Song vibe: Sea - BTS

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  SAPHIRA

  Haven Highway, Hart Mountain

  The cart jolted. Saphira awoke. The flaming torch Nocturne had tied to the side of the cart lit the road ahead. The cart lurched again and Saphira felt it move slowly uphill. She rubbed her dry, aching eyes. Her hands fell to her stomach; the firm swell was no more, instead, only a soft, empty womb. She bit her lip, trying to stop an audible cry from releasing. Numbly, she moved her hands from her stomach and found Dusty. She stroked the hell-leopard’s soft fur, feeling an intentional calmness radiate from the creature.

  “She hasn’t left your side. The medicine knocked you out cold," Nocturne said, his warm breath condensing in the chilly evening air. “They had no healer at the inn. I changed horses and kept riding. We’re almost at Firestone now.” He uncorked a waterskin and passed it behind him, instructing, “Drink.”

  Numbly, Saphira nodded. The fog in her head cleared as she swallowed the water. Her dress was completely soaked, and with it, the placenta. Good, she thought, I could die from infection if that hadn’t passed. Thank the Almighty I was unconscious during.

  Four riders blocked the road, swords at their sides, torches flaring in the dark.

  “State your name and business, stranger,” the youngest called.

  “Rell,” Nocturne said, lowering his cowl. “It’s me.”

  “Nox!” The boy’s face lit up. He tugged off his hood, revealing a shock of dark hair. Tattoos marked his neck and wrists, piercings glinting at his ears, brow and lip. “August said you'd be close. Is she with—”

  “Send word to Verity,” Nocturne cut in, voice flat.

  Rell’s smile vanished. He nodded sharply and turned to one of the older men. They proceeded up the mountain path, a grim silence stretching between the two warriors.

  “Rell, why are you out on patrol?” Nocturne lowered his voice and whispered, “Have you healed?”

  “Verity’s helping me." Aurelian touched his leg and said, "I wanted to be the first to see you.”

  “A squire who can’t walk isn’t much use." With an almost fatherly tenderness in his voice, he murmured, “I’m glad to see you up and about, Rell.”

  Aurelian leaned over the cart, his curiosity thinly veiled. When his eyes met Saphira’s, he blushed, bit his lip ring, and quickly looked away.

  Saphira sank deeper into the blanket, reaching for Dusty—only to find the faint warmth where the hell-leopard had curled. The first sign of strangers and Dusty is gone. Saphira bit her lip. She'll be back. I need her.

  The rocky slopes closed in as they climbed. Torchlight flickered off dark stone, and Saphira shivered uncontrollably, her breath misting in the cold.

  Without a word, Aurelian shrugged off his ash-grey cape and draped it over her shoulders, still avoiding her gaze.

  The cart lurched. Saphira clutched the side. Nocturne dismounted at once, steadying the horse, then pushed the cart onto a flatter section of path. More riders approached—among them, Gin, stamping and tossing his head.

  Nocturne tied the reins and jumped out of the driver's seat. He strode over to his stallion, pressing his forehead to Gin’s brow. The horse nickered, his hoof stamping the dirt in recognition.

  Returning to the cart, Nocturne gathered Saphira in his arms. She cast one last hollow look at the bloodstained hay before burying her face in his chest, clutching the warm crystalith egg.

  He lifted her onto Gin’s back and swung up behind her, his arm firm around her waist. She flinched as blood from her dress smeared the saddle. Around them, the soldiers stared—at her stained skirt, at her lilac hair. Saphira buried herself in Nocturne’s cloak.

  Nocturne pulled her hood low and held her tighter, his icy glare dampening their curiosity.

  The cold bit harder as they climbed. Ahead, torchlight flickered along the outer walls of Firestone Castle, perched high on the jagged outcrop of Hart Mountain.

  They continued, passing under the fortified gatehouse. Nocturne pulled Gin to a halt before the keep.

  An older man waited on the steps, wearing a fur coat hastily thrown over a sleep gown. He bowed low, the keys of the castle jangled at his belt.

  “My Lord, we weren’t expecting—”

  “Quintus,” Nocturne said, curt. “Is Verity awake?”

  “I woke her myself. She’s waiting in the apothecary.” His eyes flicked to Saphira. “Who is—?”

  “Bring Gin to Horsemaster Sirius,” Nocturne cut in, already lifting Saphira from the saddle. "I'm not to be disturbed this evening."

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  Carrying Saphira, he strode up the keep’s stairs, two steps at a time.

  As they entered through the great oak doors, Saphira felt a warmth radiating from the stone walls of Firestone. Nocturne took an immediate left turn, pacing through the dark hallway. They came to the apothecary, a large, warm room where the pale light of the stars could be seen through the glass dome.

  A petite woman knelt by the hearth, feeding logs to the hungry flames. At the sound of Nocturne’s throat clearing, she turned and stood. She was barely taller than the apothecary’s herb cabinet, and as she curtsied, a strand of copper red hair fell from her white hair cloth.

  “My Lord.” She looked up at Saphira with kindly emerald eyes, pushed her glasses back up her nose, and rolled up her sleeves, saying, “What happened?”

  Nocturne laid Saphira down on the bed by the fireplace. He stepped away, his hands closing into fists; Saphira’s blood stained his clothes. “She…was with child.”

  Verity pulled her stool over the bed and stepped up on it. Her cool, soft hand touched Saphira’s forehead. Glancing at Nocturne, she said, “My Lord, I can see you need rest. There is little you can do here—this is women’s business.”

