiggles side to side in distress.

  Walletbreaker: Zzzzz…

  Everything is prepared—for survival.

  Hajime heads to bed, but something new appears. Ads from Deus—educational ads and rat-poison ads—flying toward him at insane speed's. None reach him, but the rate increases exponentially for every wave.

  Hajime: “What the hell is happening?”

  Valiant: “Deus is fulfilling her promise. She’s sending future, past, and present ads to increase your power.”

  Hajime: “They’re not stopping…”

  Valiant: “She’s here. She sees they aren’t being viewed, so she keeps sending them. Eventually one may break through!”

  Hajime: “Why is she so damned stubborn?!”

  Deus’ monitor appears before him:

  Deus: “Give it up, hero. They are programmed to multiply until consumed.”

  Hajime: “Stop spamming me, you damned marketer!”

  Deus: “Just give in. Learn to love the world I created. The longer you stall, the longer the ads become to compensate for your lack of power!”

  Valiant: “The ads—they’re increasing in length! One is already seven seconds longer!”

  Deus: “For every wasted second, they grow longer. Just watch them properly.”

  Hajime: “Never!”

  More grey hairs instantly sprout.

  His room becomes a warzone of miasma and green glitches. Even Chun Bu awakens.

  Chun Bu: “What is happening, friend!? Are you under attack!? There’s no killing intent in this mess?!”

  Hajime: “Heaven, in its infinite wisdom, is blessing me with hot garbage!”

  Deus: “Did you say you want hot garbage ads? Why didn’t you say so!?”

  She changes the ads to tutorials on efficient garbage burning.

  Hajime: “That’s not what I meant, Deus!”

  Valiant: “You know how she is!, Focus Hajime!”

  Caladblock: “The cheer volume is too much to handle, my dear! I’m weakening!”

  Hajime: “Deus—is your condition that they must be consumed?”

  Deus: “Yes. That’s the structure I designed them to work, what are you getting at prop?.”

  Hajime looks at Zeus.

  Hajime: “Come here boy—dinner time. Lots of hot garbage here for you!”

  Zeus wakes groggily, sees the divine energy flying at Hajime, walks over, and opens his mouth. A suction vortex devours every ad. Zeus burps a small golden fire and grows a few centimeters in height.

  Hajime hugs him: “Truly the king of all cows!”

  Deus: “What an innovative solution. I approve! Who would have thought you’d invest so wholeheartedly in you're Sacred Mount? Marketed Success!”

  Her screen vanishes with a golden puff.

  Hajime: “Is she just refusing to admit that she lost…?”

  Chun Bu: “Excuse me Hero, was that your goddess?”

  Hajime: “No. She’s the patron goddess of this world. My goddess is peaceful and silent.”

  Text appears before his eyes:

  Thank you for the compliment.

  Chun Bu: “Can I switch goddesses with you?”

  Hajime: “You know neither of us can do that.”

  Chun Bu laughs—then they hear the System talking for the first time.

  System: “Don’t badmouth my mother, demon!”

  Chun Bu: “What the hell!, Its the first time I'm hearing she’s your mother!”

  Hajime: “Dude, she’s obviously her daughter. She’s literally the wrangler the NTR goddess designed specifically for you.”

  Chun Bu goes pale: “Don’t say those cursed words!”

  System: “What’s NTR?”

  Chun Bu: “SHUT UP! Never say that again!”

  System: “I’ll query Mom later!”

  Chun Bu pales further.

  Chun Bu: “Did we screw up?”

  Hajime: “Who knows… let’s see what happens.”

  They sigh in unison and prepare for the summons to the pre-Saintess Selection party.