Alright, time to edit and post a chapter of my web serial. Ping! Discord, of course. Oh, nothing for me personally, just a general announcement. Hmmm, what’s this? #rules? Didn’t know there were rules for Special Streaks.
Ohhhh, apparently, there were serious rules. PG 13 kind of rules. Quit the not-safe-for-work-banter-in-#general-chat sort of rules. Oopsie! Too much talk of ball sacks and phalluses lately? Wait, was “phalluses” a word? Was that a thing? Don’t know; don’t care. Go on.
What’s happening in chat right now? Mac ’n cheese pic from SpiritdeCacao. Can always count on him for something food related. And a salad pic from ArlenKnight, the server’s host, saying “Worst take-out salad ever.”
Indeed. It was a to-go container with some wilted chopped iceberg lettuce and a lemon wedge. Ha! I clicked reply and posted:
Ayela: where’s the dressing?
ArlenKnight: I said it was worst ever, and I meant it.
SpiritdeCacao: no shit burger on it, though, so there’s that
Ayela: LOL!
ArlenKnight: no, I ate the shit burger first. It was vegetarian.
Exclamation: hey! veggie burgers are awesome
ArlenKnight: except when they’re not
GingerBollox: bean burgers are always nice
Ayela: and he’s back with his beans again
GingerBollox: You went there
SpiritdeCacao: I think it’s a draw
ArlenKnight: did we stop talking about my thing to talk about Ginger’s?
Ayela: oh Lawd, I do not want to know about y’alls things
Exclamation: my thing is better than yours
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Ayela: @Lorca! Help!
Lorca: No thing is better than those things.
SpiritdeCacao: wait— did no one want to see my mac ’n cheese?
GingerBollox: is that a euphemism in the balkans?
Ayela: can we get a teleportation system for food so I can gnosh that mac ’n cheese for lunch?
Lorca: THAT. YES. 100%.
Luna_phile: DND Friday rocked
Balmichi: my wife is the best. she made bannanna pudding for dessert
Lorca: see, we need food teleportation NOW
CoolBeans: did I hear something about pudding?
Fist pump! Yes! Me! Bam, bam, bam, all in a row! I was funny; I was quick! It was happening! I was making Discord friends and looking cool! The cat gif incident was forgotten!
ArlenKnight: @Ayela, I saw you made the Trending page
Ayela: what?
ArlenKnight: your book is Trending
Ayela: what’s that?
ArlenKnight: link to Purple Road. You’re really out of it, aren’t ya?
I clicked over to see what the fuck the owner of Special Streaks was talking about, and BOOM! Right there for all to see was my book on the Trending page. THAT’s why I was getting so many new views and followers!
Was my recent success even related to Discord at all? Or had I just gotten there by writing a great story that people wanted to read? My eyes swelled up, and all those tears I’d held back at Nanna’s threatend to come out, but I squashed them back down.
I flipped back to Discord.
GingerBollox: nah, she’s gone. we can go back to being manly again
ArlenKnight: I don’t think she knows anything about publishing on Purple Road
What was this? Were they dissing me? Did they want me to see it? Was it more of their jokes?
HC: She’s the best commenter I’ve ever seen on the platform, so I think she knows exactly what she’s doing
SassySword: I’m all for the teleportation of foods. @ArlenKnight, when’re you making baked chicken and rice again? Can I get some of that?
ArlenKnight: Sure, I’ll send some your way. Link to image of chicken.
And they were off again, talking about food. But, what I’d seen stung, even if HC and Sassy’d managed to smooth it over with a compliment. Were any of them actually my friends?
I backed away from my pad and looked out my apartment window, shaking my head.
No, Nanna was right. It was better to think of Discord as a tool to use and not consider them people I knew. They didn’t know anything about the real me. The whole server was just another form of entertainment, wasn’t it?
I closed the app, sick of it all of a sudden. Sick of pretending to be cool when I wasn’t. Sick of trying to fit in when I didn’t. And mostly, sick of being insecure and unknown.
I opened up Purple Road and took a screenshot of the Trending page, sending it to Nanna with a giant smiley face. I got a ton of emojis from her in response, and that was what I chose to focus on.
With Nanna on my mind, I sat down to write a few chapters. Yeah, all those tears I’d smashed down earlier poured onto the pages and then some. My characters got several emo chapters outta me that day, but it was worth it.
Rinsed out and wrung dry, I plowed through a bunch of dramas and some Korean delivery before crashing to sleep that night. Nothing woke me, not even the sound of Discord going mad while I slept.