  “Go. Rest. You did everything you could,” Saphira breathed, holding out the crystalith entombing Asher. “Take him. Keep him safe.”

  A look of relief swept over Nocturne’s expression as he took the crystalith. He looked sternly at Verity and instructed, "Take good care of her. Wake me if there are any complications." He exhaled, and said to Saphira, "I'll be here first thing in the morning, okay?"

  "The morning?"

  "Yes, right by your side." He looked at Verity and with a stony expression, he said, "She's in your hands. Thank you, Verity."

  He pressed his lips together and strode out, muddy boots thudding softly against stone. As Saphira watched him disappear into the darkness of the hallway, she felt an empty ache settle into her chest. She looked up and saw the stars of the night sky through the glass dome, feeling nothing but numbness as she beheld their pale beauty.

  Above: Verity at her workstation.

  “My name is Verity,” she said, washing her hands in a wooden bowl. “What’s your name?”

  “Saphira.”

  “I’m here to help you, Saphira.”

  “It’s too late,” Saphira sniffed, feeling the flimsy wall she had built come crashing down. A torrent of hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she wept, “He’s gone. It was so fast. He was so small. He was—he—”

  “I’m here,” Verity soothed, grasping Saphira’s hand and stroking her arm. She touched Saphira’s forehead and said, “You have a slight fever—I’m worried that it could be something fatal. Will you let me check you?”

  Numbly, Saphira nodded.

  As Verity moved to the foot of the bed, she asked, “Do you feel dizzy or faint?”

  Looking back up at the glass dome, Saphira shook her head. Verity removed Aurelian’s grey cloak and moved her bloodied skirt up to her hips. She placed a clean white sheet over Saphira’s lower half and then removed the rest of her underclothes. Then, she washed her hands, pouring a clear white alcohol over them.

  Beginning her examination, Verity asked, “Can you feel the bleeding and pain getting better or worse?”

  “It’s slowing,” Saphira winced. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. I passed the placenta.”

  “You have healing knowledge?”

  “A little,” Saphira whispered, her heart sinking, “…but not enough.”

  Verity soothed, “The worst of it is over. I’ll fetch something for that fever. But first, let me get the bath started.” Verity pulled a valve from the wall, causing warm spring water to rush from the copper pipe.

  With Verity’s help, Saphira sat upright, fumbling with the buttons of her dress. She accepted Verity’s steady hands as she stepped out of the heavy garment. Despite her small stature, Verity guided her with surprising strength.

  Saphira felt the hot spring water wrap around her, warming her bones. She inhaled the steam, sensing fresh, pine notes of yarrow under the floral aroma.

  Verity perused her desk, opening glass jars of dried herbs and taking handfuls of each. She sprinkled the herbs into the pool, releasing the soothing scents of sage, rosemary, and lavender. Verity finished the soak off with a handful of salt.

  “Willow bark tea, for the fever," Verity said, holding a steaming cup.

  Taking a sip of the tea, Saphira recoiled as the bitter water filled her mouth.

  Verity knelt behind Saphira and unbraided her hair. She ran her fingers through, washing out the grime with rose-scented soap. Saphira relaxed, feeling the simple comfort of human touch as Verity ran her fingers across Saphira’s scalp. Under her breath, Verity sang a simple tune, with lyrics describing snowy mountains, and dragons, and rivers of gold.

  After a while, small clots of blood rose to the surface of the water. Tears welled up again in Saphira’s eyes. Verity helped Saphira out of the pool, dried her off, and dressed her in a clean linen shift. On the bed, Saphira rested on a thick pad of rags.

  Beside the bed waited a wooden bowl of chicken broth. Saphira slurped, finishing the meal in minutes. She set the bowl down, guilt rising. How can I eat when Asher never even drew a breath?

  She clasped her hands together, still feeling his fragile weight in her palms. A sinking feeling turned Saphira’s skin cold as she recalled the otherness about Asher. We did not enter the Shadowlands, but we encountered nightspawn, she thought, is simply being near nightspawn enough to corrupt a child?

  A torrent of sickening guilt collided with Saphira. If I had not wandered off in the smuggler’s cave, I would have never faced nightspawn, she swallowed a lump in her throat, perhaps if I had stayed put, Asher would still be in my womb. She gripped the thick blanket, weeping, I failed my child, and I failed Nocturne.

  Tears blurred Saphira’s vision. Wiping them away, she saw Verity sitting at her desk, crushing Rinnel Weed in her mortar with a stone pestle.

  Saphira winced, “I just want the pain to go.”

  Tucking her copper hair back into her white cap, Verity rose from her seat. Moving to her medicine shelf, she said, “Would you like something to sleep?” She held up a glass vial filled with a creamy white liquid, moving her glasses further down her nose as she read the label. “Distilled valerian root. One dose and you’ll sleep for half the day.”

  “Give it to me.”

  “But when you wake, the pain in your heart will still be there.”

  Another sob came, broken and shaking as Saphira said, “Will it ever go away?”

  Verity whispered, “There will always be the pain of wondering what could have been. But you know that the pain means your child will never be forgotten—that they are forever loved.”

  Saphira nodded, turning away from Verity to face the fire. She watched the flames flicker and consume the wood, she shivered, despite the warmth of the fire and the thick blanket over her legs. She longed—so much so that she ached—for her husband to lay beside her and hold her.

  He just killed Golgog. He needs rest too, she reminded herself, He'll be here in the morning.

  Just checking in! These have been a few heavy chapters. How is everyone doing?