The night after the afternoon in which Titiana transmogrified Soda, Chunks, Cydroidobot, and Edwige back into their natural shapes, the friends all gathered around Rebekkah Earwax’s dinner table and shared a meal of a schmacaroon-nodeberry-jellynut-alien feces casserole she had made in her crockpot- except for Cydroidobot and Chunks, who could not and did not eat. They played dominoes while the others dug in.

  Soda turned to Cydroidobot and inquired: "What next, Cy? Will you still find Big Fat Fanny and marry her?"

  Cydroidobot computed for a few moments and then answered:

  "Well, I see no reason why we shouldn’t continue on. We are now in Schlingquad, where we are perfectly safe, and if it was right for me, before our transmogrification, to marry Big Fat Fanny and make her empress of the Mukuses, it must be right now, when the transmogrification has been broken and I am once more myself. Am I correct?"

  "You are, indeed," answered Mono. "No one can oppose such logic."

  "I do not know your Fanny, and so I cannot tell what she most needs to make her happy," said Titiana. "But there is no harm in your going to her and asking her if she still wishes to marry you. If she does, we will give you a grand wedding at Videotape Palace and, afterward, as empress of the Mukuses.”

  “Fanny would become one of the most important ladies in all Bonertania,” added Edwige.

  So it was decided that Cydroidobot would continue his journey, and that Chunks and Soda should accompany him, as before. Edwige also decided to join their party. She was very mushy and loved a good romantic story. She said:

  "I shall go with Cydroidobot and help him woo Fanny."

  Montana wanted to go, too, but as Cydroidobot did not invite her to join his party, she felt she might be intruding if she asked to be taken. She hinted, but she found he didn't take the hint. It is quite a delicate matter for one to ask a girl to marry him, however much she loves him, and perhaps Cydroidobot did not want to have too many looking on when he found his old sweetheart Fanny. So Mono contented herself with the thought that she would help Titi and Jodo prepare a round of parties and smorgasbords and movie marathons when the Robotic Emperor of the Mukuses reached the city of Schmegma with his new bride.

  Titiana and Montana and Vira climbed back upon Gash and returned to Videotape Palace in Schmegma City, after wishing their friends a safe and successful journey. Cydroidobot, Chunks, Soda and Edwige prepared to push west towards Mungtree Forest. Rebekkah gave Soda a bag of schmacaroons, then went back into her living room, packed a roachberry pipe, and watched a Quirkian kung-fu western named "Zap-Fist!" while doodling in one of her artbooks.

  A little while later Soda, Chunks, Cydroidobot, and Edwige were traveling routes that were well known to the molybdenum man, who felt quite at home among the fleshtrees in Mungtree Forest.

  "I was born in this grand, moist forest," said the Robotic Emperor, speaking proudly. He slapped a tree and globs of oils spurted from the tree’s oleaginous bark. It was here that Hepatitissa enchanted my chainsaw and I lost different parts of my meat body until I became all ‘bot. Also in this forest Big Fat Fanny lived with the stinky old hoo-hoo, and at the other edge of the fleshtrees stands the workshop of my friend Crazy Rolf, the famous botsmith who made my present beautiful form."

  "He must be very clever," declared Soda, admiringly.

  "He is simply wonderful," declared Cydroidobot. "The finest in spazmotronic technology."

  At night they camped underneath the rednut-bearing fleshtrees. Soda ate schmacaroons that Rebekkah Earwax had given her and offered Edwige some, but she had found some non-alien feces to eat, which grossed everyone out. After Soda and Edwige got a good night’s sleep (while Cydroidobot and Chunks went a little ways away to play movie trivia. At sunrise they tramped onward again, and presently Cydroidobot paused and said:

  "It was on this very spot that I first met Mono and Ratsack! We cannot be far from my old home, in that case."

  "No; my little tepee stands not a great way off, but there is no occasion for us to visit it. Our appointment is with Big Fat Fanny, and her dwelling is somewhat farther away, to the left of us."

  "Didn't you say she lives with that stinky old thaumaturge, who makes her a slave?" asked Chunks.

  "She did, but I am told that jerk-face was splattered into gore when Mono's pickle fell on her, so now Big Fat Fanny must live all alone. I haven't seen her, of course, since the nefarious thaumaturge was crushed, for at that time I was standing rusted in the forest and had been there a long time, but the poor girl must have felt very happy to be free from her cruel mistress."

  "Well," said Chunks, "let's travel on and find Big Fat Fanny. Lead on, your androidic highness, since you know the way, and we will follow."

  So Cydroidobot took a path that led through the thickest part of the forest, and they followed it for some time. The light was dim here, because fleshy, pulsating veiny vines and fulvous bushnut-bushes and greasy foliage were all about them, and often the molybdenum man had to push aside throbbing branches that obstructed their way, or cut them off with his glittery machete extension so that their ends spurted brownish-black goo. After they had proceeded some distance, the emperor suddenly stopped short and exclaimed: "Ugga Magugga!"

  Chunks, who was next, first bumped into her metal friend and then peered around his molybdenum body, and said in a tone of wonder:

  "Well, I do so declare!"

  Soda pushed forward to see what was the matter, and cried out in astonishment:

  "For goodness' sake!"

  Then the three stood motionless, staring hard, until Edwige's merry laughter rang out behind them and aroused them from their stupor.

  In the path before them stood a molybdenum man who was the exact duplicate of Cydroidobot, except that his fists were three times as big Cydroidobot’s. He was made of the same shining molybdenum from top to toe, and the molybdenum was covered in bird poo. But he stood immovable, with his mouth half parted and his eyes turned upward. On his head was welded a helmet with a visor and a brush on top. Yes, there was the biggest difference that distinguished him from the Robotic Emperor of the Mukuses, other than the giant hands. Oh, and this molybdenum man didn’t have an embossed fig leaf on his groin.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "It's a dream; it must be a dream!" gasped Cydroidobot; "There couldn't be two molybdenum men. Crazy Rolf assured me I was one of a kind!"

  "This one’s a warrior," said Edwige. "See his helmet?"

  Cydroidobot cautiously put out one hand and felt his double's arm. Then he said in a voice that trembled with emotion:

  "Who are you, friend?

  There was no reply.

  "He's rusted, just as you were once!" said Soda. "Here, Cy, lend me your oil-can a minute!"

  Cydroidobot tweaked one of his nipples and a compartment opened up in his torso. He reached in and pulled out his black-and-yellow oil-can, without which he never traveled, and Soda first oiled the stranger's molybdenum mouth and then worked them gently to and fro until the molybdenum warrior said:

  "That's enough. Thank you. I can now talk. But please oil my other joints."

  Soda did this, and Edwige and Chunks helped wiggle the warrior's joints as soon as they were oiled, until they moved freely.

  The android seemed highly pleased at his release. He stomped up and down the path, singing in a mighty voice:

  "The warrior is a splendid man when marching on parade, and when he meets the enemy he never is afraid. He rights the wrongs of nations, his quadrant's flag defends, the foe he'll fight with great delight, but seldom fights his friends."

  "Are you really a warrior?" asked Soda, when they had all watched this strange molybdenum person parade up and down the path and proudly flourish his glittery scimitar extension.

  "I was a warrior," was the reply, "but I've been a prisoner to Mr. Rust so long that I don't know exactly what I am."

  "But- dear me!" cried Cydroidobot, sadly perplexed; "how came you to be made of molybdenum?"

  "That," answered the Warrior, "is a sad, sad story. I was in love with a beautiful Schlingian girl, who lived with a stinky old hoo-hoo. The hoo-hoo did not wish me to marry the girl, so she enchanted my scimitar, which began hacking me to pieces. When I lost my legs I went to the botsmith, Crazy Rolf, and he made me some molybdenum legs. When I lost my arms, Crazy Rolf made me molybdenum arms, and when I lost my head he made me this fine one out of molybdenum. It was the same way with my trunk, and finally I was all molybdenum."

  "But, tell me," implored Cydroidobot, "what was the name of the Schling girl you were in love with?"

  "She is called Big Fat Fanny," said the Molybdenum Warrior.

  Hearing this, they were all so astonished that they were silent for a time, regarding the stranger with wondering looks. Finally Cydroidobot ventured to ask:

  "And did Fanny return your love?"

  "Not at first," admitted the Warrior. "When first I marched into the forest and met her, she was weeping over the loss of her former sweetheart, a chainsaw sculptor named Mike Creamer."

  "That is me!" said Cydroidobot.

  "She told me he was nicer than a warrior, because he was all made of molybdenum and shone beautifully in the sun. She said a molybdenum man appealed to her artistic instincts more than an ordinary meat man, as I was then. But I did not despair, because her molybdenum sweetheart had disappeared, and could not be found. And finally Big Fat Fanny permitted me to call upon her and we became friends. It was then that the stinky old hoo-hoo Hepatitissa discovered me and became furiously angry when I said I wanted to marry the girl. She enchanted my scimitar, as I said, and then my troubles began. When I got my molybdenum legs, Big Fat Fanny began to take an interest in me; when I got my molybdenum arms, she began to like me better than ever, and when I was all made of molybdenum, she said I looked like her dear Cydroidobot and she would be willing to marry me.

  "The day of our wedding was set, and it turned there were many insuffilating vipers in the area. Nevertheless I started out to get Big Fat Fanny, because the hoo-hoo had been absent for some time, and we meant to elope before she got back. As I traveled the forest paths vipers let loose their excretion and the rain of fluid moistened my joints, but I paid no attention to this because my thoughts were all on my wedding with beautiful Big Fat Fanny and I could think of nothing else until suddenly my legs stopped moving. Then my arms rusted at the joints and I became frightened and cried for help, for now I was unable to oil myself. So I stood helpless in this spot, hoping some wanderer would come my way and save me. But this forest path is seldom used, and I have been standing here so long that I have lost all track of time. In my mind I composed song parodies and thought about feature film motion pictures, but not a sound have I been able to utter. But this desperate condition has now been relieved by your coming my way and I must thank you for my rescue."

  "This is wonderful," said Chunks flatly, heaving a stuffy, long sigh. She was getting bored.

  "The strangest thing of all is that both you molybdenum men fell in love with the same girl," said Soda. "You were going to marry Big Fat Fanny?"

  "Well, you see I had promised to marry her, and I am an honest man and always try to keep my promises. I didn't like to disappoint the poor girl, who had been disappointed by one molybdenum man already."

  "That was not my fault, sort of" declared the Robotic Emperor of the Mukuses, and then he related how he, also, had rusted in the forest and after a long time had been rescued by Montana Shingles and the Ratsack Golem and had traveled with them to Schmegma City.

  "If Fanny loves you best, sir," answered the warrior, "I shall not interfere with your wedding her."

  "You should both go to her and allow her to take her choice," said Soda. "Then she will surely be happy."

  "That, to me, seems a very fair arrangement," said the Molybdenum Warrior.

  "I agree to it," said Cydroidobot, shaking the hand of his twin to show the matter was settled. "May I ask your name, sir?" he continued.

  "Before I was so cut up," replied the other, "I was known as Kommandant Fistur, but afterward I was merely called 'The Molybdenum Warrior.'"

  "Well, kommandant, if you are agreeable, let us now go to Big Fat Fanny and let her choose between us."